# Wearing your dad's class ring?



## Ole Hickory (Jan 12, 2008)

My father recently passed away & my mother gave me his jewelry box. I am playing with the idea of wearing his class ring- from an old, stayed, private school. I prepped elsewhere & did not attend my father's school. I would only wear it in honor of him. Protocol? Thoughts?


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## wwilson (Jul 13, 2012)

My mother passed away in 1987 when I was 20, and I received a gold necklace that I had given her as a child. It has only left my neck for surgeries and x-rays. Granted, it is not a class ring signifying graduation, but even if it was, I feel that the honoring of a deceased parent far surpasses any etiquette or protocol.


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## orange fury (Dec 8, 2013)

Ole Hickory said:


> My father recently passed away & my mother gave me his jewelry box. I am playing with the idea of wearing his class ring- from an old, stayed, private school. I prepped elsewhere & did not attend my father's school. I would only wear it in honor of him. Protocol? Thoughts?


I wouldn't. I understand and can appreciate the thought behind the gesture, but it would be wearing something you didn't earn (I don't mean that to sound harsh). I've seen questions before from people who had a dad or grandfather who was a Mason who want to wear their relative's ring for the same reason, but we discourage it because, without the constant explanation of why you're wearing it, you're broadcasting to the rest of the world that you're something that you're not.My suggestion would be to wear it as a necklace, but if it were me, I would keep it in it's box and enjoy it without wearing it.


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## Dmontez (Dec 6, 2012)

orange fury said:


> I wouldn't. I understand and can appreciate the thought behind the gesture, but it would be wearing something you didn't earn (I don't mean that to sound harsh). I've seen questions before from people who had a dad or grandfather who was a Mason who want to wear their relative's ring for the same reason, but we discourage it because, without the constant explanation of why you're wearing it, you're broadcasting to the rest of the world that you're something that you're not.My suggestion would be to wear it as a necklace, but if it were me, I would keep it in it's box and enjoy it without wearing it.


OF, I disagree. With something like a masons ring I completely understand, because there are so many masons that it would be easy enough to run into someone who is a mason, and they notice another mason's ring, but a class ring from a prep school will not likely be noticed. I have never been in a conversation with someone then notice a class ring, and say "oh, what school is that from" I honestly believe that as long as you are not going to interviews with it on you will be fine.

my father passed when I was 15, he was a border patrol agent for 20+ years. I wish I had more things that he left that I could wear as a reminder, I don't think it would be smart to wear his gun belt, or carry his cuffs with me. I did get a sweet Jeep that he bought brand new in 94, but I try not to drive it so much. I drove it all throughout High School and a few years after. Now I am more interested in prolonging it's life than driving it every day. Maybe my son who is 3 months old will be able to drive it to school.


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## arkirshner (May 10, 2005)

In a way, wearing a ring is analogous to wearing school, club and regimental ties. Some organizations and their members and alums prefer non members refrain from wearing their tie while others sell them to all comers. 

I recommend you write your father's school and ask. Some schools have specific policy, (this is the Citadel's and is linked only as an example) while others seem not to. If the school has a policy I believe your father would want you to follow it.


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## smmrfld (May 22, 2007)

You don't need anyone's permission. Wear it in good health.


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## vpkozel (May 2, 2014)

arkirshner said:


> In a way, wearing a ring is analogous to wearing school, club and regimental ties. Some organizations and their members and alums prefer non members refrain from wearing their tie while others sell them to all comers.
> 
> I recommend you write your father's school and ask. Some schools have specific policy, (this is the Citadel's and is linked only as an example) while others seem not to. If the school has a policy I believe your father would want you to follow it.


That is good advice - and you might have picked about the most restrictive example..


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## Duvel (Mar 16, 2014)

Agree. And perhaps your wearing the ring signifies a certain pride in your father's alma mater. I see nothing wrong in that.



smmrfld said:


> You don't need anyone's permission. Wear it in good health.


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## Titus_A (Jun 23, 2010)

Ole Hickory said:


> My father recently passed away & my mother gave me his jewelry box. I am playing with the idea of wearing his class ring- from an old, stayed, private school. I prepped elsewhere & did not attend my father's school. I would only wear it in honor of him. Protocol? Thoughts?


Nope. This is not something you do. I would have worn my dad's high school ring when I graduated from the same high school (an old, stayed, private school), if it hadn't gotten lost while my mom had it while they were in college. But I never in a million years would have worn it if I had gone elsewhere.

Keep it, hold onto it, cherish it. But under the circumstances, don't wear it, at least not in public.

