# Safety issue



## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Hi,

If you dress conservative this thread doesn't relate to you. However if you sometimes dress a bit extravagant and daring then the question at hand may concern you.
How often do you hear or see that people on streets, subways, malls etc. express their hatred or ridicule towards you because you don't dress conventional?

For example today some guy in the car shouted something to me like, "What a f***** in gloves!" I ignored this insult as he shouted it in my back but let me assure you it was not a pleasant experience. Why did he shout? Because I wore very bright tan (or maybe dull orange - it is hard to tell the exact shade) gloves along with my classic-looking navy trench-coat. The gloves are bright and the guy being some ******* in provincial city could not comprehend such thing - people like him think it is only allowed to wear dark colors.

I think this problem is particularly topical in small provincial cities. The chances to face this problem in a large city like New York or London are way smaller. E.g. (knock on wood) I never faced such a problem in Moscow where around 10 million people live yet I have already faced such a problem twice during last two years in other small Russian city where around half a million people live.

Have you discarded any of your clothes, shoes, accessories because some other people ridiculed or hated you for wearing it? It can be a lot of things in my opinion - it can be white, red or green jeans, it can be tight jeans, it can be very bright tan, yellow or red shoes, it can be pocket squares, it can be scarves along with caps, it can be neckerchiefs - everything that doesn't look conventional like single-breasted navy suit, white shirt, dark tie, black shoes, no hat.

Now I consider to darken my leather gloves. Is there such a way? Maybe I should be strong and ignore the haters but heck it can be dangerous.

Thanks in advance to everyone who is going to answer.

*TLDR*. Is it really worth it to dress unconventional if there are people who are going to hate or even hurt you for this? What are the pros and cons?


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## commandlinegamer (Jun 6, 2013)

If someone insults you because of what you wear, they're the one with the problem. And snobbery works both ways: those in tracksuits and trainers may sneer at the guy in a three-piece, and the flash guy in the BMW looks down on those scuffing along the street in torn jeans and T-shirt. Decent folk keep their ungracious thoughts to themselves.

But I suppose it makes sense to dress for your audience. Aneurin Bevan, socialist policitician and one of the founding fathers of the British NHS, reputedly would change from his smart parliamentary clothes into a less ostentatious suit when visiting his constituency in Wales.


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## Public Savant (Mar 2, 2014)

I don't dress extravagantly but I did wear a seersucker suit and a pastel tie last Easter Sunday - not something you see in Ireland. I did get a few remarks from the tracksuit/soccer jersey types. I just asked them if they played football for Manchester United, they said no and I replied "then why the f**k do you wear their jersey?" They thought that was hilarious.
I'm not about to discard my seersucker suit, it was the last thing I bought before I moved back to Ireland a few years ago. Admittedly I rarely get to wear it but that's not an excuse.


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## Piqué (Apr 10, 2014)

I've come from the future to report that shagerty7 has discarded his white jeans. :tongue2:


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## momsdoc (Sep 19, 2013)

I'm glad I live in the NYC area, but I can understand your concern in more provincial locals.


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## zzdocxx (Sep 26, 2011)

Take five do you live in Moscow ?


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

commandlinegamer said:


> If someone insults you because of what you wear, they're the one with the problem.


I'm not sure about it. They are rude yet you are the one who gets the rudeness.



commandlinegamer said:


> And snobbery works both ways: those in tracksuits and trainers may sneer at the guy in a three-piece, and the flash guy in the BMW looks down on those scuffing along the street in torn jeans and T-shirt. Decent folk keep their ungracious thoughts to themselves.


It does work both ways. However, the problem is guys in trainsuits and trainers are more dangerous. There are more chances they are inadequate, drunk, have knives, guns, look for a fight or otherwise troublesome. Besides, there is no correlation between the way you dress and the size of your income. Tons of people drive their new BMWs in torn jeans and t-shirts and on the other hand lots of people in fancy suits scuff along streets.



commandlinegamer said:


> But I suppose it makes sense to dress for your audience. Aneurin Bevan, socialist policitician and one of the founding fathers of the British NHS, reputedly would change from his smart parliamentary clothes into a less ostentatious suit when visiting his constituency in Wales.


Yes, many high-rank people do so. The problem is you visit many places during the day. This minute you are at negotiations with some customers in their glamorous and pompous office, next minute you travel by subway and walk through some dangerous quarter. You can't isolate yourself from the 'wrong' people entirely.


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## Flanderian (Apr 30, 2008)

Large caliber firearms have been known to temper rude remarks!


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Public Savant said:


> I don't dress extravagantly


I don't either yet some strokes in your style like say colorful socks can cause you trouble.



Public Savant said:


> not something you see in Ireland.


Do you mean it is fine to wear it in England but risky in Ireland?



Public Savant said:


> I did get a few remarks from the tracksuit/soccer jersey types. I just asked them if they played football for Manchester United, they said no and I replied "then why the f**k do you wear their jersey?" They thought that was hilarious.


Nice remark of yours. Kudos. :thumbs-up: However, let's admit it was a pretty risky move. Tracksuit/soccer jersey types can be dangerous. I think it is safer to ignore them and yet it is not that easy to endure their insults, not to bite back.



Public Savant said:


> I'm not about to discard my seersucker suit, it was the last thing I bought before I moved back to Ireland a few years ago. Admittedly I rarely get to wear it but that's not an excuse.


Seersucker suit with a pastel tie must look awesome. Congrats.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Piqué said:


> I've come from the future to report that shagerty7 has discarded his white jeans. :tongue2:


:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::thumbs-up:


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## Flanderian (Apr 30, 2008)

take_five said:


> it can be white, *red* or green jeans, it can be *tight jeans*,


On the other hand, perhaps I can see his point.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

momsdoc said:


> I'm glad I live in the NYC area, but I can understand your concern in more provincial locals.


