# Daddy Needs Help



## rgrossicone (Jan 27, 2008)

Fellas-

I just became a new daddy on June 22. A beautiful, healthy baby girl, Breuckelen Viviana Houstoun. I'm absolutely beaming and in love all over again, but at the same time, I'm scared to death. I have read all the books, so I've heard all the typical stuff...anything else that the books don't say? I would appreciate any help you guys can offer! Thanks.

Rob


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

Congratulations! As to advice, although it might be a little late, I'll offer this tidbit in case you get another shot:

Don't give your kid an obnoxious name.


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## Asterix (Jun 7, 2005)

Congratulations my good man. May your daughter be a constant source of pride and joy to you and your entire family.


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## fenway (May 2, 2006)

How 'bout a picture so we can all ooh and aah?


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

Keep her away from the turkeys of the world.


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

Good advice. I can only imagine how much a girl named after a generic war movie character would have fared in my kindergarten class. With a pretentious spelling, no less.


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

Kav said:


> Keep her away from the turkeys of the world.


Somehow I doubt that will be a problem, unless she happens to be attracted to boors.


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

Well, it's all relative. If you think I'm being hard, or, gasp, ungentlemanly-- wait until she gets to school.


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

As an anthropologist I am fascinated. In all my reading of Cajun folklore I cannot recall any mention of trolls, and with kindergarden educations no less.


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

I said I was from New Orleans. As an educated person, I know that doesn't make me a Cajun... they're from a different part of the state, you know?


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## MichaelS (Nov 14, 2005)

Laxplayer said:


> Somehow I doubt that will be a problem, unless she happens to be attracted to boors.


Agree!

Some real advice, learn how to ignore almost any bodily fluid as she will manage to get some or all of it on you from time to time (there is no way to avoid this if you even pick her up not to mention changing diapers or sitting up with a sick child). It really isn't a big deal and it will all wash off!

That and have fun. It is frightening but at least in our case, it did get better (untill they both turned about 14). Adolescent girls are very different from boys and will drive you nuts at least a few times. I am onthe computer this late on a Sat night as my youngest deughter(17) is out with friends and one of us is always up until she comes home.

Michael


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

PedanticTurkey said:


> Well, it's all relative. If you think I'm being hard, or, gasp, ungentlemanly-- wait until she gets to school.


Nah, I just think you're being an asshole. I mean, what do you care what his kid's name is? 
I guess you have your internet shtick to uphold though, so carry on.


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

I would imagine being home schooled in the back of an oyster shucking shed with the Kingfish's photo on the wall, Field and Stream as the primer and Clifton Chenier for music education would make one hostile to names besides Pierre Alonzo Thibiduex or Beauregard Jackson Lee.


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## TheWardrobeGirl (Mar 24, 2008)

Congratulations on your little girl! One of the greatest bonds in the world is between father and daughter


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

Well, you're the expert on manners. When someone asks you for advice, is it better to hold your tongue to avoid offending some third party on the internet, or to give them an honest opinion?

And, let me tell you-- it's my honest opinion that giving your kid a "unique" name, with a pretentious spelling no less, isn't going to do her any good in the future. That's my advice, like it or not.


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

Kav said:


> I would imagine being home schooled in the back of an oyster shucking shed with the Kingfish's photo on the wall, Field and Stream as the primer and Clifton Chenier for music education would make one hostile to names besides Pierre Alonzo Thibiduex or Beauregard Jackson Lee.


That's very clever. Good dodge on the whole "Cajun country" thing, too.


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## MichaelS (Nov 14, 2005)

PedanticTurkey said:


> Well, you're the expert on manners. When someone asks you for advice, is it better to hold your tongue to avoid offending some third party on the internet, or to give them an honest opinion?
> 
> And, let me tell you-- it's my honest opinion that giving your kid a "unique" name, with a pretentious spelling no less, isn't going to do her any good in the future. That's my advice, like it or not.


Bonehead:

He asked for advice, not your personal judgemet on the name they gave their child. Only a real bonehead would presume to pass judgement on someone's name. Respond in the tone in which the question was asked. Although you have clearly angered some of us, no one really gives a rat's butt what you think of the child's name.