Edit: I commented initially without reading the rest of the responses. I think the people who sanction this are way off base. There's a special camaraderie, almost an esprit de corps, among the alumni of a lot of these old private schools. In certain communities just being a graduate can be an important networking asset in one's professional life. The emblems and paraphernalia of these institutions are _certainly _subject to being recognized by casual observers. And wearing them without being an alumnus is a form of misrepresentation about oneself, intended or not: it conveys the impression that the wearer is a poseur, even if that was not his intention.

My answer might be different if the ring were an unrecognizable emblem of a garden-variety public school or some white-flight suburban establishment founded within the last 50 years, if it were something technically proprietary but in practical effect merely sentimental. But my experience is that these old private schools have highly stable, highly recognizable rings.

Sure, you can always say "the devil may care," if you want to be a barbarian. But societies and cultures have rules, and one subjects oneself to them for the sake of preserving the benefits of a civilized culture. Again, I say, with something like this, keep it on your desk or dresser.


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## vpkozel (May 2, 2014)

Titus_A said:


> Nope. This is not something you do. I would have worn my dad's high school ring when I graduated from the same high school (an old, stayed, private school), if it hadn't gotten lost while my mom had it while they were in college. But I never in a million years would have worn it if I had gone elsewhere.
> 
> Keep it, hold onto it, cherish it. But under the circumstances, don't wear it, at least not in public.


That is exactly what I was thinking. I mean, would you wear your father's Purple Heart? Congressional Medal Of Honor? Once you reach the age old enough to have attained the item for yourself, you shouldn't wear it.

I never felt right even parking in the handicapped spot if I drove my dad somewhere, but dropped him off at the front of the building and generally only did so if I thought that he would be walking back to the car instead of me picking him back up at the door.


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## godan (Feb 10, 2010)

I think you should not wear it. My father was in a different military service from me and acquired many more medals. I inherited everything when he died, but I would not think of wearing his medals. I earned mine; they will do. Of course, military decorations are different, but the basic idea persists that one should only wear what he has earned.


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## smmrfld (May 22, 2007)

Titus_A said:


> Sure, you can always say "the devil may care," if you want to be a barbarian.


Haha..."barbarian"...drama much? I hardly think wearing his dad's ring will lead to the downfall of our civilized culture.


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## Duvel (Mar 16, 2014)

I don't see a class ring in the same category as a military medal. To me, it's like wearing a vintage sweatshirt for a college you might not have attended but that you support or respect. On the other hand, I know some people attach more meaning to these rings.


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## Dmontez (Dec 6, 2012)

Duvel said:


> I don't see a class ring in the same category as a military medal. To me, it's like wearing a vintage sweatshirt for a college you might not have attended but that you support or respect. On the other hand, I know some people attach more meaning to these rings.


Agreed, I see tons of people wearing University of Texas football jerseys, and hats, and sweatshirts, and only a very very small percentage of them would have ever attended the school.


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## wwilson (Jul 13, 2012)

If one were to see his/her alma mater's ring on a deceased alumni's son/daughter, would it be offensive or honorable?


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## Duvel (Mar 16, 2014)

I say honorable. I would see it as honoring both the deceased alum and his or her school.


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## Peak and Pine (Sep 12, 2007)

I wear a US collar pin from WWI in my lapel every so often. I wasn't in WWI. My grandfather was.

This from above...


> My answer might be different if the ring were an unrecognizable emblem of a garden-variety public school or some white-flight suburban establishment founded within the last 50 years


...is skin crawling.


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## bd79cc (Dec 20, 2006)

Ole Hickory said:


> My father recently passed away & my mother gave me his jewelry box. I am playing with the idea of wearing his class ring- from an old, stayed, private school. I prepped elsewhere & did not attend my father's school. I would only wear it in honor of him. Protocol? Thoughts?


Not a problem, and a very nice gesture. An old classmate of mine wore his late father's college ring - from a different school than we attended - all through our time in engineering school. After a while, and even at my remove, I felt his Dad's kind presence whenever I saw the ring.


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## Spin Evans (Feb 2, 2013)

If we're talking about _that _"old, stayed, private school," then I do not think you should not wear the ring in public, particularly in TN. It really would be comparable to wearing a Harvard tie.

This coming from a diehard sentimentalist.


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## Barnavelt (Jul 31, 2012)

Ole Hickory said:


> My father recently passed away & my mother gave me his jewelry box. I am playing with the idea of wearing his class ring- from an old, stayed, private school. I prepped elsewhere & did not attend my father's school. I would only wear it in honor of him. Protocol? Thoughts?


OP I am NOT the grammar police but I believe the proper word is "staid" private school, not "stayed".

