# The Anti-Handshaking Society



## Fogey (Aug 27, 2005)

The Anti-Handshaking Society​I think I shall start this society. Anyone care to join?


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## Andy (Aug 25, 2002)

JLPWCXIII:

Interesting a couple of features (on TV probably) recently -- Howie Mandel doesn't shake hands. Another item about a new mother who always loved to pick up, cuddle, etc. other's babies doesn't want anyone touching her new child (rightfully so!).

In Thailand (on our recent visit) everyone places their own hands palms together (prayer-like) and bows to the other. Very nice and civilized.

Andy


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## AlanC (Oct 28, 2003)

Carry Purell. In my line I shake _lots_ of hands.


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## Badrabbit (Nov 18, 2004)

> quote:_Originally posted by Andy_
> 
> JLPWCXIII:
> 
> ...


Andy,

Howie Mandel doesn't shake hands because he has a massive amount of mental disorders. He has severe neuroses and is about one phobia away from the loony bin.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Women thrive on novelty and are easy meat for the commerce of fashion. Men prefer old pipes and torn jackets. 
Anthony Burgess


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## DougNZ (Aug 31, 2005)

While I agree that there is something very dignified about bowing, I also quite like the 'manliness' of shaking hands.

We are repeatedly told that most viruses, bacteria and other such nasties are transfered manually, but I'm not so sure bowing is the answer. The chances are you will avoid my bugs by bowing to me but will pick up those of countless others as you turn away and open the door.

Now bowing AND wearing gloves may just be the answer. Perhaps one could add a top hat and cane? What about lengthening one's coats a little, say, to the backs of one's knees? Ties only fall into one's tea, so maybe a waistcoat would hold then nicely in place. At night, a white bowtie would save soup-stained tie tips and a suitably high collar would sit the bowtie up nicely.

I think I'm breaking new ground here ...


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## Briguy (Aug 29, 2005)

Second AlanC's use of hand santizer. I always have some with me and use it often. Since I started doing this, the number of cold's I get each year has dropped from three or so per year to about one per year.


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## Étienne (Sep 3, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by JLPWCXIII_
> I think I shall start this society. Anyone care to join?


I could join. I much prefer the French habit of cheek-kissing women anyway.


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## ChubbyTiger (Mar 10, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Ã‰tienne_
> 
> 
> 
> ...


With the Italian half the family, it's kisses all around. With the guys, it's usually cheek kisses while shaking hands and a quick pat on the back. Very complicated.

Anyway, you can tell a lot about a person by their handshake, I think. I don't know if a bow conveys the same amount of information. And I'm a big believer of keeping traditions, even if they don't matter at all anymore (see, I'm unarmed and I trust you not to stab me while I get this close to you). 

CT


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## Doctor Damage (Feb 18, 2005)

Never liked handshaking much; my hands are thin and weak so I always get those jerks who squeeze your hand until the bones and cartilage start giving...mind you, to stab someone in the back it is first necessary to get behind them (Thank you, Sir Humphrey). Being from out in the country -- although the city has moved out to us -- I am not used to shaking hands anyway, except at public meetings. Farmers tend to just touch their cap or whatever, since their hands are usually covered in sh*t anyway. City people and unctious insurance agents shake hands!

Also, in the country, one generally runs into the neighbours on their own property, not public places, so there is a certain physical distance one must keep, otherwise it could be perceived as a threat.

Anyway, once that bird flu thing gets rolling (this spring, money down) then people will be a lot less interested in touching each other.

DocD


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## jbmcb (Sep 7, 2005)

It's easy: when I'm sick I don't shake hands with people, explaining to them that I am sick. 
If I shake hands with someone, then find out that they are sick, I promptly wash my hands. 


Good/Fast/Cheap - Pick Two


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## Relayer (Nov 9, 2005)

I'm happy to shake hands with people (and do so at least several times a day, generally), yet I very rarely suffer from illnes. I wash my hands regularly, but this is more for simple cleanliness' sake rather than health concerns.

The benefits of shaking hands are many, it seems to me.


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## globetrotter (Dec 30, 2004)

I shake hands, I carry hand sanitizer. works for me.


