# And Jesus had a pet dinosaur too...........



## Karl89 (Feb 20, 2005)

Gents,

What happens when you mix dubious theology and an unsophisticated audience?

Robertson is an idiot (lots of them go to Yale it seems.)

https://edition.cnn.com/2010/US/01/13/haiti.pat.robertson/index.html?eref=edition


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

Was the dinosaur Dorothy of Wiggles fame?


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## harvey_birdman (Mar 10, 2008)

I think "Dinosaur" is code for something.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

Karl89, on this subject, I am in total agreement with you...Robertson is an Idiot! However, laying blame on our Savior for this moron seems misdirected. While by our Savior's grace, even idiots such as Robertson may enjoy forgiveness and someday pass through the Pearly Gates, it was when the good Lord crated man and granted same the capability of "free will" that the Pat Robertson's of our world became a reality. It's the frequent exercise of that free will that puts our world at great hazard and seems to regularly get us in trouble. Oops! Did I really type that?


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## beherethen (Jun 6, 2009)

At least his co-host is hot. I think the real idiots are those sending him money. :devil:


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

At this point an entire series of comedy videos could be compiled from Robertson, Falwell and their ilk. Every evil that has ever befallen the Earth has been due to liberals, women or gay people:

"Lord, give us righteous judges who will not try to legislate and dominate this society. Take control, Lord! We ask for additional vacancies on the court." -Pat Robertson

"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history." -Pat Robertson

"I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don't think I'd be waving those flags in God's face if I were you, This is not a message of hate -- this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It'll bring about terrorist bombs; it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor." -Pat Robertson, on Gay Day at Disneyworld

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." -Pat Robertson

"I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period." -Pat Robertson

"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected him from your city. And don't wonder why he hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for his help because he might not be there." --Pat Robertson, after the city of Dover, Pennsylvania voted to boot the current school board, which instituted an intelligent design policy that led to a federal trial

"God considers this land to be his. You read the Bible and he says 'This is my land,' and for any prime minister of Israel who decides he is going to carve it up and give it away, God says, 'No, this is mine.' ... He was dividing God's land. And I would say, 'Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the E.U., the United Nations, or the United States of America.' God says, 'This land belongs to me. You better leave it alone.'" --Pat Robertson, on why Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffered a massive stroke

"Maybe we need a very small nuke thrown off on Foggy Bottom to shake things up" -Pat Robertson, on nuking the State Department

"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war ... We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with." -Pat Robertson, calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez

"It may be a blessing in disguise. Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. Haitians were originally under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon the third, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it's a deal. Ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other." -Pat Robertson, on the earthquake in Haiti that destroyed the capital and killed tens of thousands of people, Jan. 13, 2010

"That was never in the Constitution, however much the liberals laugh at me for saying it, they know good and well it was never in the Constitution! Such language only appeared in the constitution of the Communist Soviet Union." -Pat Robertson, on the constitutional separation of church and state

"Well, I totally concur." -Pat Robertson to Jerry Falwell following the Sept. 11 attacks, after Falwell said, "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say: "You helped this happen." You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war ... We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with." -Pat Robertson, calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez

"Wait a minute, I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should 'take him out,' and 'take him out' can be a number of things, including kidnapping." -Pat Robertson, clarifying his call to assassinate Hugo Chavez

"Is it right to call for assassination? No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man _who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him_." -Pat Robertson


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## chatsworth osborne jr. (Feb 2, 2008)

I disagree with Roberston on Chavez.


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## theCardiffGiant (Sep 16, 2007)

Our savior? Saved us from what? The failure of his own shortsighted creation?


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## Cruiser (Jul 21, 2006)

eagle2250 said:


> Karl89, on this subject, I am in total agreement with you...Robertson is an Idiot! However, laying blame on our Savior for this moron seems misdirected. While by our Savior's grace, even idiots such as Robertson may enjoy forgiveness and someday pass through the Pearly Gates, it was when the good Lord crated man and granted same the capability of "free will" that the Pat Robertson's of our world became a reality. It's the frequent exercise of that free will that puts our world at great hazard and seems to regularly get us in trouble.


I could not agree more. Well, maybe with everything but that part about us being "crated" by the good Lord, although I am sure that He has considered doing that to me on occasion. I'm just praying that when I get to those Pearly Gates the Lord isn't wearing a 3 rolled to 2 jacket and brown shoes with his gray suit. If he is, I'm in real trouble. :icon_smile_big:

Cruiser


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## young guy (Jan 6, 2005)

theCardiffGiant said:


> Our savior? Saved us from what? The failure of his own shortsighted creation?


oh-oh, sounds like we got us a unbeliever in our midst boys, perhaps what we have here is a failur to communicate, either that or my little pointy head didnt understand this right LOL


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

FrankDC said:


> "The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." -Pat Robertson


Robertson interviewed my ex-wife??