I never attended prep school and all my universities have been public, so I don't have a "dog in this fight" as it were, but I would say wear at your own risk, at least from a professional standpoint. I have no idea what line you are in, but as another member said, in an interview even the hint of appropriating something you didn't earn or being untruthful could be enough to put the kibosh on your prospects. The same could be said for meeting clients, etc. If you tend to run in circles with alumni of such schools, maybe they would be more apt to notice signet rings and the like than would the general populace? Do you prep school guys look for / notice things like that? What about in social situations? Would you see a ring and walk up to the fellow, extend your hand and say "Class of 68! You?". If I was talking to someone at a party I would certainly notice a Penn State ring and comment on it.


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## tocqueville (Nov 15, 2009)

I think class rings are tacky....BUT, as a way to remember your father? That's a very different thing. Go for it.


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## Barnavelt (Jul 31, 2012)

I just wanted to add on to my long winded answer above. :rolleyes2: When I was writing about business interviews and the like, I was just trying to imagine a time when wearing such a ring could be a problem in that some old boy could take offense or something like that. In reality, as with many things tradly, the average person probably wouldn't notice, and if it makes you remember your father in a nice way then why not do so? More importantly, my condolences for your recent loss.


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## Dieu et les Dames (Jul 18, 2012)

Wear the ring if it makes you feel comfortable. Cherish the memories it holds, on your hand or in a drawer.


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## vpkozel (May 2, 2014)

Dmontez said:


> Agreed, I see tons of people wearing University of Texas football jerseys, and hats, and sweatshirts, and only a very very small percentage of them would have ever attended the school.


I don't even think that is remotely the same thing. Wearing your father's (or mother's) letterman's jacket would be the same I think, but not a t-shirt or jersey that the school sells to anyone and everyone.


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## Piqué (Apr 10, 2014)

Having attended one of "those" schools myself, I would strike up a conversation with someone I noticed wearing the ring. I would be a rather bit perturbed when I found out he did not attend. I think this is a very poor idea, although I understand and admire the sentiment behind it. If it were his sweatshirt or something else of the generally-available clothing variety, I would encourage you to go for it. A ring, however, is not something sold to passersby in a gift shop; it is closer to a diploma, frankly. The person who brought up the Mason analogy is spot on, IMO. In fact, I have my grandfather's Mason ring, but I would never think of wearing it, as I am not one.

If you really wish to have it on you, perhaps you could either put it on a chain around your neck (where it would not be visible) or have it melted into something uniquely yours that you can wear at all times. I would not be bothered by someone who wore a ring on a chain in honor of his grandfather - which I find to be rather different than wearing it on his finger as if it is his.


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## Dmontez (Dec 6, 2012)

vpkozel said:


> I don't even think that is remotely the same thing. Wearing your father's (or mother's) letterman's jacket would be the same I think, but not a t-shirt or jersey that the school sells to anyone and everyone.


It's kind of like comparing medals given by the military to class rings, isn't it?


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## vpkozel (May 2, 2014)

Dmontez said:


> It's kind of like comparing medals given by the military to class rings, isn't it?


No, you have to earn the ring, the medals, and the letterman's jacket. You just have to pay for the t-shirt.


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## Piqué (Apr 10, 2014)

vpkozel said:


> No, you have to earn the ring, the medals, and the letterman's jacket. You just have to pay for the t-shirt.


Exactly.


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## Dmontez (Dec 6, 2012)

vpkozel said:


> No, you have to earn the ring, the medals, and the letterman's jacket. You just have to pay for the t-shirt.


Couldnt find anything I considered a real letterman jacket, most seemed to be replicas made by Nike. I am positive though if I spent half an hour I could find one.

I quite often see people wearing t-shirts that say (name of school) Athletics. They are meant to look like they are practice tees given by the school to its athletes. Generally these people would have never even attended the same school. Is that not the same as a letterman? As I said above Nike sells replica lettermen jackets. you could even buy jackets that make it seem as though you are in a Nascar pit crew if you wanted.

Could we also say that wedding rings passed down in families should not be worn by anyone other than the original intended bride/groom since they were not the original recipient? The person who receives a passed down wedding ring did not _earn_ the love of the person who originally proposed therefore they should not wear it.


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## Spin Evans (Feb 2, 2013)

There's a difference between earning and possessing. I believe that the OP wants to know whether wearing his father's ring would falsely indicate his having _earned_ it, and whether this would be a breach of generally accepted social protocol.


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## Pentheos (Jun 30, 2008)

Such a disgusting amount of snobbery and elitism in this thread.