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

Emily Post or Miss Manners you ain't. Your pissant invective is about as welcome as fire ants on Mardi Gras beads. IGNORE BUTTON


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

How are you going to learn about history or geography without me, Kav?

And if you ask for advice, you damn well ought to be prepared for judgment. Otherwise it's just fluff.


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## Spence (Feb 28, 2006)

Wow, did some think the initial thread was a troll? I'm a bit aghast and embarrassed at a few of these responses...

Rob, just be prepared for the unexpected. It's both much harder and easier than it looks!

-spence


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

PedanticTurkey said:


> Well, you're the expert on manners. When someone asks you for advice, is it better to hold your tongue to avoid offending some third party on the internet, or to give them an honest opinion?
> 
> And, let me tell you-- it's my honest opinion that giving your kid a "unique" name, with a pretentious spelling no less, isn't going to do her any good in the future. That's my advice, like it or not.


I didn't say I was an expert on manners. I just said you were being an asshole, but that is your purpose here right?

-calling it as I see it.

btw, Kav...Brett Favre is a cajun! Go Pack!


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

Brett Favre is from South Mississippi. Kiln, specifically. I know the town. I know where his parents live on the Rotten Bayou. 

He might be of some distant Acadian origin, but he's definitely not a Cajun. Have you heard the guy talk? He sounds a lot more like Bilbo than Boudreaux.


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

PedanticTurkey said:


> Brett Favre is from South Mississippi. Kiln, specifically. I know the town. I know where his parents live on the Rotten Bayou.
> 
> He might be of some distant Acadian origin, but he's definitely not a Cajun. Have you heard the guy talk? He sounds a lot more like Bilbo than Boudreaux.


He published a family cookbook, _Three Generations of Cajun and Creole Cooking._ That is where I got the idea he was Cajun. Outside of Florida, I have only been to the South a few times...Memphis, Nashville and Atlanta. I don't even know what Bilbo and Boudreaux are.


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

Not surprising. South Mississippi isn't exactly known for its cooking.


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

I treasure the brief time I spent in NO and later in cajun country with my service roommate. It's amazing how the one unique culture of Louisianna is denied by those lacking any. So mentioning cajun is like poking them with a pecan tree pole. Real cajuns, like my two brother friends in Baton Rouge and NO, one an architect and the other a DVM who participate on my website forum have a french epitath for these .


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

Bilbo is a surname that as far as I know is only common in South Mississippi. Boudreaux is just the archetypal (is that the word?) Cajun name. I've never actually met a Boudreaux, but I've met a lot of Bilboes.


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

Kav said:


> I treasure the brief time I spent in NO and later in cajun country with my service roommate. It's amazing how the one unique culture of Louisianna is denied by those lacking any. So mentioning cajun is like poking them with a pecan tree pole. Real cajuns, like my two brother friends in Baton Rouge and NO, one an architect and the other a DVM who participate on my website forum have a french epitath for these .


You know "Cajuns" from Baton Rouge and New Orleans. Let me guess, were they Baptists?

Bleh. Why I do I doubt that you've ever even met an actual Cajun?


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## ajo (Oct 22, 2007)

rgrossicone said:


> Fellas-
> 
> I just became a new daddy on June 22. A beautiful, healthy baby girl, Breuckelen Viviana Houstoun. I'm absolutely beaming and in love all over again, but at the same time, I'm scared to death. I have read all the books, so I've heard all the typical stuff...anything else that the books don't say? I would appreciate any help you guys can offer! Thanks.
> 
> Rob


Congratulations, most of all enjoy the life change. I found that by talking to other parents who had similar aged children it allowed me to discuss the specifics of my sons growth and development and they understood the lack of sleep.

If you haven't done it already, organise a nappy service ASAP, daily is best to begin with for it will be one of the best career moves you can make.

Nothing to be scared about you'll be surprised by your own ability and confidence as you get used to her presence and the role you have to play.

Oh and forget the dark colours for a while there's nothing worse than baby stains, but most of all enjoy.


