# On becoming a country squire



## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

I live in a century old two story red brick colonial. You could describe it as an old farm house, but where is the romance in that? In fact I choose to describe the place as a country estate, complete with carriage house, barns and outbuildings. 
I believe the old house is alive and has a soul, I'm sensitive like that. Lately she has requested that I begin to affect the persona and appearance of a country squire. I like the idea, but do not know where to begin. The fall and winter wardrobe should be easy enough--spring and summer probably a little more difficult. 

Any tips for an aspiring modern day country squire?

Allen


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## A Questionable Gentleman (Jun 16, 2006)

Allen,

The trick lies in getting hearty yeomen to tug their forelocks as you amble by. No forelock tugging, no squirehood for you!


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## Literide (Nov 11, 2004)

Tweed suit, plus 2s, flat cap, and all the other accoutremonts.
Plenty of guns and dogs too


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## familyman (Sep 9, 2005)

You need to be able to talk about 'the help'. Doens't have to be a live in maid or anything, but you need a sturdy farm boy to tend to the fields and someone always about the place fixing something. You can do some tasks about the place, but nothing really productive, just a little something here or there to pass the time. 
Remember, you own the place, others work for you. If you do the work then who's the boss? If it's not you then you're not a country squire.


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## DownSouth (Jun 30, 2005)

*Heeerrrreeess, Johnny!!!!!!*



Allen said:


> I believe the old house is alive and has a soul, I'm sensitive like that. Lately she has requested that I begin to affect the persona and appearance of a country squire.
> 
> Any tips for an aspiring modern day country squire?
> 
> Allen


Ever seen "The Shining"?

[Posted purely in jest]


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

Thank you for the suggestions. Please keep them coming. 


------

Would an early morning constitutional be required of a country squire?

Allen


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## Beresford (Mar 30, 2006)

You need to train the neighbors to doff their hats when they see you, as a mark of respect. The old "touching the forelock" routine is a nice touch also. :icon_smile:


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## Connemara (Sep 16, 2005)

Corduroy trousers, suede bluchers, tattersall shirt, tweed hacking jacket, odd waistcoat (preferrably doeskin) and a tie with pheasants should complete the look. Don't forget a pocket square in loden or rich burgundy...great country colors!


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## Tom Buchanan (Nov 7, 2005)

Allen,

I have just the role model. Here in the DC area, we had an owner of the Redskins who affected possibly the greatest country squire look/persona ever seen. In fact, the sportswriter Tony Kornheiser (now of ESPN fame) took to referring to him simply as "The Squire".

Jack Kent Cooke was a true role model for this look. Even though he was originally a working class Canadian and lived much of his life in L.A. making a fortune in real estate, he moved to Virginia horse country, donned tweeds, bred horses and became the ultimate Squire. It was once written that he did not eat lunch because he didnt want to outgrow his Savile Row tweed suits (strikes me as both fogey and squire-ish).

Perhaps Doctor Damage or someone could dig up and post a few pictures of him. I think you will agree that he perfected the look.

I look forward to seeing your new incarnation.


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## Tom Buchanan (Nov 7, 2005)

Here is a link to a picture. I look forward to seeing your future ascot collection


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## xcubbies (Jul 31, 2005)

I'm sure a few serfs around the house would help with the image.


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

Go back and look at Jam's catalog photos.


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

I would think a few high quality briar pipes and possibly one of the plainer meerschaum pipes would help, no doubt a good burley tobacco to fill with. Also, one might start addressing people as, "old chap" or "my dear man"?


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## MvdM (Jun 7, 2006)

In addition to the other suggestions, you may want to throw in a fox hunt for good measure.


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

Literide said:


> Tweed suit, plus 2s, flat cap, and all the other accoutremonts.
> Plenty of guns and dogs too


Thanks, Lite.

Sounds like a great start. Please elaborate on the accoutrements when you have the time. I'm looking forward to hearing your response.

Allen


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

familyman said:


> You need to be able to talk about 'the help'. Doens't have to be a live in maid or anything, but you need a sturdy farm boy to tend to the fields and someone always about the place fixing something. You can do some tasks about the place, but nothing really productive, just a little something here or there to pass the time.
> Remember, you own the place, others work for you. If you do the work then who's the boss? If it's not you then you're not a country squire.


At present we have only weekend help and the weekly visit from the house keeper. Does this suffice or should I look into hiring additional staff?


Allen


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## Larchmont (Jan 2, 2005)

Allow the locals to have a yearly steeplechase event on the lower acreage.


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## DougNZ (Aug 31, 2005)

My wife would suggest I send you everything in my wardrobe, tweedy as it is. However, I'm afraid that there's more to being a country gentleman than owning a tweed coat.

Much as it has pained my eyes, I've grown accustomed to apple green and pink in the postings from you, Allen. I'm just not sure about you giving it away for browns, rusts, forests and tans ...


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## tripreed (Dec 8, 2005)

If you don't have a Barbour yet, perhaps you should look into it. And some green rubber Wellington boots, as well, for work in the yard.


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## wheredidyougetthathat (Mar 26, 2006)

Well now, but what sort of squire is it you're wanting to be?

Are you going to be a *good* squire, all bluff and hearty and throwing coins around for the peasantry to drink your health with? 
If so:
Recommended attire: Tweed everything
Useful expression: "Ho ho ho! Eh?"
Reference: Novels by Dickens

Or are you going to be a *bad* squire, all chasing after lusty wenches and trampling the peasants' corn in the fields?
If so:
Recommended attire: Long black cloak, high black boots
Useful expression: "Take _that_, you insolent knave!"
Reference: Movies by Hammer


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## septa (Mar 4, 2006)

Foxhunting is a must. As is an English side by side shotgun. Utterly useless animals on one's land (think deer, or, as one of my friends who lives the life of a squire in Connecticutt has, some sort of pygmy sheep on the front lawn that he lets a neighbor take care of), huge dogs, i.e., deerhounds and wolfhounds, and hosting some country event one one's land (flower or dog show) also help. A musty cave filled with port, frayed oriental carpets and shelves filled with books on local history, colonial geneology, foxhunting, dog and horse pedigrees, and 18th and 19th century English novels on the country life would complete the look.


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

*Transportation*

Come mid-October, the convertible will have grown stale. The carefree days of summer will have long ended and the car no longer capable of providing a thrill. I don't really winterize her, but I do park her. She is usually garaged with the intention of starting her up every couple of weeks and taking a spin around town flicking on the seat warmers to see if they still work. In the past, weeks have turned into months and there she sat, alone in the garage waiting for spring to arrive. Spring is a great time to go knifing through the twisties. Spring, of course, will turn to summer and I'll don shades to keep the sun from bruising my eyes. I'll wave to the girls catching the afternoon sun. 

In years past I have relied on a Land Rover Discovery for fall and winter duty. I wonder if this is suitable transportation for a country squire. It would not pain me to hear from someone that I absolutely had to have the Defender model. I can't imagine a more suitable carriage than a real sport utility vehicle. But if in order to be a modern day country squire I was forced to drive a station wagon, I suppose I could be tempted by the BMW 5 series wagon.

