# A really silly poll about sandwiches



## TMMKC (Aug 2, 2007)

It's a well-known fact that sandwiches taste better when cut on a diagonal.:icon_smile_big: What say you?


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## MarkfromMD (Nov 5, 2008)

TMMKC said:


> It's a well-known fact that sandwiches taste better when cut on a diagonal.:icon_smile_big: What say you?


It is true.


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

DIAGONAL! Anyone who replied otherwise is part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor.


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

I prefer the diagonal but not from corner to corner.

I prefer to cut the slightly off-center giving my sandwhich a bit of "Spezz!!"


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## CRMW (Nov 7, 2009)

What can I say, I just don`t cut that way. Straight across or it feels like I bought the sandwich.


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## Andy (Aug 25, 2002)

Diagonal only! 

Exception is the hamburger, which should always be divided with a straight/center cut when eating in a restaurant (as opposed to your car :icon_smile!


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

Andy said:


> Diagonal only!
> 
> Exception is the hamburger, which should always be divided with a straight/center cut when eating in a restaurant (as opposed to your car :icon_smile!


This makes no sense.

To bifurcate a hamburger along it's diameter is the ONLY way to cut it!!


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## Apatheticviews (Mar 21, 2010)

It's a trick question of course...

Some sandwiches taste better cut diagonally, and some taste better cut length-ways. It depends on the bread and whether the mustard is spicy or not.

There is a complex formula involved that mere mortals cannot fathom. I would post a simplified chart, but I fear it would crash the website. Needless to say, just assume that if there is rye present, go diagonal. From there, one can begin to unravel the mystery of true sandwich mastery.


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## Douglas Brisbane Gray (Jun 7, 2010)

I usualy eat iregular shaped bread like cobs and bloomers (Which do not really have corners) so I cut to fit the bread, i don't eat Chorley Wood proccess bread at all.


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## Bricktop (Feb 10, 2010)

Prole that I am, cross cut.


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## chamjoe (Oct 26, 2009)

all of my round bread is cut on a diagonal.


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## Shawl Lapel (Jul 5, 2010)

If I cut the bread at all, it's usually a straight cut.


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## Country Irish (Nov 10, 2005)

Cutting the bread into slices seems to be the limit of my endurance. Straight and diagonal cuts mean the meat must endure the blade. This means the metallic taste is transferred to the meat. This is almost as bad as putting A1 sauce on a steak or mayonnaise on pastrami. Meat should taste like meat.

On another note, those diagonal slices are a bit effeminate.


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

Country Irish: I can only hope that your response is a joke, as it does not stand up to scrutiny. How else do you cut your steaks? Seems to me like it will have to endure the blade. Besides, steak and pastrami already have salt on them, which seems to defeat meat tasting like meat.


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## Country Irish (Nov 10, 2005)

jovan,
Yes it was intended as a joke. It was a silly poll which got a silly response. I guess I should plaster the post with smiley characters but expected any reader to deduce the obvious. I appologise if I slandered your sandwich style.
I try to be liberal about how people cut their sandwiches so I say live and let live when you cut on the diagonal.
Mayonaise on anything is another matter entirely.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

^^
Silly response? LOL. I say not. For those of us who prefer our meat at it's freshest and really rare, we simply run with the cattle in the field, palpitating their hides with our expert touch, as we run beside them and, when the beast with appropriate marbling is discovered, we simply take a large and satisfying bite out of their a**. Now that's how real men eat their steaks! Only girls eat sandwiches.


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

Country Irish said:


> Mayonaise on anything is another matter entirely.


Mayonaise is for egg salad only!!


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

Country Irish said:


> jovan,
> Yes it was intended as a joke. It was a silly poll which got a silly response. I guess I should plaster the post with smiley characters but expected any reader to deduce the obvious. I appologise if I slandered your sandwich style.
> I try to be liberal about how people cut their sandwiches so I say live and let live when you cut on the diagonal.
> Mayonaise on anything is another matter entirely.


 You never know, given the sort of opinions bandied about on the internet. Your response was plausible as an honest opinion!


