# The fake cough...



## The Gabba Goul (Feb 11, 2005)

So...yesterday, I was enjoying the afternoon and a well deserved quiet moment with an iced green tea outside of a local coffee shop...I'm sitting at a table when I decide to light up, now there was a lady sitting not too far away from me, and normally, if somebody is sitting close by, I ask if they'd mind before I just puff, but she had her face burried in the paper, and pretended to ignore me when I tried to get her attention. Anyway, I was very mindful to sit downwind, and blow my smoke away from her, but about half way through my cigarette it started...

Now I dont mind if somebody would rather I didnt smoke around them, just ask me politely, and I'll put the thing out or move or whatever, but that fake cough that all these anti-tobacco nuts do whenever somebody smokes around them is, to me, like nails on a chalkboard. So perhaps it was wrong of me, but I wasnt about to move untill she said something, which finally she did, she was polite enough about it, so I moved, but still...the fake cough...It really got on my nerves...do people think that this method is actually more subtle, or do they think that intentionally being obnoxious is going to make people do what they want??? I dunno, it seems to me that if she was all that worried about her health she wouldnt be drinking a heavily caffinated beverage with caramel syrup and whipped cream or whatever...but seriously...and not to add another chapter to the legendary ongoing AAAC tobacco debate, but what's the deal? This isnt the first time I've had to deal with the fake cough, and I try to be a respectful smoker, so if you'd like me to put my ciggy jsut ask...why is that so hard???

*****
[image]https://radio.weblogs.com/0119318/Screenshots/rose.jpg[/image]"See...What I'm gonna do is wear a shirt only once, and then give it right away to the laundry...eh?
A new shirt every day!!!"​


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

I'm allergic to smoke, but this is a hard one.

I am assuming you were not in a non-smoking section. (You don't seem like the kind of lout who would light up in non-smoking from most of your posts.)

While I'm allergic, I see nothing to be gained by treating smokers rudely. If I'm in a "smoking" section, I usually deal with it as well as I can and leave as soon as I can. Since most people can't smoke at their desks any more, I really don't have to spend a lot of time around smoke.

(The smoky bars are one thing I do not miss now that I rarely if ever play music in bands any more.)

I guess I don't like the humiliating cough thing. If you want to educate smokers so they will try to drop the habit, you will only make them defensive if you engage them rudely. Thus, if you engage the smoker rudely, what are you REALLY trying to accomplish??


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Gabba, I hate ciggy smoke. However, if I am sitting in a smoking area and someone lights up, that is just tough luck. It would be like going to a nudist beach and then complaining someone has no clothes on! 

If it was marked "No Smoking" and you lit up, I would politely point out the area was not for smoking. More often than not, they will put out their smoke, some with better grace than others. On the rare occasion when they get rude, how I deal with it varies on mood, settings, and who I am with.

Fake cough? Never. 

Warmest regards


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## GT3 (Mar 29, 2006)

I am really not a fan of smoke either ( [xx(] ), but if you made efforts to court her attention and she did not respond then she is being rude. The cough thing is condecending to me. In my opinion some subtleties are offensive, e.g. fake coughing. [}]

I wish there were more smokers like you who ask before lighting up, that is the behavior of a gentleman.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people. - F. M. Hubbard


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## Boris (Aug 4, 2005)

Let me start off by saying that I've never smoked. Ever. You were more than courteous to try and get her attention, blew the smoke downwind and away from her. She was rude enough to ignore you. I don't think, with all your precautions, that the actual smoke bothered her. My gut tells me that she just has a "thing" for smokers. She's sounds like one of these tobacco hating zealots that feels the need to "let you know" she doesn't like it, one way or another. These types of goofballs usually take pleasure in this type of antic. Short of not smoking, I don't think there was a thing you could do to avoid the phony cough.


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## In Mufti (Jan 28, 2005)

I don't smoke.

But if it's an area where smoking is permitted, I figure it's a smoker's right to light up. If I don't like it; I can move. There are lots of things people do in public that bother me, that's my problem not their's--as long it's within the law generally accepted norms of civilized conduct. Smoking is legal--that's the end of the discussion for me. If it's posted as a no smoking area, I might act differently.

I consider the fake cough move to be a rude and immature gesture usually made by people with a generally snotty attitude.

Regards,


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## globetrotter (Dec 30, 2004)

yup, here's the thing, I hate cigerrette smoke, but there are so few places that you can smoke anymore that I really believe that if it is legal, I am not going to begrudge anyone. and, if I am with somebody allergic or a baby, I will articulate it, none of this crap.


