# Topics to Avoid in Dinner Conversation



## Benmoudi6 (Mar 7, 2006)

The old rule asserted that polite conversation avoided discussion of religion, politics, and work. Does the rule continue to apply? Are one or more of these topics permissable, or have new topics been introduced? Or is there a way to discuss these topics without giving offense?


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## Fogey (Aug 27, 2005)

Today, it's no-holds-barred. Of course, by dinner conversation, I'm presuming you're meaning the modern custom of many people around a table eating, whilst each is talking on a cellphone to someone else not present.


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## 16128 (Feb 8, 2005)

Illnesses or anything repulsive. I've heard people discussing a recent reported bout of flesh-eating virus at dinner. Discussing diets is not appropriate, really. Nobody wants to hear a list of what someone can't eat. 

Give me politics any day.


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## android (Dec 8, 2004)

I don't want to hear about the details of anyones medical problems.


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

Abortion if there are others at the table who disagree with your viewpoint.


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## manicturncoat (Oct 4, 2004)

Money, politics & religion and if there are ladies present, sports.

I would add that politics is a very broad subject so you could discuss it but always being careful that the conversation does not become politically charged.


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## Tom Bell-Drier (Mar 1, 2006)

Colonic Irrigation


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## Tyto (Sep 22, 2004)

"My sister, she is prostitute. You know why? Because she like the money!"

But more seriously, Ben, I think your summation of the rule, suitably modified by VS, pretty much holds true today, at least for unfamiliar company. I have discussions of all three of these with friends, but we manage to disagree on these issues in a civil manner.

__________

Fair and softly goes far.


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## KenR (Jun 22, 2005)

My wife and I held a dinner party at our house in January. When one of the guests started discussing politics (in a politically charged manner) I simply stated that we do not discuss politics or religion at our table. End of discussion.

It seems almost impossible nowadays for people to discuss the subject in a rational manner. Everybody sounds like Whoopi Goldberg to me. Too much vitriol.


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## mpcsb (Jan 1, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by KenR_
> Everybody sounds like Whoopi Goldberg to me. Too much vitriol.


Whoopi Goldberg - Bill O'Reilly, same coin - different sides.


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## KenR (Jun 22, 2005)

I hear ya, mpcsb.


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## Trenditional (Feb 15, 2006)

Any topic that might be offense to your dinner partner.


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## Stan the Man (Mar 7, 2006)

To the previously listed religion and politics, I would add...

"Who's the best rock guitarist?"


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## Mr. Di Liberti (Jan 24, 2006)

> quote:_Originally posted by JLPWCXIII_
> 
> Today, it's no-holds-barred. Of course, by dinner conversation, I'm presuming you're meaning the modern custom of many people around a table eating, whilst each is talking on a cellphone to someone else not present.


Heh heh heh hehehhehehhehehhh

Way to funny and right on point!

Anthony

Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage ~ Theodore Roosevelt


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## Mr. Di Liberti (Jan 24, 2006)

I feel it's largely depends upon the company.

My girl's a nurse, and I've been to more then one meal where those of less then iron like intestinal fortitude would have blown chunck's across the table.

Anthony

Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage ~ Theodore Roosevelt


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## JohnnyVegas (Nov 17, 2005)

I'm not sure if anything should not be discussed over dinner. As long as everyone can discuss the topics in a reasonable manner, of course. Otherwise, remove the hotheads.


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## BertieW (Jan 17, 2006)

The fly that's landed in the jelly. Off limits!

Eat around it.

********************************
"It's about time some publicly-spirited person told you where to get off. The trouble with you, Spode, is that just because you've succeeded in convincing a handful of half-wits to disfigure the London scene by going about in black shorts, you think you're someone."


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## J. Homely (Feb 7, 2006)

If people of divergent viewpoints are unable to discuss politics and religion with candor and civility, the people are the problem, not the topic.


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## JLibourel (Jun 13, 2004)

Discussing politics with "candor and civility" is difficult if not impossible when the issues are divise and the convictions passionately held.