I always thought New Jersey is a pretty dangerous place for stylish people as opposed to Manhattan where stylish people thrive.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Flanderian said:


> On the other hand, perhaps I can see his point.


What do you mean by his? It can also be pocket squares, neckerchiefs, red shoes - anything that doesn't look conventional among sweatsuit types.


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## Flanderian (Apr 30, 2008)

take_five said:


> I always thought New Jersey is a pretty dangerous place


Mainly for one's sanity due to the vulgarians per square meter!


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## Flanderian (Apr 30, 2008)

take_five said:


> What do you mean by his? It can also be pocket squares, neckerchiefs,


But, hopefully, *not* tight red jeans!


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Flanderian said:


> View attachment 11135
> 
> 
> Large caliber firearms have been known to temper rude remarks!


Actually I'm thinking of getting a gun one day. However, it is not that easy. Besides, it also has some cons - one can be arrested and put to jail for hurting or killing some of those jumpsuit jerks. Is it really worth it?


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Flanderian said:


> But, hopefully, *not* tight red jeans!


I don't wear red jeans but I don't mind if someone does. I hate if some jerk ridicules this man for wearing it.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Flanderian said:


> Mainly for one's sanity due to the vulgarians per square meter!


I didn't notice you live in there too. I don't know about NJ much yet I saw the Jersey Shore series back in the day. That's how I knew a new word for me - guido :biggrin:


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## shagerty7 (Apr 20, 2014)

Piqué said:


> I've come from the future to report that shagerty7 has discarded his white jeans. :tongue2:


Hahaha not a chance. They're getting their first wear tomorrow and can't wait to tell you guys how awesome they worked out haha. Just stay strong man. If you like the gloves then who cares what anybody thinks? Haters gunna hate, right?


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

zzdocxx said:


> Take five do you live in Moscow ?


Yep, as seen in my profile. I'm not a native yet. It means I also live in some other much smaller town during weekends. Sort of commuting you know.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

shagerty7 said:


> Hahaha not a chance. They're getting their first wear tomorrow and can't wait to tell you guys how awesome they worked out haha.


Hey nice to know you're from Texas! I mean c'mon who could suggest that people in Texas take a non conservative approach to clothes. People like you make Texas a more liberal place to live. 



shagerty7 said:


> Just stay strong man.


I guess I'm not that strong. My bad!



shagerty7 said:


> Haters gunna hate, right?


You said it. :thumbs-up:


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## Gmoney (Apr 4, 2014)

While complaining about people being rude to you because you dress nice, you turn around and call "the sweatsuit types" dangerous because of the way they dress. Aren't you doing the same thing to them, just on the internet instead of to their faces? I would call the mafia dangerous and they wore suits...


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Gmoney said:


> While complaining about people being rude to you because you dress nice, you turn around and call "the sweatsuit types" dangerous because of the way they dress. Aren't you doing the same thing to them, just on the internet instead of to their faces? I would call the mafia dangerous and they wore suits...


Do you have any better term for those guys? ********? Thugs? What choice of words would you choose for them?

Whatever... Do you preach the idea that if someone slaps you on one cheek, you should turn to them the other also. I don't practice this idea and I have a right to tell whatever I think of people who insulted me. I never insulted them first.


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## Gmoney (Apr 4, 2014)

take_five said:


> Do you have any better term for those guys? ********? Thugs? What choice of words would you choose for them?
> 
> Whatever... Do you preach the idea that if someone slaps you on one cheek, you should turn to them the other also. I don't practice this idea and I have a right to tell whatever I think of people who insulted me. I never insulted them first.


I call them rude a**holes myself. But the whole principle of being angry that someone is being rude and judging you by your clothes, just to turn around and do the same thing back is a little backwards to me. Its like being angry that your neighbor plays their music too loud then cranking yours up to the max and wondering why people don't like it.

Yes people are rude, and yes they are a**holes. It is sad but it is part of life and always will be. People will be rude for any reason they see fit, not just for what someone is wearing.


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## zzdocxx (Sep 26, 2011)

Ignore ignore ignore.


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## Flanderian (Apr 30, 2008)

Gmoney said:


> While complaining about people being rude to you because you dress nice, you turn around and call "the sweatsuit types" dangerous because of the way they dress. Aren't you doing the same thing to them, just on the internet instead of to their faces? I would call the mafia dangerous and they wore suits...


Gopniki -









It ain't Iowa!


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## Langham (Nov 7, 2012)

Yahoos and yobboes. Just ignore them.


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## Stubbly (Jul 26, 2013)

On a number of occasions, I've been insulted just for wearing a suit & tie.

Whether ignoring them is an adequate response depends on the level of risk. Are they inclined to physically assault you, or only verbally assault you?

At times, it's best to "dress down" to avoid putting yourself in danger. When I need to visit my state or county offices for legal matters, I'm very careful not to dress too well. The state & county where I live have their offices in two of the most dangerous cites in the U.S. I'm not concerned about insults in these dangerous cities, but I am concerned about being shot & robbed. Dressing well would only make me a more likely target.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

Whoa! Wait! Did you say you were wearing bright tan gloves with a navy trench?! :icon_pale:

More generally, I shouldn't worry. I am the most conservatively dressed old fuddy-duddy but I occasionally take a touch of flak, when in the city centre late at night, from groups of dopey middle aged men wearing superdry hoodies and ill-fitting jeans.

.
.
.

.