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## Andy (Aug 25, 2002)

> quote:_Originally posted by Badrabbit_
> Andy,
> Howie Mandel doesn't shake hands because he has a massive amount of mental disorders. He has severe neuroses and is about one phobia away from the loony bin.


Badrabbit:

That explains why he now has his own TV show after all these years!

Andy


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## visionology (Sep 28, 2005)

I prefer to do the jumping chest bump to all my friends.


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## Coolidge24 (Mar 21, 2005)

I'll give a Howardian response and say

I like shaking hands with people. But I will wash my hands later.


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## guitone (Mar 20, 2005)

I have the large size in the car....I call on veterinarians and every owner that comes in things there dog should molest you as you enter the door. Also, you never know where that doctors hand was before shaking it...but mainly I keep it there for after I pump gas to get the gas smell off of my hand.

I do find that so many people are really lacking knowledge about washing their hands before inflicting it on others. My favorite are the guys that go the the rest room and don't want to touch anything, including the water faucet. BTW, ever notice all of the bunched up paper towels at the door of a men's rest room...we have become germiphobic (sp?), and maybe with good reason.



> quote:_Originally posted by AlanC_
> 
> Carry Purell. In my line I shake _lots_ of hands.


guit


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

In the bathroom, the exit door is the worst place to touch. A lot of guys don't wash their hands after urinating (or worse).


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## rtaylor61 (Jul 25, 2005)

In my line of work, shaking hands is almost always required. If I have a cold, or, if I prefer not to shake hands with a new client for any reason, I will beg off, saying that I have a cold and don't wish to share.

Randy

"I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them." J. B. Books


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## undarted (Jul 5, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by forsbergacct2000_
> 
> In the bathroom, the exit door is the worst place to touch. A lot of guys don't wash their hands after urinating (or worse).


If you're alone in the bathroom:

A great technique revealed by the protagonist in the film Aviator - wait by the door until somebody opens it.

If you have company, well not 'company', you know what I mean, in the bathroom:

Simply take your time, make sure somebody opens the door first.

Just kidding. You people are crazy.

Sane people use their feet to turn and pull the knob.


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## KenR (Jun 22, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by visionology_
> 
> I prefer to do the jumping chest bump to all my friends.


Females too? []


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## Doctor Damage (Feb 18, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by forsbergacct2000_
> 
> In the bathroom, the exit door is the worst place to touch. A lot of guys don't wash their hands after urinating (or worse).


I particularly hate bars where they clean the washroom once or twice a week, if it needs it or not! [xx(]

Generally, I just use a kleenex or paper towel to open the door. Anal? Yes, but I enjoy BBQ wings and I don't want to consume other people's pee residues when food handling.

DocD


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## 16128 (Feb 8, 2005)

I'm a frequent handwasher, and I don't get sick often, but I don't see a reason to be hyperparanoid about germs.

Unless Captain Trips or bird flu or SARS makes an appearance and people start walking around in gas masks, shaking hands (or using a colleague's telephone or touching the handrail on a steep staircase) is not going to kill you unless you have the immune system of a the bubble boy out on a field trip.

*"Buy the best, and you will only cry once." - Chinese proverb*


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## tck13 (Nov 4, 2005)

I'm in.

I like the whole hands together and bow.

Namaste!


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## Fogey (Aug 27, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by VS_
> 
> I'm a frequent handwasher, and I don't get sick often, but I don't see a reason to be hyperparanoid about germs.
> 
> ...


 You actually touch public handrails and such without gloves? [xx(]


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## Harry96 (Aug 3, 2005)

Larry David has suggested replacing the handshake with a forearm shake, where you wrap your hand around each other's forearms, just below the elbows, then shake. It's a warmer greeting and seems a lot more sanitary. I like it.


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## Albert (Feb 15, 2006)

I will ask Donnie to draft you all. Then you have a clean, time-sparing alternative to shaking hands.


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## 44XT (Aug 2, 2005)

How could you shake with that arrangement? essentially the pivot point (your elbows) are locked by the combined grasp?


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## Harry96 (Aug 3, 2005)

Below the elbow, not around it. He suggested it during an interview with Bob Costas; they tried it and it worked fine.


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## Trenditional (Feb 15, 2006)

Stop beign germaphobes! If coming in contact with another human is that dangerous to you, wear a body condom.

