# What makes someone successful?



## nick.mccann (May 3, 2009)

This may be a stupid questions. What makes someone successful? Is it intelligence, luck, hard work or some combination of those things or others? I was thinking about people I know who are complete morons that are doing well, while kids I know that had good grades and high SAT scores that aren't going anywhere.


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## PKJR (Nov 7, 2009)

As Jim Rohn said:
Humans have the remarkable ability to get exactly what they must have. But there is a difference between a "must" and a "want"


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## Cruiser (Jul 21, 2006)

First one must define "success." It means different things to different people.

Cruiser


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## Phinn (Apr 18, 2006)

The findings that I find most persuasive indicate that intelligence is very weakly correlated with success, and only becomes a determining factor on the low end of the spectrum. Instead, the top 3 factors are all emotional in nature. 

Here's my take on it -- the far and away, all-time, hands down, number one factor for determining success goes by many different names, but they all describe the same basic trait (or cluster of traits): drive, motivation, passion, self-directedness, volition, the absence of ambivalence, single-mindedness, clearly-defined desires, etc. (The old-fashioned word for it was "ambition," but that word came to refer to only one particular kind of success: in business or politics, and unfortunately came to exclude forms of success that could be defined in more subjective, personal terms.) 

The second most important factor in determining success is a strong set of social skills -- capacity for empathy (knowing what other people are feeling), leading and coordinating the efforts of others, motivating others, making friends, gaining respect, forging social bonds with high levels of trust, confidence, etc. 

The third most important factor is adaptability to changing circumstances, capacity to handle change, to tolerate frustration and setbacks. 

Exceptional intelligence and/or competence in technical areas are not even on the radar screen. In many cases they are negatively correlated with success. 

As for a definition of success, the only one that I can see that matters is one based on subjective criteria -- the extent to which the person in question feels that he has been a success, has a sense of fulfillment and reward, etc. in terms of the fulfillment of his own, most important desires.


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## MarkfromMD (Nov 5, 2008)

Redoing an old quote:

If you have to ask if you are successful, chances are you aren't. :icon_smile_big: 

Kidding aside, I think it is mostly drive/ambition/motivation as mentioned above. You do also need to define success like Cruiser said. Some people are happy making an average income, living a relaxed life, spending time with their family, others are happy working 70 hour weeks and amassing wealth.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

^^
+1. You know you have made it when your thoughts and actions consistently reflect a sense of inner peace regarding past, present and future events. By that standard, I'm pretty sure I have the present and future covered. However, I've still got a good amount of work to do in resolving concerns of the past! :crazy:


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

having a good job,good money and having good friends who support your future.


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## harvey_birdman (Mar 10, 2008)

> *What is Success?*
> To laugh often and much;
> To win the respect of intelligent people
> and the affection of children;
> ...


.....


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

Two kinds of people in the world - those who want stuff and those that are willing to do what they have to do to have stuff. What that is they are willing to do is not always good.


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## mrkleen (Sep 21, 2007)

To me, success has nothing to do with how much stuff you have, or how much money you have in the bank. It is a matter of how much you have achieved in effecting those around you - how happy you are - what kind of parent and husband you are etc.

My grandfather owned his own barber shop in the same town for 57 years. He was the president of the chamber of commerce, was on the board of directors for numerous local banks and corporations, he was a WWII hero, a football star, married his HS sweetheart, and had 3 beautiful children. He was a leader at the Knights of Columbus, VFW, ITAM Club, Salvation Army, Masons etc etc.

By any measure, he was a highly respected member of his local community, yet when he died, he had little more than his home and car to leave to anyone. Does that mean he was less successful than someone who was rich but lived as a miserable person with no real friends or loved ones around him?

Give me personal success in love and life over "stuff" any day of the week.


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## Dhaller (Jan 20, 2008)

The very notion of success (in the American context, at least) implies a certain degree of competition... when we say "successful", what we really mean is "more successful than others".

So the key is not only hard work, but working harder that ANYONE else - it's no wonder that successful people tend to be first to the office and last to leave.

Intelligence and luck are great resources, but it's the effort that counts.