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

Once at a former retail job a customer lit up a cigarette in the men's room. I'm in the company uniform and politely explained there was no smoking in the building-duh and it is also a civil misdemeaner. He came unglued and tried to stop me from leaving until I washed my hands. " State Law requires you to wash your hands," he parroted although I had stepped in merely to check on the facility's cleanliness. I calmly explained if he didn't step aside my hands, washed or not would be on his collar and belt and the pallet of torn steer manure bags his next stop. Fortuitously, a local ChiP was in a stall, flashed his badge over the door and suggested the customer comply Coughing is one more example of a gutless society incapable of plain and direct speech, like the idiots who use 'body language' to indicate a lane change ( Humvee drifting on top of your rice burner econo box)


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## shoefetish (Jan 15, 2006)

Never encountered the coughing syndrome whilst smoking.

But encounter coughers on a daily basis in the mass transit trains. I just ignore them. If someone coughs and I don't move and they miss their stop as a result its their own fault. Funny how its the female of the species who is usually guilty.

Over time I have found a working solution. When someone coughs to pass through I just hand them a tissue. They usually end up apologising. Once a woman turned around and walked to the door on the other end without a word. All she had to say was "excuse me".


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## Eskie (May 5, 2006)

I am a smoker, but even before the draconian laws regarding no smoking just about everywhere in NYC, I always considered it the right thing to do to assure that those immediately around me would not object. I too find the "fake cough" unnecessary and somewhat insulting rather than simply expressing one's objection to smoking near them.

Kav, with all due respect, I think for the average smoker, especially caught in the restroom (remind anyone of high school?) that explaining the building's position is sufficient. Being reminded it is a civil misdemeanor is a bit heavy handed, and bound to elicit an aggressive response. After all, ignoring a stated policy of the location you in is in poor taste (even as a customer, you are a guest in someone else's environment and should respect that), but being told you are breaking the law is more than a poor, addicted smoker can take, especially as the substance in question is quite legal to buy and use.


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## 16128 (Feb 8, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Eskie_
> 
> I am a smoker, but even before the draconian laws regarding no smoking just about everywhere in NYC, I always considered it the right thing to do to assure that those immediately around me would not object. I too find the "fake cough" unnecessary and somewhat insulting rather than simply expressing one's objection to smoking near them.


Me too.

I agree on all counts, and think this fake coughing thing is just passive-aggressive behavior.

Gabba was OUTDOORS as well. This woman could have moved INDOORS where smoking is probably banned.

The reason many smokers sit outside is... so they can smoke. This is not a mystery. It is, however, a mystery why someone would complain about this in outdoor seating yet not object to the fetid emissions of passing buses.

Maybe she follows buses and fake coughs.

*"Buy the best, and you will only cry once." - Chinese proverb*


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## cconat2000 (Feb 16, 2006)

I say outdoors is fair game.


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## Martinis at 8 (Apr 14, 2006)

I love Paris!

I was there with a buddy, we were both having fine cigars. I usually try to stopover in Paris, Amsterdam, or Frankfurt while on my way to/from Nigeria. Anyways, the French smoke in their restaurants, and quite often the smell of a fine cigar will bring nods of approval.

So, here I am with my buddy smoking a fine habano as we check out the women, and this one American tourist woman with her puppy-dog metrosexual boyfriend decides to complain about the cigar smoke. I told her we would continue to smoke our cigars, and that if she looked around others were smoking cigarettes and cigars too. She got all huffy and went and complained to the manager.

The management told her if she didn't like it that she could leave - in fact they asked her to leave. She left all pissed off and as she was walking out the door with her puppy-dog metrosexual boyfriend trailing behind her, I yelled out, *"you ain't in New York City now beeotch!"*. Several people clapped, so I stood up and took a bow 

M8

_Currently posting from Angola_


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## Eskie (May 5, 2006)

I've been asked when sitting at an outdoor cafe by the staff, at an end table, not to smoke at the table. However, I could easliy have walked right down the row of tables, stand next to those seated, and blow smoke right at them, as I was now "outside" the restaurant. And you're right, the bus stop was right there with buses spewing black diesel fumes (which was why I chose the end well away from the stop). Needless to say, I haven't been back, and I certainly don't feel I'm missing out on their unremarkable cuisine.

Besides, the flies coming out of their rear kitchen door were distracting while being served.