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## 12345Michael54321 (Mar 6, 2008)

Some years back, I was on the executive committee of a special investigatory panel, funded by the US Dept. of Agriculture, to determine optimal bread slice shape (sandwich parameters). After 6 years of effort (including 4 winter trips to Hawaii, 3 springtime visits to Paris to keep abreast of European bread slice shape activities, and the occasional weekend conference in Vegas), our findings (+/- 0.7 standard deviations of certainty) were that slicing the bread diagonally AND removing its crust results in a synergistic situation whereby sandwich consumption enjoyment (SCE) is locally maximized.

Phase II of our efforts was to determine whether these findings were cross-bread-type variant, or whether there was general white/wheat/rye/pumpernickel cross-type consistency. But just as we were getting underway, our committee co-chair's mistress was found to have gone to Yemen at committee expense for her butt-lift surgery, and in the resulting scandal over misuse of funds, the panel's mandate was withdrawn, and we were disbanded.

There was some hope that we might be reconstituted for a narrowly defined 2 yr. determinative fact-finding, involving a close liaise with the House Select Investigative Exploration Panel on Possible Bias Against Gay, Lesbian, Cross-Dressed, and Transgendered Sandwich Consumers in Federal School Lunch Program Funding (the HSIEPPBAGLCDTSCFSLPF), on whether the diagonal cut/crust removal synergy possesses a gender bias component. But with the Republicans having wrenched control of the House from the Democrats, it's no longer realistic to believe that Rep. Stroehmann will be able to secure the necessary $82.5 million in initial organizational funding needed and for construction of a Museum of Diagonally Cut Sandwiches in his district. So at least for the time being, research into this matter - which could have vital national security implications - is at a standstill.

I'm wearing my brown Allen Edmonds Hillcrest Oxfords with chinos this morning.
-- 
Michael


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

12345Michael54321 said:


> But with the Republicans having wrenched control of the House from the Democrats, it's no longer realistic to believe that Rep. Stroehmann will be able to secure the necessary $82.5 million in initial organizational funding needed and for construction of a Museum of Diagonally Cut Sandwiches in his district. So at least for the time being, research into this matter - which could have vital national security implications - is at a standstill.


Don't lose Hope, friend, funding may be passed during the Congressional lame duck session. That will stick it to those Tea Party Yokels!!


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

I'm one of those weird people who actually likes crust on bread, skin on potatoes (mashed or otherwise), and pulp in orange juice. Without them, those foods just... _lack_ something.


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## Country Irish (Nov 10, 2005)

eagle2250 said:


> ^^
> Silly response? LOL. I say not. For those of us who prefer our meat at it's freshest and really rare, we simply run with the cattle in the field, palpitating their hides with our expert touch, as we run beside them and, when the beast with appropriate marbling is discovered, we simply take a large and satisfying bite out of their a**. Now that's how real men eat their steaks! Only girls eat sandwiches.


Ah, a true man among men.


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## Country Irish (Nov 10, 2005)

Jovan said:


> You never know, given the sort of opinions bandied about on the internet. Your response was plausible as an honest opinion!


I have been known to cut a sandwich but only in compassion to feed another. (How's that for a line of Blarney?)


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## Country Irish (Nov 10, 2005)

12345Michael54321 said a lot of things which I am dubious. The reason I doubt is because it is obvious that there is an answer to the funding shortage. You simply need a little inside information. Go directly to President Obama and tell him that if you can cut sandwiches in the study, that you will make sure they are all peanut butter. This will insure that not only will the study proceed, but Obama will be hanging around to be sure all of the PB is eaten. This is a sure fire plan but be sure never to cut HIS sandwich.


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## Country Irish (Nov 10, 2005)

Jovan said:


> I'm one of those weird people who actually likes crust on bread, skin on potatoes (mashed or otherwise), and pulp in orange juice. Without them, those foods just... _lack_ something.


Yes, I prefer to chew my orange juice also.


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

Some of you people have got too much time on your hands & too much brain capacity going to waste!


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