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

As much as I enjoy hearing about Kav's appreciation of "Cajun" culture he learned (among many other things!) that one time he wandered a little too far down Bourbon Street--has anyone noticed that, aside from "ajo," I'm the only person to have offered any substantive advice to the OP?


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## Journeyman (Mar 28, 2005)

Congratulations on the new addition to the family.

There's a lot that could be said about feeding, sleeping, changing and all the rest, but I think that there is one thing that stands out above all others - trust your wife and support her as much as you can. 

Don't forget that in all likelihood your wife is even more exhausted, uncertain and confused than you are - and she's suffering from a flood of hormones to boot. 

Best of luck - being a parent is simultaneously exhilarating and exhausting. It's a wonderful experience.


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## rgrossicone (Jan 27, 2008)

Journeyman said:


> Congratulations on the new addition to the family.
> 
> There's a lot that could be said about feeding, sleeping, changing and all the rest, but I think that there is one thing that stands out above all others - trust your wife and support her as much as you can.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the tips guys. Since my wife is nursing, my sleeping schedle hasn't been thrown off too much. I just get up when the baby cries, make sure she's all good, and go back to sleep. I do try and give my wife some nap breaks during the day (we both teach so the timing is perfect-all summer together as a family). I've already read to her (some Walt Whitman in fact) and we've danced a few (I'm no Gene Kelly) but she went to sleep. I've even changed two diapers, one of each bodily function. I've been spit up on and peed on all in the matter of 6 days and 18 hours, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Oh, she loves the car, already a couple of trips to the gradparents. Again, thanks for your well wishes and words...as far as adolescence is concerned...I can't wait...:crazy:


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## MichaelS (Nov 14, 2005)

rgrossicone said:


> Thanks for the tips guys. Since my wife is nursing, my sleeping schedle hasn't been thrown off too much. I just get up when the baby cries, make sure she's all good, and go back to sleep. I do try and give my wife some nap breaks during the day (we both teach so the timing is perfect-all summer together as a family). I've already read to her (some Walt Whitman in fact) and we've danced a few (I'm no Gene Kelly) but she went to sleep. I've even changed two diapers, one of each bodily function. I've been spit up on and peed on all in the matter of 6 days and 18 hours, but I wouldn't change it for the world.
> 
> Oh, she loves the car, already a couple of trips to the gradparents. Again, thanks for your well wishes and words...as far as adolescence is concerned...I can't wait...:crazy:


Just remember, that when she reaches adolescence and you get crowds of hormone crazed boys bouncing off of the trees in your yard like June Bugs on a porch light in mid June, they don't let you shoot the most crazy ones anymore, not even with rock salt! (Fourteen year ld boys are generally pretty easy to scare though). ;-)

(You have to start changing more diapers!)


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

My advice would be to take a lot of pictures. They change so quickly, and you will be glad you have those pictures in a few years.


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

Digital cameras are great, aren't they?

Just make sure that you take care to save the pictures in such a way that they won't be lost when your computer crashes.


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## Country Irish (Nov 10, 2005)

Congratulations!
Our fellow forum members have offered an interesting array of information but I have a slightly different perspective since I have seen a lot of kids born and raised with varied results. Yes I guess that means I am getting old.
The first concern is actually believing all of the books on raising a child. They seem to be OK for general background information but trying to implement specific advice is problematic. Your child is unique and you will make multiple judgment calls every day specific to the child's individual needs. If you follow the advice of the so called experts you will be disappointed since your child is unlikely to follow the rules and norms specified in the books. Remember the books are there to scavenge the excess money of worried parents.
Starting now just do the best you can to care for the child and guide them to being the best person they can be. They may not end up as you imagine but it is seldom that we end up where our parents wanted us to be.
The good news is that as the baby learns you will learn and hopefully stay one step ahead. It all works out so relax...after the next diaper change.


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## Country Irish (Nov 10, 2005)

I just read through to the boy problems. That's easy. Start with Thai Chi for discipline and move on to Taekwondo when she is twelve. The classes are for both of you. Otherwise she will be able to kick you around the house when she is 15. The boys will be extra nice to the girl they fear.


