# Does anyone here actually understand women?



## burnedandfrozen (Mar 11, 2004)

If so PLEASE enlighten me. I found out yesterday that the young woman I had been seeing off and on for the last five months had and still has a boyfriend. Funny, she never mentioned a boyfriend. Most women usually disclose this info very early on. So basically I was being used although I'm not sure to what end. Is this just something that never stops? I mean I'm in my mid 30's and while I expected my dating years in my 20's to be a training ground of sorts, it seems like nothing ever changes. Is there ever a time when the games just stop?
Have a great day,
Mark


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

When you find the right person, the games stop. The problem is a) finding that person and b) not mistaking someone for being that person, when in fact she is not.

Life is a crap shoot, bet accordingly


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## yachtie (May 11, 2006)

Wayfarer said:


> When you find the right person, the games stop. The problem is a) finding that person and b) not mistaking someone for being that person, when in fact she is not.
> 
> Life is a crap shoot, bet accordingly


That's been my experience as well. I had a good feeling when I met my wife since there was no gamesmanship and she responded well to being treated nicely. Too often I had experienced the chase or be chased garbage. I was a wonderful change of pace to not have to suffer through that.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

Women date like they shop. Women tend to be petty, jealous creatures with either a touch or a lot of low self-esteem. Even Ms. America thinks her nose or her butt is too big and her eyes are crooked or something.

Women almost always end up dis-liking an outfit they saw only in the store. However, if a woman sees another woman looking good in an outfit she will:
1) hate that b*tch
2) find and buy the outfit determined to try to look better in it

This means no woman worth having will want to keep you unless she steals you from another women.

The inverse is, woman persist in assuming men think like women. So, they always have something, someone around so you can steal them too.

If a woman is absolutely free, single when you meet her and start dating she's decided you are either sweet enough (and probably gay) or a big enough jerk, that it will be easy for her to leave you and make you the 'victim' without feeling too guilty. This is why the "women only date jerks" stereotype persists. They do mostly only date jerks, until they find the guy they want to marry. Often the big jerk gets them pregnant and then they marry said jerk screwing up the original plan.

If she has anything going on and has considered you, she's contemplating a change and waiting to see if you are man enough (and cunning/romantic enough) to steal her away. This is something like a "life skills test". If you can handle that well, you can probably raise, feed, and protect a family. If not, what good are you to her?

It's important to figure out where you are in life. If you just want to get laid, be the convenient jerk. If you want to get married, find a hot lady with a jerk and steal her away. 

You may have heard women say, "men are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped." They laugh so hard because they know they aren't really kidding.

IMHO, this should come printed on the back of beer cans.


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## Phinn (Apr 18, 2006)

I invite your attention to the musings of a certain AAAC member who is not only humble, but well-versed in the mysteries of the feminine psyche:



> Women only really care about one thing -- the competitive success of their offspring. To them, you are just the DNA donor, and the economic means of providing certain necessaries during said offspring's tender years. All of the rest (i.e., the love, the affection, the blah blah blah) merely flows from this basic psycho-evolutionary-economic need.


Also, read this.

It sounds like she was comparison shopping.


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## burnedandfrozen (Mar 11, 2004)

Thanks for the great replys so far. Funny how the shopping comparison came up. This gal herself told me about how she buys so much clothes that in order to make room in her closet, she often has to donate outfits she never worn!

I'm not so sure she wants to see if I'll steal her away. She might be testing me to see how much she can get away with using me as a doormat. I mean if things aren't so great with her boyfriend then she's just using me as an exit excuse. Is this right? In the end it all comes down to being used. I saw her has a sweet attractive young woman. With this new development I now see her as a misleading selfish person. If she doesn't like her boyfriend anymore she should just dump him, not use others (like me) as a excuse to do so. Am I right or am I completely off base? I'm off to work so I'll check back this evening.
Thanks,
Mark


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

burnedandfrozen said:


> If so PLEASE enlighten me. I found out yesterday that the young woman I had been seeing off and on for the last five months had and still has a boyfriend. Funny, she never mentioned a boyfriend. Most women usually disclose this info very early on. So basically I was being used although I'm not sure to what end. Is this just something that never stops? I mean I'm in my mid 30's and while I expected my dating years in my 20's to be a training ground of sorts, it seems like nothing ever changes. Is there ever a time when the games just stop?
> Have a great day,
> Mark


In today's world, it's expected that if you want to know the current relationship status of a person -- male or female -- you simply need to ask. It's not her fault you didn't.