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## Odradek (Sep 1, 2011)

Public Savant said:


> I don't dress extravagantly but I did wear a seersucker suit and a pastel tie last Easter Sunday - not something you see in Ireland. I did get a few remarks from the tracksuit/soccer jersey types. I just asked them if they played football for Manchester United, they said no and I replied "then why the f**k do you wear their jersey?" They thought that was hilarious.
> I'm not about to discard my seersucker suit, it was the last thing I bought before I moved back to Ireland a few years ago. Admittedly I rarely get to wear it but that's not an excuse.


Excellent. 
I've never seen a seersucker suit in Ireland at all. Or anywhere else in Europe for that matter. Not something you'd expect in Galway.

I get snide comments from my brother in law when I wear tweed, or my tattersall waistcoat, but I think that's just his inner class warrior coming out.

If I venture to wear a tie, I just get bewildered looks from people.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

^ I find that the popularity of 'Downton Abbey' has provided the jerk-offs with a new term of abuse to direct at me when I am in my tweeds and/or cravat.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Don't worry about them, just ignore it.


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## Anthony Charton (May 7, 2012)

Langham said:


> Yahoos and yobboes. *Just ignore them.*


Easy to say. Deprecatings remarks, however half-witted, are fine, but one is to know how far one can push it depending on the geographical and social area one is in. A few summers ago I was involved in a production at the Edinburgh Fringe, and some of our patrons were bars and other drinking establishments down Leith Walk (Leith being the roughest part of Edinburgh and a place I'd rather not be alone in at night, regardless of what I was wearing). I quickly learned to tone down my choice of clothes whenever I had to be on the Walk.

I've also gotten into trouble in some of the less reputable parts of Milan and other cities- basically, there's a direct correlation between a man's or woman's attire and a thief's assessment of how lucrative mugging them would be. No real harm done to me so far, but it's happened to friends and relatives. Long story short, I try to be _way_ more careful about what I wear and where I wear it to.


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## Carguy (Nov 29, 2012)

I know this happens all over the world but try living in the state of Arkansas and wearing a pink or purple tie....some people about broke out in hives over that! My solution? I wore something like that EVERY day....just to annoy the foolish morons!

Thankfully, I am no longer in exile!


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

Anthony Charton said:


> Easy to say. Deprecatings remarks, however half-witted, are fine, but one is to know how far one can push it depending on the geographical and social area one is in. A few summers ago I was involved in a production at the Edinburgh Fringe, and some of our patrons were bars and other drinking establishments down Leith Walk (Leith being the roughest part of Edinburgh and a place I'd rather not be alone in at night, regardless of what I was wearing). I quickly learned to tone down my choice of clothes whenever I had to be on the Walk.
> 
> I've also gotten into trouble in some of the less reputable parts of Milan and other cities- basically, there's a direct correlation between a man's or woman's attire and a thief's assessment of how lucrative mugging them would be. No real harm done to me so far, but it's happened to friends and relatives. Long story short, I try to be _way_ more careful about what I wear and where I wear it to.


You should have tried the Volunteer's Arms, before it burnt to the ground. :icon_pale:


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## Piqué (Apr 10, 2014)

shagerty7 said:


> Hahaha not a chance. They're getting their first wear tomorrow and can't wait to tell you guys how awesome they worked out haha.


Actually, I have to admit that as much as a HATE white jeans, there are a couple of pictures in your thread that look quite nice. Those white jeans looked much nicer than the white jeans people wore in the early 90s, which I think must have been the source for my trauma (along with black and forest green :confused2: jeans).


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Gmoney said:


> I call them rude a**holes myself. But the whole principle of being angry that someone is being rude and judging you by your clothes, just to turn around and do the same thing back is a little backwards to me. Its like being angry that your neighbor plays their music too loud then cranking yours up to the max and wondering why people don't like it.


I'm not judging their clothes. I could care less about the way they look. I used the term to designate them, to separate among other people. If I said just a**holes you could imagine it was some lawyer, priest, military man or someone else, but the sweatsuit type. The term helps you to understand the type of a man I dealt with.


Gmoney said:


> Its like being angry that your neighbor plays their music too loud then cranking yours up to the max and wondering why people don't like it.


Innocent people or that neighbor? It matters. If the the former then I understand what you mean if the latter then I don't as there is a thing called retaliation.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Flanderian said:


> Gopniki -
> 
> View attachment 11140
> 
> ...


How do you know this word? This is exactly the proper word in Russian.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

*Stubbly, *excellent posting.



Stubbly said:


> Whether ignoring them is an adequate response depends on the level of risk. Are they inclined to physically assault you, or only verbally assault you?


In my case it was only a verbal assault.



Stubbly said:


> two of the most dangerous cites in the U.S.


I wonder what they are.



Stubbly said:


> I'm not concerned about insults in these dangerous cities, but I am concerned about being shot & robbed.


Yes, it is another, even much more serious problem, that arises if you are dressed well.



Stubbly said:


> Dressing well would only make me a more likely target.


Exactly.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Shaver said:


> Whoa! Wait! Did you say you were wearing bright tan gloves with a navy trench?! :icon_pale:.


Exactly. Also tan shoes. I don't wear either black gloves or black shoes these days as I guess you do since they are too conservative.



Shaver said:


> More generally, I shouldn't worry. I am the most conservatively dressed old fuddy-duddy but I occasionally take a touch of flak, when in the city centre late at night, from groups of dopey middle aged men wearing superdry hoodies and ill-fitting jeans.
> .


Nice story from real life. Thanks. However, the key thing is what the reason of this touch of flak was. If the way you were dressed then it counts, if not - then doesn't.

When I think of Manchester this part of the Eurotrip film comes to my mind:


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Odradek said:


> Excellent.
> I've never seen a seersucker suit in Ireland at all. Or anywhere else in Europe for that matter. Not something you'd expect in Galway.