Our discussions have neglected the spring/summer wardrobe-any suggestions? Doug, what do you wear when the weather turns warm?

I really like the posts I have read thus far. There shouldn't be any real need for method acting on my part. Please keep up your contributions if something else is brought to mind.


Allen


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

septa said:


> Foxhunting is a must. As is an English side by side shotgun. Utterly useless animals on one's land (think deer, or, as one of my friends who lives the life of a squire in Connecticutt has, some sort of pygmy sheep on the front lawn that he lets a neighbor take care of), huge dogs, i.e., deerhounds and wolfhounds, and hosting some country event one one's land (flower or dog show) also help. A musty cave filled with port, frayed oriental carpets and shelves filled with books on local history, colonial geneology, foxhunting, dog and horse pedigrees, and 18th and 19th century English novels on the country life would complete the look.


Great post.
Are you a country squire?

Allen


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## Mad4Madras (Jul 24, 2006)

_And some green rubber Wellington boots, as well, for work in the yard._

Of course, by "work in the yard" you mean poking at things with your walking stick.

As for the help, it seems crucial that you have at least one person out and about, his role unclear; maybe a groom, maybe a gardener. Whoever he is (he should have an appropriate name, like Trevor), be sure the neighbors see him, and you should frequently grouse about his impertinence, whenever you corner someone for a chat.

Always be seen walking places at a brisk pace.

Pay in coins, whenever possible.

Laugh frequently, and when people visit, caution them to mind where the sheep have been.

Have some sheep, by the way. They are very easy to keep (Trevor can see to it), and in fact, you can buy them in the spring and sell them in the fall, so there is no need to fuss over winter accomodations. And to that point, livestock auctions are ripping places for a squire to spend an afternoon. Be sure to take it very seriously, though.


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## septa (Mar 4, 2006)

Allen said:


> Great post.
> Are you a country squire?
> 
> Allen


 No, no, I'm an aspiring country squire. Fantasies about country squiredom are what enabled me to study awful subjects like physics, and continue on the path toward becoming a good doctor like yourself.


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## Mad4Madras (Jul 24, 2006)

And for transportation, I recommend a Jeep Wagoneer.


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## Coolidge24 (Mar 21, 2005)

I think it unlikely that anyone who has to work for a living will ever be a country squire, much as he might aspire to it.

I include Jack Kent Cooke, and certainly myself among those who will never make it. "Appropriately" costumed aspirant is about the best you can achieve.


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Possibly end sentences with the word "what?" in a manner similar to the character in the T.S. White Arthurian novels. The knight in constant pursuit of the Questing Beast, I just can not think of his name, what?


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## Mad4Madras (Jul 24, 2006)

Wayfarer, excellent point. And, I think you are referring to Pellinor and/or Parcival, eh wot?



Also, consider paying your neighbors to thatch their roofs in straw.


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## longwing (Mar 28, 2005)

Allen, I fully support this move. However, being southern preppy one day and country squire the next could pose problems. You will need to plan this carefully. Clearly the southern preppy thing works very well at steeplechase and similar events, but I think that moving your professional attire more towards the country squire look is a great idea.


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

LongWing said:


> Allen, I fully support this move. However, being southern preppy one day and country squire the next could pose problems. You will need to plan this carefully. Clearly the southern preppy thing works very well at steeplechase and similar events, but I think that moving your professional attire more towards the country squire look is a great idea.


Longwing, ol sport, I suspect you've felt this way for some time. I wish you would have been honest with me from the start. The line will have to be drawn, what? I was considering a seasonal variation between the southern prep and country squire look. The professional-casual divide never occurred to me. I think you may have sniffed out a solution. Speaking of (slides tulip shaped goblet across the table) let's have a wee dram, what?

Allen


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## longwing (Mar 28, 2005)

Allen, My wife is out of town and I am having a pram !!! 


Dewars.


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

LongWing said:


> Allen, My wife is out of town and I am having a pram !!!
> 
> Dewars.


(smile) icon

Allen


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## Mad4Madras (Jul 24, 2006)

Also, have you considered making house calls to deliver babies? It would add conviction that you are a man firmly grounded to the earth, and home and hearth.

If you could arrive for the procedure on horseback, so much the better.


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

Mad4Madras said:


> Also, have you considered making house calls to deliver babies? It would add conviction that you are a man firmly grounded to the earth, and home and hearth.
> 
> If you could arrive for the procedure on horseback, so much the better.


While I was out with the hounds this eve taking my constitutional I stumbled upon what I believe to be a mounting stone. I'll have my boy place the stone nearer the house this weekend, what?

Allen


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## Mad4Madras (Jul 24, 2006)

Jolly good!

By the way, you have a name for your estate, of course? All proper squires do. One doesn't want to appear effected, but something utilizng the format "___ House" or "___ Hall" should set the appropriate gravity. After all, what's the point of being a squire if you aren't going to stand tall in the saddle?


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

Mad4Madras said:


> Jolly good!
> 
> By the way, you have a name for your estate, of course? All proper squires do. One doesn't want to appear effected, but something utilizng the format "___ House" or "___ Hall" should set the appropriate gravity. After all, what's the point of being a squire if you aren't going to stand tall in the saddle?


Thank you for the suggestions. 
We have always referred to the estate as _Beaver Creek_. If you feel the name not lofty enough, please respond post-haste so that the impropriety can be remedied with a more dignified and impressive name.

Allen


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Beaver Creek? Pray tell, how didst you settle on this name, what? I think it is a spanking name, the beaver being a most industrious creature. He changes his environment to suit himself, most suitable of a squire, what?


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## JLibourel (Jun 13, 2004)

I am surprised that only one person has so far mention a stick. I should think a decent assortment of suitable sticks in oak, blackthorn, etc., should be essential. Perhaps a few silver-mounted ones for the dressier occasions.

For a house name, I always like something beginning with "The," as in "The Oaks," "The Elms," etc.


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## familyman (Sep 9, 2005)

You also need another place to talk about. Nothing so vulgar as a lake house. Something like a mountain. You need to be able to talk about the house at Mount Guideon or something or another. Make it clear that you own the whole mountain and it's a getaway from this hectic life you lead. I'm not suggesting you make up stories to tell people, I'm suggesting you head right off and start looking for a mountain to buy.
EDIT: And of course you will have to send the family away to summer. Send the help with them as well.


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## Mad4Madras (Jul 24, 2006)

I strongly advocate the carriage of sticks, and concur, a proper selection is most fitting. I would recommend at least one contain a sword within.

"The" is a good prefix, as it lends a certain singularity and definitiveness to a name. Unlike "at", as in, "The Oaks at Beaver Creek", which smacks of bourgeois pretention.

Really, brilliant name as it stands, though.

On another note, might I suggest a derringer; one that may be discretely carried in an inner jacket pocket? The landed are customarily armed, and in Virginia, it is a particularly straightforward matter to undertake. Although it would be almost a token gesture, as a gentleman doesn't keep rough company, but being in the country, one never knows when one might cross paths with a highwayman or other such blackguard.

Another indispensible item of kit for an afternoon excursion is a .