DH


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

mrkleen said:


> To me, success has nothing to do with how much stuff you have, or how much money you have in the bank. It is a matter of how much you have achieved in effecting those around you - how happy you are - what kind of parent and husband you are etc.
> 
> My grandfather owned his own barber shop in the same town for 57 years. He was the president of the chamber of commerce, was on the board of directors for numerous local banks and corporations, he was a WWII hero, a football star, married his HS sweetheart, and had 3 beautiful children. He was a leader at the Knights of Columbus, VFW, ITAM Club, Salvation Army, Masons etc etc.
> 
> ...


+1

So many people have bought into the "stuff = happiness" delusion. It's hardly surprising, considering the relentless amounts of marketing and propaganda we're bombarded with to that effect every day.

The truth is, beyond the basic requirements for daily living (food, clothing and shelter), stuff = misery, and the true measure of success is love.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

FrankDC said:


> +1
> 
> So many people have bought into the "stuff = happiness" delusion. It's hardly surprising, considering the relentless amounts of marketing and propaganda we're bombarded with to that effect every day.
> 
> The truth is, beyond the basic requirements for daily living (food, clothing and shelter), stuff = misery, and the true measure of success is love.


Not as much as those who think stuff = only tangible and/or material possessions. Stuff includes education, family, relationships, influence, respect AND HAPPINESS.

For example, if you want family and love you have to be willing to do to get it. Many want it, but simply aren't willing to make sacrifices and dedicate resources to building it.

*Intangible stuff is also stuff.*

Don't follow _stupid_ off the cliff Frank. We count on you to differentiate yourself ...


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## Andy (Aug 25, 2002)

I was in conversation with a gentleman at the MAGIC show in Las Vegas a couple of years ago and his advice for success was:

1. Show up on time.
2. Dress appropriately
3. Do what you're told

Simple and probably right! Finding your passion in life doesn't hurt either!


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

Andy said:


> I was in conversation with a gentleman at the MAGIC show in Las Vegas a couple of years ago and his advice for success was:
> 
> 1. Show up on time.
> 2. Dress appropriately
> ...


Yep, great advice! AKA "Show up, shut up, & keep up!"


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

ksinc said:


> Don't follow _stupid_ off the cliff Frank. We count on you to differentiate yourself ...


Yes, you're an infinite fountain of love.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

FrankDC said:


> Yes, you're an infinite fountain of love.


LOL! :aportnoy:


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

mrkleen said:


> To me, success has nothing to do with how much stuff you have, or how much money you have in the bank. It is a matter of how much you have achieved in effecting those around you - how happy you are - what kind of parent and husband you are etc.
> 
> My grandfather owned his own barber shop in the same town for 57 years. He was the president of the chamber of commerce, was on the board of directors for numerous local banks and corporations, he was a WWII hero, a football star, married his HS sweetheart, and had 3 beautiful children. He was a leader at the Knights of Columbus, VFW, ITAM Club, Salvation Army, Masons etc etc.
> 
> ...


Great Post!!!


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## nick.mccann (May 3, 2009)

I thought a lot about this on my way to Orlando today, taking the long route to clear my head. I saw a man outside an restaurant who looked to be in his 40's and I wondered why he was still working that type of job at his age and why am I any different then him? What can I do that he probably can't? I don't care about being extremely wealthy, driving a Lexus with a massive house. I don't want to work a horrible job when I'm older, have a career that is working towards something. Success for me is being happily married and having a family and being able to take care of them. Thus that is why having a decent job is important, something to make enough money to live well. I realized it's drive or ambition, it has different names. It seems like most people are feeble minded who don't aim high enough. And aren't willing to go out and make things happen. I don't get how people can live like that. I guess some people are willing to settle and because of that not obtain success that they want. 

It seems like I know a lot of people who are just "getting by" without any ambitions to become more. Perhaps the people who obtain a successful life are those who are willing to put everything on the table and make it happen and not settle for less. I've decided I want to always do the best I can, not so I can brag or boast. As I age I cannot settle for ok, or average but I am constantly looking at every area of my life and trying to enhance it and make myself better. What is life if you're not constantly moving forwards, becoming better?


