# Cufflinks to a funeral?



## clemsontiger (Jun 9, 2007)

Wearing cufflinks to a funeral, a sign of great respect or drawing attention that isn't warranted?


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## Rossini (Oct 7, 2007)

Neither. You can wear them, of course, as long as they're subdued.


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## brokencycle (Jan 11, 2008)

Rossini said:


> Neither. You can wear them, of course, as long as they're subdued.


Agree.


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## &Son (Feb 18, 2008)

Black Onyx would seem appropriate.


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## Concordia (Sep 30, 2004)

Beats having cuffs that don't stay fastened.


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## cdavant (Aug 28, 2005)

Acceptable.


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## Joe Frances (Sep 1, 2004)

Cufflinks add an element of formality totally appropriate to the situation. Solid silver or gold is absolutely fine. Recently, I wore silver knots with a white shirt, dark tie and dark suit to to a wake. I do not believe subtle attractive cufflinks bring too much attention to themselves.


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## WhoKnows (May 29, 2007)

cdavant said:


> Acceptable.


I agree, +1


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## zarathustra (Aug 24, 2006)

Assuming the cufflinks are not peacock like, i think they are fine.


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## clemsontiger (Jun 9, 2007)

To question another element of funeral attire - is a black (churchill dott) bow appropriate?


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## TMMKC (Aug 2, 2007)

clemsontiger said:


> To question another element of funeral attire - is a black (churchill dott) bow appropriate?


I would say "yes" if you regularly wear bow ties (and many of the fellow mourners are used to seeing you in one). If not, wear a regular tie. In either case, the dots are appropriate IMO.


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## JayJay (Oct 8, 2007)

I agree. Keep it simple.


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## Cordovan (Feb 1, 2008)

I am at complete loss why people think it is flashy to be wearing cufflinks. French cuffs and cuff links (or single cuff shirts) are definitely appropriate to wear with a suit. I understand and don't necessarily argue with those averse to french cuffs without a suit/ jacket, but with a suit?!

As long as they are tasteful and subdued, they will never be inappropriate.

Cordovan


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## windsor (Dec 12, 2006)

Given the attire people wear to attend funerals these days these items, cufflinks and bow ties almost seems like hair splitting. Like asking (almost) if Bluchers are correct. Of course I guess we should not use the ordinary folks as the standard by which we determine what is or is not appropriate. I've been to four funerals in the last year and seen some really un-appropriate outfits, judging from what I read here and in Miss Manners.


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## damon54 (Dec 12, 2007)

I think I have only 1 suit that I would consider to be funeral appropriate. 
My wardrobe requires some research & work as to what is appropriate for such an occasion.


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## Cordovan (Feb 1, 2008)

windsor said:


> Given the attire people wear to attend funerals these days these items, cufflinks and bow ties almost seems like hair splitting. Like asking (almost) if Bluchers are correct.


I would not put the three of these in the same category. Bluchers are perhaps a more remote issue for others. But cufflinks are something everyone should and can have and wear.

I do wear bows, but would not necessarily (ie would not) wear them to a funeral. But, I have no problem with french cuffs at a funeral.

Cordovan


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

A Victorian custom was the wearing of mourning jewelry in somber colours and even incorporating locks of the deceased's hair. You can find such items on EBAY, including cufflinks. If anyone were to ocmment on cufflinks, just remind them the Amish use hooks and consider buttons vain.


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## minimal (Dec 10, 2004)

clemsontiger said:


> To question another element of funeral attire - is a black (churchill dott) bow appropriate?


I'm obviously in the minority here, but I'd say no.

Bow ties, even if you wear them often, tend to be perceived as either a sartorial mood-lightener or as a slight affectation, neither appropriate for this situation.

Black (knit) tie is the way to go, with a dark blue or black suit and white shirt.


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## SuitUP (Feb 8, 2008)

&Son said:


> Black Onyx would seem appropriate.


+1 My funeral outfit includes a pair of black onyx cufflinks.


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## damon54 (Dec 12, 2007)

Minimal,
I tend to agree with your sentiments as posted above.

I don't own many suits so it would be hard to pull the trigger on black for 
this somber purpose.

Sorry to get off the cufflinks, subject.


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

All this presumes we follow a prescribed ritual of mourning. Not everyone subscribes that somber, black, grey and white painting of the Pilgrims. A Catholic funeral calls for a purple tie for example. For myself, I would want my people to come dressed in their very finest and happy clothing. You can all wear your forum squares with the stripes pointing down, or up depending on your hopes for me.


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

I would not wear the bow, but I think a black tie can be a bit theatrical. Cufflinks, as long as they are subdued are OK. Remember, the funeral is about the departed and his/her family, not your chance to show off your duds.


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## damon54 (Dec 12, 2007)

Excellent point on the purpose of the service.


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## AlanC (Oct 28, 2003)

I personally don't do it, but if done discreetly I think it could be okay. Silk knots might be nice.


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## the etruscan (Mar 9, 2007)

It seems to me that the appropriate attire for a funeral is that which will most comfort/conform/work for those closest to the deceased. If the deceased's family will be wearing jeans, cowboy boots, and bolo ties and expecting the same, then that's appropriate. If somber suits are expected, then a somber suit is appropriate. And so on.


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## Rossini (Oct 7, 2007)

I'd also say no to the bow tie - too dressy or frivolous.

However, Kav is right of course in that - while I've never witnessed purple ties at any catholic funeral - you should take your lead from the family and the circumstances of the death and sometimes funerals are celebratory and it can be ok to dress a little more gaily.

Which brings to mind George Melly, of course.










As Kav says, it would perhaps be nice to go like that.


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## Bishop of Briggs (Sep 7, 2007)

Rossini said:


> I'd also say no to the bow tie - too dressy or frivolous.
> 
> However, Kav is right of course in that - while I've never witnessed purple ties at any catholic funeral - you should take your lead from the family and the circumstances of the death and sometimes funerals are celebratory and it can be ok to dress a little more gaily.
> 
> ...


Was the corpse decomposing and smelling through the cardboard coffin? The front pall bearer is holding his nose. Such is the price of environmentalism.


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## JerseyJohn (Oct 26, 2007)

It's probably not environmentalism - cardboard coffins are sometimes used for cremation.


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