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## familyman (Sep 9, 2005)

Ok, I'm on a roll tonight. 
You need to raise something purely for the love of the breed. You'll loose money at it of course, but that's ok, because it's for the love of the breed. You could do something rather common like horses or dogs but I believe you to be an eccentric. I think you'll go for something like miniature Chinese fighting ducks. Something nobody has ever heard about in your neck of the woods and looks really weird but does in fact exist. Something for the love of the breed, look into it.


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## Smudger (Jun 11, 2005)

*The Country Gent*

Spot on postings!!! Would second JL's rec of sticks...plenty of sticks in a hall container of sorts. Above all have a fancy gold-headed cane which is the symbol of the physician. Be sure to tote it when you make house calls. Take a dog with you when you make housecalls. Be sure to have old prints of foxhunting, ships-especially of H.M.S. Glow Worm and British military prints, e.g. any of Lady Butler's prints. Keep a 12-bore side-by-side in the den in a corner and have a Webley-Scott .455 in a drawer in the library. Also, in the winter, wear a Inverness coat/cape and a deerstalker without the Sherlock Holmes earflaps!!! Practice saying "bloody shame we lost India" in case someone comments about the decline in civilized society and you wish to add your opinions as well!

Bill


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## Mad4Madras (Jul 24, 2006)

_"bloody shame we lost India"_

Pronounced "IN-jah", wot?

Occassionally, late in the evening, over a glass of port, while prodding at the embers in the fireplace, speak fondly of "Sarjent Major", from your time in "the regiment".


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## Clotheswatcher (Dec 2, 2005)

familyman said:


> Ok, I'm on a roll tonight.
> You need to raise something purely for the love of the breed. You'll loose money at it of course, but that's ok, because it's for the love of the breed. You could do something rather common like horses or dogs but I believe you to be an eccentric. I think you'll go for something like miniature Chinese fighting ducks. Something nobody has ever heard about in your neck of the woods and looks really weird but does in fact exist. Something for the love of the breed, look into it.


I am not kidding when I say that my neighbors bought a special hamster for their son from a "hamster breeder" who screens families to see if they would be "a good fit" for the hamster. Oh what a world!


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## Beresford (Mar 30, 2006)

*Ahh yes, the estate name*



Mad4Madras said:


> Jolly good!
> 
> By the way, you have a name for your estate, of course? All proper squires do. One doesn't want to appear effected, but something utilizng the format "___ House" or "___ Hall" should set the appropriate gravity. After all, what's the point of being a squire if you aren't going to stand tall in the saddle?


There used to be a famous estate in this neck of the woods known as "Old Plantation."

Before my mother and her sister got married, they lived together in an old house in rather serious disrepair. They fondly referred to it, tongue in cheek, as "Old Foundation."


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## shoefetish (Jan 15, 2006)

Right old bean, first thing you do is acquire a public school accent, speech and mannerisms. Anything less then a clipped Oxford, Cambridge or Eton accent is letting the side down.

You can buy all the clothes you want, have all the fancy names but if your personality/style isn't of the landed gentry or idle rich as the working classes would say then it's just not on. You don't want anyone to say "he was just a green grocer who got lucky on the horses".

So tinkerty tonk and on with the madness


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## JLibourel (Jun 13, 2004)

I am uneasy with the recommendation of a derringer. That's more the sidearm of a riverboat gambler than a country gentleman. The Webley-Scott .455 revolver would be more like it. A W-S .455 auto pistol or a Webley-Fosbery revolver would be even better. However, if Allen is going to be based in America, I think a good pre-World War II Colt or Smith & Wesson revolver would be quite appropriate. Something like a Colt Model 1903 Pocket Model automatic (the .38 ACP with the exposed hammer, not the much more common .32 that is similarly designated) would also be excellent. A Remington Model 51 or a Savage auto pistol would also be good.


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

Have someone follow you around wherever you go. Turn to him often and say, "Ah, here's a thought...write this down!" It matters little what the thought is...you said it, and by God it's important!
Also, ride your horse into town...straight into a local pub, order a drink for yourself, and one for the horse.


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## dpihl (Oct 2, 2005)

*Sorry for sounding like a broken record*

Allen, did you happen to see my final post on the Hunting thread?

Sorry for repeating myself, but I posted some links there that will lead you to some serious country squire clothing sites. One of the sites sells anything you could ever want made in Harris Tweed. Green Wellies galore.

Also, you need to fill your house with the kinds of wall placards they sell at sites like this one. If you need help filling out your pedigree, I'm an at that sort of thing. Just taught another seminar this past week...

PM me your email address if you are interested, so you aren't divulging any
personal information to the world at large.

A suit of armor would seem a good idea, but alas, I've been told that none of the catalogs I've seen carry the "good stuff". The swords must be forged steel, and everything else must be battle ready. There's a lot of crap on the market these days, for costume wear only. Seriously, there are at least two dozen mail order companies that carry the cheap stuff.
Don't know if there is a reason not to buy the cheap stuff if it's for display only. Anybody? Anybody?

JLibourel's gun advise is correct, I presume, as he is the expert. However, you may want to ask him about the correct way to display your weapons. Should you display replicas and keep the real weapons in the gun safe? Do you need early flintlock pistols in the collection that you keep on permanent display? How about crossbows and such?


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## DougNZ (Aug 31, 2005)

Allen said:


> Our discussions have neglected the spring/summer wardrobe-any suggestions? Doug, what do you wear when the weather turns warm?
> Allen


Where the real squires come from, there is no warm weather, just more wet weather that is slightly milder.

For the rest of us, tattersall shirt, chinos or light moleskins, flat cap. The tweed jacket (maybe in hints of green and yellow - think British shades not Southern statements) goes on for fivesies and stays on for the rest of the evening.


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## dpihl (Oct 2, 2005)

Anything from ought to be fair game for the country squire. Here's an old article from the Times.

The following page titled "Castle and Cottage" contains only reproduction antiques (alas), but has a few really good suggestions. Silver Coffee service, Cathedral Radios, Tapestries, Brocade and Velvet furniture, Leather wingback chairs with button tufts and brass tacks along the perimeter, etc. Many good ideas for the country estate.

The company is called Victorian Trading Co.

https://www.victoriantradingco.com/store/catalogimages/cl/i256D.html

This old Victrolla is available in a working version from V.T.C. Apparently these can be obtained as newly manufactured antiques from all over India.​​
Not Colonel Littleton's classic Doctor's Satchel, but alas I can't find hide nor hair of that model on his web site. Must be a distant memory...



Tons of sword canes on the web, but this dog's head seemed like a likely candidate for the Allen that I've learned to admire.

Here are a few of the necessities from Restoration Hardware/ Rennovator's Supply/ Yield House/ Weather Vanes of Maine

https://www.rensup.com/High-Tank-Toilets/12198.htm 


https://www.rensup.com/Cupolas/99500.htm






Your Valet already knows how to find you a genuine Thiers-Issard Razor (Full Damascus or the famous "Singing" model).

https://www.classicshaving.com/catalog/item/2053630/2101271.htm​
R.A. Rooney & Sons Silver Tip Badger Bristle Shaving Brush (especially now that Culmak has gone after the extreme low end).