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

nick.mccann said:


> I thought a lot about this on my way to Orlando today, taking the long route to clear my head. I saw a man outside an restaurant who looked to be in his 40's and I wondered why he was still working that type of job at his age and why am I any different then him? What can I do that he probably can't? I don't care about being extremely wealthy, driving a Lexus with a massive house. I don't want to work a horrible job when I'm older, have a career that is working towards something. Success for me is being happily married and having a family and being able to take care of them. Thus that is why having a decent job is important, something to make enough money to live well. I realized it's drive or ambition, it has different names. It seems like most people are feeble minded who don't aim high enough. And aren't willing to go out and make things happen. I don't get how people can live like that. I guess some people are willing to settle and because of that not obtain success that they want.
> 
> It seems like I know a lot of people who are just "getting by" without any ambitions to become more. Perhaps the people who obtain a successful life are those who are willing to put everything on the table and make it happen and not settle for less. I've decided I want to always do the best I can, not so I can brag or boast. As I age I cannot settle for ok, or average but I am constantly looking at every area of my life and trying to enhance it and make myself better. What is life if you're not constantly moving forwards, becoming better?


Exactly.

Define success for yourself and then put everything on the table to make it happen.

I think Tiger is giving us a window into the decision-making process. Supposedly he has two goals: family and winning 19+ majors, but it seems he was unwilling to give up everything else to make those two things happen.


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

nick.mccann said:


> I thought a lot about this on my way to Orlando today, taking the long route to clear my head. I saw a man outside an restaurant who looked to be in his 40's and I wondered why he was still working that type of job at his age and why am I any different then him? What can I do that he probably can't? I don't care about being extremely wealthy, driving a Lexus with a massive house. I don't want to work a horrible job when I'm older, have a career that is working towards something. Success for me is being happily married and having a family and being able to take care of them. Thus that is why having a decent job is important, something to make enough money to live well. I realized it's drive or ambition, it has different names. It seems like most people are feeble minded who don't aim high enough. And aren't willing to go out and make things happen. I don't get how people can live like that. I guess some people are willing to settle and because of that not obtain success that they want.
> 
> It seems like I know a lot of people who are just "getting by" without any ambitions to become more. Perhaps the people who obtain a successful life are those who are willing to put everything on the table and make it happen and not settle for less. I've decided I want to always do the best I can, not so I can brag or boast. As I age I cannot settle for ok, or average but I am constantly looking at every area of my life and trying to enhance it and make myself better. What is life if you're not constantly moving forwards, becoming better?


You started this thread by asking a question that nobody other than yourself could answer. So it's great to see you've formulated your own definition of success. It's the only definition that matters, or should matter to you.

Also, don't be too quick to judge the life paths and definitions of success chosen by other people. Create and follow your own path, and don't assume others are feeble-minded simply because they appear to be satisfied with themselves, satisfied with their jobs, or aspire to nothing greater than what they already are. I don't know if you're familiar with Dr. Leo Buscaglia, but if you're not, IMO he has remarkable insights into the nature of true success, and it's entirely possible that the man outside the restaurant is the happiest and most successful person you'll ever meet.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

mrkleen said:


> To me, success has nothing to do with how much stuff you have, or how much money you have in the bank. It is a matter of how much you have achieved in effecting those around you - how happy you are - what kind of parent and husband you are etc.
> 
> My grandfather owned his own barber shop in the same town for 57 years. He was the president of the chamber of commerce, was on the board of directors for numerous local banks and corporations, he was a WWII hero, a football star, married his HS sweetheart, and had 3 beautiful children. He was a leader at the Knights of Columbus, VFW, ITAM Club, Salvation Army, Masons etc etc.
> 
> ...


mrkleen: Thank you for a very insightful post. It truly resonates within the context of my reflections on my life experience. You see, I think I was one of those who put far too much emphasis on my work and career development and perhaps too little emphasis on my family, church and local community. If awards, promotions and public recognition are used as measures, one might say I was a success. But, as I agonize over lost opportunities to experience certain things with my children and to be a real participant in my church and community and struggle to make up for lost time in those regards, I find myself questioning the validity of earlier conclusions as to my success and hoping I have sufficient time left to correct those oversights!

Your Grandfather sounds like a person that I really would have enjoyed knowing,,,wish I had! Again, thank-you for a wonderful post.


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## Phinn (Apr 18, 2006)

FrankDC said:


> Also, don't be too quick to judge the life paths and definitions of success chosen by other people. Create and follow your own path, and don't assume others are feeble-minded simply because they appear to be satisfied with themselves, satisfied with their jobs, or aspire to nothing greater than what they already are. I don't know if you're familiar with Dr. Leo Buscaglia, but if you're not, IMO he has remarkable insights into the nature of true success, and it's entirely possible that the man outside the restaurant is the happiest and most successful person you'll ever meet.