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

Cruiser said:


> I could not agree more. Well, maybe with everything but that part about us being "crated" by the good Lord, although I am sure that He has considered doing that to me on occasion. I'm just praying that when I get to those Pearly Gates the Lord isn't wearing a 3 rolled to 2 jacket and brown shoes with his gray suit. If he is, I'm in real trouble. :icon_smile_big:
> 
> Cruiser


LOL...Busted! Now the question remains, is my problem spelling or proof reading, or perhaps both eek. Cruiser, with all of our flaws, we better stack the deck in our favor, as much as we can. LOL, I'm pretty sure the Lord is TRAD and conservative (perhaps even a Republican!). While I am planning to make the transition attired in my old military uniform, perhaps you could go TRAD ()? If so, get out there and buy yourself a sack jacket, with a 3R2, some OCBD's, chinos, and penny loafers (or Long Wings!). I am available for hire as a 'heavenly image consultant'!


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

FrankDC said:


> No, God is a big black lesbian from Berkeley named Esquasha Washington.
> 
> All Trads are sent to the Fourth Circle of Hell, and spend 1500 years living in polyester leisure suits, white tubesocks and double monks.


1. She got the job because she is so well spoken and fair skinned!!

2. :crazy:


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

eagle2250 said:


> I'm pretty sure the Lord is TRAD and conservative (perhaps even a Republican!).


No, God is a big black militant lesbian from Berkeley named Esquasha Washington. Trust me on this one. When Jesus said prostitutes and tax collectors were entering heaven before his own apostles, he wasn't joking. Closed-minded people are in for the ultimate horror, and absolute worst sentence.

The good news is, trads get off relatively easy. They're sent to the Fourth Circle of Hell, and spend 1500 years living in polyester leisure suits, white tubesocks and double monks.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

^^
Phew!! I'm actually somewhat relieved by your conclusion. I thought my eternal fate might be something really, really bad...like spending eternity in the company of the likes of Harry Reid or Nancy Pelosi eek!! LOL...maniacally. :crazy:


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## harland (Oct 13, 2008)

Pat Robertson should write and direct a history of the world. Comic gold I tells ya!


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## TMMKC (Aug 2, 2007)

eagle2250 said:


> While by our Savior's grace, even idiots such as Robertson may enjoy forgiveness and someday pass through the Pearly Gates....


Not so fast, Cappy. I'm convinced Robertson should be spending his golden years worrying about how much burn ointment to take into the afterlife than fretting about whether God or the Devil are settling scores over mankind's bad behavior. In my book, he's no man of God. An alarmist, buffoonish, hate-mongering, increasingly senile and irrelevant piece of bat guano...but no man of God.:icon_smile_big: I pity the poor suckers who still give him money.


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

TMMKC said:


> Not so fast, Cappy. I'm convinced Robertson should be spending his golden years worrying about how much burn ointment to take into the afterlife than fretting about whether God or the Devil are settling scores over mankind's bad behavior. In my book, he's no man of God. An alarmist, buffoonish, hate-mongering, increasingly senile and irrelevant piece of bat guano...but no man of God.:icon_smile_big: I pity the poor suckers who still give him money.


Hell has had to open wide and swallow hard in this current generation.. Jerry Falwell, Jesse Helms etc. If these people aren't antichrist they've got to be something close to it.


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## lovemeparis (May 20, 2006)

*Let's talk about GOD...*



theCardiffGiant said:


> Our savior? Saved us from what? *The failure of his own shortsighted creation*?


and I'm one of his creation... whether you like it or not :icon_smile_big::icon_smile_big::icon_smile_big:


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## Relayer (Nov 9, 2005)

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." –Pat Robertson

I've never listened to Pat Robertson, but I think we can all agree that he got this one pretty much correct!

Come on, now.


