# Worth Dressing???



## thegovteach (Dec 2, 2012)

This morning was one of those mornings I wonder if dressing well is worth....had to visit a rural school in East Texas and on my way back home I stopped at a restaurant for a coffee. 

As I was leaving, I was called "F&&king Fa&&ot" I was wearing a tweed jacket, ivy cap, and did have a scarf around my neck....rarely get to wear such a get up, and it was 19F, so I jumped at dressing 'cold.' 

Maybe it's my area, but do any of you get hassled over your dress?


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## Pentheos (Jun 30, 2008)

I don't. But I'm 6'4" and 260 lbs. And I look mean.

I'm sorry for your experience. I hope you didn't back down. Boorish behavior needs to be countered.


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## Tempest (Aug 16, 2012)

When I'm pushing it, like saddle shoes and a sweater vest, our UPS driver will say pretty much the same thing, but he harasses everyone.

Last week I was literally wearing an ascot (for warmth, really) under a pink shirt, and an outside machinist visitedn to review something. Needless to say, he was in workboots and jeans and a sweatshirt. I deflected by admitting that I knew I looked a bit fruity and no real notice was paid whatsoever.

I have fun with clothes. Any reaction is just part of the game. I know the risks and am secure in my style but can share a laugh about it.


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## Monocle (Oct 24, 2012)

Once I wore a fairly conservative 3 button black worsted with white dress shirt, and a BB regimental, and was told I look like Harry Potter.

...and that was the best the wife could come up with.


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## ThePopinjay (Nov 12, 2013)

I went through highschool in rural Ohio where most wore 'tap-out' t-shirts and hunting camo, so it was definitely unusual that I wore a coat and tie to school everyday. Some people didn't get it but for the most part people just acknowledged me as 'Well dressed'. It helps that I've thought my demeanor and dress is very masculine and I'm able to have a sense of humor. I did get shouted at out of a car window one time walking through town (I was wearing a BB madras jacket). I gave them the bird and kept walking, not very classy, but hey, what else can you do?


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## Joey Kendrick (Dec 17, 2013)

I knew a guy in high school (we were even somewhat friends at the time) who insisted only "f&gs" wore cardigans and that I was embarrassing myself by wearing one. I ran into a lot of funny looks and similar comments in high school, but university has been more forgiving of my affinity for bow ties.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

thegovteach said:


> This morning was one of those mornings I wonder if dressing well is worth....had to visit a rural school in East Texas and on my way back home I stopped at a restaurant for a coffee.
> 
> As I was leaving, I was called "F&&king Fa&&ot" I was wearing a tweed jacket, ivy cap, and did have a scarf around my neck....rarely get to wear such a get up, and it was 19F, so I jumped at dressing 'cold.'
> 
> Maybe it's my area, but do any of you get hassled over your dress?


A sound beating will often provide a moron with several useful life-lessons (perhaps even an epiphany) not the least of which being - if one chooses to initiate a confrontation then one might recieve an enthusiastically combative response.

To dish out such punishment can be considered a genuinely public spirited gesture as such disincentives to repeat his behaviour in future will benefit the larger community. To visit retribution upon loud mouths really is the honourable, yet simultaneously selfless - charitable even - option.


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## Bandit44 (Oct 1, 2010)

I have the solution. https://www.chippneckwear.com/look-closely-tie-white/


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## Fading Fast (Aug 22, 2012)

Simply sorry you had to experience that. Soldier on, enjoy your clothes, wear them and hopeful those incidents will be very few an very far between or, even better, never happen again.


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## MarkY (Mar 24, 2005)

Pentheos said:


> I don't. But I'm 6'4" and 260 lbs. And I look mean.
> 
> I'm sorry for your experience. I hope you didn't back down. Boorish behavior needs to be countered.


When you're 6'4" and 260 lbs, you might be able to counter boorish behavior, but more than likely you wouldn't have encountered it in the first place. For most of us, it is better to just walk away and ignore.