Wear the ring. Cherish your memories. If someone objects because you haven't "earned" the right, pity them, for their world is a dark, evil place.


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## drlivingston (Jun 21, 2012)

Pentheos said:


> Such a disgusting amount of snobbery and elitism in this thread.
> 
> Wear the ring. Cherish your memories. If someone objects because you haven't "earned" the right, pity them, for their world is a dark, evil place.


https://www.easyfreesmileys.com/skype-emoticons.html Amen, brother!!


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

Pentheos said:


> Such a disgusting amount of snobbery and elitism in this thread.
> 
> Wear the ring. Cherish your memories. If someone objects because you haven't "earned" the right, pity them, for their world is a dark, evil place.


Could you repeat that?

The whooshing sound of civilisation being flushed down the toilet drowned it out........... :rolleyes2:


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## Bjorn (May 2, 2010)

I would not wear it. I would not sign my papers Bjorn, M.D. either since I never attended medical school.


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## Peak and Pine (Sep 12, 2007)

vpkozel said:


> "....would you wear your father's Purple Heart?


No, nor would he himself, except on the rarest occasions. But a ring from a school not attended worn not to deceive, but to honor? Sure.

And here's one reason why. You _buy _your way into a spiffy school, not earn it. You are no better than the hundreds of thousands of kids with grade point averages as good as yours. You just had cash and connections. They didn't. Wearing a ring from a school not attended is no different than having a Ford medallion on a Chevy key ring; it signifies nothing, except what it means to you.


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## vpkozel (May 2, 2014)

Peak and Pine said:


> No, nor would he himself, except on the rarest occasions. But a ring from a school not attended worn not to deceive, but to honor? Sure.
> 
> And here's one reason why. You _buy _your way into a spiffy school, not earn it. You are no better than the hundreds of thousands of kids with grade point averages as good as yours. You just had cash and connections. They didn't. Wearing a ring from a school not attended is no different than having a Ford medallion on a Chevy key ring; it signifies nothing, except what it means to you.


When the person who earned something he earned chooses to wear that item has no bearing on the question.

The rest is simply a biased rant and an extremely bad false equivalent.


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## vpkozel (May 2, 2014)

Dmontez said:


> Couldnt find anything I considered a real letterman jacket, most seemed to be replicas made by Nike. I am positive though if I spent half an hour I could find one.
> 
> I quite often see people wearing t-shirts that say (name of school) Athletics. They are meant to look like they are practice tees given by the school to its athletes. Generally these people would have never even attended the same school. Is that not the same as a letterman? As I said above Nike sells replica lettermen jackets. you could even buy jackets that make it seem as though you are in a Nascar pit crew if you wanted.
> 
> Could we also say that wedding rings passed down in families should not be worn by anyone other than the original intended bride/groom since they were not the original recipient? The person who receives a passed down wedding ring did not _earn_ the love of the person who originally proposed therefore they should not wear it.


I am pretty sure that I can find all manner of items for sale, including and up to humans. That does not mean that I should be able to do with them as I please though.

A wedding ring is not anywhere close to the same example, as like a t-shirt, there are no requirements to owning one.


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## Peak and Pine (Sep 12, 2007)

vpkozel said:


> When the person who earned something he earned chooses to wear that item has no bearing on the question. The rest is simply a biased rant and an extremely bad false equivalent.


Your writing here is too murky for me to decipher. And there's no rant in anything to which you refer. And why do you choose to pounce on me when so many others have posted similar disgust at this snooty clap-trap?


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## Duvel (Mar 16, 2014)

Well said.



Peak and Pine said:


> No, nor would he himself, except on the rarest occasions. But a ring from a school not attended worn not to deceive, but to honor? Sure.
> 
> And here's one reason why. You _buy _your way into a spiffy school, not earn it. You are no better than the hundreds of thousands of kids with grade point averages as good as yours. You just had cash and connections. They didn't. Wearing a ring from a school not attended is no different than having a Ford medallion on a Chevy key ring; it signifies nothing, except what it means to you.


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## vpkozel (May 2, 2014)

Peak and Pine said:


> Your writing here is too murky for me to decipher.


Thanks. I took a lot of murky writing classes at the expensive school that I simply bought my way into and did nothing to earn my way through. Glad to know it was money well spent....



> And there's no rant in anything to which you refer. And why do you choose to pounce on me when so many others have posted similar disgust at this snooty clap-trap?


I think that I have responded to most of them.