As for "being used", that mentality is also a throwback to the last century. Short of a marriage commitment, a person is open game for multiple relationships, sexual and otherwise. Again, if you want to know something, just ask.

But understanding women? Heh. They defy understanding by design.


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## globetrotter (Dec 30, 2004)

B&F,

not to be indelecate, but when you say you were seeing her, were you sleeping with her?


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## jackmccullough (May 10, 2006)

Feel free to consider me a PC scold, but I find the kind of generalization about women I see in this thread and, not infrequently, in others, to be as objectionable as blanket generalizations about racial or ethnic groups.

Hence, the answer to your original question is that the range of variation among women is the same as among men.

With regard to the way this particular young woman has been treating you and her "boyfriend" (funny, you probably thought that was you), it sounds pretty bad. Probably the most charitable explanation is that she thought that your arrangement was nonexclusive, but that hardly justifies her failing to convey that understanding to you. I don't know if it applies to women, but I think the correct advice would be DTMFA.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

burnedandfrozen said:


> Thanks for the great replys so far. Funny how the shopping comparison came up. This gal herself told me about how she buys so much clothes that in order to make room in her closet, she often has to donate outfits she never worn!
> 
> I'm not so sure she wants to see if I'll steal her away. She might be testing me to see how much she can get away with using me as a doormat. I mean if things aren't so great with her boyfriend then she's just using me as an exit excuse. Is this right? In the end it all comes down to being used. I saw her has a sweet attractive young woman. With this new development I now see her as a misleading selfish person. If she doesn't like her boyfriend anymore she should just dump him, not use others (like me) as a excuse to do so. Am I right or am I completely off base? I'm off to work so I'll check back this evening.
> Thanks,
> Mark


I'm sorry, but IMHO you're waaay off base. You still don't get it. She's not using you as an excuse to dump him or she would have dumped him. Fact: she's still with him.

There is no "need an excuse" guy. To re-cap, there's losers (handicapped parking spaces), jerks and future husbands.

You didn't do what I said, which was pick where you are in your life and what you want. It will clear things up for you - if you are looking to get married, it doesn't sound like she's the one. To convince yourself of something else is just self-pity. Sorry bro. As said above, when they are in love with you can hardly do anything wrong. Why? Because they picked you.

If you can't/don't steal her away and marry her, you are either 'just another jerk' or 'a loser' TO HER. She took a look at you. Maybe she was bored. Or she's interested and is/was waiting for you to prove or show her something.

If she's hot and you decide you were either just another jerk to her or failed her marriage test, start taking her out downtown where other hot chics are 'shopping' and one of them will hunt you down in short order. Skip the romantic picnics alone, no one will see you there.


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## lee_44106 (Apr 10, 2006)

A few of my observations.

1. It seems like you have much more "invested" in this relationship than she. You said you having been seeing her "on and off for 5 months." What does this mean? Did you consider this an "exclusive" relationship? She certainly did not. Also, are you also seeing other woman on the side, in addition to her?

2. Forget understanding woman and what they do. They, by definition, defy understanding. I think that men in general like status quo. Once a situation/relationship is to his satisfaction, he doe not want to change. A woman is always looking to tweak the "perfect situation." Don't know why, but that's my experience.

3. When a man is able to act like a man (stand firm in his conviction and tell the woman "NO"), he will engender more affection and respect from the woman.


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## yachtie (May 11, 2006)

Run, don't walk, to the neasest exit for this "relationship". You're wasting your time. There are better women out there.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

Women are always worried a guy is going to 'trade them in for a younger model' or 'trade up', etc. Ask yourself why? Because that's what they do. They assume men think like they do.


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## yachtie (May 11, 2006)

ksinc said:


> Women are always worried a guy is going to 'trade them in for a younger model' or 'trade up', etc. Ask yourself why? Because that's what they do. They assume men think like they do.


Pretty sad, isn't it.