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## Semper Jeep (Oct 11, 2011)

Shaver said:


> A sound beating will often provide a moron with several useful life-lessons (perhaps even an epiphany) not the least of which being - if one chooses to initiate a confrontation then one might recieve an enthusiastically combative response.


Yesterday would have been the appropriate day for delivering such an epiphany.


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## jimw (May 4, 2009)

Shaver said:


> A sound beating will often provide a moron with several useful life-lessons (perhaps even an epiphany) not the least of which being - if one chooses to initiate a confrontation then one might recieve an enthusiastically combative response.
> 
> To dish out such punishment can be considered a genuinely public spirited gesture as such disincentives to repeat his behaviour in future will benefit the larger community. To visit retribution upon loud mouths really is the honourable, yet simultaneously selfless - charitable even - option.


A really 'trad' way of adressing the challenge would be to inform the cracker that you lettered in boxing at Darmouth, class of 19?? :eek2: Seriously, though, I've come to see that its generally not worth rising to the challenge - always remember that many of "these people" really have little to lose and could cause things to escalate to dire effect (ie. a chance to retrieve their favorite tire iron, bat, H&K, etc). Pride is a hard thing to swallow, but just take heart that you have all of your own teeth, can READ and possibly pay more in taxes that these ******** actually earn in a year!


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## Steve Smith (Jan 12, 2008)

jimw said:


> Seriously, though, I've come to see that its generally not worth rising to the challenge - always remember that many of "these people" really have little to lose and could cause things to escalate to dire effect (ie. a chance to retrieve their favorite tire iron, bat, H&K, etc).


_Little to lose_ is a key concept to be aware of. In a fight situation you always must beware of the person who has less to lose, and I would venture that any AAAC member has more to lose than someone who is shooting his mouth off at strangers.

Closely related, you never know the medical situation of the idiot. It is possible to kill or permanently injure someone in a little tussle.

So the best avenue is to walk away. Then you only have to find an outlet for all that adrenaline.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

I don't worry about people staring at me, I dress how I should dress in the cold. everybody knows that one should always dress warm while going outside in brutal temperatures cause you can wind up with frostbite or hypothermia.

Sorry about your experience.


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## bd79cc (Dec 20, 2006)

thegovteach said:


> This morning was one of those mornings I wonder if dressing well is worth....had to visit a rural school in East Texas and on my way back home I stopped at a restaurant for a coffee.
> 
> As I was leaving, I was called "F&&king Fa&&ot" I was wearing a tweed jacket, ivy cap, and did have a scarf around my neck....rarely get to wear such a get up, and it was 19F, so I jumped at dressing 'cold.'
> 
> Maybe it's my area, but do any of you get hassled over your dress?


Consider the place where it happened and who treated you this way. The ignorant and vulgar behavior didn't originate with you, but with them. As such, it's their problem, not yours. Much as I'd like to indulge my impulses and deal harshly and unsympathetically with the people who foment such trouble, I almost always just ignore it.


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## Fiddlermatt (Jul 3, 2013)

Shaver said:


> A sound beating will often provide a moron with several useful life-lessons (perhaps even an epiphany) not the least of which being - if one chooses to initiate a confrontation then one might recieve an enthusiastically combative response.
> 
> To dish out such punishment can be considered a genuinely public spirited gesture as such disincentives to repeat his behaviour in future will benefit the larger community. To visit retribution upon loud mouths really is the honourable, yet simultaneously selfless - charitable even - option.


Does the epiphany come before or after the court date?


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## Flairball (Dec 9, 2012)

thegovteach said:


> As I was leaving, I was called "F&&king Fa&&ot"


This bothers you? Why? It's completely unoriginal. What's next? Perhaps a "Your Moma" joke? When one lacks such effort then the joke is on them.

And the fact that they failed to make any kind of comment until you were leaving shows a true lack of character and courage. If they'd have had any integrity they'd have addressed their displeasure with your appearance upon your arrival, but they didn't, fearing you'd either have the vocabulary and/or the balls to make them look stupid in front of everyone.