I always thought lots of people in Milan wear seersucker.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Shaver said:


> ^ I find that the popularity of 'Downton Abbey' has provided the jerk-offs with a new term of abuse to direct at me when I am in my tweeds and/or cravat.


What is it? Hey, look at this Downtown Abbey type?

You wear cravat in 2014 and at the same time call yourself a conservatively dressed fuddy-duddy? Cravat has nothing to do with conservatism these days.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

*Anthony Charton*, thanks for you story.



Anthony Charton said:


> I've also gotten into trouble in some of the less reputable parts of Milan


I always thought Milan is full of great looking and well-dressed men so it is not risky to look dandy in Milan as you fuse with other stylish people. Am I wrong?



Anthony Charton said:


> there's a direct correlation between a man's or woman's attire and a thief's assessment of how lucrative mugging them would be.


Very true.



Anthony Charton said:


> Long story short, I try to be _way_ more careful about what I wear and where I wear it to.


It is a sane idea yet it is hard to tone down your clothes if you got used to more higher standards already.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Carguy said:


> My solution? I wore something like that EVERY day....just to annoy the foolish morons!


 :thumbs-up:


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## momsdoc (Sep 19, 2013)

These comments are giving me a new appreciation for where I live. I've never given a sconds thought to peoples reaction to my clothes, nor have I ever heard anyone remark rudly to another person about their attire. I feel comfrotable venturing anywhere I choose dressed anywhere along the spectrum from Banker conservative, to Brithish country, to Preppy to flat out metrosexual. No one in this part of the country gives you a second look, except to comment on how welll dressed you are.


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## Flanderian (Apr 30, 2008)

take_five said:


> How do you know this word? This is exactly the proper word in Russian.


A misspent youth!


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

take_five said:


> Exactly. Also tan shoes. I don't wear either black gloves or black shoes these days as I guess you do since they are too conservative.
> 
> Nice story from real life. Thanks. However, the key thing is what the reason of this touch of flak was. If the way you were dressed then it counts, if not - then doesn't.
> 
> When I think of Manchester this part of the Eurotrip film comes to my mind:


Huh! Don't be fooled by the movies. Manchester United _*never*_ had a firm worth a fig.

Leeds United Service Crew on the other hand were feared throughout all of Europe.










https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leeds_United_Service_Crew

As an aside- the top boy in that clip (Vinnie Jones) was actually a notorious Leeds United player at one time.

.
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..

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.


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

take_five said:


> Exactly. Also tan shoes. *I don't wear either black gloves or black shoes these days as I guess you do since they are too conservative. *
> 
> Nice story from real life. Thanks. However, the key thing is what the reason of this touch of flak was. If the way you were dressed then it counts, if not - then doesn't.
> 
> When I think of Manchester this part of the Eurotrip film comes to my mind:


Black shoes and gloves are classic because they work. The problem is that tan gloves and shoes look so far removed from a navy suit that of course they're going to be noticed. Doing something because it's trendy doesn't indicate good taste either. Why not brown or burgundy? It's a break from all the black shoes you see around you and looks much more in tune with the rest of what you're wearing.

Secondly, your reasoning is bogus. To shun things just because they are conservative is as bad as someone refusing to wear something they like because it is currently trendy. In both cases they are letting something really petty get in the way of common sense. Colour alone is not an indicator of how conservative or trendy something is anyway. I've seen really tasteful tan shoes (provided they're not worn with a navy suit!) and some incredibly ugly, trendy black shoes.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Just dress the way you want and don't worry about anybody else.


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## Stubbly (Jul 26, 2013)

I live in a lovely, safe community where I can dress as I please.

For work, I've had to travel in & through some rough city neighborhoods, where being "inappropriately" dressed (i.e. well dressed) can attract unwanted attention. These days, my safety is not usually a concern, except for the government office visits I've mentioned. Even the Division of Motor Vehicles office seems somewhat unsafe. The DMV office staff includes two or three *armed police officers* - not unarmed rental guards. Perhaps a bulletproof tweed waistcoat would be a good idea.

Shaver, Did I see you wearing one of these waistcoats in the WAYWT thread?

*Tweed Body Armour Waistcoat, by Jack Ellis*
https://www.jackellis.co.uk/products/specials/tweed-waistcoat-body-armour.html


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## alkydrinker (Apr 24, 2012)

^^^Stubbly, just curious, in what area do you live? (Your user info seems to imply the Bahamas?)

Here in Baltimore, I went to the DMV one morning and saw a few people get kicked out within about 20 minutes and they had several security guards working there. That said, it wouldn't typically be the hardened ghetto criminal types to give someone crap over nice attire in Baltimore. I would expect it from people closer to my socio-economic group that are acting boorish.


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## kaehlin (Mar 29, 2014)

alkydrinker said:


> ^^^Stubbly, just curious, in what area do you live? (Your user info seems to imply the Bahamas?)
> 
> Here in Baltimore, I went to the DMV one morning and saw a few people get kicked out within about 20 minutes and they had several security guards working there. That said, it wouldn't typically be the hardened ghetto criminal types to give someone crap over nice attire in Baltimore. I would expect it from people closer to my socio-economic group that are acting boorish.


This, exactly, is my experience. I'm not sure I've ever been hassled by, or targeted by, street kids. Irritating comments about my clothing are incredibly rare (outnumbered 100 to 1 by positive), and come mostly from those in my own SES, perhaps compensating upon their own realization that they are underdressed.


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## orange fury (Dec 8, 2013)

I'll preface this post with the disclaimer of YMMV.