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

I'm a bit late, I see, but congratulations, R!!!! Love should get you through the occasional error you are bound to make. Remember, she probably won't even know you made the error as long as there is plenty of love. (However, this is from someone who has no children, but I have helped baby sit, etc. a lot, for what it's worth.)

(Besides, while you are clearly a devoted teacher, don't you still have the occasional error/learning experience that makes you an even better teacher??)

Good luck. I'm really glad for you and your wife that your schedule allows you to totally devote yourself to helping your baby through these hectic first months. Don't forget to support your wife as a woman and an adult in addition to her role as mother.


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

I think the best thing you can do for a small child is to nurture curiosity. Talk to her, encourage her to ask questions, and discuss your answers with her. When she's older, set aside some time every day to talk about anything she likes.


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

PedanticTurkey said:


> I think the best thing you can do for a small child is to nurture curiosity. Talk to her, encourage her to ask questions, and discuss your answers with her. When she's older, set aside some time every day to talk about anything she likes.


That is good advice, and I would add to read to your daughter daily. My son loves to read now. It makes me smile to see him point out to me different words or pictures he remembers from previous readings.


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Congrats on the baby RG. Just remember, they actually are pretty hard to break and they probably appreciate the intention, more than the results, of many things.


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## Hobson (Mar 13, 2007)

Congratulations! Just remember that the most valuable things you will every give her are time and love. If those two are covered, everything else falls into place. If you neglect them, nothing will ever make up for it. Look forward to the most rewarding job you will ever have. Oh, and every parent is always scared, don't worry about it.


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

Wayfarer said:


> If I was Brett, I would be hiring security for my parents.


Hah! I knew the place before I ever heard of Brett Favre. Some of my people owned land right on the other side of the bayou.


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## ajo (Oct 22, 2007)

..as far as adolescence is concerned...I can't wait...:crazy:[/QUOTE]

May God have mercy on your soul, and may the intervening years set you straight. My 13yo son is starting to drive me crazy on a hourly basis and while talking with a friend yesterday, he informed me that some boy showed up on their front door last week looking for his daughter, of course he took one look at him and shut the door. He has since then been residing in Siberia as far as his daughter is concerned.:icon_smile_big:


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

Please don't drop your child on her head lest she grow up to be like PT. :devil:

Congratulations!


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## rgrossicone (Jan 27, 2008)

ajo said:


> ..as far as adolescence is concerned...I can't wait...:crazy:


May God have mercy on your soul, and may the intervening years set you straight. My 13yo son is starting to drive me crazy on a hourly basis and while talking with a friend yesterday, he informed me that some boy showed up on their front door last week looking for his daughter, of course he took one look at him and shut the door. He has since then been residing in Siberia as far as his daughter is concerned.:icon_smile_big:[/quote]

There's a great country song called "Cleanin' This Gun (Come On In Boy)" by Rodney Atkins...brilliant! I bought a book for her the day she was born at the B&N down the street from the Hosp...its a book of poems about Brooklyn called "Broken Land"...she nodded off halfway through the first Whitman...I plan on reading her the rest until we finish the book, then on to Goodnight Moon!


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

Don't forget to play classical music! studies have shown exposure helps the mind develop. You might think about a second language tuaght from early age too.


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## Relayer (Nov 9, 2005)

rgrossicone said:


> Fellas-
> 
> I just became a new daddy on June 22. A beautiful, healthy baby girl, Breuckelen Viviana Houstoun. I'm absolutely beaming and in love all over again, but at the same time, I'm scared to death. I have read all the books, so I've heard all the typical stuff...anything else that the books don't say? I would appreciate any help you guys can offer! Thanks.
> 
> Rob


Congratulations.

I have three girls... The oldest (26) was just married 3 weeks ago.

You are blessed. Little girls love their daddy. Be there for her as much as you can. Even at an early age engage in real conversations with her. Doesn't have to be heavy subjects. Ask questions that will encourage her to give some in depth thought (at whatever level she is capable). Kids say the most amazing things. As she grows show your interest in what she thinks.