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## whomewhat (Nov 11, 2006)

Well, there is the glass half empty theory:

I like Jack Nicholson's definition in "As Good As It Gets," when his character, Melvin Udall, stated, in describing how he is able to capture how a woman feels so perfectly in his books: *"*I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

Then there is the glass half full theory:

Again, Melvin Udall: "I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, "Spence," and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me."

Then, there is my own theory, which is that accepting that you will never understand a woman is to understand a woman.

I hope one of these helps. :icon_smile:


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

ksinc said:


> Women are always worried a guy is going to 'trade them in for a younger model' or 'trade up', etc. Ask yourself why? Because that's what they do. They assume men think like they do.


Well here's the thing about this, and this is just IMO.

Some women should be worried about this.

If all you bring to a relationship is your good looks, you have to be ready to have that relationship end when you can no longer keep up your part i.e. your good looks. If all you bring to a relationship is money, you have to be ready to have that relationship end if you a) lose a substantial portion of your wealth or b) she finds someone substantially richer than will have her.

That is why, and again just IMO, a relationship based on equality and multiple joint interests is a much stronger one than a relationship based on money and trophy status. Keep in mind I am biased, as I am immensely proud of my wife's academic and career accomplishments. However, ten years into things and neither one of us a spring chicken anymore, and I am even more pleased with our relationship than I was at the start.

YMMV.


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## whomewhat (Nov 11, 2006)

Understanding women is one thing, but finding the right one is an entirely different subject. I previously posted this, on the subject of finding the right person, on another forum and thought it appropriate here given the excellent comments by Wayfarer. Somewhat lengthy, I realize, but then we are talking about falling in love and having that love grow and last. It is a subject worthy of length.

_"As I prepare to celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary this year, as I consider our beautiful 5 children together, I cannot imagine my life having taken any other course. I also cannot imagine concerning myself with some of these things that have been raised and simulataneously stating that I love my wife. _

_I have four older brothers, all of whom have been divorced, a few of them multiple times. Our grandmother left us all an inheritance that we could not collect until our 30th birthday, not a fortune mind you, but a nice some of money. My brothers all maintained the money as separate property, which is permissable for an inheritance, and used it on themselves. I comingled my inheritance and long ago forgot where our family spent the money and on what we used it for (it may have helped us purchase our second home?). There is no "my stuff" and "her stuff." _

_I guess I am just old fashioned in that I believe, literally, that when you get married you cease to be two people and become one united person. When children are born, they become a part of the whole, the family. Everything I have is my wife's, my children's, our families, and if it were not so then we would not be a family. _

_I have a list of "12 questions to ask if thinking about getting engaged." _

_1. Are you better people when you are with each other? Does each of you inspire the other to do his best in studies, jobs, and other significant responsibilities? Or do you both live below your standards and ideals when you are together? _

_2. Does either of you want to date anyone else? If so, you are not yet prepared to give yourself fully to the other. The total commitment necessary in marriage is not possible as long as you are interested in dating someone else. This does not mean that you may not admire persons of the opposite sex or be impressed by them. But it does mean that you will not have a romantic interest in them. _

_3. Do you truly enjoy each other's company? Or do you just enjoy each other when you are doing things you like to do? A hallmark of true love is enjoying the companionship of the other person regardless of the particular activity of the moment. The joy need not come from the activity but just from being together and sharing with each other. The companionship of each other is the primary source of satisfaction, not the activity. _

_4. Do you feel better about yourself when you are with him or her? Do you feel like a person of true worth? Few things in life have more impact on what we become than what we think of ourselves. Our concept of ourselves as persons of true worth are critical. Do you help one another to have more self-esteem, or do you tend to find fault with each other? It is certainly appropriate to encourage each other to improve, but this should be done in a spirit of love. If either of you tends to focus on the other's failings, your love for each other is in question. True love is actively creative-it leads to the discovery of successful methods of improving or contributing to the life of another. _

_5. Are his or her needs as important to you as your own? Do you each find yourself continually looking for appropriate ways to make the other happy? Or are you each seeking your own happiness and interests without first considering those of the other? _