​
Crabtree & Evelyn's Sandalwood Shave Soap to put in your antique mug, or your pewter shaving bowl from Taylors of Old Bond Street.



P.S. I'd forgotten about this one. Here's a bowl from the famous Edwin Jagger of Sheffield. Gold Plate would seem a bit much, but the hand spun metal ought to be just dandy, don't you think?



As always, the pictures ought to be clickable if you want to link to the source of the photo. I try to remember to do that whenever I can.​


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## A Questionable Gentleman (Jun 16, 2006)

Allen,

I suggest that you subscribe to The Chap.



They'll point you frighteningly on your way.


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## Literide (Nov 11, 2004)

Allen said:


> Thank you for the suggestions. Please keep them coming.
> 
> 
> ------
> ...


Yes, both walking and sitting


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## mpcsb (Jan 1, 2005)

Literide said:


> Yes, both walking and sitting


"Where's your father?"

"His coffee kicked in."


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## Literide (Nov 11, 2004)

LongWing said:


> Allen, I fully support this move. However, being southern preppy one day and country squire the next could pose problems. You will need to plan this carefully. Clearly the southern preppy thing works very well at steeplechase and similar events, but I think that moving your professional attire more towards the country squire look is a great idea.


The 2 are close, mid-atlantic*, cousins, climate adjusted.

* I am not refering to the central states on the East coast of the US


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## Clovis (Jan 11, 2005)

*Into the rural-gothic*



septa said:


> Foxhunting is a must. As is an English side by side shotgun. Utterly useless animals on one's land (think deer, or, as one of my friends who lives the life of a squire in Connecticutt has, some sort of pygmy sheep on the front lawn that he lets a neighbor take care of), huge dogs, i.e., deerhounds and wolfhounds, and hosting some country event one one's land (flower or dog show) also help. A musty cave filled with port, frayed oriental carpets and shelves filled with books on local history, colonial geneology, foxhunting, dog and horse pedigrees, and 18th and 19th century English novels on the country life would complete the look.


Septa's advice is a very good start. If you don't ride, you must start immediately. Your goal should be to be going over fences and cubbing (for fox) within two years. Once you start hunting (fox) on a regular basis, your transformation into the rural-gothic will become inevitable and you will soon find yourself irreversibly immersed in the lifestyle that is currently beckoning to you. But be prepared to leave much of your old world behind.


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

Clovis said:


> Septa's advice is a very good start. If you don't ride, you must start immediately. Your goal should be to be going over fences and cubbing (for fox) within two years. Once you start hunting (fox) on a regular basis, your transformation into the rural-gothic will become inevitable and you will soon find yourself irreversibly immersed in the lifestyle that is currently beckoning to you. But be prepared to leave much of your old world behind.


Capital!
Southern gothic brings to mind a mysterious and desolate life. A spiritless existence probably best served up cold. Perfect for the grey and rainy winter months as one sits with face cupped in hands by the coal burning fireplace, what?

Allen


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## Doctor Damage (Feb 18, 2005)

When did this forum become a "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" pastiche? Or is the heat getting to everyone? And Allen, are you channelling Harris, in the supernatural sense?


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Doctor Damage said:


> When did this forum become a "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" pastiche? Or is the heat getting to everyone? And Allen, are you channelling Harris, in the supernatural sense?


Old Chap, what?


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

Doctor Damage said:


> When did this forum become a "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" pastiche? Or is the heat getting to everyone? And Allen, are you channelling Harris, in the supernatural sense?


Yes, delusional, I'm afraid it is the heat. 
Should be back to normal soon, what?

Non compos mentis,
Allen


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## joeyzaza (Dec 9, 2005)

In which part of the US is your estate located? Different areas of the country lend themselves to unique opportunities.


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## Beresford (Mar 30, 2006)

Allen said:


> Yes, delusional, I'm afraid it is the heat.
> Should be back to normal soon, what?
> 
> Non compos mentis,
> Allen


Ahh, yes, mad dogs and Englishmen out in the noonday sun again. We tropical natives always thought that was amusing.

Mad Dogs and Englishmen
(Noel Coward)

In tropical climes there are certain times of day
When all the citizens retire,
to tear their clothes off and perspire.
It's one of those rules that the biggest fools obey,
Because the sun is much too sultry and one must avoid
its ultry-violet ray --
Papalaka-papalaka-papalaka-boo. (Repeat)
Digariga-digariga-digariga-doo. (Repeat)
The natives grieve when the white men leave their huts,
Because they're obviously, absolutely nuts --

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.
The Japanese don't care to, the Chinese wouldn't dare to,
Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly from twelve to one,
But Englishmen detest a siesta,
In the Philippines there are lovely screens,
to protect you from the glare,
In the Malay states there are hats like plates,
which the Britishers won't wear,
At twelve noon the natives swoon, and
no further work is done -
But Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.

It's such a surprise for the Eastern eyes to see,
That though the British are effete,
they're quite impervious to heat,
When the white man rides, every native hides in glee,
Because the simple creatures hope he will
impale his solar topee on a tree.
Bolyboly-bolyboly-bolyboly-baa. (Repeat)
Habaninny-habaninny-habaninny-haa. (Repeat)
It seems such a shame that when the English claim the earth
That they give rise to such hilarity and mirth -

Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.
The toughest Burmese bandit can never understand it.
In Rangoon the heat of noon is just what the natives shun.
They put their scotch or rye down, and lie down.
In the jungle town where the sun beats down,
to the rage of man or beast,
The English garb of the English sahib merely gets a bit more creased.
In Bangkok, at twelve o'clock, they foam at the mouth and run,
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.

Mad Dogs and Englishmen, go out in the midday sun.
The smallest Malay rabbit deplores this stupid habit.
In Hong Kong, they strike a gong, and fire off a noonday gun.
To reprimand each inmate, who's in late.
In the mangrove swamps where the python romps
there is peace from twelve till two.
Even caribous lie down and snooze, for there's nothing else to do.
In Bengal, to move at all, is seldom if ever done,
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.


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## Doctor Damage (Feb 18, 2005)

At the risk of re-awakening the 'fogey' thing (shudder), here's some photos of Jack Kent Clarke.









What any of this has to do with Trad clothing is beyond me...


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## Tom Bell-Drier (Mar 1, 2006)

Allen,
all good advice so far but for a real touch off authenticity purchase and study a dvd box set of James Herriots "all creatures great and small"
paying particular attention to siegfried farrnon although not a country squire
he was an old money vetenerian and therefore like your good self a medical proffesional allowing yourself to make direct comparisons. 
as far as landrover defenders are concerned I am fairly sure that the US government banned the importation of newer models about 10 years ago but this should be no detriment the true country squire would prefer an old model prior to the defender name such as the 88" series one or an early series two for more luxurious travell consider the rangerover classic this vehicle was designed with the country squire in mind ( a more refined 4x4 vehicle yet still able to go where the landrover went"
don`t forget the eccentricity and peculiar humour.