As to threats of violence (somewhat off topic, now) which can follow a well timed retort, I have always found that if I look the invitee directly in the eye and inform them that "I'm right here" they usually sit back down and stare into their drink. It's a bit of one upsmanship; while they never expect you to actually go outside with them, they also don't expect you to be willing to throw down right there, and the truth is they usually don't really want to go outside either. They're just counting on you not accepting the challenge so they can continue to verbally abuse you. Of course, I'm rather large in stature, so....


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

Fiddlermatt said:


> Does the epiphany come before or after the court date?


In my experience court is an arena where being a well-dressed [email protected] pays dividends, if you are hoping to be acquitted. :icon_smile:

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## AshScache (Feb 4, 2013)

Seriously? The "Trad" lifestyle is more than an aesthetic-- a boor in a 3/2 roll suit is still a boor. a gentleman is just as gentle in sweats. No fights about clothing. Seriously? 

FWIW, I feel uniquely entitled to offer this opinion. I wore a suit to school in second grade, as well as sport coats and other (actually quite trad) menswear. I got made fun of mercilessly. What did I do? Let me be me, turn the other cheek, and go right on dressing that way. And years later, as we graduated, classmates apologized for making fun of me and applauded my courage. The girl I had a crush on for years actually told me it was one of the most memorable things from growing up.

But seriously. No fist fights about clothes. You'll rip your trousers.


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## Eric W S (Jun 6, 2012)

Trad is a style of clothing. It's not a lifestyle by any definition of the word.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## Joey Kendrick (Dec 17, 2013)

jimw said:


> A really 'trad' way of addressing the challenge would be to inform the cracker that you lettered in boxing at Dartmouth, class of 19?? :eek2: Seriously, though, I've come to see that its generally not worth rising to the challenge - always remember that many of "these people" really have little to lose and could cause things to escalate to dire effect (ie. a chance to retrieve their favorite tire iron, bat, H&K, etc). Pride is a hard thing to swallow, but just take heart that you have all of your own teeth, can READ and possibly pay more in taxes that these ******** actually earn in a year!


 Any jokes aside, this sort of bigotry is not going to help any situation. No, it's not right for someone to call someone else a "f&g," but it's also not right for us to refer to others as "these people" and stereotype them as uneducated, weapon-toting ********. Furthermore, I believe it's in poor taste to alienate ourselves by assuming we have such an inflated income compared to our fellow man, and it's completely ungentlemanly to point it out (whether or not it's true.)

The gentlemanly thing to do, like you've stated, is to swallow your pride and walk away: Not because we think we're better than any stereotypical group, but because that's the most appropriate response and the only way to deal with a rude person from any walk of life. Being a gentleman, like being an a-hole, is not exclusive to any social class.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

Joey Kendrick said:


> Any jokes aside, this sort of bigotry is not going to help any situation. No, it's not right for someone to call someone else a "f&g," but it's also not right for us to refer to others as "these people" and stereotype them as uneducated, weapon-toting ********. Furthermore, I believe it's in poor taste to alienate ourselves by assuming we have such an inflated income compared to our fellow man, and it's completely ungentlemanly to point it out (whether or not it's true.)
> 
> The gentlemanly thing to do, like you've stated, is to swallow your pride and walk away: Not because we think we're better than any stereotypical group, but because that's the most appropriate response and the only way to deal with a rude person from any walk of life. Being a gentleman, like being an a-hole, is not exclusive to any social class.


Swallowing one's pride and walking away? This would be most unseemly behaviour from a gentleman.


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## jimw (May 4, 2009)

Joey Kendrick said:


> Any jokes aside, this sort of bigotry is not going to help any situation. No, it's not right for someone to call someone else a "f&g," but it's also not right for us to refer to others as "these people" and stereotype them as uneducated, weapon-toting ********. Furthermore, I believe it's in poor taste to alienate ourselves by assuming we have such an inflated income compared to our fellow man, and it's completely ungentlemanly to point it out (whether or not it's true.)
> 
> The gentlemanly thing to do, like you've stated, is to swallow your pride and walk away: Not because we think we're better than any stereotypical group, but because that's the most appropriate response and the only way to deal with a rude person from any walk of life. Being a gentleman, like being an a-hole, is not exclusive to any social class.