I was bullied a bit when I was younger (elementary and middle school), and I eventually learned that it's easier to either blow off comments entirely, or turn it around and be able to laugh at yourself. Point being, developing an ability to not care what others thought of me transitioned into the confidence (or as I like to call it, "an utter lack of give-a-damn") to wear stuff that other guys wouldn't go anywhere near. My closest friends do poke fun at me regularly for some of the stuff I like to wear, but they have also expressed to me privately their jealousy of my confidence to wear stuff like tweed, pastels, and seersucker.

Per clothing appropriateness, I mean, I live in SE texas and wear nantucket reds almost as often as I wear khakis (which is to say, all the time), and I've gotten a few looks, but never any negative comments. I also live in a major city, I do tone it down a bit when we visit my wife's hometown (a very rural town of 3,000).


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## Carguy (Nov 29, 2012)

orange fury said:


> I'll preface this post with the disclaimer of YMMV.
> 
> I was bullied a bit when I was younger (elementary and middle school), and I eventually learned that it's easier to either blow off comments entirely, or turn it around and be able to laugh at yourself. Point being, developing an ability to not care what others thought of me transitioned into the confidence (or as I like to call it, "an utter lack of give-a-damn") to wear stuff that other guys wouldn't go anywhere near. My closest friends do poke fun at me regularly for some of the stuff I like to wear, but they have also expressed to me privately their jealousy of my confidence to wear stuff like tweed, pastels, and seersucker.
> 
> Per clothing appropriateness, I mean, I live in SE texas and wear nantucket reds almost as often as I wear khakis (which is to say, all the time), and I've gotten a few looks, but never any negative comments. I also live in a major city, I do tone it down a bit when we visit my wife's hometown (a very rural town of 3,000).


Whereabouts in SE Tx do you live? I live in Sugar Land, but your wife's hometown sounds suspiciously like my own wife's, the large burg of Coldspring. I agree with your theory though, sometimes, you just have to go with "don't give a damn"!

Mike


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## Piqué (Apr 10, 2014)

orange fury said:


> I'll preface this post with the disclaimer of YMMV.
> 
> I was bullied a bit when I was younger (elementary and middle school), and I eventually learned that it's easier to either blow off comments entirely, or turn it around and be able to laugh at yourself. Point being, developing an ability to not care what others thought of me transitioned into the confidence (or as I like to call it, "an utter lack of give-a-damn") to wear stuff that other guys wouldn't go anywhere near. My closest friends do poke fun at me regularly for some of the stuff I like to wear, but they have also expressed to me privately their jealousy of my confidence to wear stuff like tweed, pastels, and seersucker.
> 
> Per clothing appropriateness, I mean, I live in SE texas and wear nantucket reds almost as often as I wear khakis (which is to say, all the time), and I've gotten a few looks, but never any negative comments. I also live in a major city, I do tone it down a bit when we visit my wife's hometown (a very rural town of 3,000).


I could have made almost this exact same post myself. I still need to get a pair of nantucket reds though. :thumbs-up:


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## Stubbly (Jul 26, 2013)

alkydrinker said:


> ^^^Stubbly, just curious, in what area do you live? (Your user info seems to imply the Bahamas?)


I've updated my location information. I live in an undisclosed location in the countryside just outside a major U.S. city.



kaehlin said:


> This, exactly, is my experience. I'm not sure I've ever been hassled by, or targeted by, street kids. Irritating comments about my clothing are incredibly rare (outnumbered 100 to 1 by positive), and come mostly from those in my own SES, perhaps compensating upon their own realization that they are underdressed.


Negative comments and street kids do not bother me.

Considering the violent crime rates in many American cities, my concern is with large thuggish men giving me hard looks. When I need to go into bad neighborhoods to visit government offices, I dress to blend in. Dressing too well would make me stand out like a proverbial sore thumb.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

momsdoc said:


> These comments are giving me a new appreciation for where I live. I've never given a sconds thought to peoples reaction to my clothes, nor have I ever heard anyone remark rudly to another person about their attire. I feel comfrotable venturing anywhere I choose dressed anywhere along the spectrum from Banker conservative, to Brithish country, to Preppy to flat out metrosexual. No one in this part of the country gives you a second look, except to comment on how welll dressed you are.


Congrats then! On the other hand I'm not talking about often insults as this would mean a really terrible place for a living. I mean a rare insult that can occur say one time a year.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Flanderian said:


> A misspent youth!
> 
> View attachment 11142


You talk in riddles.


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## Flanderian (Apr 30, 2008)

take_five said:


> You talk in riddles.


The Zen master Hakuin was praised by his neighbors as one living a pure life. 

A beautiful Japanese girl whose parents owned a food store lived near him. Suddenly, without any warning, her parents discovered she was with child. 

This made her parents angry. She would not confess who the man was, but after much harassment at last named Hakuin. 
In great anger the parent went to the master. "Is that so?" was all he would say. 

After the child was born it was brought to Hakuin. By this time he had lost his reputation, which did not trouble him, but he took very good care of the child. He obtained milk from his neighbors and everything else he needed. 

A year later the girl-mother could stand it no longer. She told her parents the truth - the real father of the child was a young man who worked in the fish market. 

The mother and father of the girl at once went to Hakuin to ask forgiveness, to apologize at length, and to get the child back. Hakuin was willing. In yielding the child, all he said was: "Is that so?"


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Jovan said:


> Black shoes and gloves are classic because they work.


It is safe, but it is a boring combination, very boring. Black shoes can only look great if you have some other clothes or accessories that look bright - say a bright bag or a bright gloves. Otherwise, all we have is a man in black.



Jovan said:


> The problem is that tan gloves and shoes look so far removed from a navy suit that of course they're going to be noticed.


It is not the problem, it is the point. The same point is with bright ties, bright bags etc. It is allowed to have some part of your clothing to stand out among the others colorwise. And yes, a man must have balls to stand out from the grey crowd with his red tie, burgundy bag or tan shoes.



