# That's it, I'm doomed.



## JJR512 (May 18, 2010)

A Chinese restaurant didn't include a fortune cookie with my take-out order.

Well, it's been nice knowin' y'all...


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## ZachGranstrom (Mar 11, 2010)

Well, just in case you die.... Can I have your stuff?


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

Can you believe I actually went to one (once) that charged for them??

Why are they called fortune cookies anyway??

Most the time they just offer lame advice.

Fortune cookie~"You will come into money soon"

Advice cookie~"Buy low, sell high!!"


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## ajo (Oct 22, 2007)

Ha, buy takeout Chinese in Oz no get fourturne cookie, just prawn cracker!


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

JJR512 said:


> A Chinese restaurant didn't include a fortune cookie with my take-out order.
> 
> Well, it's been nice knowin' y'all...


take em' to court!


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

If a Judge can sue a laundry for pressing his pants, imagine what the no fortune cookie scandal can rake in!!

I'm still working the false labling angle on the "fortune" cookie scam myself.

Contact the law offices of WouldaShoulda LLC at 1-888-for-tune for a free consultation.


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## Good Morning Sir! (Nov 15, 2010)

A woman is following you.

AH STALKER.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

WouldaShoulda said:


> If a Judge can sue a laundry for pressing his pants, imagine what the no fortune cookie scandal can rake in!!
> 
> I'm still working the false labling angle on the "fortune" cookie scam myself.
> 
> Contact the law offices of WouldaShoulda LLC at 1-888-for-tune for a free consultation.


How much is the fee?


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## jsteele (Nov 27, 2009)

Good Morning Sir! said:


> A woman is following you.
> 
> AH STALKER.


"in bed"


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## Andy (Aug 25, 2002)

JJR512 said:


> A Chinese restaurant didn't include a fortune cookie with my take-out order.
> 
> Well, it's been nice knowin' y'all...


JJR512:

Since the "Chinese" Fortune cookie was invented here in Los Angles, I think you're going to be OK! I predict a long and healty life full of prosperity and full closets!


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## Karl89 (Feb 20, 2005)

JJR512 said:


> A Chinese restaurant didn't include a fortune cookie with my take-out order.
> 
> Well, it's been nice knowin' y'all...


You really felt the need to post this?


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## JJR512 (May 18, 2010)

Karl89 said:


> You really felt the need to post this?


You really felt the need to post that?


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## Karl89 (Feb 20, 2005)

JJR512 said:


> You really felt the need to post that?


I did, bc I am interested in the though process behind the post. Did you say to yourself, "I didn't receive a fortune cookie with my order, this merits a thread on Ask Andy!"

This "event" wasn't exactly ground breaking, you weren't asking advice or soliciting opinions and this event hardly merits analysis. So what prompted you to post it - did you Twitter this news and update your Facebook status as well or was Ask Andy the only venue for this breaking news? Would have you posted something similar if your hamburger order was without ketchup packets or should we only look forward to such posts when your Chinese food order is missing something?

Your attempt at light hearted humor makes The Famly Circus look cutting edge. Of course your signature block (save the bit about the Scots) is even worse but I have no doubt you are quite pleased with your comedic efforts.


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## JJR512 (May 18, 2010)

Karl89 said:


> I did, bc I am interested in the though process behind the post. Did you say to yourself, "I didn't receive a fortune cookie with my order, this merits a thread on Ask Andy!"
> 
> This "event" wasn't exactly ground breaking, you weren't asking advice or soliciting opinions and this event hardly merits analysis. So what prompted you to post it - did you Twitter this news and update your Facebook status as well or was Ask Andy the only venue for this breaking news? Would have you posted something similar if your hamburger order was without ketchup packets or should we only look forward to such posts when your Chinese food order is missing something?
> 
> Your attempt at light hearted humor makes The Famly Circus look cutting edge. Of course your signature block (save the bit about the Scots) is even worse but I have no doubt you are quite pleased with your comedic efforts.


I do not have a Twitter account. I have no plans to ever start one. I did mention this event on Facebook, where the replies had an amusing or mock-serious tone similar to the ones here-up until your thread crapper, that is. This message board is the only one on which I currently participate on a regular basis that has a forum specifically for general-purpose or "off topic" conversation.

Your attempted analogy to ketchup packets is just plain stupid.

My signature (save the bit about the Scots) is not an attempt at humor. It is a veiled reference to an important number to me personally, as well as to the initials of my children. It is also a bit of mild self-deprecation.