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## KenR (Jun 22, 2005)

Gabba, as much as I like a good cigar I'm not going to light up in an outdoor cafe. I don't smoke cigarettes but I would apply the same rule for them. Too many people would object. Period.


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

I never mentioned the misdemeaner to the customer. I was merely pointing out that in California smoking inside a public building is virtually universal and a given. We have a given set of universal rules to make society function at a base level; walk and drive to the right, don't grope stranger's bodies or spank children not in our legal, direct custody. Sometimes it's hard, but it's fair. If you can respect the base rules then any legal behavior such as smoking outside shouldn't bring on coughing- or reminders from an employee who ran into the smoke filled big box retailer a week before because a cigarette smouldered in the dumpster overnight and evacuated the oblivious cash vault employees ( themselves coughing at the 'bad air that day')[xx(]


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## mpcsb (Jan 1, 2005)

I quit smoking around 6 months ago, and no, I'm not going to go into any holier-than-thou speech. I smoked for 25 years and I do agree the fake cough is irritating etc etc. I remember how annoyed I used to get at the fake coughers. Now that I've quit, they appear funny, yes as in humorous. I can laugh at them now whereas before I got angry. I laugh because for some reason fake coughers believe they are being polite in their 'subtle' reminder that they are so much better than the smoker, and sooo polite that would never actually say anything to the lowly and the damned. You see, I view them as hypocrites, and therefore open and free targets to be laughed at. Oh and if you're going to smoke - sit by me - it still smells soooo good.


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## pleasehelp (Sep 8, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Eskie_
> 
> However, I could easliy have walked right down the row of tables, stand next to those seated, and blow smoke right at them, as I was now "outside" the restaurant.


This is not entirely true... any first year law student could tell you why.


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## pleasehelp (Sep 8, 2005)

How do you know that it was fake? I cough very easily when I smell cig smoke.

In this situation you clearly know that you were making the person uncomfortable. Why would you only move if the woman was willing to confront you?


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## mano (Mar 17, 2003)

> quote:_Originally posted by mpcsb_
> 
> I quit smoking around 6 months ago, and no, I'm not going to go into any holier-than-thou speech. I smoked for 25 years and I do agree the fake cough is irritating etc etc. I remember how annoyed I used to get at the fake coughers. Now that I've quit, they appear funny, yes as in humorous. I can laugh at them now whereas before I got angry. I laugh because for some reason fake coughers believe they are being polite in their 'subtle' reminder that they are so much better than the smoker, and sooo polite that would never actually say anything to the lowly and the damned. You see, I view them as hypocrites, and therefore open and free targets to be laughed at. Oh and if you're going to smoke - sit by me - it still smells soooo good.


I'm an active cigar smoker and share this point of view. If I'm smoking in an appropriate place and someone does the "fake cough" I mentally turn their cough into something humorous, such as a farting sound. It really works!


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## Eskie (May 5, 2006)

> quote:_Originally posted by pleasehelp_
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> ...


Actually, in NYC, under the Department of Consumer Affairs Rules for NYC, an unenclosed cafe is only licensed to extend a distance onto the sidewalk that allows 8 feet of clear pedestrian space on sidewalks of 12 to 16 feet in width, or no more than 50% of the width of the sidewalk for those greater than 16 feet, again, to assure no obstruction to pedestrian traffic. A small unenclosed cafe, which is unlicensed, may extend no more than 4 1/2 feet from the property line. Anything past that is public pedestrian space, where, to date, no ordinance exists that prevents smoking. Short of targeting smoke directly into someone's face, which might fall under some public nuisance statute, I am free to stand and smoke right past that line which is licensed or regulated.


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## pleasehelp (Sep 8, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Eskie_
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The "blow smoke right at them" is the part that could be a problem.


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## Eskie (May 5, 2006)

> quote:
> 
> The "blow smoke right at them" is the part that could be a problem.


Quite true. I should have said right BY them rather than AT them, although I have no control as to where the wind may take the smoke. I believe it all comes down to common sense and courtesy. A smoker should honor the preference of a nonsmoker if the situation will place the nonsmoker in an uncomfortable environment (how far that environment may reasonably extend is open to debate), and common sense makes it clear that there are many locations where smoking is not appropriate. However, the nonsmoker should courteous, rather than believe they are entitled to a protected "bubble" of space, into which no smoke may pass, except, of course, the diesel fumes of trucks and buses passing by.


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## pleasehelp (Sep 8, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Eskie_
> 
> 
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> ...