Jovan said:


> Doing something because it's trendy doesn't indicate good taste either.


Why do you think it is trendy? I believe tan is classic.



Jovan said:


> Why not brown or burgundy?


Brown is boring too. Better than black but still boring. A lot of people wear brown so you won't stand out.

As for burgundy. Great color but I prefer it during cold months. These days it is warm and everything turns green. Tan as a more light and warm color suits this period of a year better. Don't you think so?



Jovan said:


> I've seen really tasteful tan shoes (provided they're not worn with a navy suit!) and some incredibly ugly, trendy black shoes.


I belive tan shoes can look awesome with navy suits in some cases. Anyway, what suit color do you find appropriate for tan shoes?



Jovan said:


> To shun things just because they are conservative


Conservative means every one around you wear is. Every coworker in the office wears black shoes. Do you really want to wear the same color as other 95 percent of people do?


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Stubbly said:


> Perhaps a bulletproof tweed waistcoat would be a good idea.


During winter months maybe. During hot summer months not.

The quote at the bottom of your posts is excellent. I've just noticed and read it: _Looking good and dressing well is a necessity. Having a purpose in life is not. _I couldn't agree more.  :thumbs-up:


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

alkydrinker said:


> Here in Baltimore


I presume I know nothing about Baltimore but this quote from the Scarface movie:
-Where you from?
-Baltimore.
-What?
-Baltimore!
-Baltimore? Where's that?
-It doesn't really matter, all right?


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

kaehlin said:


> This, exactly, is my experience. I'm not sure I've ever been hassled by, or targeted by, street kids. Irritating comments about my clothing are incredibly rare (outnumbered 100 to 1 by positive), and come mostly from those in my own SES, perhaps compensating upon their own realization that they are underdressed.


Do you guys really get positive comments from people on streets you don't know? I usually don't. The only exceptions were when:
1) Some assistant in the store told me something like, "How beautiful you look" when she saw me entering the shop in my burgundy Swims as it was raining that day. The key thing it was the Swims shop so she saw me wearing what she sells. I guess that's why she could not resist commenting it. 
2) Some security guy in the grocery store asked like, "Excuse me. Where did you buy these nice shoes?" I told him it was not shoes, it were Swims. The thing is it were brown Swims over my tan Barker shoes but the guy thought it was a bi-colored shoes.

Other positive comments I get only from co-workers. I never get them from pedestrians on streets, people in the subway, malls etc.


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## TradThrifter (Oct 22, 2012)

The people who would insult you for how well you dress are more than likely people that you wouldn't wish to associate with in the first place. I don't tend to dwell on the opinions of said persons.


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## Grayson (Feb 29, 2008)

This type of thing can go both ways. I was recently busy putting things away in my car after a Starbucks stop when a young and very tough-looking young man knocked on my car window. Curious and a bit cautious, I started the car but still opened my window to hear what he had to say.

He said, "Man, I'm here gettin' coffee a lot, and I see you always wearin' some GREAT sportcoats!"

Totally made my day. :cool2:


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

take_five said:


> Do you guys really get positive comments from people on streets you don't know? I usually don't. The only exceptions were when:
> 1) Some assistant in the store told me something like, "How beautiful you look" when she saw me entering the shop in my burgundy Swims as it was raining that day. The key thing it was the Swims shop so she saw me wearing what she sells. I guess that's why she could not resist commenting it.
> 2) Some security guy in the grocery store asked like, "Excuse me. Where did you buy these nice shoes?" I told him it was not shoes, it were Swims. The thing is it were brown Swims over my tan Barker shoes but the guy thought it was a bi-colored shoes.
> 
> Other positive comments I get only from co-workers. I never get them from pedestrians on streets, people in the subway, malls etc.


Well, at least you got some positive comments.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

TradThrifter said:


> The people who would insult you for how well you dress are more than likely people that you wouldn't wish to associate with in the first place. I don't tend to dwell on the opinions of said persons.


you get a lot of people who dress up because they just like to dress up and you get those you just want to poke fun at other's personal appearances.


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## Natty Beau (Apr 29, 2014)

Grayson said:


> This type of thing can go both ways. I was recently busy putting things away in my car after a Starbucks stop when a young and very tough-looking young man knocked on my car window. Curious and a bit cautious, I started the car but still opened my window to hear what he had to say.
> 
> He said, "Man, I'm here gettin' coffee a lot, and I see you always wearin' some GREAT sportcoats!"
> 
> Totally made my day. :cool2:


In Washington and Baltimore I've had many interactions like that and I've certainly learned you can't judge a book by its cover. A lot of people aren't willing to go above the status quo but they like people who do. It's kind of encouraging.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

I recently acquired the single most amusing put-down for my style of dress that I have ever received. One of my colleagues at work, an intelligent and sophisticated man of my age but with a dress sense that we AAAC members disdain, set me to laughing the other day. He inquired as to the source of my merriment and I informed him that it was his Tron t-shirt, which would be better suited to an 8 year old boy. He narrowed his eyes, looked me up and down, and venomously cried "At least I don't dress like I've just been de-mobbed!"


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## Fraser Tartan (May 12, 2010)

Best to ignore sartorial advice from Tron fans. :teacha:


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## Stubbly (Jul 26, 2013)

Shaver said:


> I recently acquired the single most amusing put-down for my style of dress that I have ever received. One of my colleagues at work, an intelligent and sophisticated man of my age but with a dress sense that we AAAC members disdain, set me to laughing the other day. He inquired as to the source of my merriment and I informed him that it was his Tron t-shirt, which would be better suited to an 8 year old boy. He narrowed his eyes, looked me up and down, and venomously cried "At least I don't dress like I've just been de-mobbed!"