_6. Are you each free to be yourself when you are together or must you always be on guard? Do you need to hide what you really are? Or are you confident that you are fully accepted and loved? Unfortunately, our society sometimes encourages coyness, playing it cool, hiding part of ourselves from others-especially in a dating relationship. In a marriage relationship, however, each partner must be free to be himself. This does not mean that you must share everything; it means that you are free to share when the need arises. This freedom also means that each conscience is clear. You cannot truly accept another without fully accepting yourself. Nor can you fully give of yourself when the barrier of guilt exists._

_7. Are you prepared to marry the family of your prospective mate? While you may think that you only marry one person, in a real sense, you marry into a whole family. The parents of your mate become the grandparents of your children. Do you each feel good about that-and the influence they will have on your children? Even when separated by wide distances, there is still significant involvement with each other's families. Do both of your families support you in your decision to get married and will they support you in future decisions? Unresolved conflicts with one or both sets of parents will place added strains on your relationship._

_8. How do you each treat your own parents? Do you respect them as individuals and respect their position and authority? It is likely that you will treat each other the same way you each treat own family._

_9. How does each of you feel about the other being a parent of your children? Will she be the type of mother that you really wish for your children? And will you want your children to be like her-because they probably will be. Of course, she will need to ask the same question about you as the father of your children. Are you each now, or are you becoming, the type of individuals that you would be happy to have your children become? Have you discussed your goals for parenthood? _

_10. Are you willing to counsel together in love? Do you seek each others opinion on issues involving both of you? _

_11. What will your destiny together be? If each of you continues to progress as you are now, where will you end up? Will your prospective mate help you to achieve your destiny? _

_At this point you may be wondering if all of these criteria carry equal weight. Must all of them be answered in the affirmative for you to feel confident in your decision? My experiences with many couples suggest that they are all important. Most of them are more than important; they are critical. However, this does not mean that they are all equally important, and perhaps if one or two of them are not fully met, the deficit is not insurmountable. You will need to consider the risk and decide._

_The final guideline, number twelve, is all-important: after carefully considering the foregoing questions and then reaching a decision have you had your decision confirmed by God, if you believe in such?_

https://img2.freeimagehosting.net/image.php?bfd9558dae.jpg

_A pair of human skeletons lie in an eternal embrace at an Neolithic archaeological dig site near Mantova, Italy. Archaeologists in northern Italy believe the couple was buried 5,000-6,000 years ago, their arms still wrapped around each other in an eternal embrace."_

As Wayfarer stated: "ten years into things and neither one of us a spring chicken anymore, and *I am even more pleased with our relationship than I was at the start*."

That is the goal, not physical beauty that does not last or can succomd to health issues, money that can be lost, or other such shortsighted reasons. Longevity in a marriage depends on far more personal reasons and if done correctly you will feel like Wayfarer, in that it will only get better with time.


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## The Gabba Goul (Feb 11, 2005)

The only thing I understand about women is that they are all nuts...

the girl I'm currently going with (lets call her G) knows the girl I used to go with (lets call her D), and they both know the girl who I've been constantly off and on with for about 2 years (lets call her J)...none of them are friends per-se...but they do all know each other...It can get uncomfortable at times, and you definately have to watch what you say...but at the same time, one can gain a bit more insight into how crazy women really are...

for example...yesterday I'm at lunch with G when she tells me that D bought her a gift...I know that D was about to come into a big chunk of money...but I actually got a bit angered by this...the whole time I was with D, she was constantly broke, I used to have to give her money to pay her bills and make sure that her kids had food on the table (that's basically why we split, I didnt feel like supporting somebody else's children, or a woman who was older than me for that matter)...so yeah, I was kind of pissed...not that I need anything from her, but it would be nice, now that she's sitting on a significant chunk of dough and buying gifts for all sorts of people (aparently she's been spending like a drunken sailor), if she at least acknowledged ol' Sonny after all I did for her...I mean I dont really care, like I said, but, she still calls me pretty regularly, and claims to still like me etc...I dunno...she's the type of woman that you look at the whole relationship in retrospect and be all like "what did I ever see in her???"...but whatever...