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## lovemeparis (May 20, 2006)

FrankDC said:


> "Lord, give us righteous judges who will not try to legislate and dominate this society. Take control, Lord! We ask for additional vacancies on the court." -Pat Robertson
> 
> "Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history." -Pat Robertson
> 
> "I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don't think I'd be waving those flags in God's face if I were you, This is not a message of hate -- this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It'll bring about terrorist bombs; it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor." -Pat Robertson, on Gay Day at Disneyworld


*Do be careful of what you are asking for... it might come true*



FrankDC said:


> "The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." -Pat Robertson
> 
> I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period." -Pat Robertson


*So, you mean GOD is sexist? Prove it.*



FrankDC said:


> "God considers this land to be his. You read the Bible and he says 'This is my land,' and for any prime minister of Israel who decides he is going to carve it up and give it away, God says, 'No, this is mine.' ... He was dividing God's land. And I would say, 'Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the E.U., the United Nations, or the United States of America.' God says, 'This land belongs to me. You better leave it alone.'" --Pat Robertson, on why Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffered a massive stroke


*Sorry, I did not know that GOD is a thief... Where can I find it in the Bible?*



FrankDC said:


> "Wait a minute, I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should 'take him out,' and 'take him out' can be a number of things, including kidnapping." -Pat Robertson, clarifying his call to assassinate Hugo Chavez
> 
> "Is it right to call for assassination? No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man _who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him_." -Pat Robertson


*So, GOD is here to destroy whoever or whatever he does not like? Humm, I wonder... what you mean really.*


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## Phinn (Apr 18, 2006)

*Danny Glover, scientist*

If you think Pat Robertson's funny, check out this bone-head:

Certified genius and public intellectual Danny Glover (_Die Hard_, _Shooter_) informs us that the earthquake in Haiti was caused by ..... wait for it .... Global Warming.



> "When we see what we did at the climate summit in Copenhagen, *this is the response*, this is what happens, you know what I'm sayin'?"


No, actually, I don't see what you're saying.


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

lovemeparis said:


> *Do be careful of what you are asking for... it might come true*
> 
> *So, you mean GOD is sexist? Prove it.*
> 
> ...


You do understand these are Pat Robertson quotes, not mine. Right?


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## Karl89 (Feb 20, 2005)

Frank,



FrankDC said:


> No, God is a big black militant lesbian from Berkeley named Esquasha Washington. Trust me on this one. When Jesus said prostitutes and tax collectors were entering heaven before his own apostles, he wasn't joking. Closed-minded people are in for the ultimate horror, and absolute worst sentence.
> 
> The good news is, trads get off relatively easy. They're sent to the Fourth Circle of Hell, and spend 1500 years living in polyester leisure suits, white tubesocks and double monks.


Hell is other people. This forum proves it.

Karl


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## young guy (Jan 6, 2005)

FrankDC said:


> You do understand these are Pat Robertson quotes, not mine. Right?


oh come on Frank, everyone knows you and Pat have never been seen in the same place at the same time - LOL

i wonder who could have made me say that? could it be......satin? (or is that satan hmmmmm)


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## LanceW (Jun 2, 2009)

Where was the pet dinosaur?


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

young guy said:


> oh come on Frank, everyone knows you and Pat have never been seen in the same place at the same time - LOL
> 
> i wonder who could have made me say that? could it be......satin? (or is that satan hmmmmm)


:icon_smile_big: I wish you could see the Robertson impression a buddy of mine does, it's the funniest thing I've ever seen.


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## young guy (Jan 6, 2005)




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## young guy (Jan 6, 2005)

or my favorite a more macho jesus


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

Phinn said:


> If you think Pat Robertson's funny, check out this bone-head:
> 
> Certified genius and public intellectual Danny Glover (_Die Hard_, _Shooter_) informs us that the earthquake in Haiti was caused by ..... wait for it .... Global Warming.
> 
> No, actually, I don't see what you're saying.


Danny Glover wasn't in _Die Hard_. Perhaps you are thinking of _Lethal Weapon_?


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## Phinn (Apr 18, 2006)

Jovan said:


> Danny Glover wasn't in _Die Hard_. Perhaps you are thinking of _Lethal Weapon_?


CRAP!!! Age gets us all eventually.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

Karl89 said:


> Frank,
> 
> Hell is other people. This forum proves it.
> 
> Karl


LOL! Is this just another way of saying, happiness is where we find it(!)?


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## Orsini (Apr 24, 2007)

Man, this rant is really from serious squaresville. It is not moderate.


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## zblaesi (Dec 30, 2009)

Pat Robertson is an idiot. Yet, that says nothing about Christianity. Many politicians say things which are just as stupid, but that does not necessarily mean their political ideologies are without merit. I would say Pat Robertson does not represent Christianity, but that is untrue. For many, Pat Robertson does represent Christianity; that's why his comments are so controversial. However, there are many other thoughtful Christians and theologians who would condemn Robertson as severely as the non-religious. 

On the other hand, it's far too easy to call Robertson an idiot and move on. His comments are consistent with his worldview. I mean, if you believe that God continues to punish nations for immorality - directly or indirectly - then it is not a huge stretch to blame natural disasters and wars on the immoral actions of the nations affected. Thus, Pat Robertson views attacks and disasters within the borders of America through the lenses of abortion, which he considers a grave offense against God. He probably considers himself a contemporary prophet. (Remember: in the Bible, prophets spoke out against the injustices of their times, often predicting wars and disasters in the event that people refuse to repent.)