If anyone wearing a Tron t-shirt actually liked my style of dress, I would be very concerned.


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

Fraser Tartan said:


> Best to ignore sartorial advice from Tron fans. :teacha:


I know you were just joking, but believe it worth noting that "Tron Guy" is one of the friendliest people you'll meet at a fandom convention. Also, I'm a fan of the Tron movies and haven't installed EL panels in my tailored clothing or anything.

Yet.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

Fraser Tartan said:


> Best to ignore sartorial advice from Tron fans. :teacha:


Why is he having his photo taken whilst sitting in a garbage dump?


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## Fraser Tartan (May 12, 2010)

One man's garbage is another man's treasure!


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

Fraser Tartan said:


> One man's garbage is another man's treasure!


cf Trad thrifters. :devil:


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## Flanderian (Apr 30, 2008)

Shaver said:


> and venomously cried "At least I don't dress like I've just been de-mobbed!"


Translated into American: "Mustered out of the military, most commonly used to apply to WWII vets.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

^ Thank you Flanders, fine fellow. I had not realised that the term was not also employed by my American friends.


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## momsdoc (Sep 19, 2013)

And here I thought you were just released from the Mafia. Must be the Jersey in me.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

I was released from my Sicilian obligations in the '80s (pictured below in Corleone).


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Fraser Tartan said:


> Best to ignore sartorial advice from Tron fans. :teacha:


Someone must've been a fan of Tron.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

orange fury said:


> wear nantucket reds


What is nantucket reds? :icon_scratch:


orange fury said:


> I was bullied a bit when I was younger (elementary and middle school), and I eventually learned that it's easier to either blow off comments entirely, or turn it around and be able to laugh at yourself.


I was bullied too in school. Blowing comments off is not an option as it leads to more intense insults in the future. The only option is to learn how to hit back.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Carguy said:


> Whereabouts in SE Tx do you live? I live in Sugar Land, but your wife's hometown sounds suspiciously like my own wife's, the large burg of Coldspring. I agree with your theory though, sometimes, you just have to go with "don't give a damn"!


*orange fury *said 3000 people live in that town. Wiki states less than one thousand live in Coldspring. So, it doesn't match.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Stubbly said:


> I've updated my location information. I live in an undisclosed location in the countryside just outside a major U.S. city.


I thought there is a requirement to denote the exact place of living here on the forum. Not fictional ones.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Stubbly said:


> When I need to go into bad neighborhoods to visit government offices, I dress to blend in. Dressing too well would make me stand out like a proverbial sore thumb.


It sounds weird to me that your government offices are located in bad neighborhoods. Here in Russia government offices tend to be located in good places, many of them are in downtown.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Flanderian said:


> The Zen master Hakuin was praised by his neighbors as one living a pure life.
> 
> A beautiful Japanese girl whose parents owned a food store lived near him. Suddenly, without any warning, her parents discovered she was with child.
> 
> ...


You only made it worse. Now I think you have something to do with Hakuin. And the girl wasn't Japanese in fact. Lol


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Grayson said:


> This type of thing can go both ways. I was recently busy putting things away in my car after a Starbucks stop when a young and very tough-looking young man knocked on my car window. Curious and a bit cautious, I started the car but still opened my window to hear what he had to say.
> 
> He said, "Man, I'm here gettin' coffee a lot, and I see you always wearin' some GREAT sportcoats!"
> 
> Totally made my day. :cool2:


Lol Nice story :thumbs-up:


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Howard said:


> you get those you just want to poke fun at other's personal appearances.


I find it hard to comprehend this phrase. :icon_headagainstwal Why should one want to see a man poking fun at somebody else?


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## orange fury (Dec 8, 2013)

take_five said:


> What is nantucket reds? :icon_scratch:
> 
> I was bullied too in school. Blowing comments off is not an option as it leads to more intense insults in the future. The only option is to learn how to hit back.


It's a specific shade of faded red pants that can be worn as a replacement for khaki chinos in many cases. These are some of mine: 


and I was never physically threatened, even though words (and rejection) can be more painful. But I feel like that experience made me an emotionally stronger and more empathetic person. No one should ever have to go through that kind of stuff, but I think I was able to turn it into a positive in my own life.

Also, the confidence that I had to learn has helped me immensely in my professional and personal life.



Carguy said:


> Whereabouts in SE Tx do you live? I live in Sugar Land, but your wife's hometown sounds suspiciously like my own wife's, the large burg of Coldspring. I agree with your theory though, sometimes, you just have to go with "don't give a damn"!
> 
> Mike


Sorry, I just saw this, my wife is from Navasota (which I was incorrect- the population is 7600), so I'm very familiar with the Coldspring area lol.


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## alkydrinker (Apr 24, 2012)

Natty Beau said:


> In Washington and Baltimore I've had many interactions like that and I've certainly learned you can't judge a book by its cover. A lot of people aren't willing to go above the status quo but they like people who do. It's kind of encouraging.


In some weird twisted way, it seems that the ghetto culture of less-well-off around this area is friendly to dressing well to classic standards. I've noticed this same type of thing when traveling in developing countries - dressing good is good, simple as that. Whereas in middle to upper-middle class white america there is some weird white-guilt thing going on, like they need to try to somehow be "of the people". There is some fear or guilt complex of appearing "fancy," and the reaction is to go around in stuff like fleece and performance camping clothes, but at the same time all that stuff is actually quite expensive and usually has clearly visible brand labeling to signal status. They'll stand in their $200 rafting sandals (with a strap pattern that indicates how much they paid to those who are in-the-know) and act holier than thou to a guy for wearing a sport coat. It's really sick, psychologically twisted stuff.