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

Coolige,

I think you need to take a break from your work and studies. Perhaps some nice Cheever would bring you around. Did you read my initial post-old farmhouses transformed into country estates, soulful houses speaking, and the affectation of a modern day country squire? One either read it with humor or contempt. Sounds like you chose the later-shame really, the entire thread was quite fun and really lent itself to your style of prose. Perhaps next time I'll PM you and let you know the game is afoot. Furthermore your attempt at a "wake up call" didn't fall on deaf ears, it was just needless. I assure you that our beloved "trad" was in no way dishonored or disgraced.

Now, what do you say about a thread entitled _On becoming a whaling captain_.

Allen


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## DownSouth (Jun 30, 2005)

*Cooke........*



Doctor Damage said:


> At the risk of re-awakening the 'fogey' thing (shudder), here's some photos of Jack Kent Clarke.


I believe his last name is Cooke.....Jack Kent Cooke.
You must've had Superman on your mind [ha, ha]


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

Allen said:


> In years past I have relied on a Land Rover Discovery for fall and winter duty. I wonder if this is suitable transportation for a country squire. It would not pain me to hear from someone that I absolutely had to have the Defender model. I can't imagine a more suitable carriage than a real sport utility vehicle. But if in order to be a modern day country squire I was forced to drive a station wagon, I suppose I could be tempted by the BMW 5 series wagon.
> Allen




Allen: Now don't go half-steppen on your vehicle choices for a country squire. Yes the Land Rover Defender model would maintain that decidedly British air but, a Hummer, Model H-1 (the really big one) would really make a statement. You could even mount a .50 cal MG in the turret, to use on those fox hunts!


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## Doctor Damage (Feb 18, 2005)

Allen said:


> Coolige,
> 
> I think you need to take a break from your work and studies. Perhaps some nice Cheever would bring you around. Did you read my initial post-old farmhouses transformed into country estates, soulful houses speaking, and the affectation of a modern day country squire? One either read it with humor or contempt. Sounds like you chose the later-shame really, the entire thread was quite fun and really lent itself to your style of prose. Perhaps next time I'll PM you and let you know the game is afoot. Furthermore your attempt at a "wake up call" didn't fall on deaf ears, it was just needless. I assure you that our beloved "trad" was in no way dishonored or disgraced.


Allen, that was a bit "sharp", as the Brits would say. I'll ask again, this time with a little less humour, are you channelling Harris? Take away your login name and the post above could never be attributed to you.


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## mpcsb (Jan 1, 2005)

Allen said:


> Now, what do you say about a thread entitled _On becoming a whaling captain_.
> Allen


I'm game as long as you are talking about a three hour tour...a three hour tour - ( wink - as you would say - what?).


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## mcarthur (Jul 18, 2005)

Doctor Damage said:


> Allen, that was a bit "sharp", as the Brits would say. I'll ask again, this time with a little less humour, are you channelling Harris? Take away your login name and the post above could never be attributed to you.


Doctor damage-
I am not a friend or foe or lackey of Allen however in my humble opinion your have gone to far with your insinuations and I would recommend to Allen not to respond to your thread. It is imperative to understand where Allen is coming from to fully comprehend his responses. Think before you act. 
Mcarthur


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## mpcsb (Jan 1, 2005)

Now might be a good time for everyone to take a break and relax. We all know it's hot, humid, and miserable - we don't need to make things worse by being nasty.


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## dpihl (Oct 2, 2005)

*Town and Country Esquire*

There's one thing I just don't understand.

We're talking about a Country Squire (lifestyles pastiche or not). How can we be considering an old Land Rover instead of an old Ford Country Squire?

Dad's old station wagon was a real work horse. Anything we couldn't do in the Ford was easily handled by brother John's '47 Willys Jeep.

We don't need no stinkin' Land Rover!

I've a neighbor who has restored an old Country Squire. I don't see it very often, but my heart skips a beat when I do. Too many childhood memories tied up in that vehicle...

Dad's was Navy Blue (with a metal flake). His second was kinda beige or champagne. The wood paneling on the sides was nowhere near as dramatic against a light beige background.


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## Doctor Damage (Feb 18, 2005)

mcarthur said:


> Doctor damage-
> I am not a friend or foe or lackey of Allen however in my humble opinion your have gone to far with your insinuations and I would recommend to Allen not to respond to your thread. It is imperative to understand where Allen is coming from to fully comprehend his responses. Think before you act.
> Mcarthur


A good point: I withdraw my second and third sentences from the post you reference, but not my first.


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## knickerbacker (Jun 27, 2005)

why exactly would you want to become a ford station wagon?


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## mendozar (Dec 13, 2005)

*I might have an Anglo bias, but...*

Barbour, Barbour, Barbour! And Hackett. And Holland & Holland. And Land Rovers that break down. For the slightly eccentric, F.M. Allen. Très T.R.


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## EU-Flaneur (Jul 30, 2005)

How to be a country squire?? To begin with a peerage is essential and an accompanying estate of at least a few thousand acres. Alternatively you may just become a loyal retainer to a Duke, Earl, or other high ranking peer and receive a pension or salary and tenancy on the estate. For a bourgeois and outside of the realms of Feudal law and the landed aristocracy the rank and status of country squire is impossible to achieve however "affected" and pretentious your style may be.


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## dpihl (Oct 2, 2005)

*See?*



EU-Flaneur said:


> How to be a country squire?? To begin with a peerage is essential and an accompanying estate of at least a few thousand acres. Alternatively you may just become a loyal retainer to a Duke, Earl, or other high ranking peer and receive a pension or salary and tenancy on the estate. For a bourgeois and outside of the realms of Feudal law and the landed aristocracy the rank and status of country squire is impossible to achieve however "affected" and pretentious your style may be.


There now, you see? I told you it was all about the pedigree.

So far I've found a couple dozen royals in my lines, and I'm just getting started.

You want me to find you some royalty, or is this all just a bunch of hooey anyway?


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## AlanC (Oct 28, 2003)

Perhaps you should go for 'laird' then.


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## Old Brompton (Jan 15, 2006)

Beresford said:


> Before my mother and her sister got married...


God knows I've seen my share of unorthodox domestic living arrangements, but that does sound a bit odd, I must say. I suppose you came in for quite a bit of ribbing about it at school, eh?

For aspiring country-squires, another accessory to keep in mind is an Eccentric Relative (ER), say, a weird brother or uncle. Think: William Boot and his clan holed up at Boot Magna. Not only does the ER give depth to social proceedings, but he (or she!) will also scare off intruders. Plus, the ER is a conversation piece. Of course you'll have to provide food and water, but the rewards can be considerable.


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## septa (Mar 4, 2006)

I hardly think a title is necessary to be a squire. Historically wasn't a squire part of the gentry, and therefore, de facto, without a title? Aren't squires the reason they invented Burke's Landed Gentry, because there were plenty of respectable people who were not eligable for Burke's Peerage? If the Squires Allworthy and Western had titles other than squire, wouldn't Fielding have had his characters refer to them as such? 
Allen, I also think you should become a notary public or justice of the peace. If there wasn't a war on I'd also recommend that you join the guard and have people call you by your rank. Which as a doctor, would probably soon be field grade, major or higher. Having a rank is very squirely. Especially for a southern man.


