# Riddles, jokes, logic problems and other fleetingly amusing stuff



## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?

AND

Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?


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## Apatheticviews (Mar 21, 2010)

Earl of Ormonde said:


> Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?


The one immediately to its east.

The guy who climbed it was quoted as saying "%^$&^%$&^$&%^$%&^"


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## JJR512 (May 18, 2010)

Earl of Ormonde said:


> Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?


Answer: Mount Everest. It was just as high before it was discovered as it was after. (Assuming you're not referring to millions of years before it was discovered or something ridiculous like that, since mountains do in fact grow and shrink over time, and Mt. Everest has not _always_ been the highest mountain.)


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

Whos is buried in Grant's Tomb??


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## Country Irish (Nov 10, 2005)

"Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?"

1990 is one more that 1989.
You muast be having a really slow day.


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

JJR512 said:


> Answer: Mount Everest. It was just as high before it was discovered as it was after.


We have a winner! Correct, it just wasn't discovered..yet.


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

Country Irish said:


> You muast be having a really slow day.


Oh, let me tell ya! you have no idea!

Today was the second day of a two day exercise (Radiac emission from an NPP)....I did jack sh*t on the exercise, except field one call yesterday about the readiness of hospitals in the affected region...I wasn't even called in onto the Emergency Coordination Support Staff...so I stayed in my office and did my normal work, which today only consisted of decyphering a letter from OCHA to us...and it was in English! .....zzzzzzz


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## Apatheticviews (Mar 21, 2010)

WouldaShoulda said:


> Whos is buried in Grant's Tomb??


Grant & his wife.


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## JJR512 (May 18, 2010)

Country Irish said:


> "Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?"
> 
> 1990 is one more that 1989.
> You muast be having a really slow day.


Ahh, I get it..."Why are one thousand, nine hundred ninety American dollar bills worth more than one thousand, nine hundred eighty-nine American dollar bills." Most people would see the numbers and assume they are referring to years, not amounts.

That's pretty clever!

But it wouldn't work as well if it were spoken rather than written, I think...


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

Country Irish said:


> "Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?"
> 
> 1990 is one more that 1989.


We have a winner!


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

JJR512 said:


> But it wouldn't work as well if it were spoken rather than written, I think...


Exactly, it's one of those that only works in writing.


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

I really like this:

How can you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.


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## VictorRomeo (Sep 11, 2009)

I have two arms, but fingers none. I have two feet, but cannot run. I carry well, but I have found I carry best with my feet OFF the ground. What am I?


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## VictorRomeo (Sep 11, 2009)

Earl of Ormonde said:


> I really like this:
> 
> How can you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.


new door = one word


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

VictorRomeo said:


> I have two arms, but fingers none. I have two feet, but cannot run. I carry well, but I have found I carry best with my feet OFF the ground. What am I?


A wheelbarrow?


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

VictorRomeo said:


> new door = one word


We have a winner!


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

^^
Clara lived in the southern hemisphere!


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## VictorRomeo (Sep 11, 2009)

Earl of Ormonde said:


> A wheelbarrow?


Another winner!


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

eagle2250 said:


> ^^
> Clara lived in the southern hemisphere!


DeNiro gangster to Dr. B. Crystal "You...you're good... you..you!"


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

So anyway, a man walks into a pub, goes up to the bar "A pint of best please" he says to the barman. While waiting for his drink he notices Vincent Van Gogh sitting at one of the tables. He goes over to him and says "Are you Vincent Van Gogh?"
"Yes" the old man replies. "Do you want a pint?" "No, ta. I've got one 'ere."


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

So anyway, a bear walks into a pub, goes up to the barman and says, 
"Can I have a large Gin and. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tonic Please?" 
The Barman replies "Yea sure, but what's with the big pause?" 
The bear holds up his paws, looks at them, looks at the barman and says, "Helloooo, I'm a bear!!!!"


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

So anyway, a baby seal walks into a pub & sits down. "What can I get you?" asks the barman. "Anything but a Canadian Club" replied the seal.


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## Apatheticviews (Mar 21, 2010)

11 men walk into a bar. The 12th one ducks.


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## JJR512 (May 18, 2010)

Earl of Ormonde said:


> So anyway, a man walks into a pub, goes up to the bar "A pint of best please" he says to the barman. While waiting for his drink he notices Vincent Van Gogh sitting at one of the tables. He goes over to him and says "Are you Vincent Van Gogh?"
> "Yes" the old man replies. "Do you want a pint?" "No, ta. I've got one 'ere."


I don't think I get it...

***

Three strings are walking down the street. They notice a bar and decide to get a drink. The first string goes in to check the place out. The barman tells him, "Sorry, pal, we don't serve strings here." The string comes out and informs his friends. The second string decides to go in and reason with the barman, but when he enters, the barman yells out, "Hey, like I just told your friend, we don't serve your kind here! Get out!" Angered, the third string tells the others, "We'll see about this!" So he twists and fluffs himself up and enters the bar. The barman looks at him and says, "Say, are you one of those strings?" To which the third string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot!"

(Read: "No, I'm afraid not!")


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

WouldaShoulda said:


> Whos is buried in Grant's Tomb??


Grant himself?


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Why didn't The Mona Lisa show a big smile in the painting?


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## Country Irish (Nov 10, 2005)

Earl of Ormonde said:


> Oh, let me tell ya! you have no idea!
> 
> Today was the second day of a two day exercise (Radiac emission from an NPP)....I did jack sh*t on the exercise, except field one call yesterday about the readiness of hospitals in the affected region...I wasn't even called in onto the Emergency Coordination Support Staff...so I stayed in my office and did my normal work, which today only consisted of decyphering a letter from OCHA to us...and it was in English! .....zzzzzzz


Maybe you could take a vacation in Egypt .


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## TheGreatTwizz (Oct 27, 2010)

I apologize in advance for the off-color nature of this joke, but its just that damn funny......

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar......................ok, that's just the first guy.


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## Country Irish (Nov 10, 2005)

What kind of table has no legs?


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

Country Irish said:


> What kind of table has no legs?


The periodical table


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## TheGreatTwizz (Oct 27, 2010)

Earl of Ormonde said:


> The periodical table


A humorous rendition of the periodical table.....

https://commodorebrand.wordpress.com/2011/01/31/fun-with-the-periodic-table/


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