Agreed


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## shoefetish (Jan 15, 2006)

Eskie brought up a point which I had also mentioned on a previous post.

Smoking my pipe at an outdoor cafe when a female amongst a group of people passing by made an unnessary remark. Next thing they sat at a table near the road and behind a bus stop. They'd rather breathe in exhaust fumes from buses then smoke from a measly pipe (if that). How brain dead can you get?

I am sure we all have our likes and dislikes but tolerance is so important in any situation.


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## Siggy (Jan 14, 2006)

Good one M8! Americans in Paris think they are still in the States and then get all huffy about how Parisians are "rude". That's funny that you took a bow. 

As for smoking and the fake cough (i've heard it before) I say if you are at an outside cafe, and smoking is permitted, then you have the right to smoke. Whether you want to acknowledge someone's complaining or not is up to you in that case.


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## BertieW (Jan 17, 2006)

This is what results from a lack of candor and open expression. I know people who have done the fake cough and it's insufferable to witness. All this passive-aggressive nonsense, the result of awkward, maladapted people whose social abilities have withered in the era of gated communities, armored isolation tanks (SUVs and the like), and nonstop media pap reinforcing boorish behavior.

********************************
"It's about time some publicly-spirited person told you where to get off. The trouble with you, Spode, is that just because you've succeeded in convincing a handful of half-wits to disfigure the London scene by going about in black shorts, you think you're someone."


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## mpcsb (Jan 1, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by BertieW_
> ...All this passive-aggressive nonsense, the result of awkward, maladapted people whose social abilities have withered in the era of gated communities, armored isolation tanks (SUVs and the like), and nonstop media pap reinforcing boorish behavior.


Hear, hear, well said.


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## Andy V. (Jan 16, 2004)

I wish that smokers and their defenders would stop assuming that those of us who don't like smoke are only concerned about our health. The health effects of being around second-hand smoke for a few minutes, especially outside, are negligible. Unfortunately however, cigarette smoke seems to stick to fabrics and hair better than other unpleasant odors, including car exhaust. I think I should be able to sit down for a few minutes to enjoy my coffee without smelling like cigarettes for the rest of the day.

Now that my city has a smoking ban, I am thrilled that I can go to a bar in the middle of winter and not have to dry-clean my coat afterwards.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

I don't smoke. However, I feel you are either in a smoking zone or you aren't. As long as you were legal to smoke, more than say three feet away from her face, and not blowing smoke right at her, let her fake cough 'til she rips her throat out. Just my opinion: you were far more polite than you were required to be.


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## guitone (Mar 20, 2005)

I also do not smoke (at least for the past 30 years), but I would never do the fake cough for anything, and I would not ask you to put out your cigarette or move when you are outside....I would probably not ask under any circumstance, but I won't say that one definitively. Whether this lady was polite or not I think it was your right to smoke, you were downwind, you were outside...some folks just need to put their stuff on others.


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## 16128 (Feb 8, 2005)

KenR said:


> Gabba, as much as I like a good cigar I'm not going to light up in an outdoor cafe. I don't smoke cigarettes but I would apply the same rule for them. Too many people would object. Period.


Whether someone is a smoker or not, I think it is ridiculous to object to a smoker outdoors.

I smoke, and I do not "smoke and walk", thus subjecting people behind me to a tailwind, or anything of of that nature. But it is not unreasonable to have a cup of coffee and a cigarette (or a pipe) at an outdoor spot, especially when one can't smoke indoors anywhere anymore.

Anyone who can't stand to sit six to eight feet away from a smoker in the great outdoors should opt to enclose himself in a bubble.


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## GT3 (Mar 29, 2006)

As long as one is not the source of toxic chemicals (as cigarette smoke is)that could could disturb others health (as would be in the case of second hand smoke), light up all you want. Diesel fumes are indeed very toxic, however, they are utterly unavoidable when outside. 

My point is that one may do as they please, smoke, drive fast (with no one around) etc. as long as one does not infringe on the health of others. In my opinion it is uncooth to smoke without asking non-smokers around you. 

I saw a pregnant woman in a tunnel walking towards the train station being subjected to the slipstream of a smoker holding her hand over her mouth! Why should anyone be subjected to this needless toxic enviornment if they do not wish to. 

I think this is a matter of consideration of others health. Asking before lighting up is indeed the conduct of a gentleman, as it portrays consideratoin.

Non-smokers don't really care (well most of them) about the health of smokers, however, they do care about the their own health.


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