In my mind, there are two important reasons why Robertson's recent comments are so controversial and repulsive. First, Robertson did not provide any evidence to back up his claims about Haiti. People watch Robertson as if he is an authority, so he has a responsibility to thoroughly investigate his "history" before he speaks to viewers throughout the nation. "True story." So much for scholarly modesty, eh? Second, even if Haiti made a pact with the devil, this is not the time to bring it up. It's like a young girl getting raped and someone saying, "Well... she did dress like a slut."

Finally, I think Robertson made his comments out of fear, but missed the big picture in the process. Robertson probably thinks natural disasters like this will cause people to bring their faith into question. So while he wants to motivate people to pray and help out, he also wants to provide an explanation for why such an evil has occurred. Unfortunately, Robertson's explanation is far from satisfactory. If anything, God - not the devil - is to be blamed for this situation. Robertson sidesteps the problem of evil for a convenient explanation.


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

One could spend hours detailing why what Robertson and his ilk preach is not authentic Christianity, and one could do so quite easily, simply by quoting the man these false prophets claim as their savior.

E.g. Luke 13: "Those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? I tell you, no!"

Robertson and his ilk wear the same thin Jesus mask over the same seething cesspool of hatred and evil. The older I get, the more into razor sharp focus this antichristianity becomes.


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## beherethen (Jun 6, 2009)

What bothers me about this is the inconsistency. If God is punishing Haiti for whatever, why is Robertson collecting money to thwart the will of that same God. A cynic might think he was using the money for his own ends. At any rate the girl is hot.:icon_smile:


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## zblaesi (Dec 30, 2009)

beherethen said:


> What bothers me about this is the inconsistency. If God is punishing Haiti for whatever, why is Robertson collecting money to thwart the will of that same God. A cynic might think he was using the money for his own ends. At any rate the girl is hot.:icon_smile:


Interesting point. I never looked at it that way.

I guess Robertson might think that God isn't directly responsible for the natural disaster. Rather, it's the devil revealing his true nature. Yet, God certainly could have stopped the event if he wanted to. So God was indirectly responsible for the tragedy - and some might argue that in allowing the devil to act, God was punishing the immorality. Either way, your point stands, I think.


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## zblaesi (Dec 30, 2009)

FrankDC said:


> One could spend hours detailing why what Robertson and his ilk preach is not authentic Christianity, and one could do so quite easily, simply by quoting the man these false prophets claim as their savior.
> 
> E.g. Luke 13: "Those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them-do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? I tell you, no!"
> 
> Robertson and his ilk wear the same thin Jesus mask over the same seething cesspool of hatred and evil. The older I get, the more into razor sharp focus this antichristianity becomes.


I agree, but there are many other passages which detail God's dealings with nations within history. Robertson might just say, "God doesn't change. He punished nations back then, he punishes them today."

I'm just trying to say that it is too easy to call Robertson an idiot and say he doesn't represent Christianity. He probably believes he has a solid basis for his pronouncements.


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## lovemeparis (May 20, 2006)

*Who is the girl?*



beherethen said:


> What bothers me about this is the inconsistency. If God is punishing Haiti for whatever, why is Robertson collecting money to thwart the will of that same God. A cynic might think he was using the money for his own ends. *At any rate the girl is hot*.:icon_smile:


Who, what girl? We have a girl on this forum?

If so, I'm better than hot... :icon_smile_big::icon_smile_big::icon_smile_big:


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## Phinn (Apr 18, 2006)

FrankDC said:


> One could spend hours detailing why what Robertson and his ilk preach is not authentic Christianity ...


One could spend hours debating whether a lightsaber could cut through Superman, but it doesn't mean that it's worth the time to do so.


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

I don't know. If you are Superman and need to be protected, it might be worth gathering as much information as possible.

I should think that a lot would depend on the Kryptonite percentages in the lightsaber.


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

Or if a Jedi could dodge or deflect a phaser set to wide beam...










:icon_smile_big:


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## lovemeparis (May 20, 2006)

*The Battle of Galaxia...*

A pieace of cake... just jump over the laser and destroy the target!!!

:idea::idea::idea:


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## lovemeparis (May 20, 2006)

*Moses, Moses, Moses...*



LanceW said:


> Where was the pet dinosaur?


May be here... :icon_smile_big:

https://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/03/29/feiler.moses.easter.passover/index.html?hpt=C2


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