Well put - I concede the this point, and should be kinder to my fellow man.


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## Joey Kendrick (Dec 17, 2013)

Shaver said:


> Swallowing one's pride and walking away? This would be most unseemly behaviour from a gentleman.


How would you suggest a gentleman deal with the situation? By committing a felony?

Regardless, hopping onto an online forum and posting bigoted, elitist diatribes is _never _the gentlemanly thing to do.

EDIT: jimw, I appreciate your acknowledgement. I don't mean to be confrontational but I feel we must be aware of the line between playful and offensive.


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## jimw (May 4, 2009)

Bandit44 said:


> I have the solution. https://www.chippneckwear.com/look-closely-tie-white/


Nice - this would pair well with my new belt buckle/opener: :biggrin:


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## Tilton (Nov 27, 2011)

Eric W S said:


> Trad is a style of clothing. It's not a lifestyle by any definition of the word.


This. Otherwise, if we booted those who didn't actually go to an Ivy or similar school, vacation on the Cape/Vineyard, own a sailboat, don't even live in New England much less "trad" neighborhoods, there wouldn't be much left. It is a style of clothing and nothing more.


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## bd79cc (Dec 20, 2006)

Tilton said:


> This. Otherwise, if we booted those who didn't actually go to an Ivy or similar school, vacation on the Cape/Vineyard, own a sailboat, don't even live in New England much less "trad" neighborhoods, there wouldn't be much left. It is a style of clothing and nothing more.


Exactly!


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## Dieu et les Dames (Jul 18, 2012)

I'm not surprised you caught some flack for dressing Ivy in Texas. If I venture out of Gulf Breeze or downtown Pensacola, the likelihood of someone commenting on my attire increases 100x. Just do whatever makes you happy and don't let other peoples opinions dictate your actions.


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## taylorgtr (Jun 1, 2013)

Did they say it to your, or just at you as you walked out the door? They're probably just marking their social territory for the benefit of their local 'audience'. It likely had nothing to do with you. You just happened to be different enough to stand out, and therefore, a convenient target. You probably would have gotten the same comment if you were dressed in a BB navy suit and wing tips, or anything that looked remotely foreign to that particular coffee shop. If it's not said directly TO me, and / or I don't think it's worth my time, I've learned to go conveniently deaf and go on about my day.


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## MaxBuck (Apr 4, 2013)

Steve Smith said:


> _Little to lose_ is a key concept to be aware of. In a fight situation you always must beware of the person who has less to lose, and I would venture that any AAAC member has more to lose than someone who is shooting his mouth off at strangers.


Perfect!

On those rare occasions when I've been confronted with boorish behavior, I've typically laughed it off, shaken my head, and walked away. The one occasion when I did not, I broke the other fellow's arm in the ensuing tussle. It's not worth the fallout from such an outcome, believe me, if all you've been hit by is a few nasty words.


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## AshScache (Feb 4, 2013)

I personally think that the "trad"....thing, at least on this forum, really IS more of a lifestyle than simply a sartorial style. Not necessarily about money or the trappings of success, but about manners. I think for the most part we all have them, and that if we didn't, we probably wouldn't care as much as we do about how we dress. I think they go together, whether subconsciously or not. Just my two cents.

+1 to walking away from nasty words.


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## Hayek (Jun 20, 2006)

Can't say I've ever had that happen to me, but I've also never been to Texas :biggrin:

Just ignore it, I say. Generally not a good idea to pick a fight with someone who wants to fight.


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## Flanderian (Apr 30, 2008)

Shaver said:


> Swallowing one's pride and walking away? This would be most unseemly behaviour from a gentleman.


Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. Being Texas, it's 50/50 said moron is armed.


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## Eric W S (Jun 6, 2012)

Yes, unfortunately most people here confuse a life for a style. Hence the endless nauseating threads about what is and isn't Trad.