I agree with Frank. I think Nick is spot-on when he says that it is his drive/motivation that is the key ingredient to success and happiness, but can't agree with the idea that unsuccessful people don't care or are feeble-minded.

Some are, of course, but in my experience, a huge number of the less-successful and unhappy people I have encountered are simply emotionally incapable of looking inward and knowing what they truly want. They are cut-off from their own emotions in most ways, including their own desires and preferences.

A combination of bad parenting and bad schooling is the primary cause of what I am talking about. Since the beginning, one of the overt, stated goals of "modern" education has been to *break the will* of young people. The theory was that young people are inherently savages, and must be conditioned over a period of many years, from as early an age as possible (hence the invention of Kindergarten) to submit to the "civilizing" influence of the system. That theory has been refined over the last hundred years, but not much has changed in practice.

Schools are only a small part of it. The vast majority of the problem is bad parenting. The hideous history of humanity is essentially the history of bad parenting. (Of course, bad parenting begets, enables, tolerates and even applauds bad schooling, so parenting is the ultimate source of these problems. Schools are just the parents' sub-contractors.)

"Breaking the will" means destroying a person's sense of self-direction. It is a way of causing a person's instinctive sense of volition to malfunction. It is a way of supplanting a person's innate motivation and drive and replacing it with implanted, parent-approved and school-approved motivations.

Either the kid falls in line or doesn't. The ones that don't get ground down into military recruits and employees. The ones that fall in line are granted more discretion, since they have demonstrated that they can be trusted to make parent-approved and school-approved choices on their own.

Very few people are even minimally connected with their own true feelings, their own desires, their own preferences, because this connection has been drummed out of them, either through a concerted effort or by mere indifference. These people need compassion, not derision.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

FrankDC said:


> You started this thread by asking a question that nobody other than yourself could answer. So it's great to see you've formulated your own definition of success. It's the only definition that matters, or should matter to you.


absolutely.


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## DCLawyer68 (Jun 1, 2009)

Success to me means defining the terms upon one which wants to live life, and then meeting them. 

If you don't define success for yourself but rather accept that it means a large income, etc., you're living your life on someone else's terms, and that makes you unsuccessful.


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

Phinn, IIRC you're both an anarchist and atheist? Is anarchy the "sense of self-direction", "instinctive sense of volition" and "innate motivation" which our evil and stupid parents and school system "broke"?

IMO your philosophy, if it can even be called a philosophy, is one of the most bizarre and backward I've ever come across, and I'm trying to figure out if your anarchy (and maybe your atheism) is a cause or a result of it.

Also IMO, it's amazing that no one, apparently, has ever explained to you how the universe works. What differentiates human beings from all other animals is our power to alter and create our own realities, to literally create our own worlds in which to live, and if a man sees himself as a permanent, full-time victim, whether of society, his parents or schools etc, that's precisely what he'll be and become.

Finally and also IMO, spouting your clueless and delusional paranoid garbage to school-aged kids is beyond reprehensible. Do you have children?


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## mrkleen (Sep 21, 2007)

forsbergacct2000 said:


> Great Post!!!





eagle2250 said:


> mrkleen: Thank you for a very insightful post. It truly resonates within the context of my reflections on my life experience. You see, I think I was one of those who put far too much emphasis on my work and career development and perhaps too little emphasis on my family, church and local community. If awards, promotions and public recognition are used as measures, one might say I was a success. But, as I agonize over lost opportunities to experience certain things with my children and to be a real participant in my church and community and struggle to make up for lost time in those regards, I find myself questioning the validity of earlier conclusions as to my success and hoping I have sufficient time left to correct those oversights!
> 
> Your Grandfather sounds like a person that I really would have enjoyed knowing,,,wish I had! Again, thank-you for a wonderful post.


 Thanks to you both as well.

He was a good man, and in fact was about as moderate a Massachusetts Democrat as you were likely to find. I am sure he would have found lots of common ground on lots of subjects with you both, and lots of others out here.