I actually have a million stories about D that would make you simultaneously laugh and cringe...but on the flip side, the other one J...she's a completely different type of woman, we started out as just friends, we've tried to make a relationship work several times, but it just doesnt work...truth be told...if there is any of the three that I could see myself "ending up with" it'd be her, for one thing her family is filthy rich, and second only to that she is actually the nicest of all of them, she's put up with alot of BS (Including cheating) from me...but...she's nuts too...she's never worked a day in her life, and has the typical female's sense of entitlement, only multiplied by about 1,000,000...I dunno...I mean...I've always been a bit of a pushover when it comes to women, but it seems as though they are all needies...either financially or emotionally...

hmmmm...crazy...needy...that's basically all I've learned in the 8 years sence I started dating...I guess I still have alot more to learn about the farer sex...or do I???

hmmm...


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

Puts on a scratched LP of Camelot. Richard Harris sings HOW TO HANDLE A WOMAN. There are women with an instruction manual 500 pages thick. Each page reads 'This end Up' And then there are ladys.


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## Brian13 (Aug 9, 2006)

what can we do?

as Al Bundy once said:

"Women....You can't live with them....pass the beer."


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## well-kept (May 6, 2006)

Brian13 said:


> what can we do?
> 
> as Al Bundy once said:
> 
> "Women....You can't live with them....pass the beer."


At least you're not quoting Ted Bundy.


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## zegnamtl (Apr 19, 2005)

ksinc said:


> Women are always worried a guy is going to 'trade them in for a younger model' or 'trade up', etc. Ask yourself why? Because that's what they do. They assume men think like they do.


I partial disagree with this,
in today's society, women are worse than men once were for keeping one eye open for something that might coma along and appears a little better.

I believe our own Flatsix once posted a great comment about 
"chasing the next shining object"!

If you feel men have groomed this situation as a result of years of the "trade up" scenario, that is a different debate, but women now own that crown!

They also own the crown of the most aggressive highway drivers in subcompact wanna be sports cars!


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## JRR (Feb 11, 2006)

zegnamtl said:


> I partial disagree with this,
> in today's society, women are worse than men once were for keeping one eye open for something that might coma along and appears a little better.
> 
> I believe our own Flatsix once posted a great comment about
> ...


All depends on the type of woman you are chasing... These types aren't worth it.


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## zegnamtl (Apr 19, 2005)

JRR said:


> All depends on the type of woman you are chasing... These types aren't worth it.


I am not chasing any women in my current situation! Thankfully.

But I observe the women in my office and surroundings closely,
it is far more common place than one might think.
I eat lunch in one of two places every day, and know the people and their stories rather well, people's behavoir can be rather shocking at times!


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## burnedandfrozen (Mar 11, 2004)

Thanks again for the replies. When I say we were seeing each other off and on it meant that there periods of time where we both were out of town and one period of about six weeks where I didn't call her and she ended up calling me ect. We have not had sex. So I saw her as a fun person to date occasionaly with the potential for something more serious once I got to know her better. However, if she told me she had a boyfriend I wouldn't have bothered with her. I guess I'm still off the mark but I always thought a boyfriend meant some kind of exclusivness rather then just "seeing someone". I had no problem if she wanted to see other people while going out with me occasionaly like we were doing. However a boyfriend? I found that out when she left some pictures for me and a mutual friend to look at taken from her recent vacation out of town to visit family. I thought the guy who appeared in a couple of them with her were a cousin or brother but the other girl looking at them with me mentioned it must be her boyfriend. I'm 36 and someday I'd like to get hitched but the way things look I'm starting to have doubts. I just don't like all the games and complications. She obviously is not available and didn't say anything about it like most women do when you first ask them out. I just can't figure out why.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

burnedandfrozen said:


> Thanks again for the replies. When I say we were seeing each other off and on it meant that there periods of time where we both were out of town and one period of about six weeks where I didn't call her and she ended up calling me ect. We have not had sex. So I saw her as a fun person to date occasionaly with the potential for something more serious once I got to know her better. However, if she told me she had a boyfriend I wouldn't have bothered with her. I guess I'm still off the mark but I always thought a boyfriend meant some kind of exclusivness rather then just "seeing someone". I had no problem if she wanted to see other people while going out with me occasionaly like we were doing. However a boyfriend? I found that out when she left some pictures for me and a mutual friend to look at taken from her recent vacation out of town to visit family. I thought the guy who appeared in a couple of them with her were a cousin or brother but the other girl looking at them with me mentioned it must be her boyfriend. I'm 36 and someday I'd like to get hitched but the way things look I'm starting to have doubts. I just don't like all the games and complications. She obviously is not available and didn't say anything about it like most women do when you first ask them out. I just can't figure out why.


