# Got "civil unioned" last week.



## Frank aka The Minotaur (Nov 12, 2004)

Though my partner and I have been together over 11 1/2 years (he sterotypically picked me up one night at a gay club), we haven't had the ability to protect our life together except for NJ's erstwhile domestic partner registry. It helped, but wasn't all-encompassing and was lacking in some areas. So when the NJ legislature, at the behest of the state supreme court, wrote the civil union law, we decided to do it. The law grants all the state benefits of marriage, just not the name.

Our ceremony took place last Tuesday Aug. 14 at our municipal complex, presided over by the municipal judge.

We arrived at the municipal building actually before the judge was ready for us, for which I was glad. He was running late with court sessions... I was freaking because we were running late; I did not know the judge and didn't want to get off on the wrong foot.

Actually partner and I got there on time, but his niece and nephew (our witnesses) were late because my mother-in-law, who is an invalid, was not ready. And guess whose job it is to get her around... her grandson, the 'best man'.

I calmed down when I knew we had to wait for the judge. And the judge was a pip. He was cracking jokes, and probably enjoying this as much as anyone. He was great and even took pictures with us. We had double rings. The text of the ceremony was simple:

*Judge:* "We are gathered here in the presence of these witnesses to join Frank and Carlos in Civil Union.

Will you have this man to be your Civil Partner? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health? And forsaking all others so long as you both shall live?"

*Each of us to the other:* "I will. I --- take you --- to be my Civil Partner to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

*Judge:* "Then by the power vested in me by the State of New Jersey, I now pronounce you Commited Partners."

The clerks came rushing in all grinning and beaming and shaking our hands.

We had a nice lunch celebration at an Italian restaurant. It was anything but quiet, as my partner's family is... um... boisterous.

And in keeping with the spirit of what this site is about, our dress:

I wore a brown with faint window pane stripes 2 button unvented suit, pleated pants (of course); tattersall point collar shirt; cognac shoes and belt.

He wore tan/light cocoa two button; white shirt, tone on tone; burgundy belt and shoes.

*At the start, the judge tells us to hold hands*

*Putting the ring in my nose... um I mean on my finger* 

*The 'maid of honor' and 'best man'*

So... I just thought I'd share the story.


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## mack11211 (Oct 14, 2004)

Congrats.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

Congratulatons!


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## JRR (Feb 11, 2006)

Congrats


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## Frank aka The Minotaur (Nov 12, 2004)

Thanks gentlemen.


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## Karl89 (Feb 20, 2005)

Frank,

Congrats! 

Karl


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

Congratulations, Frank!!


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Very heartfelt congrats. I am happy to hear things turned out so well at the ceremony and you two certainly make a distinguished couple.


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

Congrats, Frank. 
I've never been to a monster's wedding before. :icon_smile_big:


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## jbmcb (Sep 7, 2005)

Congratulations! I like your partner's tie.


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## Frank aka The Minotaur (Nov 12, 2004)

*Thanks all. I appreciate the well-wishes.*



Laxplayer said:


> Congrats, Frank.
> I've never been to a monster's wedding before. :icon_smile_big:


It was "monstrously" fun. ic12337:

:icon_smile_big:



jbmcb said:


> Congratulations! I like your partner's tie.


Yes, it's nice isn't it!? I coveted it from the first I saw it. We even got into a row about it... I insisted that was the one I was supposed to wear (mine actually complemented his)... needless to say I had to say he was right (leaves such a bad taste in the mouth ).


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## jackmccullough (May 10, 2006)

Congratulations, Frank! 

As a Justice of the Peace I've had the opportunity to do one civil union ceremony up here and it was really meaningful to the partners, even though they knew it would have no legal effect when they returned to their home state. I'd like to see civil unions be the law in all 50 states, and recognized by the federal government for all purposes as well.


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## KenR (Jun 22, 2005)

Congratulations to you!