Strive to be the kind of man that you hope that she will someday marry.

You've got an unbelievable experience ahead of you!


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## ilcatex (Jul 4, 2007)

*Congratulations!*

Congratulations *rgrossicone -

*I am the father of three great boys... the only way to prepare to be a great father is to decide right now, no matter what, that you will love your daughter no matter what! If she knows that you can both handle whatever comes down the road.

And remember that you are her Dad first, and her friend second. This last call is the hard one!


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## Gurdon (Feb 7, 2005)

*Congratulations*

So much advice and good wishes are hard to follow. There seems to be considerable consistency among folks who frequently disagree.

The only thing I can think of to add is to suggest that you take your daughter seriously, something you probably already know as a teacher.

Projectile vomiting is quite remarkable. It helps if you wear eyeglasses.

Best wishes,
Gurdon

PS: A friend from Texas used to make a point to be cleaning his shotguns when a new suitor came calling on his daughter.


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

ksinc said:


> Please don't drop your child on her head lest she grow up to be like PT. :devil:


Oh, he could do a lot worse. Ask your parents what I mean, when you're older.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

PedanticTurkey said:


> Oh, he could do a lot worse. Ask your parents what I mean, when you're older.


Are you my Dad's "con lai?"  I always suspected, but I never came right out and asked.


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

Hahahah.


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## ajo (Oct 22, 2007)

Kav said:


> Don't forget to play classical music! studies have shown exposure helps the mind develop. You might think about a second language tuaght from early age too.


I did this and all the way through the pregnancy, Mahler Mozart, ect but it didn't work, where did I go wrong. Oh well at least now I understand what my Mother said. "just wait till you have children."


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## jbmcb (Sep 7, 2005)

Kav said:


> Don't forget to play classical music! studies have shown exposure helps the mind develop.


Those studies have been pretty thoroughly debunked. The original study was done on college students - it found they tested slightly better in math after listening to Mozart, but the effect only lasted 15 minutes tops. Most of the other "studies" were by companies selling specially formulated CDs and DVDs designed to extract money from parents. Having your child listen to classical music doesn't hurt at all, but it hasn't been proven to do anything to boost brain power.

Teaching your child another language at an appropriate age is a good idea, though.


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## Asterix (Jun 7, 2005)

jbmcb said:


> Those studies have been pretty thoroughly debunked. The original study was done on college students - it found they tested slightly better in math after listening to Mozart, but the effect only lasted 15 minutes tops. Most of the other "studies" were by companies selling specially formulated CDs and DVDs designed to extract money from parents. Having your child listen to classical music doesn't hurt at all, but it hasn't been proven to do anything to boost brain power.
> 
> *Teaching your child another language at an appropriate age is a good idea, though.*


Very good point as I have been exposing my son to various languages via the Rosetta Stone series.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

Indeed. As is saving to send them to Madrid or Paris in the summer after their junior year. It's one thing to travel with Mom and Dad; quite another to get a taste of the world with the Spanish or French Club.


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## MichaelS (Nov 14, 2005)

ksinc said:


> Indeed. As is saving to send them to Madrid or Paris in the summer after their junior year. It's one thing to travel with Mom and Dad; quite another to get a taste of the world with the Spanish or French Club.


Although when my 17 yr old daughter went to Ireland with us for Christmas this year, one advantage of being with Mom and Dad was that she was able to buy beer in a bar which she couldn't have done with the school French or Spanish Club! (We believe it is better to expose them to alcohol and to responsible alcohol use at home than to try to ban alcohol (impossible in reality) and therefore make it the forbidden fruit which some researchers think helps promote binge drinking. That and it let her brag to her friends.)


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

I still say play Mozart and make it an acquired tate. It sure beats a punk rock rendition of Johnny Cash's RING OF FIRE.


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## ajo (Oct 22, 2007)

Kav said:


> I still say play Mozart and make it an acquired tate. It sure beats a punk rock rendition of Johnny Cash's RING OF FIRE.


What! You dont listen to Kronos Quartets version of Purple Haze?


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