Already mentioned, but a real pet peeve of mine, is the topic of surgery. I don't want to hear about it at the table.

Another beef I have is men who want to give me a blow-by-blow of their wife's having a kid--"and then her water started breaking, etc."--as long as the wife's fine and the baby's fine, that's all the detail I want to know. Of course, I am old school: I am of the opinion that a husband's proper place when his wife is having a baby is waiting anxiously outside the delivery room, not in the midst of that bloody mess! My mother was of the same thinking. I can remember her saying that the first time a husband should see his wife and baby, they should have been cleaned up, the baby in a nice little blanket--"sort of her present to him," were her words. I know this is antithetical to how most of today's young women feel about this.


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## J. Homely (Feb 7, 2006)

> quote:_Originally posted by JLibourel_
> 
> Discussing politics with "candor and civility" is difficult if not impossible when the issues are divise and the convictions passionately held.


Only when the conversants come from a perspective that insists that their point of view is the only 'valid' point of view, and when they lack the ability to articulate their own point of view without overtly or covertly insulting those who disagree. It's really not difficult to do, but we seem to be mired in a culture that delights in childish argumentative one-upsmanship as a lazy substitute for intelligent discussion.


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## Wimsey (Jan 28, 2006)

Whether the childless are free-riders.


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## Badrabbit (Nov 18, 2004)

At my family's dinner table if we didn't talk about politics, religion, or work, silence would continue indefinitely.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Women thrive on novelty and are easy meat for the commerce of fashion. Men prefer old pipes and torn jackets. 
Anthony Burgess


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## Fogey (Aug 27, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Wimsey_
> 
> Whether the childless are free-riders.


 Or whether there are problems with global wealth distribution? [^]


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## 16128 (Feb 8, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Wimsey_
> 
> Whether the childless are free-riders.


[}]


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## KenR (Jun 22, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by J. Homely_
> 
> Only when the conversants come from a perspective that insists that their point of view is the only 'valid' point of view


Unfortunately I know too many people who's opinion is stated as fact.


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## BertieW (Jan 17, 2006)

Ken's on the money here. This is the biggest hurdle to fruitful discourse. The trick (and it's a big one) is treating ideas more like bubbles out in the aether that you just happen to snag every now and again. Sure, go ahead and share, but don't get too attached to any one viewpoint, or at least don't feel as if you OWN that view exclusively, or that you were the sole gent entrusted to hash it about. I suppose that's more of a Buddhist perspective, and a difficult one to really live. Still, not impossible, and under such circumstances civil conversation, regardless of subject, can occur.



> quote:_Originally posted by KenR_
> 
> 
> 
> ...


********************************
"It's about time some publicly-spirited person told you where to get off. The trouble with you, Spode, is that just because you've succeeded in convincing a handful of half-wits to disfigure the London scene by going about in black shorts, you think you're someone."


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## Patrick06790 (Apr 10, 2005)

Once in a while I get invited to dinner and because I work at a newspaper - even a dinky one - people want to get my take on current events.

Not because they're interested, usually, but because they're looking for a lead-in to their own diatribe.

(In my neck of the woods that's almost always a tedious, predictable "Everything that is wrong everywhere is the fault of the Evil Bush blah blah blah" rant; less frequently a guest wishes to run through that week's Rush Limbaugh material.)

A surefire way to completely derail these menaces to a enjoyable evening is to listen politely, and then say,

"Yes, but you're forgetting one crucial factor..." and then launch into the Lizard People riff.

Oh, baby! Way to clear the room!

They can't get away from me fast enough.


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## Srynerson (Aug 26, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Benmoudi6_
> 
> The old rule asserted that polite conversation avoided discussion of religion, politics, and work. Does the rule continue to apply? Are one or more of these topics permissable, or have new topics been introduced? Or is there a way to discuss these topics without giving offense?


I would say work is no longer on that list. Indeed, at most social functions that's the only interesting, but non-controversial, thing there is to discuss with other people.


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