# do you have family members that really annoy you?



## gaseousclay (Nov 8, 2009)

I only ask because i've only recently begun to have a very strong aversion to my brother's son. He's 6 years old and while I do understand that kids will be kids I do feel that he has had a complete absence of proper parenting. I guess I should blame my brother and his wife for their son's behavior but I can't help but feel irritated by his actions nonetheless.

For example, every single time I talk to my brother on the phone his son is always in the background being loud and obnoxious. My brother tells him to be quiet but he continues screaming and talking over my brother. Lastnite I was using the Facetime feature on my iphone so my brother can see my new baby boy. As expected, his son was in the background with a pacifier in his mouth being an obnoxious, loud-mouthed little brat. To top it off, he was buck naked for some odd reason and my brother thought it was funny. Now, call me old fashioned but 6 year olds should not be using pacifiers and two, they should not be running around the house naked like they were born in a barn. It just felt very uncouth. I bite my tongue every time I call my brother but there are times when I just want to hang up on him or yell at him for being an enabler and allowing his boy to do as he pleases.

so what about you? do you have siblings or other relatives that rub you the wrong way? what do you do about it? :icon_headagainstwal


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## Chouan (Nov 11, 2009)

Yes, I do.


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## Pentheos (Jun 30, 2008)

On another website, I recently read about a wonderful way to deal with unruly children who have lassez-faire parents: tell them that Santa isn't real. Of course, this solves nothing, but can you imagine the feeling of satisfaction?


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## rsgordon (Dec 6, 2012)

Well.... I still run around naked every now and then, nothing wrong with that.

I also have come to the realization that I was meant to be family with many of my relatives but not friends. It was sad and tough for a while and then it didn't bother me anymore.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

I used to believe that I hated children. But very recently someone pointed out that this must be false because of how good I am with them and how much they like to be around me. I gave the matter some thought and it finally dawned on me that actually I hate certain parents. Those idiot breeders with the gormless grins fixed to their defeated faces as they peer ineffectually on at the destruction the vanity of their inept procreation wreaks. Bah! Weak parents are exactly what is wrong with the world today. Harumph!


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## Zakk (Aug 4, 2011)

Yes. I've gotten in lots of fights with a certain relative, until I decided years back to just avoid conversations with them at all costs. I have been happy ever since.

As for the six year old, I wouldn't take it too personally. I don't know what your relationship is like with your brother, but I find that trying to tell somebody else how to be a parent never ends well.


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

Yes, most of them - including my wife, her parents, her sister, her brother in law.


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## nateo (Feb 27, 2013)

My brother's oldest is just a little jerk. The middle one is fine, though, so it's either a) the middle one is fine despite his parents, or b) the older one is a jerk because of his parents. Either way, while a parent has the most influence over a child, they don't deserve 100% of the blame or credit if the child does poorly or well. Maybe like 85-90%.

But to answer your question, I just avoid them as much as I can. That means I see them maybe once a year or so.


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## gaseousclay (Nov 8, 2009)

Zakk said:


> As for the six year old, I wouldn't take it too personally. I don't know what your relationship is like with your brother, but I find that trying to tell somebody else how to be a parent never ends well.


I wouldn't presume to tell my brother how to be a parent, but from my point of view he's doing a really crappy job. they spoil him rotten and he has zero manners. I like 95% of the kids I meet, unfortunately, my nephew falls into that 5% category of kids that should be sent off to military school so they can be disciplined. At this point i'm glad I live far, far away from him and his wife, as I have no intention of visiting him anytime soon


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## blue suede shoes (Mar 22, 2010)

Earl of Ormonde said:


> Yes, most of them - including my wife, her parents, her sister, her brother in law.


Sounds strange to me. As an American who has spent some time in Sweden, I always thought Swedish women were perfect.


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## Langham (Nov 7, 2012)

nateo said:


> My brother's oldest is just a little jerk. The middle one is fine, though, so it's either a) the middle one is fine despite his parents, or b) the older one is a jerk because of his parents.


lol - but you don't know it isn't the other way round?

I tend to think that most children are born with their personality, which their parents may attempt, successfully or otherwise, to modify according to their own wisdom. Any charm, good manners, wit or intelligence that emerges should be accepted gratefully as an unexpected bonus.