I'm sorry, but to clarify your post ... you've based all this on some other girl who basically is guessing it "must be her boyfriend" from some pictures?

Why don't you just ask? You're complaining about games/complications, but apparently you can't be forthright enough to ask a girl if she has a boyfriend before OR AFTER you date her?

You're really bringing it on yourself bro IMHO. I hate to see anyone get eaten up in the relationship thrasher, but it doesn't seem like you have a real case to cry about here either.


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## burnedandfrozen (Mar 11, 2004)

You're right Ksinc. It's been my experience that women usually mention their status when you first meet them or ask them out. They will often inject it into a conversation ("Oh my boyfriend went to school there too"). Since she never mentioned anyone well, I presumed there wasn't anyone. Lesson learned.

As for the guy in the pictures, it was her friend who looking at them with me that mentioned it must be her boyfriend.
"Boyfriend? She never mentioned a boyfriend to me" I said.
"Well, she keeps things like that private".

Either way, I'm not going to loose any sleep over it. She was cute and we had fun going out but she is not available and I'm looking for one who is.


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## guitone (Mar 20, 2005)

burnedandfrozen said:


> Thanks again for the replies. When I say we were seeing each other off and on it meant that there periods of time where we both were out of town and one period of about six weeks where I didn't call her and she ended up calling me ect. We have not had sex. So I saw her as a fun person to date occasionaly with the potential for something more serious once I got to know her better. However, if she told me she had a boyfriend I wouldn't have bothered with her. I guess I'm still off the mark but I always thought a boyfriend meant some kind of exclusivness rather then just "seeing someone". I had no problem if she wanted to see other people while going out with me occasionaly like we were doing. However a boyfriend? I found that out when she left some pictures for me and a mutual friend to look at taken from her recent vacation out of town to visit family. I thought the guy who appeared in a couple of them with her were a cousin or brother but the other girl looking at them with me mentioned it must be her boyfriend. I'm 36 and someday I'd like to get hitched but the way things look I'm starting to have doubts. I just don't like all the games and complications. She obviously is not available and didn't say anything about it like most women do when you first ask them out. I just can't figure out why.


You are right, she is not available to you as a girlfriend. Maybe she just sees you as a friend, the no sex after this period of time is a sure fire sign. Maybe you are being a gentleman, but she has a lover, so time to leave or see if she wants to step up your friendship. There are some womem that just grab a hold of us, if she is one of them be careful (she may just grab a hold of many) or see if you can get what you want. Woman are funny, I am 55, was married for quite awhile, have had many many relationships but only a few that I can think of and feel that it was time well spent, and sometimes I do miss about 3 or so of my old lovers. If she is one that you will miss do something now, if not, get going.


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## guitone (Mar 20, 2005)

burnedandfrozen said:


> You're right Ksinc. It's been my experience that women usually mention their status when you first meet them or ask them out. They will often inject it into a conversation ("Oh my boyfriend went to school there too"). Since she never mentioned anyone well, I presumed there wasn't anyone. Lesson learned.
> 
> As for the guy in the pictures, it was her friend who looking at them with me that mentioned it must be her boyfriend.
> "Boyfriend? She never mentioned a boyfriend to me" I said.
> ...


One last thing, consider her friend may be trying end your relationship with her..ask her, time to know, then maybe time to go. Also, being a gentleman is one thing, showing your interest and intent is another.


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## 16128 (Feb 8, 2005)

The answer is to date someone you would consider having for a best friend.

THAT is the test. For either gender. Because you're going to spend a whole helluva lot of time together. If you could enjoy being on a deserted island with her, that's the one.


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## jamgood (Feb 8, 2006)

>>> www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/ifyouwan.htm

Limited Edition, Six Volume, Salt Water Crocodile Bound, North Country Fiddleback Maple Encased: A Gentleman's Fireside KAV > HERE


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## Gong Tao Jai (Jul 7, 2005)

Am I the only one who finds talk like this hard to understand? I have never considered women to be particularly mysterious, or irrational, or difficult to deal with. Why is my experience so different?