Common sense, manners and courtesy are exclusive of what you wear or your sense of style. You are who you are. And it has little if anything to do with being Trad. It's a willing and simple group think around here.

I'd be cautious when speaking for any group as there are as many commonalities as differences.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## Dmontez (Dec 6, 2012)

Gentlemen, please do not let this effect the way you think about us Texans. For the most part we are kind, courteous people. Sure there are bad apples in every tree, but I assure you this is not normal behavior for a Texan. I think the best way to handle a situation like that is to laugh, and walk away. Let them know it does not bother you, and I am sure it will bother the hell out of them.


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## Flanderian (Apr 30, 2008)

Dmontez said:


> Gentlemen, please do not let this effect the way you think about us Texans.


It hasn't, just confirmed it! :icon_cheers:

Seriously, red-neck morons aren't confined to Texas, given 15 minutes of your time, I could easily lead you to numerous local specimens.


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## AshScache (Feb 4, 2013)

Fair enough. I just happen to think that all or virtually all of the people on this board are stand up gentleman in every sense of the word, and I can't imagine that isn't as much of what makes us get along as the clothes we wear. And I have to suspect there might be a connection between trad [itional] clothing and traditional manners.



Eric W S said:


> Yes, unfortunately most people here confuse a life for a style. Hence the endless nauseating threads about what is and isn't Trad.
> 
> Common sense, manners and courtesy are exclusive of what you wear or your sense of style. You are who you are. And it has little if anything to do with being Trad. It's a willing and simple group think around here.
> 
> ...


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## JLibourel (Jun 13, 2004)

I lived in Texas for five years and never encountered anything untoward. I was told there were one or two bars outside Lubbock (the city itself being "dry") where a prudent man did not venture, but that is true of just about everyplace. In general, I found the Texans to be exceptionally friendly people.

I have never encountered any hostility worth mentioning because of my attire. Like Pentheos earlier in this thread, this may have been partially due to my size. Although not nearly as imposing as Pentheos, I was 6'3" and weighed a muscular 220-230 much of my adult life. I am now somewhat shrunken with old age, though.


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## katon (Dec 25, 2006)

If people are throwing insults your direction for what you are wearing, there's a good chance that you ignored the context of your environment. If you compare old Brooks Brothers catalogs and old L.L. Bean catalogs, you'll notice that the models aren't dressed the same, even if in practice the same people were purchasing from both catalogs. That's because each set of clothing is designed for a different environment. Those photos of Nixon on the beach in wingtips are funny because they show a person who is out of touch with the world around him; don't be Nixon.


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## Tilton (Nov 27, 2011)

AshScache said:


> Fair enough. I just happen to think that all or virtually all of the people on this board are stand up gentleman in every sense of the word, and I can't imagine that isn't as much of what makes us get along as the clothes we wear. *And I have to suspect there might be a connection between trad [itional] clothing and traditional manners.*


There's not. Plus, the whole idea of "trad lifestyle" is based on money, pedigree, and trappings. On the other hand, the TNSIL/Trad style has little to do with any of that at this point. As much as folks on here (including myself) like to emulate the style of people like WFB, JFK, etc., the fact is that in real life, the vast majority of us would have very little in common with them. Being a good, considerate, polite, and well-adjusted human being is the preferable way for anyone to go through life, but it is not the same thing as living a "trad lifestyle."


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## efdll (Sep 11, 2008)

Dieu et les Dames said:


> I'm not surprised you caught some flack for dressing Ivy in Texas. If I venture out of Gulf Breeze or downtown Pensacola, the likelihood of someone commenting on my attire increases 100x. Just do whatever makes you happy and don't let other peoples opinions dictate your actions.