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## familyman (Sep 9, 2005)

Tack this onto your next Orvis order Allen. Tweed Topcoat. Nice.


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## Literide (Nov 11, 2004)

EU-Flaneur said:


> How to be a country squire?? To begin with a peerage is essential and an accompanying estate of at least a few thousand acres. Alternatively you may just become a loyal retainer to a Duke, Earl, or other high ranking peer and receive a pension or salary and tenancy on the estate. For a bourgeois and outside of the realms of Feudal law and the landed aristocracy the rank and status of country squire is impossible to achieve however "affected" and pretentious your style may be.


Scottish Baronys can still be bought but may not come with any actual land or fuedal tenure due to some quirks in the parliments so called "property reform"

Even before reform, you may have only gotten a right of way for a pole line, but WTF, its an income producing estate any way you look at it, just no room for a manor house.

Also, if you buy a big enough place in Scotland you automatically become the "Laird". Of course there is no equivelent in the US. A few decendants of colonial "Lords of the Manor" exist, some even still own much of the property, but have no feudal rights either, just tax problems and high overhead.

Cheers


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## EU-Flaneur (Jul 30, 2005)

septa said:


> I hardly think a title is necessary to be a squire. Historically wasn't a squire part of the gentry, and therefore, de facto, without a title? Aren't squires the reason they invented Burke's Landed Gentry, because there were plenty of respectable people who were not eligable for Burke's Peerage? If the Squires Allworthy and Western had titles other than squire, wouldn't Fielding have had his characters refer to them as such?
> Allen, I also think you should become a notary public or justice of the peace. If there wasn't a war on I'd also recommend that you join the guard and have people call you by your rank. Which as a doctor, would probably soon be field grade, major or higher. Having a rank is very squirely. Especially for a southern man.


You are right. A squire is not neccessarily a peer but is non the less a person of rank and status within a community and within a greater social hierarchy based on land ownership, tenure, and /or service.


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## septa (Mar 4, 2006)

EU-Flaneur said:


> You are right. A squire is not neccessarily a peer but is non the less a person of rank and status within a community and within a greater social hierarchy based on land ownership, tenure, and /or service.


True, and the only place in the US that ever had a social heirachy of that sort was The South. No peers, but certianly a social hierarchy based on landownership and tenure. However, I do grant you that without a titled aristocracy the notion of a squirearchy doesn't entirely make sense.


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## mcarthur (Jul 18, 2005)

*social heirachy*



septa said:


> True, and the only place in the US that ever had a social heirachy of that sort was The South. No peers, but certianly a social hierarchy based on landownership and tenure. However, I do grant you that without a titled aristocracy the notion of a squirearchy doesn't entirely make sense.


Septa-
Many places in this country the social heirachy was based on which side of the track you came from i.e. Mrs Astor 400 friends, the summer cottages in Newport


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## Sharkey (Mar 12, 2006)

*country squire-hood*

I would suggest you watch the Sherlock Holmes movie with Basil Rathbone called The House Of Fear (I think that is the one), where Sherlock goes to a mansion on the coast where seven retired elingshmen live to solve a series of murders. They all have the country squire thing going on, including getting out and about during the day and then dressing for dinner. 
I think you also have to have the husband and wife staff, preferably scottish, with the wife being the somewhat cranky but lovaeable cook and the husband being the somewhat cranky but loveable boozy caretaker. 
Eccentricity is important too, so people can point to you and say There goes the squire, still trying to develop a new breed of sheep, or Still trying to build frankensteins monster. 
Of course, in this day and age, people might think you are eccentric for adopting the squire lifestyle; there goes Dr. Allen, poor fella went bonkers, thinks he's an english squire here in Tennessee.


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## septa (Mar 4, 2006)

mcarthur said:


> Septa-
> Many places in this country the social heirachy was based on which side of the track you came from i.e. Mrs Astor 400 friends, the summer cottages in Newport


Real estate, of course, is an important social indicator, as is from whence you come. I simply meant that in the South, as in much of Europe, wealth was often derived from land, specifically agriculture, rather than commerce, banking or control of a natural resources, as was often, though not always, the case in the American Northeast.


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## paper clip (May 15, 2006)

This thread should be stickied. It is one of the best recent threads. Many laugh out loud posts. Keep up the good work, eh what?


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## Good Old Sledge (Jun 13, 2006)

Lot of fine suggestions here not to be overlooked. Barbour galore, Hunter wellies, tweed, shooting dogs, English side-by-side shotguns, walking sticks and a cellar-full of Port. The Chinese fighting ducks are also a capital suggestion.
The garaged convertable must be replaced with something a bit more elegant - if aging. The mid to late 90s Jaguar XJ6 has a bullet-proof engine and dresses up quite well. And the boot is large enough to stock the entire hunt breakfast. The Landrover is a truck. A gentleman doesn't drive a truck. He hires people who drive trucks.
Summer wear is something like weekend wear - sturdy walking brogues, not too light woolen trousers and tattersal shirts. Perhaps a waistcoat. Remember that nothing (especially tweeds and checks) must match particularly but that each individual piece of clothing must be of the highest quality (again, even if a bit aged).
Rather than continue in specifics, let me suggest some reading/viewing. The All Creatures Great and Small series recommended above is very good, as would be To The Manner Born - a PBS series with Peter Bowles as an American (!) learning the ropes of the country squire. Reading or watching "The Irish RM" will re-enforce your conviction to take this path. Also, for American interpretation, read Gordon Grand's stuff - Col Weatherford and His Friends or The Silver Horn; there are several and all offer insight to foxhunting as well as the role of the Gentleman in the country. PG Wodehouse will teach you how to talk, David Grey's "Gallops" books will give some insight into horsemanship as religeon and HH Munroe (Saki) will put you in the mood in general.
When you need a horse (and you will - probably several), do call me.


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## Lucky Strike (Feb 23, 2006)

You're not really a modern day country squire until you have to sell the house to some sort of historical trust, which leaves you the right to use it for your lifetime, in the summers, and the trust then opens the gardens to public sightseeings and Sunday interior guided tours. Your part of the deal is to be quaint and old-worldly in the background.


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## Lucky Strike (Feb 23, 2006)

And one of these might help:


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## Tom Bell-Drier (Mar 1, 2006)

Lucky Strike said:


> And one of these might help:


come now, hardly the attire of a country gentleman, no tweed,no moleskin,no cordouroy, and the whole thing is likely to rust in inclement weather.

I also hardly think the shoes are goodyear welted .(although I conceed I may be mistaken on this point)


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## Coolidge24 (Mar 21, 2005)

Much more appropriate for the trad forum would be buying, rather than becoming, a Country Squire.

As in the Ford. Faux-wood panels preferred.

A 1984, made just before the last "big car" (SUVs are trucks) boom of the 1980s (that this coincided with the OPH Ivy League revival is, I think, not at all a coincidence)

https://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e179/rbach1/1984_Ford_Country_Squire.jpg


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## rojo (Apr 29, 2004)

Never been or aspired to be a Country Squire. Not sure it's possible in the U.S.A. Although as a child in the 1970s I was driven around in one, made by Ford, with faux wood side panels. I think ours was probably a model year 1969 or 1970?