_Deny Guilt, Demand Proof and Never Speak Without an Attorney!_​


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## Fogey (Aug 27, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Trenditional_
> 
> Stop beign germaphobes! If coming in contact with another human is that dangerous to you, wear a body condom.
> 
> _Deny Guilt, Demand Proof and Never Speak Without an Attorney!_​


Who says I don't?


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## Mr. Di Liberti (Jan 24, 2006)

[]

I don't have a problem shaking hands, but... Ever looked at that telephone receiver before sticking up against your head?

Do you wash your face with the same bar of soap you use on your body?

Dry your face with the same towel as your behind?

Anthony

Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage ~ Theodore Roosevelt


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## Trenditional (Feb 15, 2006)

> quote:_Originally posted by Mr. Di Liberti_
> 
> []
> 
> ...


Anthony,

I have 3 towels for each shower; body, arm pits and behind..nary the 3 shall meet! [}]

_Deny Guilt, Demand Proof and Never Speak Without an Attorney!_​


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## Fogey (Aug 27, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Mr. Di Liberti_
> 
> []
> 
> ...


 You're right that avoiding handshaking, in and of itself, is insufficient to mitigate the risk of unfriendly germs. That's why the Society commits to a comprehensive approach, including many other elements to that same end.


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

I had a brilliant english teacher who died from AIDS. I visited him shortly before his death and HUGGED HIM. He burst into tears. Everyone was avoiding physical contact in those early scary days. I was supposedly this wild guy with stories he told me to write down who probably didn't like Gays. I do hate the macho hand squeezing. My hand was busted up in service and it just plain HURTS. There is one handsake, hard to remember now from that rotting jungle now decomposing in old newspapers called Vietnam. The DAK was started by the brothers and spread to all. A complicated exchange of slaps, fist banging and everything else, it's a deep display of unity.It still comes in handy in South Central with a broken down company truck


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## Fogey (Aug 27, 2005)

The society hereby re-convenes in time for influenza season.


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## Phinn (Apr 18, 2006)

I think the AHSS needs to take an official position on gloves. 

As part of a general effort to elevate modern cultural (esp. sartorial) standards, we need to aim high. If we work to make suits more popular, people will settle for shirts with collars. But if we go for gloves (and hats!), maybe we'll get suits. 

And those of us wearing gloves will have an added layer of protection against the filth of the world.


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## mpcsb (Jan 1, 2005)

Phinn said:


> I think the AHSS needs to take an official position on gloves.
> 
> As part of a general effort to elevate modern cultural (esp. sartorial) standards, we need to aim high. If we work to make suits more popular, people will settle for shirts with collars. But if we go for gloves (and hats!), maybe we'll get suits.
> 
> And those of us wearing gloves will have an added layer of protection against the filth of the world.


I thought gentlemen removed their gloves when shaking hands, am I incorrect?


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## Phinn (Apr 18, 2006)

> I thought gentlemen removed their gloves when shaking hands, am I incorrect?


The protocol needs a little tweaking, I admit.


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## jackmccullough (May 10, 2006)

I don't worry about shaking hands, although in the casual circles I run in it doesn't come up that much. I do, though, shake hands with my clients in the hospital all the time. I've also been immunized against Hep B and I get a flu shot every year.

Hand washing is obviously very important. I read something else that was quite interesting, and that was that there is more transmission of cold virus through touching your eyes than either the nose or mouth. Until you're aware of it you probably never notice how much you do it.

I also recently read an article online about how a hospital got its doctors to wash their hands, and it was pretty hard, even for people who should be the best informed about the dangers of contagion. Probably the moral is that you should assume that the person whose hand you shake is probably not as concerned about hygiene as you are, so you should be careful your self.

Oh yeah, and I always take my glove off to shake hands, even in the dead of winter in Vermont.


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## DaveInPhilly (May 16, 2005)

I have no problem shaking hands.I wash my hands pretty regularly throughout the day. Folks have been shaking hands for centuries and the human race has managed to trudge on. With all the other garbage my hands come in contact with, door handles, hand rails, and the like, someone else's hand is the least of my concern.


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## Fogey (Aug 27, 2005)

Phinn said:


> The protocol needs a little tweaking, I admit.


I agree. In light of all the standards which have gone by the wayside for no good reason at all, I'm sure we can make a legitimate exception for gloves on the basis of public health.


