# Must Every Married Man Wear A Wedding Ring?



## omairp (Aug 21, 2006)

I was having this debate with my colleagues today: Is it absolutely necessary that a man wear a wedding ring? It seems pretty strongly ingrained in European culture that not wearing it is some kind of great offense or insult to your spouse, but of all the South Asians I know, around 40-50% of the married family men wear wedding rings, the rest prefer nothing because they generally dislike the idea of "foreign objects" on their hands. What do you think?


----------



## gar1013 (Sep 24, 2007)

If you contemplate what a romantic gesture it is to wear a wedding ring, it becomes apparent that it is the thing to do. You are basically showing to the world, without uttering so much as a word, that you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with someone. 

To put it another way: if you want your wife to wear a wedding ring, then you should as well.


----------



## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

My vote is for _it depends_. I'd say it depends upon what your occupation is. Some men can't wear their rings to work.

I wear mine, but if I had the choice, I wouldn't. I just don't like to wear any jewelry. I take it off when I get home. To be honest, I really don't even like to wear a watch.


----------



## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

I voted no. A bachelor ring, if such a thing existed would be just as silly. IMO a person's marital status should be nobody else's business, unless he/she wants to advertise it for some reason.


----------



## TMMKC (Aug 2, 2007)

I wear mine (as well as a signet ring on the right hand) all the time, though I do take all jewelry off to work in the garden or to work out (sometimes when I golf too). My wife has told me she does not like the idea of me not wearing it in public...so I'm either branded or severely whipped, not sure which!


----------



## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

TMMKC said:


> My wife has told me she does not like the idea of me not wearing it in public...


Yikes. Then consider it to be the world's smallest handcuff.


----------



## TMMKC (Aug 2, 2007)

FrankDC said:


> Yikes. Then consider it to be the world's smallest handcuff.


LOL! Good line...I will need to remember that one!


----------



## guitone (Mar 20, 2005)

I never wore one, I am not a ring guy even though I have some in the safe deposit box that I inherited. I not longer need one as I am divorced, so maybe I knew something (just kidding on that one). I think I just do not like rings for myself.


----------



## JRR (Feb 11, 2006)

I picked the wife choice.


----------



## Albert (Feb 15, 2006)

FrankDC said:


> Yikes. Then consider it to be the world's smallest handcuff.


That's what it's intended to be, isn't it? (btw, I have voted "yes")

Alternatively, you could call it a reduced chastity belt...


----------



## Spence (Feb 28, 2006)

I never wear mine as I can't stand rings. This caused some frustration with my wife at first but she eventually got over it.

-spence


----------



## JRR (Feb 11, 2006)

Albert said:


> That's what it's intended to be, isn't it? (btw, I have voted "yes")
> 
> Alternatively, you could call it a reduced chastity belt...


Hopefully not complete chastity.

Maybe a mongamy belt?


----------



## agnash (Jul 24, 2006)

*Keeps things simpler*

My wife does not insist that I wear mine, and I do not like jewelry, but I do wear mine. I travel a lot for work, and the ring serves as an advertisement that keeps my life much simpler. I know, because early in my marriage I did not wear it consistently, and it led to a few akward moments.


----------



## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

TMMKC said:


> My wife has told me she does not like the idea of me not wearing it in public...so I'm either branded or severely whipped, not sure which!


Ditto and perhaps I can help in eliminating the confusion...we are whipped! (winks)


----------



## 16128 (Feb 8, 2005)

I'm a wife, and I chose "personal choice".

My husband usually wears his, but sometimes forgets and I'm not bothered either way. If he really hated rings for some reason and didn't wear it, I wouldn't mind.

I don't take mine off - primarily because I'm afraid of misplacing them. I've already lost my engagement diamond, which plopped out at some point. Make sure your wife's diamond is strongly attached to the ring!


----------



## TMMKC (Aug 2, 2007)

VS said:


> Make sure your wife's diamond is strongly attached to the ring!


Mrs. TMMKC takes her ring to the jeweler annually to get it cleaned and checked to see if the mounting needs tightened. Considering how much that diamond cost, I don't know which one of us would be more upset if it got lost!

An aside to this thread...my wife does not wear her engagement ring at all when gardening, working out or traveling. In those instances, she only wears the simple diamond-studded wedding band. I guess it's her way of protecting the investment!


----------



## Geoff Gander (Apr 4, 2007)

I think it should be a matter of personal choice; but as most married men know, whatever makes your wife happy, makes you happy, too.  

Geoff


----------



## Mark from Plano (Jan 29, 2007)

I answered "Yes" but a better answer would probably have been "personal choice". That said I would feel like it was a sign of embarrassment about being married not to wear mine. I'm proud to be married, it's the most important relationship in my life, it's a cultural practice I'm proud to engage in. Call it a handcuff if you like, but I put it on voluntarily 18 years ago and have no interest in taking it off.

There are times that I don't wear it, primarily surrounding events where it might be dangerous or where I think it might get lost. I don't wear it sailing. I don't wear it to the beach (neither does Mrs. Mark from Plano).