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## crazyquik (Jun 8, 2005)

Gong Tao Jai said:


> Am I the only one who finds talk like this hard to understand? I have never considered women to be particularly mysterious, or irrational, or difficult to deal with. Why is my experience so different?


Are you in the United States?

Europe?

Elsewhere?


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## Rich (Jul 10, 2005)

A woman doesn't always know why she does what she does or what she really wants- she likes you to find out for her. The man who succeeds will win her heart.


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## rip (Jul 13, 2005)

burnedandfrozen said:


> Thanks again for the replies. When I say we were seeing each other off and on it meant that there periods of time where we both were out of town and one period of about six weeks where I didn't call her and she ended up calling me ect. We have not had sex. So I saw her as a fun person to date occasionaly with the potential for something more serious once I got to know her better. However, if she told me she had a boyfriend I wouldn't have bothered with her. I guess I'm still off the mark but I always thought a boyfriend meant some kind of exclusivness rather then just "seeing someone". I had no problem if she wanted to see other people while going out with me occasionaly like we were doing. However a boyfriend? I found that out when she left some pictures for me and a mutual friend to look at taken from her recent vacation out of town to visit family. I thought the guy who appeared in a couple of them with her were a cousin or brother but the other girl looking at them with me mentioned it must be her boyfriend. I'm 36 and someday I'd like to get hitched but the way things look I'm starting to have doubts. I just don't like all the games and complications. She obviously is not available and didn't say anything about it like most women do when you first ask them out. I just can't figure out why.


I'll try to say this as gently as I can: you're the one playing games here. You are behaving like a schoolboy, and a young one at that. From your description, you are giving her absolutely nothing; you see her "off and on", you think nothing of going six weeks without calling her, you have made a rash assumption about her having a boyfriend but you haven't the cojones to even ask her if that's true, yet you condemn her for it and then come whining to this forum for help. She's be a fool not to look for something better.


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## lovemeparis (May 20, 2006)

*a love story...*



Rich said:


> A woman doesn't always know why she does what she does or what she really wants- she likes you to find out for her. The man who succeeds will win her heart.


it's an adventure... I guess

and life is boring without it.:icon_smile_big::icon_smile_big::icon_smile_big:

...paris 2 LA


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## Andy (Aug 25, 2002)

whomewhat said:


> ...
> https://img2.freeimagehosting.net/image.php?bfd9558dae.jpg
> 
> _A pair of human skeletons lie in an eternal embrace at an Neolithic archaeological dig site near Mantova, Italy. Archaeologists in northern Italy believe the couple was buried 5,000-6,000 years ago, *their arms still wrapped around each other in an eternal embrace*."_
> ...


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## Fred H. (Mar 24, 2007)

*This is...*

... a rhetorical question, right?


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Andy said:


> Or they were fighting and it's a double choke hold! :icon_smile:


Classic :icon_smile_big:


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## Martinis at 8 (Apr 14, 2006)

burnedandfrozen said:


> If so PLEASE enlighten me. I found out yesterday that the young woman I had been seeing off and on for the last five months had and still has a boyfriend. Funny, she never mentioned a boyfriend. Most women usually disclose this info very early on...


They are kinda like monkees. Can't let go of one branch till they have a firm grip on the next branch.

M8


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## burnedandfrozen (Mar 11, 2004)

Thanks again for the replies. I did ask her about it and she said she had broken up with him over some difficulties they were having but decided to get back together with him. Not surprising since as Rip pointed out I wasn't exactly pursuing her with gusto. It's not that I wasn't really into her, it's just that I didn't want to come across as too eager or desperate. She's very pretty and I'd bet she gets hit on quite often. I just wanted to appear a little aloof but I guess I took it too far.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

...and so we can conclude that a woman, like a fine wine is here, not to be understood, but rather to be appreciated! An exotic being, at once beautiful to the eye, delightful to the senses, and yet (like the wine) horboring a dangerous potential to turn acidic, when not attended to properly; at which point, one must do with the relationship as we would do with the spoiled wine(?)...flush em down the shi**er and go get another bottle!