I am sure he called me a wishy washy liberal on more than one occasion as well. :icon_smile:


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

Your grandpa sounds cool. (You would probably actually get along with me well in person, too. My politics are more conservative than yours, but except when I'm on this board, they really don't factor much into how I live and interact with others. I'm not nearly as conservative as many are.)

I grew up in a small town and can really identify with a lot of your grampa's values. (As an athletic wannabe who was frequently an athletic Gilligan, I can't totally identify with the football star thing, but I do admire the talent.)


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## Phinn (Apr 18, 2006)

FrankDC said:


> Phinn, IIRC you're both an anarchist and atheist? Is anarchy the "sense of self-direction", "instinctive sense of volition" and "innate motivation" which our evil and stupid parents and school system "broke"?


No, anarchy is the nature of human society. It is the emergent structure that arises from the fact that we are independent agents, each capable of deciding what's advantageous and preferable, each capable of forecasting what the alternative outcomes of our decisions and behavior might be, and thus choose how to behave from among various forms of cooperation and competition.

You can program a rudimentary version of this sort of society into a computer, and see the same kind of emergent social structures arise.

An anarchist is someone who understands the reality of human social behavior.

I'm an atheist because religion is ridiculous, and was obviously designed and promoted as a social control mechanism.



FrankDC said:


> IMO your philosophy, if it can even be called a philosophy, is one of the most bizarre and backward I've ever come across, and I'm trying to figure out if your anarchy (and maybe your atheism) is a cause or a result of it.


I don't have "a" philosophy. Philosophy is the pursuit of truth. One cannot have "a truth." There is only one truth. You either agree with it, or you are wrong.

Truth is, however, often hard to comprehend, because we are limited and susceptible to error. As a result, when contemplating the truth, on any topic, it's best to acknowledge that "I don't know what the truth is" is applicable most of the time.



FrankDC said:


> Also IMO, it's amazing that no one, apparently, has ever explained to you how the universe works. What differentiates human beings from all other animals is our power to alter and create our own realities, to literally create our own worlds in which to live, and if a man sees himself as a permanent, full-time victim, whether of society, his parents or schools etc, that's precisely what he'll be and become.


Thank you for taking the time to explain to me how the universe works.

I am well aware of the process of altering our environment. Other animals do the same thing, by the way, so it's not exactly unique to humans. But humans possess the greatest capacity for prediction among animals, and thus we have a special ability -- to choose how to behave from among various options. See above re: anarchy.

I am, however, a bit concerned about your assertion that "if a man sees himself as a permanent, full-time victim, whether of society, his parents or schools etc, that's precisely what he'll be and become." This appears to be wrong in many respects, or at least a gross overstatement.

A person who doesn't face the mis-treatment he experienced as a child will end up perpetuating the pattern of suppressing or ignoring his emotions his whole life, with disastrous consequences, like depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, violence, sexual dysfunction, grandiosity, even less severe habits like procrastination or social anxiety. The ONLY way to avoid such results is to fully experience and then understand the emotions arising from parental abuse and neglect. Brushing it all aside can sometimes be a major reason for remaining a "permanent victim," rather than a way of ending it.



FrankDC said:


> Finally and also IMO, spouting your clueless and delusional paranoid garbage to school-aged kids is beyond reprehensible. Do you have children?


From the tone of your question, I don't think you are asking in good faith.


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## mrkleen (Sep 21, 2007)

forsbergacct2000 said:


> Your grandpa sounds cool. (You would probably actually get along with me well in person, too. My politics are more conservative than yours, but except when I'm on this board, they really don't factor much into how I live and interact with others. I'm not nearly as conservative as many are.)


I concur...in person I am not at all like "Mr Kleen" - who is my radical, pushy alter ego.

I am certainly liberal, but more of a pragmatic liberal....except for a few, I am sure I would get along just fine with nearly everyone out there....you and Eagle at the top of the list.

Cant say this temporary moment of reconciliation will last, but just know that I never mean to make it personal out here and apologize if I made it seem that way.

All that holiday music must be rubbing off on me. :icon_smile:


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

I've played a bunch of that this last week. (Tonight, I'll do a few minutes at our Weight Loss Center Christmas Party.)