Residing in the same neck (no pun intended) of the woods as Dieu et les Dames, but even deeper into the heart of the heart of the country, I admit I try not to stick out, so most of my about-town getup consists of a uniform of Wrangler jeans and t-shirts. Still, I know I look different, plus I don't look like a tough guy in the -- to me enviable -- manner of some forum members. Everyone is very friendly to me -- I'm related by my sister's marriage to a local. Still, I wouldn't push it. One learns when camouflage is needed. In the city it's called street smarts. And it's different everywhere. For example, journalists who cover the Middle East often grow a beard because that's how men there look. In other words, you have better things to do than to cultivate trouble. On the other hand, if you feel a need to represent and you can back it up with macho violence, be my guest. I agree with most folk here. Not worth it.
As for homophobic insults, if anyone cares to read how I explore it, please read my blog: www.fernandezinblackandwhite.com


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## dionattilio (Feb 24, 2009)

katon said:


> If people are throwing insults your direction for what you are wearing, there's a good chance that you ignored the context of your environment. If you compare old Brooks Brothers catalogs and old L.L. Bean catalogs, you'll notice that the models aren't dressed the same, even if in practice the same people were purchasing from both catalogs. That's because each set of clothing is designed for a different environment. Those photos of Nixon on the beach in wingtips are funny because they show a person who is out of touch with the world around him; don't be Nixon.


Maybe a little of this, but an insult from a moron, to me, is about as good as a compliment.


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## Flanderian (Apr 30, 2008)

dionattilio said:


> an insult from a moron, to me, is about as good as a compliment.


:thumbs-up: :thumbs-up: :thumbs-up:


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## Spin Evans (Feb 2, 2013)

I think that we need to consider what our clothing _actually_ says to others. I feel that dressing in a blazer and grey flannels at formal-ish dinner indicates my maturity and respect for the situation, others, and myself. However, that can communicate something entirely different to someone else. Watch almost any '80s movie and we can pick out the bad guy immediately, because he's the prep, or the yuppie, or the rich old guy. He's the one who cares about the way he looks, because he only cares about himself. He's a vain, disrespectful, snobby jerk.

Warranted or not, that image _is _a barrier to social interaction. It's not easy finding the line between catering to the lowest common denominator and willfully disregarding the impression we give to others.

We should also examine the reasons why we dress the way we do. Do I choose to dress nicer only because I like traditional style? Or do I want to impress a certain group of people? Do I want to look more competent? I chose to dress better in high school in order to differentiate myself and to look more confident toward others, men and women alike. The issue there was that clothing acted as a bandaid for social maturity, and I chose to ignore my internal shortcomings by focusing instead on my external appearance. Thus, any sort of criticism cut me to the core. I'm not trying to imply that everyone who dresses better has an ulterior motive or is trying to gain acceptance, but I think it is always useful to think about what spurs major change.


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## sarakali (May 19, 2013)

Trad clothing is celebrated because it is supposed to blend in and be the appropriate - albeit polished - uniform for any occasion. But you have to wonder, if forum members are actively getting ridiculed for their clothing, something which saddens me, are we straying too far into the territory of costume? Is trad clothing really trad anymore if it can only be worn in certain, highly limiting situations? At any rate, I greatly tone down my attire when going out. Items such as bow ties, ivy caps, and pocket squares are things that only exist in my dreams.


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## roman totale XVII (Sep 18, 2009)




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## Reuben (Aug 28, 2013)

Spin Evans said:


> Watch almost any '80s movie and we can pick out the bad guy immediately, because he's the prep, or the yuppie, or the rich old guy.


I've just accepted that I'd probably end up the villain of any '80's movie I found myself in. With a style that ranges from excessively GTH-preppy to what oldsarge termed "Southern Plantation Trad", a rather strong southern accent, and a penchant for the violent-er contact sports (not to mention my _stunningly_ good looks [humble, too]), I'm one step away from demolishing the local rec center.


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## JLibourel (Jun 13, 2004)

Oh, there's something to be said for being perceived as a "villain." You know how girls love bad boys. I am specifically thinking of one female co-worker who told me her immediate impression of me was as "a villain in a James Bond movie--someone who would come to a bad end out on the ski slopes." She almost simultaneously fell in love with me! On the darker side, think of all those twisted women who are groupies of proven monsters.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

Joey Kendrick said:


> How would you suggest a gentleman deal with the situation? By committing a felony? .......