Hip-hop culture has always seemed to unapologetically favor "fancy"/expensive things, which a lot of the time is gaudy, showy things, but not always. I'm not part of that culture in any way, but I think there is also some appreciation of more european, quieter, old-money type luxury items. A young thuggish looking guy covered in tattoos once asked me if in Nordstrom Rack if I knew where he could find a double breasted blazer.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Shaver said:


> He narrowed his eyes, looked me up and down, and venomously cried "At least I don't dress like I've just been de-mobbed!"


I thought at first de-mobbed has something to do with being mobbed but my dictionary states it means a different thing - demobilized. Anyway, I think a usual style people on AAAC have has few things or nothing in common with a military style. It is surprising to know you dress like you have something to do with an army.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Jovan said:


> I know you were just joking, but believe it worth noting that "Tron Guy" is one of the friendliest people you'll meet at a fandom convention. Also, I'm a fan of the Tron movies and haven't installed EL panels in my tailored clothing or anything.
> 
> Yet.


I see no 'Tron Guys' in my neck of the woods. I didn't know there is a huge fan base in the States and the UK. On the other hand I don't see adults wearing Superman, Batman, Spiderman t-shirts neither.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Fraser Tartan said:


> One man's garbage is another man's treasure!


It seems everyone here has watched the movie. Well, I presume I have to add Tron to my 'to watch list' too. The one thing though that perplexes me is it has a pretty low IMDB rating.


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## take_five (Apr 8, 2012)

Shaver said:


> cf Trad thrifters. :devil:


Trad thrifters? Are these men who tend to buy clothes in stores with low prices? Maybe I should visit this forum too since (as I already wrote) I can't buy socks for 20 pounds a pair - it is utterly prodigal.


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

take_five said:


> It seems everyone here has watched the movie. Well, I presume I have to add Tron to my 'to watch list' too. The one thing though that perplexes me is it has a pretty low IMDB rating.


It's not perplexing. In all honesty, the dialogue and acting can be pretty bad at times. The story is also run of the mill, "Outsider who knows nothing of this world comes in to save it because they have a hidden power." That said? I still love it. The effects are pretty entertaining even thirty years later, the concepts are a lot of fun, Jeff Bridges is obviously having the time of his life, and the action is pretty cool. The same mostly goes for its sequel, though I'd argue they improved a lot in terms of dialogue and acting.

In short, I recognize the faults of the movie but still like it. YMMV.


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## filbert_turtle (Apr 5, 2014)

OP, if it is important to you to dress as you do in spite of others opinions, then do so.

However, the occassional aXXXXXX notwithstanding, its important to remember clothes is cultural and social in nature. I do not dress in ways that alienate me from those around me. If I dressed the way I do in Boston in my home neighborhood, I would mark myself as out of place at best and, at worst, be read as actively trying to set myself apart from them by wearing inaccessible styles.

We wear clothes to be seen in them. If you are dressing in flamboyant city styles in a rural area, you are not showing any intention to mix in locally and in fact are broadcasting: "Look at me. I am different than you." If thats what you want, there will always be admirer and critics at either extreme ready to shout their opinions.


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## Flanderian (Apr 30, 2008)

take_five said:


> You only made it worse. Now I think you have something to do with Hakuin. And the girl wasn't Japanese in fact. Lol


Is that so?


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## Langham (Nov 7, 2012)

take_five said:


> I thought at first de-mobbed has something to do with being mobbed but my dictionary states it means a different thing - demobilized. Anyway, I think a usual style people on AAAC have has few things or nothing in common with a military style. It is surprising to know you dress like you have something to do with an army.











Demobilisation sounded quite interesting. Nothing to do with military uniforms at all, but rather of how high-up military minds thought people should dress when re-entering civilian life. I believe this was graded according to military rank (and I am talking principally about the 1940s, although the process took place, in the UK, through to the ending of national service (i.e. conscription) in the early 1960s). My understanding is that there was a choice of outfit, but principally these were mid-quality suits and the rest. I would like to know more details - was there a choice of tie, headwear, shoes etc? I've seen a few photographs of men in 'demob suits' looking quite pleased.

Shaver's colleague may have been ribbing him gently about his appearance in some way, by the reference to demobbing.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

take_five said:


> I thought at first de-mobbed has something to do with being mobbed but my dictionary states it means a different thing - demobilized. Anyway, I think a usual style people on AAAC have has few things or nothing in common with a military style. It is surprising to know you dress like you have something to do with an army.


My colleague Mr. L is quite correct - I was being teased for my old-fashioned appearance.

However AAAC very much is influenced by a military style, for all of the garments we admire can be said to have been originally designed by horses and war.


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## Langham (Nov 7, 2012)

orange fury said:


> It's a specific shade of faded red pants that can be worn as a replacement for khaki chinos in many cases. These are some of mine:
> 
> 
> and I was never physically threatened, even though words (and rejection) can be more painful. But I feel like that experience made me an emotionally stronger and more empathetic person. No one should ever have to go through that kind of stuff, but I think I was able to turn it into a positive in my own life.
> ...


I like that colour. Hence the moniker? Trousers like that are rarely seen here.

Bullying probably goes on everywhere, especially at school. At my school there was a lot of acutely physical violence, but perhaps correspondingly less verbal or psychological bullying. Teachers in those days were all too ready to resort to violence, and it filtered down.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

take_five said:


> I find it hard to comprehend this phrase. :icon_headagainstwal Why should one want to see a man poking fun at somebody else?


I guess that's how some people are, could be the way they were brought up in their household.


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## Fatman (May 7, 2013)

I like to judge those who judge me for my clothing...or something like that. 

Try wearing what I do in rural Maine and see what happens! It can be interesting!


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