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

Cruiser said:


> First one must define "success." It means different things to different people.
> 
> Cruiser


I consider myself successful because I have lowered my bar and expectations to such a degree, that only I can appreciate how far I've come!! :icon_smile_big:


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## EagleTurboThrustGTX (Dec 6, 2009)

nick.mccann said:


> This may be a stupid questions. What makes someone successful? Is it intelligence, luck, hard work or some combination of those things or others? I was thinking about people I know who are complete morons that are doing well, while kids I know that had good grades and high SAT scores that aren't going anywhere.


Success in the traditional sense:

If they didn't work hard, they're probably extremely intelligent and lucky. 
If they're not intelligent, they probably worked extremely hard and were also extremely lucky. 
If they're unlucky, they're probably extremely intelligent and worked extremely hard.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

doing a good job and doing it properly,taking orders,good punctuality and attendance.


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## Scoundrel (Oct 30, 2007)

https://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=3074487


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

Scoundrel said:


> https://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=3074487


"The Resume Mocked Round the World". What a royal head case.

https://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2006/10/19/the-resume-mocked-round-the-world-vayner-speaks/


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## Coleman (Mar 18, 2009)

No one answered sex, drugs, & rock'n'roll? I thought this was The Interchange. :icon_smile_big:


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## the_good_life (Mar 26, 2008)

DCLawyer68 said:


> Success to me means defining the terms upon one which wants to live life, and then meeting them.
> 
> If you don't define success for yourself but rather accept that it means a large income, etc., you're living your life on someone else's terms, and that makes you unsuccessful.


Very pertinent. Success indeed means being at one with yourself. 
As to the more conventional Western definition of material wealth etc. it has been shown time and again that most people end up in the class they were born into, even - in fact, particularly - in the land of unlimited myths, er, opportunity (as reported in that well-known socialist rag, the ). Elites are ingenuously apt at reproducing themselves and the really intelligent ones have learned to open modest windows of meritocracy so as to absorb the ambitious from the lower ranks to maintain social stability.


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

Sentimental Hogwash!!


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## Cruiser (Jul 21, 2006)

Coleman said:


> No one answered sex, drugs, & rock'n'roll?


As someone who came of age in the 60's let me address that. First, sex is out because we now know that it can give you diseases that can kill you. Second, drugs are out because we now know that they can kill you also. And finally, without the sex and drugs most rock and roll sounds like crap. It was more fun when we didn't know these things. :icon_smile_big:

Cruiser


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## Coleman (Mar 18, 2009)

Come on, Cruiser! Only the good die young! :aportnoy:


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## PedanticTurkey (Jan 26, 2008)

What's success? Getting what you want. What makes someone else successful, though, is getting what _you_ want.


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

A little heavy petting and weed never killed anyone!! :teacha:


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## TomK (Nov 18, 2009)

I failed a few times so the only thing left to do was to succeed. 

I have a nice home in a nice town, my own business and I drive nice vehicles - although I could dress a bit better (hence my finding this forum for help)

All that said....my kids like to crawl all over me when I am home and that's the success that makes me happiest. The wife is pretty darned great too.

Like the poster who saw the man outside the shop and wondered the difference.....I don't know why some and not otheres, personally I never gave up or settled - although I almost did given my start in life.


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

(of course the kids wash their hands if you happen to be wearing your new suit and tie when you get home - - - - Success cannot include wrinkles or stained clothing to a true AAAC man!!!) 

Ah, the curses of Igentry - - - -

Seriously, your life sounds really successful to me. The most important thing is that it sounds like you, wife and children are all happy!!


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

knowing that you can do a good job so that you can advance in the company.


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## Bermuda (Aug 16, 2009)

I have always remembered this motto: "Dress for Success"


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## Ricardo-CL (Mar 31, 2009)

Success is about achieving goals, regardless if they are goods, education degrees, upper positions at job, family, and a large etc.

I'm not completely fine about that definition though, because it implies that if someone is not able to achieve its goals, it becomes a loser, regardless if he/she deserved that. And that's probably one of the worse aspects of our contemporary society, where everyone can be president, but anyone is under the scrutiny from the rest, and permanently willing not to fall into the 'losers' category.

In other words, is easier to be successful nowadays than in the past, yet the cliff to the abyss is closer than ever.

Personally, I don't like to judge whether I'm successful or not; by the parameters of society I might be, I have a nice condo at the capitol city, and a house at the countryside, a nice car and some other stuff, I have a nice education and do extensive work for the community, but I don't feel it's right for me to sit on my butt and judge whether I'm successful or not.