Laws exist to instruct the feeble minded. Pay no heed to them. :teacha:


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## Starting Late (Apr 26, 2010)

Sometimes, I'll hear comments not so much for dressing up, but for not dressing down. A couple of months ago, someone asked my why I was wearing my dress shoes - I was wearing penny loafers. I usually pay no attention whatsoever to these type of comments. If I'm being pressed about why I am wearing nicer clothes, I just say, "It's no big deal. I just got tired of dressing like a douchebag." That'll end a conversation quickly.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

I would've beaten the living daylights out of him and then shove a boot right up his ass! And then I'd say "I'll dress the way I want", Thank You very much"!


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## Flanderian (Apr 30, 2008)

Howard said:


> I would've beaten the living daylights out of him and then shove a boot right up his ass! And then I'd say "Ill dress the way I want", Thank You very much"!


:icon_cheers: Get 'em, Howard! :icon_cheers:


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## Brio1 (May 13, 2010)

Shaver said:


> Swallowing one's pride and walking away? This would be most unseemly behaviour from a gentleman.


I wonder how Mr. Quentin Crisp would had conducted himself if found in this situation? Shall we take Mr. Gordon Sumner's song entitled "Englishman in New York" as a reliable guide? (I think not.)


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

Howard said:


> I would've beaten the living daylights out of him and then shove a boot right up his ass! And then I'd say "Ill dress the way I want", Thank You very much"!


You and Shaver are no longer permitted to sit with one another in class.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

WouldaShoulda said:


> You and Shaver are no longer permitted to sit with one another in class.


:cool2:


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

You like the way you dress. You put good effort into it. Why let someone get you down? As said before, the problem isn't you, it's them. The way you dress doesn't actually commit a faux pas or hurt anyone.

I've gotten more than my fair share of BS "criticism" both online and off. There will always be people who are secretly envious, want to put others down in a vain attempt to feel superior (and it clearly doesn't work else they would stop doing it), or are trying to impress someone else by behaving this way. If you don't react, you don't give them that power. That's the best thing I've learned so far.


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## Fading Fast (Aug 22, 2012)

Jovan said:


> You like the way you dress. You put good effort into it. Why let someone get you down? As said before, the problem isn't you, it's them. The way you dress doesn't actually commit a faux pas or hurt anyone.
> 
> I've gotten more than my fair share of BS "criticism" both online and off. There will always be people who are secretly envious, want to put others down in a vain attempt to feel superior (and it clearly doesn't work else they would stop doing it), or are trying to impress someone else by behaving this way. If you don't react, you don't give them that power. That's the best thing I've learned so far.


+1, well said.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Flanderian said:


> :icon_cheers: Get 'em, Howard! :icon_cheers:


No one says effing ****** to me and thinks they're going to get away with it.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

WouldaShoulda said:


> You and Shaver are no longer permitted to sit with one another in class.


Aw C'mon Woulda, It wasn't that bad.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

I guess some people may be jealous in the way other people dress.


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## conductor (Mar 1, 2010)

Great video roman totale! Unfortunately, usually my best comebacks are a few hours later.


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## Anthony Charton (May 7, 2012)

Howard said:


> I would've beaten the living daylights out of him and then shove a boot right up his ass! And then I'd say "I'll dress the way I want", Thank You very much"!


With due respect, how is responding to a violent apostrophe by a violent action going to a) solve anything and b) make you the better man ?



Joey Kendrick said:


> Any jokes aside, this sort of bigotry is not going to help any situation. No, it's not right for someone to call someone else a "f&g," but it's also not right for us to refer to others as "these people" and stereotype them as uneducated, weapon-toting ********. Furthermore, I believe it's in poor taste to alienate ourselves by assuming we have such an inflated income compared to our fellow man, and it's completely ungentlemanly to point it out (whether or not it's true.)
> 
> The gentlemanly thing to do, like you've stated, is to swallow your pride and walk away: Not because we think we're better than any stereotypical group, but because that's the most appropriate response and the only way to deal with a rude person from any walk of life. Being a gentleman, like being an a-hole, is not exclusive to any social class.