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## radix023 (May 3, 2007)

Frank aka The Minotaur said:


> Though my partner and I have been together over 11 1/2 years (he sterotypically picked me up one night at a gay club), we haven't had the ability to protect our life together except for NJ's erstwhile domestic partner registry. It helped, but wasn't all-encompassing and was lacking in some areas. So when the NJ legislature, at the behest of the state supreme court, wrote the civil union law, we decided to do it. The law grants all the state benefits of marriage, just not the name.


Congratulations and best wishes, Frank!


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

Could we maybe move the political side of this to another thread? Frank was open and nice enough to share his big day with us. 

I would hate to see a nasty political argument mar this.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

forsbergacct2000 said:


> Could we maybe move the political side of this to another thread? Frank was open and nice enough to share his big day with us.
> 
> I would hate to see a nasty political argument mar this.


+1,000,000

Even though the specific question is innocent and legitimate, do we really want to enter that minefield at a fellow member's expense?

My Rx is wait three days and start another thread. In the meantime there is always google for the curious and inquisitive.


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## globetrotter (Dec 30, 2004)

congrats


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## radix023 (May 3, 2007)

ksinc said:


> +1,000,000
> 
> Even though the specific question is innocent and legitimate, do we really want to enter that minefield at a fellow member's expense?
> 
> My Rx is wait three days and start another thread. In the meantime there is always google for the curious and inquisitive.


conceded, edited, removed


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Agree with Fors, and this goes for all statements concerning the topic. Just warm well wishes is all that is called for. This thread is all about Frank and him making an honest man out of his partner! Congrats again you two :icon_smile:


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## rip (Jul 13, 2005)

Blessings on Thee and He. And on all who counseled (and practiced) forebearance from the political realm. It really doesn't have a place here and now.


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

Thank you for changing your post.

My only problem is we only get to see the back of Frank's suit. I'm sure you chose a nice one! (It's not a big problem, either LOL)

It looks like the best man coordinated his tie with your partner's. Was yours coordinated, too?

Congratulations, again!!


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## Karl89 (Feb 20, 2005)

Gents,

Not that this thread got that point (not even close!) but from the looks of it Frank and Mr. Frank can probably hold their own!

Karl


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## A Questionable Gentleman (Jun 16, 2006)

Congratulations, Frank. Will you two be fixing up the labyrinth now?


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## 16128 (Feb 8, 2005)

Congratulations and best wishes to the happy couple!


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## Frank aka The Minotaur (Nov 12, 2004)

I appreciate the well-wishes... thanks guys.



jackmccullough said:


> Congratulations, Frank!
> 
> As a Justice of the Peace I've had the opportunity to do one civil union ceremony up here and it was really meaningful to the partners, even though they knew it would have no legal effect when they returned to their home state. I'd like to see civil unions be the law in all 50 states, and recognized by the federal government for all purposes as well.


Yes, unless and until that comes to pass we still need other paperwork (wills, medical and financial p-o-a, etc.) to protect us should we go out of state and something happens to one of us. Of course, it's also all up to individuals: when my partner was hospitalized for several back operations over the years before we even had the d.p. registry, the hospital staff and surgeon, who were under no obligation to deal with me, welcomed me and were happy that there was someone to attend to his needs.

The judge said we were only his second civil union couple. The first were a female couple. He "indicated" that we were a lot easier than they were, especially when we said that the text was fine, and however he wanted to proceed was fine with us (we're pretty mellow and easy to please). I guess he had some trepidation, thinking all these ceremonies would be a bit difficult. :icon_smile_big:



A Questionable Gentleman said:


> Congratulations, Frank. Will you two be fixing up the labyrinth now?


If we can find it... the house is a mess from having company. 



forsbergacct2000 said:


> Thank you for changing your post.
> 
> My only problem is we only get to see the back of Frank's suit. I'm sure you chose a nice one! (It's not a big problem, either LOL)
> 
> ...


Thanks... the best man's tie was kind of a coincidence. He is my partner's nephew, and has a habit of raiding the closets. In fact one of my belts is still at his buddy's house. I have no hope of seeing the belt again. 

