# Fried coke and other signs of the culinary apocolypse



## Chuck Franke (Aug 8, 2003)

Yes, it is that time of year. As has been our birthday tradition we pick a day each October as Daddy-daughter day at the State Fair Of Texas and today was that day.

Some recipes are traditions to be revered and sampled even when on a strict diet. A corny dog is not a corny dog unless eaten in the shadow of Big Tex. Corn on the cob roasted so that 4-5 kernals are blackened is still a delight.

Funnel cakes, twister fries, candy apples and $6 cokes are all to be expected but each year someone has to test the limits of the art and science that is deep fat frying.

This year's entry? Fried Coke. 
How, pray tell, can one fry a liquid beverage?

Well subsection IIa: 1-3 of the the 'anything tastes good fried in fat' theorem says that in extreme cases you should dip the item in batter prior to frying. ...and thus we have seen the Frankenstinian birth of a culinary disaster that should never have been born. Fried Coke... drop globs of Coke syrup into dry batter mix, flip the lumps into simmering lard, put it in a cup once crispy and coat with coke and whipped cream.

It is with sadness that I must report the decline of the frydaddy empire. Reaching it's height in the funnel cake age, this dynasty is now in decline. Not since Arthur Fonzarelli jumped the shark in an attemp to trump the other networks has one upmanship gone so terribly awry.

Please, say no to fried coke. Speak out as one and demand an end to dangerous and ethically questionable fried experimentation.

On a brighter note, the slightly barbaric yet carnivorously satisfying experience that is the 2 pound slow smoked Turkey leg thrives and shows none of the warning signs that precede a decline.


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## medwards (Feb 6, 2005)

Fine dining, Big Tex style:

Beef & Beans Fire Bowl; Cajun Shrimp On A Stick;Candy Apple Turnover; Chocolate Covered Strawberries On-a-Stick; Cinnamon Praline Bananas Foster; Deep Fried Cosmopolitan; Donkey Tails;Down Home Banana Pudding Cheesecake; Fernie's Fried Chicken n' Waffle; Fernie's Fried Choco-rito; 
Fernie's Fried Mac 'n Cheese;Fried Avocadoes; fried Baked Potatoes; Fried Cinnamon Crispas; Fried Coke; Fried Pancake Sundae; Fried Praline Perfection;Hast Texas BBQ Nachos; Melon Monroe; S'mores; Texas Cajun Steak On-a-Stick; Texas Waffle; Texas Trash; and Wedgee's.


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## jcusey (Apr 19, 2003)

medwards said:


> Fernie's Fried Chicken n' Waffle


Don't knock the fried chicken and waffles. I know it sounds strange, but it's very good.


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

I remember a past L.A. county fair held at the City of Pomona Fairgrounds. We were attending as a class at my alma mater community college where I reenrolled to use up my G.I. bill. If you think an M.A. in archaeology is hopeless, try adding an A.A. in agricultural science. So we're walking in and I give a generous donation to the Salvation Army. My prof approves, and I explain by anecdote how they drove me to my new base after an airline bumped me, but not my seabag and secreted money from a flight. We were running the gauntlet of food booths when I heard it, ' Um Yummy, fill your karmic tummy' I recognised the voice as belonging to Anna Ray Beecher, an Ali McGraw 6' lookalike with cleavage. We dated at that same college, and I was madly in lust/love, until one fatefull day she took me to this vegan restaurant called 'Follow Your Heart' in the San Fernando Valley. I was halfway through, and half heartedly 'enjoying' a soyburger on 21 grain bread with a bannana shake when Anne said, " Well. I bet YOU'VE never been here before! Only a few truly enlightened spirits have discovered this place." I looked Anne squarely in the cleavage, er eyes and replied (Half thinking if at all) Well, now actually Annie, I stood at this very spot before anybody else here did in ANY past life. Anne looked at me wide eyed. "YOU DID!" And I realised my chances of bedding Anne were greatly improved.Then I utterly blew it. " Yea, this used to be Larry's Butcher Shop in the 1960s and my granddad would drop off yearling steers and lambs for butchering come spring. The earnest looking wannabe beat poet in the corner let out a low moan deeper than a buddhist group OM on Alan Watt's houseboat and vomited his granola and seaweed. The owner asked me, with all due sweetness to leave. And now, several years later I heard Anne across the mirage heat of the asphalt. She had joined the Hare Krishnas and achieved a waxlike translucent skin tone and euphoric, drooling from the mouth beautific smile. I smelled the really bad curry, tasted the bitter regret always distilled from even the most disastrous of old girlfriends and ran to the Budweiser booth. 64 ounces later I felt steadier in soul if not mind and feet. The temperance society, yes that one famous for Jack London's membership gave me a real look of approbation. I grabbed at least 4 turkey legs and corn on the cobs to restore my youthfull vigor. We were at the Dairy unit, my proff's specialty. He asked me with concern ( he was also a Vietnam M.A.S.H. medic) how many cows I saw in the pen. I looked and said FOUR! I see FOUR, Oh GOD, praise Jesus I see Four of Annes-----! " Right,Cows have FOUR stomachs! Class, remember that for the midterm" and he steered me for some coffee as I tossed the last turkey bone at a PETA member handing out leaflets.


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## Chuck Franke (Aug 8, 2003)

Kav.... You kill me, absolutely, positively I cherish and look forward to each and every Kavlovian anecdote.

Medwards - I revere your skills but you are slipping. You left off fried peanut butter and bananna sandwhiches along with the more pedestrian friend PBJ Sandwhich.


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## The Gabba Goul (Feb 11, 2005)

I tried a fried snickers bar once at the CA state fair a few years back...eh...it was okay...I must concur that not sence funnel cakes hit the mainstream have we seen any really worthwhile innovations come from the fry-o-lator set...


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## Will (Jun 15, 2004)

jcusey said:


> Don't knock the fried chicken and waffles. I know it sounds strange, but it's very good.


I had fried rabbit and waffles for dinner last night. It was great.


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## bwep (Apr 17, 2005)

CF

We will be heading to see Big Tex next week. Friends of ours from Mpls are coming in with their daughters and we will spend a day out there. Not a fan of the "fried" stuff or those disgustingly big turkey legs. Well, I do like the Fletcher's corny dogs (I consider that more normal than the Fried milky way) drenched in mustard. It could be worse. In the Twin Cities, cheese curds are food du jour at the state fair....


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## acidicboy (Feb 17, 2006)

if i was an investor, i'd invest on a frying oil factory there in the united states.


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