Agreed, and great response.

Taking the bother to argue back, certain of one's superiority, is also a bloody waste of time and energy that very seldom results in anything productive. Being comfortable with what you wear implies responding to the harsher criticism with stoical cool.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

^^Indeed,
.....and (paraphrasing here!) as even our Savoir's words, as reported in 'The Good Book' advise, "if a man smites us, we should turn the other cheek and allow him to smite us again" (?). :crazy:

Sadly society, as we know it, generally includes a few 'real jerks' and as others have advised, it is best just to ignore them.


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## Balfour (Mar 23, 2012)

Context is everything.

Select the right mode of dress to the circumstances: What works in the City of London does not correspond to what works as CBD in Washington, D.C. What works for a weekend in London does not correspond to what works in a country weekend in Norfolk, or a business meeting in Chicago. 

I would not presume to judge what would fly in Texas, but I suspect East Coast Trad would be a sore thumb in the circumstances.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

> With due respect, how is responding to a violent apostrophe by a violent action going to a) solve anything and b) make you the better man ?


You're right, it doesn't solve anything nor does it make me the better man.


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## Trad-ish (Feb 19, 2011)

Illegitimi non carborundum!


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

^^+1 
and I would add...Always try to do them, before they can do it to you!" LOL.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

I would want to wear whatever I want and whatever I feel comfortable in why should I care what others think of how I dress?


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

Flanderian said:


> Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. Being Texas, it's 50/50 said moron is armed.


I've been thinking this over and I still maintain the Shaver family motto:

*Melius Frangi Ossis Quam Flecti G**enu
*
Which loosely translates as 'better a broken bone than a bended knee'.

Discretion is not the better part of anything. You may not always win your battles but if you lose always make darn sure that you are the best second they have ever seen. Grrrr!


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

So if someone dressed better would they still make fun of you?


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## Brio1 (May 13, 2010)

Shaver said:


> I've been thinking this over and I still maintain the Shaver family motto:
> 
> *Melius Frangi Ossis Quam Flecti G**enu
> *
> ...


" It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees." :icon_study:

- Emiliano Zapata


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## Brio1 (May 13, 2010)

eagle2250 said:


> ^^+1
> and I would add...Always try to do them, before they can do it to you!" LOL.


" Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same."

- George Bernard Shaw

:tongue2:


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

"And so, if you do not know that things are wrong that is no reason why you should not be punished for them" 

- Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby


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## Tilton (Nov 27, 2011)

Balfour said:


> Context is everything.
> 
> Select the right mode of dress to the circumstances: What works in the City of London does not correspond to what works as CBD in Washington, D.C. What works for a weekend in London does not correspond to what works in a country weekend in Norfolk, or a business meeting in Chicago.
> 
> I would not presume to judge what would fly in Texas, but I suspect East Coast Trad would be a sore thumb in the circumstances.


I think it goes deeper than that - it goes by office, really - at least here.

Eg. out esteemed colleague K Street, who posts in the Trad WAYWT thread, is a good example of what is considered business casual on, well, K St. My office, in the tech-hub DC suburb of Reston, VA, is also business casual and several employees wear Merrell hiking boots, jeans, and untucked polos, or hooded sweatshirts over collared shirts and khakis on a routine basis and it is perfectly acceptable under a "business casual" dress code.


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## fshguy (Jun 18, 2013)

Tilton said:


> I think it goes deeper than that - it goes by office, really - at least here.
> 
> Eg. out esteemed colleague K Street, who posts in the Trad WAYWT thread, is a good example of what is considered business casual on, well, K St. My office, in the tech-hub DC suburb of Reston, VA, is also business casual and several employees wear Merrell hiking boots, jeans, and untucked polos, or hooded sweatshirts over collared shirts and khakis on a routine basis and it is perfectly acceptable under a "business casual" dress code.


As someone who has bounced around a bit, I can echo this heartily. I've held positions in several offices in which the dress code in the handbook read almost identically but the level of expected dress was quite different.


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