I actually hate jewelry, other than watches, and if I wasn't married I wouldn't wear a ring of any kind. I just happen to think of this as more than just a piece of jewelry.

JMHO.


----------



## Cottonmather0 (Sep 20, 2007)

> Yikes. Then consider it to be the world's smallest handcuff.


Aside from certain safety considerations, or maybe working in the garden, etc, etc, if it was important to your wife why in world would you not? Because you don't want girls to know you're not single at the club and it's therefore easier to chat them up? What the heck are your marriage vows worth if you think they're a drag on your social life?

It's one thing if your wife doesn't allow you the freedom to have a life away from her "with the boys" so to speak - those would be real handcuffs, btw - but I don't think it's unreasonable for her to think that even if I'm away from her - playing cards, sitting in a bar, at the gym, whatever - I shouldn't deny (or hide) that I'm married in the first place. The only justification I see for not wearing one outside of certain safety concerns would be that it hinders you from being disingenuous - with yourself and with other people - no? And if that's the case, why be married in the first place if she's obviously taking it more seriously than you are? That's just not right. Get a divorce if you disagree with her, but don't treat your marriage less seriously than she does. If it makes her happy, just do it.


----------



## fenway (May 2, 2006)

I didn't get one. I hate rings, or any jewelry for that matter. Maybe a nice set of cufflinks.

The former child bride never minded. She knows that I am not going anywhere.


----------



## Droog (Aug 29, 2006)

I have never taken mine off after 26 years except once for my double bypass. To me it represents my commitment to and pride in my wife and is entirely my choice. Other than a wristwatch, it is my only jewelry.


----------



## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Personal choice all the way.

I wear one most of the time out in public. I take it off when I get home, when I'll be working with my hands, when I play the bagpipes, etc. It is the only piece of jewelry I wear except cufflinks.

If you think a wedding ring is a handcuff, you really view monogamous relationships as a prison. The handcuff is the committment, not any piece of clothing or jewelry that symbolizes the committment. Symbols are mere semiotic message senders, our personal committment to our partners is what is real.

Prongs holding diamonds...platinum. Mrs. Wayfarer has a platinum engagement ring/wedding band set. We were just fascinated by how damn heavy the metal is, even relative to gold, but it turns out it is a far better metal for holding rocks. Even if the band is gold, we were told you could have platinum prongs to hold the rock. Something to thing about.


----------



## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Depends on what the situation is.If you're willing to keep your ring on,so be it.It's your personal choice.That's if you want to tell certain people you are married.Like say for instance if you want to meet a girl but only as a buddy,Would you say anything to her if she brought up the situation?


----------



## 16128 (Feb 8, 2005)

Wayfarer said:


> Prongs holding diamonds...platinum. Mrs. Wayfarer has a platinum engagement ring/wedding band set. We were just fascinated by how damn heavy the metal is, even relative to gold, but it turns out it is a far better metal for holding rocks. Even if the band is gold, we were told you could have platinum prongs to hold the rock. Something to thing about.


Thanks for that. We were married before the current vogue for platinum rings, so ours are gold. : )

As for a ring symbolizing commitment, true, but people hit on women and men wearing wedding rings all the time, and people wearing wedding rings can blatantly hit on others too. If someone's going to cheat on you, it's based on what's in his or her noggin, not what's on the ring finger.


----------



## Trimmer (Nov 2, 2005)

The (traditional) Church of England wedding service assumes that only the bride is given a ring. I do not have one nor had my father. However at all the weddings I have been to recently there have been two rings.


----------



## flylot74 (Jul 26, 2007)

Personal choice. I wear one and wear it proudly. I states a commitment and it shouts to the world: "I love this woman!"

I do remove it when I am working on actively rotating machinery, lathes, mills, and my electric welder. I know someone who lost his finger because of the ring hanging on machinery.


----------



## spielerman (Jul 21, 2007)

eagle2250 said:


> Ditto and perhaps I can help in eliminating the confusion...we are whipped! (winks)


+1 on the whipped score card.

Its to the point that I feel ackward if I do not wear it.

What is that saying if the wife's happy...?


----------



## Beresford (Mar 30, 2006)

I learned a lesson this past summer about the importance of wearing my wedding ring.

Sometimes during the summer in the past couple of years I have stopped wearing mine, because as the weather heats up, my finger swells and it's uncomfortable, as well as getting itchy. My wife doesn't care if I take it off (and in fact, has not worn hers for years). We've been married so long (24 years) that I don't think either of us thinks about it that much.

Well, this time, after a couple of weeks there was a young lady I was running into through work who I realize in retrospect was giving me the definite signs. Like I say, I've been married for so long at first I was totally oblivious and not picking up on it. It finally dawned on me when she slipped me an invitation to a business conference that just happened to have her home phone number and address on it with a handwritten note saying, "call me if you have any questions or want to talk about this." I said uh-oh to myself, and decided to put the ring back on and see what happened. Yep, all of the sudden it changed back to a pure business attitude.