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## Joe Tradly (Jan 21, 2006)

Coolidge24 said:


> Much more appropriate for the trad forum would be buying, rather than becoming, a Country Squire.
> 
> As in the Ford. Faux-wood panels preferred.
> 
> ...


Wow...Cooly, that picture just brought back a flood of memories. Used to be driven to the beach in on of those gems, belonged to neighbors across the street. By this day in August, the thing would be FULL of sand. I vividly remember climbing into the thing after it had been baking in the sun all day (of course, long before air conditioning).

JB


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## Coolidge24 (Mar 21, 2005)

My first car was the '87 sedan version (LTD Crown Victoria). Cerulean colored. Radio only, actually did have a/c but it was still optional at the time. Chrome crank windows. Full bench seat. 

When I was very little in the 80s most moms still had woody wagons like the Squire. (My mom was progressive and drove a Civic) Also memories of some mom's big red Pontiac Safari wagon and the grey/faux wood Mercury Colony Park my best friend in elementary's mom drove.

Somehow I think soccer moms wouldn't have such a pejorative rep if they still drove woodies, not minivans.


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## Joe Tradly (Jan 21, 2006)

Coolidge24 said:


> My first car was the '87 sedan version (LTD Crown Victoria). Cerulean colored. Radio only, actually did have a/c but it was still optional at the time. Chrome crank windows. Full bench seat.
> 
> When I was very little in the 80s most moms still had woody wagons like the Squire. (My mom was progressive and drove a Civic) Also memories of some mom's big red Pontiac Safari wagon and the grey/faux wood Mercury Colony Park my best friend in elementary's mom drove.
> 
> Somehow I think soccer moms wouldn't have such a pejorative rep if they still drove woodies, not minivans.


Right-o. One model had a folding rear-view bench in the way back if I recall correctly?

JB


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## Coolidge24 (Mar 21, 2005)

Yeah, all of em (GM and Ford) did, I think. The big ones with V8s, anyway. It was optional, I believe, at least on the Ford...the Olds brochure from '81 has a good demo




(some Swedish fellow has put together this huge site on American cars, online renderings of brochures and pictures galore)

The ones from the 80s were also the last to offer the vent windows in front of the side view mirrors...would be great to have those on the highway today.

In that synthetic fiber era, one wonders what the trad would choose for his upholstery...the Olds lists all-vinyl, vinyl-cloth, or "at no extra charge" VELOUR. oh boy.

I think I'd be a vinyl-cloth man from that set.

Clearly great cars though, still all over the place.


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## rojo (Apr 29, 2004)

Ours must have been a 1969 model because it looked almost exactly like this one:

https://www.aswoa.com/69_wagon_5-15-06.jpg

My mother used to call those little vent windows in the front the "wing windows." I suppose that was the official name for them and not something she made up?

Edit: the door on the back of the car could either swing open like the other doors or fold down like the tailgate on a pickup truck. When I was six years old, that was more mysterious to me than how they put men on the moon.


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

Coolidge24 said:


> Much more appropriate for the trad forum would be buying, rather than becoming, a Country Squire.
> 
> As in the Ford. Faux-wood panels preferred.
> 
> ...


Some may find a man wearing a tweed hacking jacket who likes to shoot over a hound with a vintage side by side remarkable. That same man wearing Newport blue trousers and a bow tie driving a wood paneled country squire...would be construed as kooky. My fortitude is just not that strong.

Allen


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## JDDY (Mar 18, 2006)

Coolidge24 said:


> Much more appropriate for the trad forum would be buying, rather than becoming, a Country Squire.
> 
> As in the Ford. Faux-wood panels preferred.
> 
> ...


Sweet ride. Wish they made a big square wagon like that now; would make a great surf-mobile.


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## Mad4Madras (Jul 24, 2006)

We didn't have one, but they were otherwise ubiquitous in our neighborhood. Wagons were particularly useful for carpooling (before the days when even grammar school children required a special booster seat). We would literally pile into the car like some sort of college prank.

I always referred to the reversed rear seat as the "tail gunner position".


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

I thought of this thread on my way to the office this morning. I passed a dry cleaning business named, and I am not making this up......Country Squire Cleaners. That gave me a good laugh. :icon_smile_big:


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## mcarthur (Jul 18, 2005)

LX-
Keep your eyes on the road!
Mcarthur


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## Coolidge24 (Mar 21, 2005)

Allen said:


> Some may find a man wearing a tweed hacking jacket who likes to shoot over a hound with a vintage side by side remarkable. That same man wearing Newport blue trousers and a bow tie driving a wood paneled country squire...would be construed as kooky. My fortitude is just not that strong.
> 
> Allen


"kooky" perhaps, but as a departed forum veteran once said "they may laugh at your funny pants [and your woody wagon, no doubt], but you and your friends will be having the last laugh"

It can take time to warm up to a Country Squire


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## anglophile (Jul 7, 2006)

I was just digging through the archive today and stumbled across this thread (I normally lurk in the fashion forum). I consider myself a bit of a "Country Squire" myself; all tweed, shotguns, big dogs and Landrovers and all.

While I am all for much of what has been said, I am uncomfortable with the notion that a "Country Squire" should go about the countryside heavily armed and ready to kill anything small and furry he comes across. I love shooting, but the desire to kill stuff does not a country gentleman make. I much prefer the idea that you should raise something just for the sheer joy of it. Get yourself a big dog or two, but instead of preaching about hunter's rights and the like, get a brace of greyhounds and get involved with the rescue programs. I'm certain that the local branch of GPA (Greyhound Pets of America) would be thrilled if you offered to board or foster a couple of their dogs while they find homes for them. If you decide its not for you, they will take them back, no questions asked. Its a win-win. You get to look great, tweed suit and all, walking a couple of cool dogs around and they get the help they need.

In the evening after your constitutional, you can don your smoking jacket, sit back in your big leather wing-back chair, pour yourself a large glass of whiskey and read a great novel while your two greyhounds bask in front of the roaring fire. 

Now that's the life for a country squire.


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## dpihl (Oct 2, 2005)

*An idea*

https://www.overstock.com/cgi-bin/d2.cgi?PAGE=PRODUCT&PROD_ID=75716&cid=48709&fp=F

*The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain



*Many costumes in this film beg for scrutiny by members of this forum who have enjoyed this thread. Mr. Grant's Norfolk is wonderful. The "motoring costume" is also really fun.

...Been meaning to purchase a copy of Andrew Lane's book "Motoring Costume" for years.​


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## Spooter (Jul 15, 2006)

Allen said:


> I live in a century old two story red brick colonial. You could describe it as an old farm house, but where is the romance in that? In fact I choose to describe the place as a country estate, complete with carriage house, barns and outbuildings.
> I believe the old house is alive and has a soul, I'm sensitive like that. Lately she has requested that I begin to affect the persona and appearance of a country squire. I like the idea, but do not know where to begin. The fall and winter wardrobe should be easy enough--spring and summer probably a little more difficult.
> 
> Any tips for an aspiring modern day country squire?
> ...