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## turban1 (May 29, 2008)

*as senator kerry once said to me...*

marry rich and often.


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

Also Smith Barney...

"We make money the Old Fashioned Way,

we MARRY it!!" :teacha:


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

turban1 said:


> marry rich and often.


and hopefully she'll make a million dollars.


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## 16128 (Feb 8, 2005)

Phinn said:


> The findings that I find most persuasive indicate that intelligence is very weakly correlated with success, and only becomes a determining factor on the low end of the spectrum. Instead, the top 3 factors are all emotional in nature.
> 
> Here's my take on it -- the far and away, all-time, hands down, number one factor for determining success goes by many different names, but they all describe the same basic trait (or cluster of traits): drive, motivation, passion, self-directedness, volition, the absence of ambivalence, single-mindedness, clearly-defined desires, etc. (The old-fashioned word for it was "ambition," but that word came to refer to only one particular kind of success: in business or politics, and unfortunately came to exclude forms of success that could be defined in more subjective, personal terms.)
> 
> ...


I agree with you, but I'd add a factor and subtract a factor. I'd add connections, which is sort of tied to the social skills item you mention. You can make connections, but you might be privileged enough to have some built in.

When I say "subtract a factor", I mean that I know highly talented or competent people who are successful despite having poor social skills, or untalented people who are so good at selling themselves that they become successful.

IE: If Ralph Lauren was my dad, I'd probably have a higher chance of becoming a fashion designer, whether I was talented or personable or ambitious or not. If I'm not connected, I need more of those other things to make up for not having this.


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

Howard said:


> and hopefully she'll make a million dollars.


Dude,

The key is making sure she has it BEFORE you marry her!! :teacha:


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

WouldaShoulda said:


> Dude,
> 
> The key is making sure she has it BEFORE you marry her!! :teacha:


Plus you also want to make sure you have enough income too,I mean what's the couple going to live on?


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## green_isle (Oct 16, 2009)

Phinn said:


> The findings that I find most persuasive indicate that intelligence is very weakly correlated with success, and only becomes a determining factor on the low end of the spectrum. Instead, the top 3 factors are all emotional in nature.
> 
> Here's my take on it -- the far and away, all-time, hands down, number one factor for determining success goes by many different names, but they all describe the same basic trait (or cluster of traits): drive, motivation, passion, self-directedness, volition, the absence of ambivalence, single-mindedness, clearly-defined desires, etc. (The old-fashioned word for it was "ambition," but that word came to refer to only one particular kind of success: in business or politics, and unfortunately came to exclude forms of success that could be defined in more subjective, personal terms.)
> 
> ...


I would definitely have to disagree with your notion that exceptional intelligence and competence in technical areas are negatively correlated with success. Do you know any music producers, or engineers? Do you have any blue collar friends? A decent welder or electrician can make more than most articulate, socially adept college graduates. Anyone who possesses a specialized skill that is in demand will generally enjoy greater wealth and independence than a non-skilled, unintelligent person. A brain surgeon fits your description of having exceptional intelligence and technical skills. Would you say that they are unsuccessful. Have you ever met a naturally gifted artist or musician? While for some it may take volition in order to gain such skills, others find the practice of their skill to be rewarding in its own right and thus self perpetuating.


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## goplutus (Jun 4, 2005)

green_isle said:


> I would definitely have to disagree with your notion that exceptional intelligence and competence in technical areas are negatively correlated with success. Do you know any music producers, or engineers? Do you have any blue collar friends? A decent welder or electrician can make more than most articulate, socially adept college graduates. Anyone who possesses a specialized skill that is in demand will generally enjoy greater wealth and independence than a non-skilled, unintelligent person. A brain surgeon fits your description of having exceptional intelligence and technical skills. Would you say that they are unsuccessful. Have you ever met a naturally gifted artist or musician? While for some it may take volition in order to gain such skills, others find the practice of their skill to be rewarding in its own right and thus self perpetuating.


intelligence is required, yes. exceptional intelligence, no, this only helps if the other skills complement. brain surgeons must be smart, but not Einstein. bill gates, for example - very smart (but there are thousands much smarter), but his social and business instincts in combination are the key.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

being happy in your job
making a good salary
getting along with your co-workers.


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