The bottom line is if I had had any inclination to stray (and I can't say I wasn't tempted and flattered), I could have been in serious trouble pretty quickly, as this woman is quite attractive, and needless to say, it wasn't her fault for not realizing I was married. 

So that ring can really help protect you from jeopardizing your life with your wife and kids.


----------



## Spence (Feb 28, 2006)

Beresford said:


> The bottom line is if I had had any inclination to stray (and I can't say I wasn't tempted and flattered), I could have been in serious trouble pretty quickly, as this woman is quite attractive, and needless to say, it wasn't her fault for not realizing I was married.
> 
> So that ring can really help protect you from jeopardizing your life with your wife and kids.


I'd love the compliment...and if you're life is good you won't stray regardless...

Well, probably 

-spence


----------



## JLibourel (Jun 13, 2004)

I think wedding rings on men are an un-manly, un-American foreign custom that only really became ubiquitous in the post WWII era. My grandfather, who was married to my grandmother for about 50 years before she expired, never wore a wedding ring, and his example is good enough for me!

As someone else mentioned, there is no mention of rings for men in the traditional wedding service of the Book of Common Prayer. That tells me something anyway--un-Anglican, in addition to being un-American.

I really don't like rings much anyway. They distract me and I tend to fiddle nervously with them.


----------



## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

JLibourel said:


> I think wedding rings on men are an un-manly, un-American foreign custom ...


Jan:

Good thing I'm not American. Also being accused of being or doing something un-manly always makes me chuckle as I proudly walk around in my kilt whenever I can  In fact, this Sunday I'll be at my favorite bistro in it. They're having a Scotch tasting and I promised the operator to play a few tunes to kick off the tasting.


----------



## AMVanquish (May 24, 2005)

JLibourel said:


> I think wedding rings on men are an un-manly, un-American foreign custom that only really became ubiquitous in the post WWII era. My grandfather, who was married to my grandmother for about 50 years before she expired, never wore a wedding ring, and his example is good enough for me!
> 
> As someone else mentioned, there is no mention of rings for men in the traditional wedding service of the Book of Common Prayer. That tells me something anyway--un-Anglican, in addition to being un-American.
> 
> I really don't like rings much anyway. They distract me and I tend to fiddle nervously with them.


Never mind about that for a moment, isn't there also no mention of presenting the woman with an engagement ring when proposing? Isn't this "tradition" of us men dropping a few K on an engagement ring started by the evil marketing minds of the DeBeers company?


----------



## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

I don't think men should be afraid of wearing one,It's just a symbol of love for that special someone you really care about.


----------



## Beresford (Mar 30, 2006)

Spence said:


> I'd love the compliment...and if you're life is good you won't stray regardless...
> 
> Well, probably
> 
> -spence


In our Men's group at church we talk about the better part of valor being to avoid temptation in the first place. The word the Bible usually uses in those situations is "flee." Also, when you think that there's absolutely no way you can be tempted by something, that's when you could be at greatest risk. So I really try to stay out of situations that could end up becoming a temptation. Know I sound like a Puritan prude, but I guess that's what I've become. My family is just too important to me to risk messing it up.


----------



## 16128 (Feb 8, 2005)

flylot74 said:


> Personal choice. I wear one and wear it proudly. I states a commitment and it shouts to the world: "I love this woman!"
> 
> I do remove it when I am working on actively rotating machinery, lathes, mills, and my electric welder. I know someone who lost his finger because of the ring hanging on machinery.


My husband's former job involved crawling around cockpits to adjust the GPS and radar settings; he was not supposed to wear a ring. I washed it many times (trapped in a pocket).

Definitely don't wear it if work or hobbies involve risk to your fingers.

Interestingly, my husband says he's been hit on MORE since he has worn a ring. Weird. However, he is a good-looking gentleman.


----------



## KenR (Jun 22, 2005)

All I know is that if I even _tried_ to take it off, no matter where I was, my phone would ring.


----------



## Mr. Knightly (Sep 1, 2005)

Beresford said:


> In our Men's group at church we talk about the better part of valor being to avoid temptation in the first place. The word the Bible usually uses in those situations is "flee." Also, when you think that there's absolutely no way you can be tempted by something, that's when you could be at greatest risk. So I really try to stay out of situations that could end up becoming a temptation. Know I sound like a Puritan prude, but I guess that's what I've become. My family is just too important to me to risk messing it up.


I'm of the same mind. You can't make mistakes if you deny yourself the opportunity.

I don't actually consider marital status to be personal information. It's important to know whether or not someone is available (not that a lack of a ring should be construed as an advertisement). As a young man, I find wedding rings on women to be an important social cue. I imagine that they feel the same way about us.


----------



## Cottonmather0 (Sep 20, 2007)

KenR said:


> All I know is that if I even _tried_ to take it off, no matter where I was, my phone would ring.


Now THAT is funny (especially since I have the same problem).


----------



## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

It wouldn't mean anything if they didn't wear one for a day,Unless people start asking questions.


----------