Speaking of humility, you could really benefit by developing some of your own. You couldn't find anything else intelligent to say in the other thread-not that you ever had anything intelligent to say in that thread in the first place, mind-and resorted to substance-free insults, and now you've let your childish need for revenge spill over into another thread. We all see you for what you are, and if you really want to try analyzing something, why don't you focus your scrutiny in the mirror.

And when you're done with that, learn how to spell "thought", then go read up on em dashes.

Finally, if you have feel that anything I post here is inappropriate or irrelevant to this website, the intelligent thing to do (the fact that I have to explain this really says a lot) would be to complain to the administration about it. Other than that, shut the hell up and **** off.


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## ZachGranstrom (Mar 11, 2010)

Fight,Fight,Fight,Fight.......oh!Sorry.


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## Karl89 (Feb 20, 2005)

JJR512 said:


> I do not have a Twitter account. I have no plans to ever start one. I did mention this event on Facebook, where the replies had an amusing or mock-serious tone similar to the ones here-up until your thread crapper, that is. This message board is the only one on which I currently participate on a regular basis that has a forum specifically for general-purpose or "off topic" conversation.
> 
> Your attempted analogy to ketchup packets is just plain stupid.
> 
> ...


I guess that bit of mild self-deprecation you mention isn't working. And this post is brought to you by the letters F and U.


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## JJR512 (May 18, 2010)

Karl89 said:


> I guess that bit of mild self-deprecation you mention isn't working. And this post is brought to you by the letters F and U.


Oh, are those the initials of your children? Let me guess, you named them after your life. One is named "F***ed" and the other one is named "Up".


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## Karl89 (Feb 20, 2005)

JJR512 said:


> Oh, are those the initials of your children? Let me guess, you named them after your life. One is named "F***ed" and the other one is named "Up".


Really?


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## MikeDT (Aug 22, 2009)

Andy said:


> JJR512:
> 
> *Since the "Chinese" Fortune cookie was invented here in Los Angles,* I think you're going to be OK! I predict a long and healty life full of prosperity and full closets!


I was wondering why Chinese restaurants in China never give out fortune cookies.

Although this Chinese restaurant in Beijing gives away toys sometimes.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

MikeDT said:


> I was wondering why Chinese restaurants in China never give out fortune cookies.
> 
> Although this Chinese restaurant in Beijing gives away toys sometimes.


What kind of toys?


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## Country Irish (Nov 10, 2005)

Howard said:


> What kind of toys?


I think you have a choice of condoms or slightly used dog collars.

I was thinking about this and realised the true impact of a Fortune Cookie deprived dinner. It could rock the entire socio economic system to have the consumer be disappointed after their Kung Pao dinners. I think Lindsey Graham hangs out here so why not petition him to make it a law that every Chinese dinner must have a fortune cookie and that one out of every twenty suprise the recipient with a free tea bag. Make it mandatory in China also by establishing a blockade on their goods if they do not cave in. Oh, wait that was the idea i was saving for free Chinese finger cuffs in Happy Meals. Never mind. Lindsey needs to concentrate on an arguement on the validity of SC voting machines anyway.
Uh what was the subject again?


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## MikeDT (Aug 22, 2009)

Country Irish said:


> I think you have a choice of condoms or slightly used dog collars.


Yes, it's spicy chicken flavoured condoms.


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## JerseyJohn (Oct 26, 2007)

I used to eat lunch at a Chinese restaurant pretty regularly. When I got the fortune cookie, I'd go next door and play the lottery number on the back. I never won. Not once. It may be a cookie ... but fortune? As we say here in Joisey, "f'gedaboudit!"


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## ajo (Oct 22, 2007)

MikeDT said:


> Yes, it's spicy chicken flavoured condoms.


I went out briefly with a girl who had a thing for glow in the dark condoms.:crazy:


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## ZachGranstrom (Mar 11, 2010)

ajo said:


> I went out briefly with a girl who had a thing for glow in the dark condoms.:crazy:


(insert lame Star Wars joke here)


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

ZachGranstrom said:


> (insert lame Star Wars joke here)


 https://www.gametrailers.com/user-movie/watchmen-game-leaked-footage/312613

(Warning: NSFW)


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## reddy (Dec 1, 2010)

JerseyJohn said:


> I used to eat lunch at a Chinese restaurant pretty regularly. When I got the fortune cookie, I'd go next door and play the lottery number on the back. I never won. Not once. It may be a cookie ... but fortune? As we say here in Joisey, "f'gedaboudit!"


haha,funny


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## ZachGranstrom (Mar 11, 2010)

Jovan said:


> https://www.gametrailers.com/user-movie/watchmen-game-leaked-footage/312613
> 
> (Warning: NSFW)


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Country Irish said:


> I think you have a choice of condoms or slightly used dog collars.
> 
> I was thinking about this and realised the true impact of a Fortune Cookie deprived dinner. It could rock the entire socio economic system to have the consumer be disappointed after their Kung Pao dinners. I think Lindsey Graham hangs out here so why not petition him to make it a law that every Chinese dinner must have a fortune cookie and that one out of every twenty suprise the recipient with a free tea bag. Make it mandatory in China also by establishing a blockade on their goods if they do not cave in. Oh, wait that was the idea i was saving for free Chinese finger cuffs in Happy Meals. Never mind. Lindsey needs to concentrate on an arguement on the validity of SC voting machines anyway.
> Uh what was the subject again?


I'll choose the condoms,I have no use for dog collars.


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

ZachGranstrom said:


>


 And probably the most immature thing I'll ever post here.


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## MichaelS (Nov 14, 2005)

JJR512 said:


> I do not have a Twitter account. I have no plans to ever start one. I did mention this event on Facebook, where the replies had an amusing or mock-serious tone similar to the ones here-up until your thread crapper, that is. This message board is the only one on which I currently participate on a regular basis that has a forum specifically for general-purpose or "off topic" conversation.
> 
> Your attempted analogy to ketchup packets is just plain stupid.
> 
> ...


Wow, how bizarre, someone complaining about a humorous post on "The Interchange".

(I guess I'm just an ignorant member of the proletariat and don't really understand that the interchange is meant solely to be a place of erudite discussion and discourse on important topics such as world politics, the effect of the wiki-leaks posts on our national security, and the importance of fashion in regards to our role in the middle east.)

By the way, you won't get fortune cookies in China either!

Where did you get the quote on the Scots? I love it.


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## JJR512 (May 18, 2010)

MichaelS said:


> Wow, how bizarre, someone complaining about a humorous post on "The Interchange".
> 
> (I guess I'm just an ignorant member of the proletariat and don't really understand that the interchange is meant solely to be a place of erudite discussion and discourse on important topics such as world politics, the effect of the wiki-leaks posts on our national security, and the importance of fashion in regards to our role in the middle east.)
> 
> ...


That was said by Inspector Raymond Fowler, a character on a BBC series from about 1995-1996 called _The Thin Blue Line_, played by Rowan Atkinson.


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## Karl89 (Feb 20, 2005)

MichaelS said:


> Wow, how bizarre, someone complaining about a humorous post on "The Interchange".
> 
> (I guess I'm just an ignorant member of the proletariat and don't really understand that the interchange is meant solely to be a place of erudite discussion and discourse on important topics such as world politics, the effect of the wiki-leaks posts on our national security, and the importance of fashion in regards to our role in the middle east.)
> 
> ...


Does someone find the fact that JJR512 didn't get a fortune cookie actually humorous? If so it doesn't augur well for the Interchange as a source of future comedy save of course for the postings of the DPRK apologists.


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## MikeDT (Aug 22, 2009)

MichaelS said:


> By the way, you won't get fortune cookies in China either!


True.

Food poisoning: yes
Fortune cookies: no

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_safety_incidents_in_the_People's_Republic_of_China


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## ZachGranstrom (Mar 11, 2010)

MikeDT said:


> True.
> 
> Food poisoning: yes
> Fortune cookies: no
> ...


Mmm! Mmm! Good....


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## JJR512 (May 18, 2010)

Karl89 said:


> Does someone find the fact that JJR512 didn't get a fortune cookie actually humorous? If so it doesn't augur well for the Interchange as a source of future comedy save of course for the postings of the DPRK apologists.


The fact that I didn't get a fortune cookie isn't supposed to be humorous.

If nobody cared at all, why are there 35 posts in this thread?

If you don't like what I post, fine. Don't reply to it. That's the intelligent thing to do, and it's really no surprise to me that I have to explain to you what the intelligent thing to do is. What do you expect, after all? Do you really think that I'm going to change my posting habits just because YOU don't like what I post? You don't like it, fine, MOVE ON. Go find some other thread to which you can actually make a worthwhile contribution, and stop crapping in the ones you can't.


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

Karl89 said:


> Does someone find the fact that JJR512 didn't get a fortune cookie actually humorous? If so it doesn't augur well for the Interchange as a source of future comedy save of course for the postings of the DPRK apologists.


 So far, all your posts in this thread can be summarised thus:

"Wahhh, wahhh, wahhh."


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