My tie actually was coordinated to my partner's. The colors of our shirts, ties and suits were coordinated by the associate at our MW. She has planned weddings before and went with colors and patterns that would complement, so that when we took pictures there would be a nice mix.


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## cufflink44 (Oct 31, 2005)

Congratulations and all best wishes to you and your partner, Frank. Thanks for sharing this.


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

Congratulations to you and yours, Frank. Rock on, America!


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## Trenditional (Feb 15, 2006)

Bravo, may you have many wonderful years together.


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

I always cry at civil unions. Any champagne and crabcakes left? Congrats


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## Frank aka The Minotaur (Nov 12, 2004)

cufflink44 said:


> Congratulations and all best wishes to you and your partner, Frank. Thanks for sharing this.


You're welcome... and thank _you_. 



FrankDC said:


> Congratulations to you and yours, Frank. Rock on, America!


Cool pic! Thanks.



Trenditional said:


> Bravo, may you have many wonderful years together.


Thanks.


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## LotharoftheHillPeople (Apr 30, 2006)

Congratulations, Frank.


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## Frank aka The Minotaur (Nov 12, 2004)

Thanks.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

Congratulations Frank and Carlos!


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

Thank you for your response to me, Frank. This IS a clothing site, after all!!


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

LotharoftheHillPeople said:


> Congratulations, Frank.





Frank aka The Minotaur said:


> Thanks.


LotharoftheHillPeople and Frank aka The Minotaur,

Off topic, but I just wanted to point out that you two have the funniest screen names on AAAC.


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## Frank aka The Minotaur (Nov 12, 2004)

eagle2250 said:


> Congratulations Frank and Carlos!


Thanks eagle. 



forsbergacct2000 said:


> Thank you for your response to me, Frank. This IS a clothing site, after all!!


Yes indeed. And I must say that the more time I spend here, the more I am examining and revisiting my clothing choices. Remember my thread about dressing more upscale for work when I really don't have to. I have a closetful (in reality it's more like _two_ closetsful) of nice shirts, pants shoes, jackets... not to mention drawers and containers (for seasonal rotation) of polos and merino/cashmere pullovers.

I sometimes wish I were in a more visible job function.



Laxplayer said:


> LotharoftheHillPeople and Frank aka The Minotaur,
> 
> Off topic, but I just wanted to point out that you two have the funniest screen names on AAAC.


Heh heh... I am usually just The Minotaur (my goal is to become half man and half beast: _ego eimai o minotavros!_), but on the old Man's Life clothing forum, I was Frank D. For some reason I used my current name as a transition.


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## mpcsb (Jan 1, 2005)

*GST.....*

I must be operating on Gay Standard Time, late as usual. *Congratulations and all best wishes.* My hubby and I married after 10 years together - so I know how you feel and am getting teary eyed as I type. I'm sure there were many tears of joy for the both of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing.


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## Frank aka The Minotaur (Nov 12, 2004)

mpcsb said:


> I must be operating on Gay Standard Time, late as usual.


No, that's Puerto Rican Time (hubby is Puerto Rican, so I can say that :icon_smile_wink: and we are ALWAYS late).



> *Congratulations and all best wishes.* My hubby and I married after 10 years together - so I know how you feel and am getting teary eyed as I type. I'm sure there were many tears of joy for the both of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing.


Thank you! 

And congratulations to you too!

Well, the tears came when I got the bill for our luncheon! :icon_smile_big:


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## Asterix (Jun 7, 2005)

Congratulations Frank!


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## Frank aka The Minotaur (Nov 12, 2004)

Thanks Asterix.


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## rnoldh (Apr 22, 2006)

Congratulations and really cool:icon_smile_big: 

See how nice something of this sort can be before the politicians and interest groups get their hands on it.


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## Frank aka The Minotaur (Nov 12, 2004)

Heh heh... thanks. 

Well, those who wanted to repeal it already stamped their feet and gnashed their teeth here in NJ; they were soundly shouted down. So I think it's here to stay.


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