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## Snow Hill Pond (Aug 10, 2011)

gaseousclay said:


> I only ask because i've only recently begun to have a very strong aversion to my brother's son. He's 6 years old and while I do understand that kids will be kids I do feel that he has had a complete absence of proper parenting. I guess I should blame my brother and his wife for their son's behavior but I can't help but feel irritated by his actions nonetheless. For example, every single time I talk to my brother on the phone his son is always in the background being loud and obnoxious. My brother tells him to be quiet but he continues screaming and talking over my brother. Lastnite I was using the Facetime feature on my iphone so my brother can see my new baby boy. As expected, his son was in the background with a pacifier in his mouth being an obnoxious, loud-mouthed little brat. To top it off, he was buck naked for some odd reason and my brother thought it was funny. Now, call me old fashioned but 6 year olds should not be using pacifiers and two, they should not be running around the house naked like they were born in a barn. It just felt very uncouth. I bite my tongue every time I call my brother but there are times when I just want to hang up on him or yell at him for being an enabler and allowing his boy to do as he pleases. so what about you? do you have siblings or other relatives that rub you the wrong way? what do you do about it? :icon_headagainstwal


My sister's 8 yo son (an only child) is a little piece of specialness. In his mother's eyes, he can do no wrong. Maybe he is perfect, but I don't see it and choose to stay away.


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## Snow Hill Pond (Aug 10, 2011)

Shaver said:


> Those idiot breeders with the gormless grins fixed to their defeated faces as they peer ineffectually on at the destruction the vanity of their inept procreation wreaks.


That is quite a sentence.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

Shaver said:


> I used to believe that I hated children. But very recently someone pointed out that this must be false because of how good I am with them and how much they like to be around me. I gave the matter some thought and it finally dawned on me that actually I hate certain parents. Those idiot breeders with the gormless grins fixed to their defeated faces as they peer ineffectually on at the destruction the vanity of their inept procreation wreaks. Bah! Weak parents are exactly what is wrong with the world today. Harumph!


.....a very heartfelt +1 and you stated it so very eloquently! :thumbs-up:


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## nateo (Feb 27, 2013)

Snow Hill Pond said:


> That is quite a sentence.


Indeed. Shaver does wear the "Harumph!" well, though.


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## CuffDaddy (Feb 26, 2009)

"do you have family members that really annoy you?"Is this a trick question?


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## Chouan (Nov 11, 2009)

Shaver said:


> Those idiot breeders with the gormless grins fixed to their defeated faces as they peer ineffectually on at the destruction the vanity of their inept procreation wreaks. Bah! Weak parents are exactly what is wrong with the world today. Harumph!


Very well put! The kind of parents who want to be their offspring's friend rather than their parent. Who can't make rules and boundaries, so that the sprog doesn't, indeed, can't know how to behave.


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## Snow Hill Pond (Aug 10, 2011)

nateo said:


> Indeed. Shaver does wear the "Harumph!" well, though.


Don't get me wrong. I'm in agreement with Shaver on this issue...especially when he goes the extra mile with sentences like that.


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

blue suede shoes said:


> some time in Sweden


There's your problem right there. Living here for 17 years is very different to being a guest worker.


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## Flairball (Dec 9, 2012)

People usually give me a look of horror when I tell them that I don't really like my mother all that much. She annoys the hell out of me. If she was just a neighbor on the block I'd never have anything to do with her. She lives one mile away, and I do my best to see her as little as possible, so that on the occasion I do see her it's brutality is minimized. I did come to her aid when she was recently hospitalized, but turned the care responsibilities over to my sister the next day.


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## Regillus (Mar 15, 2011)

Re Post #5: Oh Shaver; you made me go look up "gormless" again because I hadn't seen it in years.

Being the first in my family to get college degrees; I have encountered jealousy and resentment from one of my brothers. My mother was so proud of that she rubbed it in on the other siblings. Fortunately I live in Massachusetts and he lives in Florida so we don't see each other.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

It's rather surprising to note the absence of any references to this point, to the historically bad/challenging relationships with our respective "mothers-in-law?" Or should that read 'mutha's-in-law?' LOL :icon_scratch:


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## Snow Hill Pond (Aug 10, 2011)

eagle2250 said:


> It's rather surprising to note the absence of any references to this point, to the historically bad/challenging relationships with our respective "mothers-in-law?" LOL :icon_scratch:


FWIW, I thought my M-i-L was difficult until my wife casually mentioned that she thought MY MOTHER was difficult...


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

blue suede shoes said:


> Sounds strange to me. As an American who has spent some time in Sweden, I always thought Swedish women were perfect.


I thought so too, until I woke up with one.