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Wayfarer said:


> When you find the right person, the games stop. The problem is a) finding that person and b) not mistaking someone for being that person, when in fact she is not.
> 
> Life is a crap shoot, bet accordingly


But what if this girl posts her photo on match and Jmatch?


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

eagle2250 said:


> ...and so we can conclude that a woman, like a fine wine is here, not to be understood, but rather to be appreciated! An exotic being, at once beautiful to the eye, delightful to the senses, and yet (like the wine) horboring a dangerous potential to turn acidic, when not attended to properly; at which point, one must do with the relationship as we would do with the spoiled wine(?)...flush em down the shi**er and go get another bottle!


I can't even understand Robin sometimes.Her And I have been seeing each other 2 1/2 years and It's been a roller-coaster rocky road relationship.


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## Albert (Feb 15, 2006)

FrankDC said:


> As for "being used", that mentality is also a throwback to the last century. Short of a marriage commitment, a person is open game for multiple relationships, sexual and otherwise. Again, if you want to know something, just ask.


I couldn't possibly disagree more. There are such notions as common decency and fair play, at least in my world...


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Howard said:


> But what if this girl posts her photo on match and Jmatch?


What girl is that?


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## The Gabba Goul (Feb 11, 2005)

Andy said:


> whomewhat said:
> 
> 
> > ...
> ...


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Wayfarer said:


> What girl is that?


My girl,But if she keeps on seeing guys,she might set herself up for failure and disappointment.Robin said to me that this guy she had met on another site told her that he doesn't want to see her anymore because of what she had put on her profile.It said that she was undecided/open about having kids and somehow that must've scared him away so Robin And I are seeing each other but only partially and not fully because of my Pathmark work schedule.


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Howard said:


> My girl,But if she keeps on seeing guys,she might set herself up for failure and disappointment.Robin said to me that this guy she had met on another site told her that he doesn't want to see her anymore because of what she had put on her profile.It said that she was undecided/open about having kids and somehow that must've scared him away so Robin And I are seeing each other but only partially and not fully because of my Pathmark work schedule.


If you are seeing a girl that has her profile up on website and is actually meeting guys, go have yourself tested for STDs and change your phone number so she can no longer call you.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Rich said:


> A woman doesn't always know why she does what she does or what she really wants- she likes you to find out for her. The man who succeeds will win her heart.


And I know that after 2 1/2 years of seeing Robin,That what she has is right in front of her,Me! 

Sometimes women don't know what they want.They want to be pampered,they want to be special and loved so the guy has to make her feel like a queen.So you'd go all out to buy her chocolates and jewelry to make her feel extra special.And sometimes the girl can be confusing so you have to understand her true feelings and talk to her about it.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Wayfarer said:


> If you are seeing a girl that has her profile up on website and is actually meeting guys, go have yourself tested for STDs and change your phone number so she can no longer call you.


No,Wayfarer,It's nothing like that.Her And I are talking and have a good rapport with each other,It has nothing to do with getting tested for STD's.I don't know what you're getting at.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

eagle2250 said:


> ...and so we can conclude that a woman, like a fine wine is here, not to be understood, but rather to be appreciated! An exotic being, at once beautiful to the eye, delightful to the senses, and yet (like the wine) horboring a dangerous potential to turn acidic, when not attended to properly; at which point, one must do with the relationship as we would do with the spoiled wine(?)...flush em down the shi**er and go get another bottle!


Eagle,I'd rather keep my bottle of wine.


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## burnedandfrozen (Mar 11, 2004)

It's just that one never wants to be the rebound guy but most women it seems are leaving one relationship only to start another right away. 
Whatever the case, I miss her. I sent her flowers and a note asking her if she would see me again.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Sometimes women are confused.Does it seem that when you date for a long time let's say about 2 1/2 years and the girl lives with her parents and so do I and her and I are thinking in the future about an apartment and living together but not marriage.We both have disabilities,She has Aspergers and I have OCD.She works full time and I work part time so we have to find a solution as to how to make this happen.Maybe Her Mother could talk to My Mother about obtaining a small apartment for the both of us,I mean I don't know if both parties are willing to discuss it over but we'll see what happens.


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