Well the trick to being a squire is not to have to work for a living. Do you qualify?


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

Spooter said:


> Well the trick to being a squire is not to have to work for a living. Do you qualify?


Ahh, I beg to differ my friend. A proper country squire is by nature productive and also benevolent. While circumstance may not dictate that they work, their nature demands that they work, or perhaps it would be more accurate to observe, they choose to stay active and involved. Since they may have somewhat more choice in what they do, their avocation may indeed become their vocation!


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## knickerbacker (Jun 27, 2005)

Clovis said:


> Septa's advice is a very good start. If you don't ride, you must start immediately. Your goal should be to be going over fences and cubbing (for fox) within two years. Once you start hunting (fox) on a regular basis, your transformation into the rural-gothic will become inevitable and you will soon find yourself irreversibly immersed in the lifestyle that is currently beckoning to you. But be prepared to leave much of your old world behind.


When going over fences remember to look where you want to go and to avoid point fixating on the fence or some other hazard or you surely will be "buying some real estate". Find a real hunt, not a drag operation. A good hunt can make a steeplechase seem like a completely choreographed affair- a hunt can be far more challenging and fraught with a bit of chaos and danger at times. A sport I truly miss.
Release the Hounds.


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## knickerbacker (Jun 27, 2005)

Coolidge24 said:


> Much more appropriate for the trad forum would be buying, rather than becoming, a Country Squire.
> 
> As in the Ford. Faux-wood panels preferred.
> 
> ...


The first car I wrecked was a 1967 Country Squire- at the age of 2 & 1/2. My mother left me in the car on the top of a hill at our old home in CT. with the car running. As she left the car she chided me not to do anything while she was gone. This request put the idea in my devious little mind and I asked "like what?" and she said "don't do this" while demonstrating how the automatic shifter on the column worked. Bad idea. 30 seconds after leaving, I shifted the car into reverse and as it barreled backwards down the hill, I started laughing, which is what my brother heard when playing next to a stone wall. He jumped out of the way just before the car smashed into the (300 year old) wall. I went flying over the driver's, passenger, and rumble seat and out the open tailgate window and landed safely clear of the rubble, laughing. When mom came running down the hill; crocodile tears.
The Country Squire that replaced it was used by my brothers as a most dangerous conveyance: one would drive, the other would hang on the roof rack. I doubt they were sober. As a parent of a 1.5 year old, and the son of wonderful, well behaved people all I hope is that the demon child gene is a recessive trait and has skipped a generation.


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## Spooter (Jul 15, 2006)

eagle2250 said:


> Ahh, I beg to differ my friend. A proper country squire is by nature productive and also benevolent. While circumstance may not dictate that they work, their nature demands that they work, or perhaps it would be more accurate to observe, they choose to stay active and involved. Since they may have somewhat more choice in what they do, their avocation may indeed become their vocation!


Allow me to differ in turn,

Yes, I think it would be more accurate to observe that they "choose to stay active and involved". But then my original post didn't imply otherwise. Think about the phrase "to work for a living". Esp. the "living" part. I assume that Allen is a doctor of medicine. (maybe he is not -- maybe he's a vet, or an OD, or a pscyhologist, or something else entirely). Within the realm of the squire can you think of anything more "middle class" and "respectable" than a doctor? It's a profession. And every self-respecting squire eschews the professions, though he mightn't object to sending his younger sons into them, including the military, clergy, law, and so forth.


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## dpihl (Oct 2, 2005)

*Stale, rumble seat french fries (and the smell of fishing tackle)*

I think our first Ford Country Squire was probably a 69 or 70. Not much different from the one in the photo however. Mom always called the back seats "rumble seats", but we hardly ever used them.

My older brother and I were sitting alone in the car, and John decided to play with the automatic gear shifter. We began rolling backwards, and the Mailman noticed that there wasn't an adult driving the car (or anywhere close by).

He leapt over the old stone retaining wall that ran alongside our driveway, and looked for an open window. Just in the nick of time, he flung open the driver's side door, and jumped in with us. He grabbed the gear shifter just in timem, and saved us from potential dissaster.

We sold that car in the late 1970's, and replaced it with a newer model Country Squire. Power windows, power locks, seat belts for everybody, and an eight track tape player in the console.

We drove that car on many family trips, and then one day it was broadsided while parked in front of our home.

Mother later confided in us that our Dad cried when he emptied out the glove box (prior to handing the keys to the tow truck driver from the wrecking yard).

I can imagine the glove box was probably full of AAA maps from all the trips we took, and probably other memory triggers to boot.


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## Trilby (Aug 11, 2004)

knickerbacker said:


> When going over fences remember to look where you want to go and to avoid point fixating on the fence or some other hazard or you surely will be "buying some real estate". Find a real hunt, not a drag operation. A good hunt can make a steeplechase seem like a completely choreographed affair- a hunt can be far more challenging and fraught with a bit of chaos and danger at times. A sport I truly miss.
> Release the Hounds.


In the UK, drag hunting is all you are allowed to do now.

By the way, this is a rather odd thread.


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## AmericanBaron (Sep 17, 2006)

By the way, this is a rather odd thread.[/quote]

Odd it may be, but it just oozes fun!


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## A.Squire (Apr 5, 2006)

^ 
And thus began the appearance of AmericanBaron. Welcome to the fun, sir.

Allen


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## Thomas (Jan 30, 2006)

Maybe something like this......


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## dpihl (Oct 2, 2005)

*Must Have Movie for your collection.*

...Just now watching a recent adaptation of the Hound of the Baskervilles (with Richard Roxberg playing the part of Holmes). Intersections with the things discussed on this thread are everywhere in that film.

The missing boot.

The Norfolk Jacket worn by Dr. Watson.

"You've done a lot of shopping!"
"Well, if I'm going to become a country squire, I might as well look the part".

"Do you like this weskit? Perhaps I should have gone with the double breasted, or the yellow?"
"Why not wear all three? It would be warmer."

Perhaps a tweed Inverness cape would be a good idea Allen!

Just remember, every episode of Scooby Doo was an Americanized version of the hound of the baskervilles.

If you want to be a country squire, Allen, you'll have to deal with eople who want to scare you away from the lands of your inheritance.


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## Fogey (Aug 27, 2005)

To be a country squire: choose the right grandparents.


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## dpihl (Oct 2, 2005)

*Yesssss!*



JLPWCXIII said:


> To be a country squire: choose the right grandparents.


Ha ha! It worked!!!!

I saw you were back online last night, and tried to think of a way to bring this thread to your attention.

It's good to have you back, old boy.


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## fenway (May 2, 2006)

Got wood?































https://www.copleymotorcars.com/sports_n_classics5_45.4vo1010.html


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## Mad4Madras (Jul 24, 2006)

*Good Grief*

An H3 Country Squire...


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## GMC (Nov 8, 2006)

*"I wouldn't know about that, sir ..."*

"Only" weekend help plus the weekly cleaner? You probably need to hire at least a footman.

For a funny look at the country squire, strongly suggest you try to lay hands on video of a hilarious British sketch-comedy show from 90s called "The Fast Show." Look for the "Ted" sketches.


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