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## DJH_of_Doom (Apr 3, 2013)

My sister-in-law. Quite frankly I would like her to take a long walk. He existance troubles me and she is vile.


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## phyrpowr (Aug 30, 2009)

Not any more. Aunt and uncle who denigrated anyone else's accomplishments, from the President down to the local spelling bee winner or the guy with the nice lawn down the street. An amazing amount of jealousy and resentment that came up in any conversation, you just didn't want to be around them after a few minutes.


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## smmrfld (May 22, 2007)

Recognizing that tomorrow is Yom HaShoah, or Holocaust Remembrance Day, there are undoubtedly many millions of survivors and descendants who would give anything to be with their lost relatives - annoying or not.


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## Hitch (Apr 25, 2012)

Well just this evening we added up brother- in-law's last decades worth of dealings with Grandpa and had no trouble finding that he has averaged a take slightly more than $10K annually. Eleven years ago Grandpa had almost twice his current income and owned his home free and clear, 3 years ago he was forced to mortgage the house.


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## Snow Hill Pond (Aug 10, 2011)

Hitch said:


> Well just this evening we added up brother- in-law's last decades worth of dealings with Grandpa and had no trouble finding that he has averaged a take slightly more than $10K annually. Eleven years ago Grandpa had almost twice his current income and owned his home free and clear, 3 years ago he was forced to mortgage the house.


None of my business, but there's got to be better things to do with your free time than quantifying how one family member is screwing another. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'...


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## nateo (Feb 27, 2013)

Hitch said:


> Well just this evening we added up brother- in-law's last decades worth of dealings with Grandpa and had no trouble finding that he has averaged a take slightly more than $10K annually. Eleven years ago Grandpa had almost twice his current income and owned his home free and clear, 3 years ago he was forced to mortgage the house.


If your grandpa signed over his assets to your bro-in-law under duress, coercion, or was incapable of making that decision, the contract is not legally binding. That's a really common scam on elderly people, and there are things you can do about it.

I had a first counsin (once removed) who pulled the same kind of thing on my grandpa. He was a lawyer, though, who was taking money out of the estate over the weekend to pay for drug deals, then replaced the money on Monday so no one noticed. When we found out about, he disappeared for about 6 years, but the cops eventually tracked him down and put him in jail.


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## Langham (Nov 7, 2012)

Snow Hill Pond said:


> None of my business, but there's got to be better things to do with your free time than quantifying how one family member is screwing another. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'...


If that _is_ what is happening, then quantifying it is often of supreme importance to the other family members.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

My Mother can be a bit annoying sometimes but I love her to death.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

nateo said:


> If your grandpa signed over his assets to your bro-in-law under duress, coercion, or was incapable of making that decision, the contract is not legally binding. That's a really common scam on elderly people, and there are things you can do about it.
> 
> I had a first counsin (once removed) who pulled the same kind of thing on my grandpa. *He was a lawyer, though, who was taking money out of the estate over the weekend to pay for drug deals, then replaced the money on Monday so no one noticed. *When we found out about, he disappeared for about 6 years, but the cops eventually tracked him down and put him in jail.


Surely he'd only need to do that once? As I understand it there are super-normal profits to be made from the supply of bulk quantities of premium grade narcotics - these funds, once obtained, could be used to bank-roll all future deals.


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## Snow Hill Pond (Aug 10, 2011)

Langham said:


> If that _is_ what is happening, then quantifying it is often of supreme importance to the other family members.


Exactly. That's what makes it so sad for all involved.


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## Chouan (Nov 11, 2009)

Shaver said:


> Surely he'd only need to do that once? As I understand it there are super-normal profits to be made from the supply of bulk quantities of premium grade narcotics - these funds, once obtained, could be used to bank-roll all future deals.


Quite; surely as an entrepreneur and a wealth-creator he should be applauded, not punished? Or is the punishment for not generating the kind of profits that are possible in that market? On the other hand, bankers who haven't done very well seem to be given large bonuses.


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## nateo (Feb 27, 2013)

Shaver - Well, he wasn't very good at it, hence why he eventually got caught. I suspect he was taking excessive "owner's draws" on his "retained equity". . .


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

nateo said:


> Shaver - Well, he wasn't very good at it, hence why he eventually got caught. I suspect he was taking excessive "owner's draws" on his "retained equity". . .


Ahh I see. Doesn't everybody know the old narcotic supplier's adage 'Don't get high on your own supply'? :icon_smile_wink:


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