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## jeansguy (Jul 29, 2003)

I am a big fan of shaking hands, it makes a literal personal connection between two people, and that is very important, IMO.

I will say that last winter I let a big sneeze into my hand (it was sudden) just a moment before I entered an office and was introduced to someone.

I made a comment about having a nasty cold and asked to be excused from the handshake, and I think it was received quite well. Once I recovered from my cold however, I went out of my way to collect the handshake.


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## crazyquik (Jun 8, 2005)

JLPWCXIII said:


> I agree. In light of all the standards which have gone by the wayside for no good reason at all, I'm sure we can make a *legitimate exception for gloves *on the basis of public health.


White kid, I hope...


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## Submariner (May 6, 2006)

I must admit that when I use a public restroom, after I wash my hands I won't touch anything else in the place. My routine goes something like this: I dry my hands with the individual towels and grab the door handle with the towels like an oven mit, then prop the door with my foot while heaving the towels at the trash can on my way out. Most places have trash cans by the door for people as crazy as me.


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## Fogey (Aug 27, 2005)

Submariner said:


> I must admit that when I use a public restroom, after I wash my hands I won't touch anything else in the place. My routine goes something like this: I dry my hands with the individual towels and grab the door handle with the towels like an oven mit, then prop the door with my foot while heaving the towels at the trash can on my way out. Most places have trash cans by the door for people as crazy as me.


I do the same thing. And if no rubbish bin is near the door, I drop them onto the floor. I'm not going to contaminate myself due to their incompetence.


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## Relayer (Nov 9, 2005)

Submariner,

I have the same routine exactly. I think a majority of men do (at least, I hope so).

jeansguy,

I agree with you. I am very much in favor of handshaking, and I routinely offer my hand when meeting most of my male associates for the first time during the day.

I very rarely suffer any cold, or other illness. I am a big believer in hand washing, however. If I meet someone for lunch, I will, of course, discreetly excuse myslef to the restroom for a wash of the hands after performing the handshakes around the table.

The handshake among men is an indispensable part of the very fabric of our society. Grip and greet, boys!


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## odoreater (Feb 27, 2005)

Where I come from, there is no deeper lapse in hand-shaking protocol than shaking someone's hand with a glove on. Take your glove off before you shake someone's hand.

Have any of you ever though that it's your fear of germs and your extraordinary steps to avoid them that have made you so susceptible to them?


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## Phinn (Apr 18, 2006)

Maybe you're onto something. They say that germs smell fear.


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## odoreater (Feb 27, 2005)

Phinn said:


> Maybe you're onto something. They say that germs smell fear.


Or maybe your body hasn't been able to develop the tolerance and immunity to germs that it normally would have developed through ordinary contact with all these germs because you've gone to such lengths to avoid touching them.

I shake people's hands all day long, I touch door knobs, telephones, keyboards, whatever, and I hardly ever get sick. My father is a plumber who's job it is to literally deal with other people's crap. He also hardly ever gets sick. Either we've developed a tolerance/immunity to the germs that bother you fellas, or we just come from heartier stock.


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## Fogey (Aug 27, 2005)

odoreater said:


> Or maybe your body hasn't been able to develop the tolerance and immunity to germs that it normally would have developed through ordinary contact with all these germs because you've gone to such lengths to avoid touching them.
> 
> I shake people's hands all day long, I touch door knobs, telephones, keyboards, whatever, and I hardly ever get sick. My father is a plumber who's job it is to literally deal with other people's crap. He also hardly ever gets sick. Either we've developed a tolerance/immunity to the germs that bother you fellas, or we just come from heartier stock.


Or you're just lucky.


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## odoreater (Feb 27, 2005)

JLPWCXIII said:


> Or you're just lucky.


Yes, that's right, I'm lucky to have been born into a family that didn't raise me to be a whiny little hypochondriac.


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## Fogey (Aug 27, 2005)

odoreater said:


> Yes, that's right, I'm lucky to have been born into a family that didn't raise me to be a whiny little hypochondriac.


They obviously brought you up to be a charming gentleman.


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## odoreater (Feb 27, 2005)

JLPWCXIII said:


> They obviously brought you up to be a charming gentleman.


 Charming - yes; gentleman - no.


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