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## Peak and Pine (Sep 12, 2007)

Listen, I don't wan t to argue with you. Your view on this is different from mine. All's good. You're not alone here. Nor am I.Concisely put, my view is that you earn your way thru school when you graduate, hopefully with high grades. But you don't earn your way into that school. Cash and connections do that. And class rings are equal opportunity bling; they do not signify achievement, just that you bought in. Now let's be friends. I'v e enough enemies.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

Alas, this thread distresses me, as a few other members have indicated. However not for it's impact on me personally, but rather the potential difficulties it predicts for my heirs.Indeed, I have a class ring that sits in the original presentation case, displayed with a host of other items in a curio cabinet that sits in the corner of our living room. Two of the walls in my study play host to the commendatory detritus documenting my passage through two careers, in which my adult years were invested. I've always assumed the kids/grand kids would have one hell of a garage sale when it came time for me to move on. Reading this thread leaves me wondering if the 'heartfelt memories' I thought I would be leaving, will in fact prove to be ongoing sources of heartache. Is it best to divest ourselves of all this memorabilia/sh*t before we shuffle off this mortal coil, rather than saddling our heirs with the angst of figuring out what to do with it?

Frankly, if the OP is comforted by wearing the ring, I say do it!


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## CMDC (Jan 31, 2009)

I normally don't get into these fights but I say wear the ring. Wearing the ring will give you a chance to think of your dad regularly--every time you look at it, which, given that you probably use your hand a lot, will be often. If someone--prospective employer, guy at a reception, etc.--judged me because of how I chose to honor my dad's memory, I'd frankly think less of him and probably wouldn't want him to be my boss.


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## Peak and Pine (Sep 12, 2007)

For Eagle:

I think the kids are gonna have a swell time with all those guns and Romney/Ryan buttons you'll be leaving behind. As well as knowing they had a dad/granddad who was not afraid to dust off the phrase mortal coil and bring it into the 21st century. And in case I've never mentioned it, and I don't think I have, I'm really liking the new(ish?) avatar.


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

Staid


As for the ring, go for it, honor your pappy.


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## Ole Hickory (Jan 12, 2008)

Thank you, one & all for your input. I should clarify that my use of "stayed" was intentional not a mere gaffe. The boys from El Cid take their ring quite seriously. I was once with a good friend at a large airport & an older British gentleman stiffly approached & asked him where he acquired his tie, my friend smiled & said "my grandfather" then offered his name. There was a more than a spark of recognition in the man's eyes as he grinned broadly, shook his hand, & said 'he earned it, wear it to his credit.' I later asked my buddy what the tie signified & he said "sass". I asked what on earth was "sass" was & he said "Special Air Service." That being said, I will not likely wear the ring, I do not wear my own hs ring. However, I still see men who graduated from my hs, in their 60's & 70's, who still wear "the ring".


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## drlivingston (Jun 21, 2012)

Ole Hickory said:


> I was once with a good friend at a large airport & an older British gentleman stiffly approached & asked him where he acquired his tie.


It's a freakin' tie... a folded piece of cloth. I would have told the guy that I bought it on clearance at Wal-Mart. I am a member of MENSA and we have emblematic ties. I own a couple but will not wear them because I hate having to explain what MENSA is. That being said, if I saw someone wearing one, you can rest assured that I would never approach the guy and ask to know his IQ.


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## Shaver (May 2, 2012)

drlivingston said:


> It's a freakin' tie... a folded piece of cloth. I would have told the guy that I bought it on clearance at Wal-Mart. I am a member of MENSA and we have emblematic ties. I own a couple but will not wear them because I hate having to explain what MENSA is. That being said, if I saw someone wearing one, you can rest assured that I would never approach the guy and ask to know his IQ.


It appals me just how low an IQ is considered acceptable for MENSA membership - a piffling 132.


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## Piqué (Apr 10, 2014)

Peak and Pine said:


> And here's one reason why. You _buy _your way into a spiffy school, not earn it. You are no better than the hundreds of thousands of kids with grade point averages as good as yours. You just had cash and connections. They didn't. Wearing a ring from a school not attended is no different than having a Ford medallion on a Chevy key ring; it signifies nothing, except what it means to you.


I don't know if you attended school at any point, but one doesn't get his class ring when he matriculates...


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## Peak and Pine (Sep 12, 2007)

^^^

I considered going to school, but decided I'd much rather run wild in the woods, High Wind in Jamaica style. Now, what would be your point precisely?


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## Piqué (Apr 10, 2014)

Peak and Pine said:


> ^^^
> 
> I considered going to school, but decided I'd much rather run wild in the woods, High Wind in Jamaica style. Now, what would be your point precisely?


My point, precisely, would be that your misguided assertion that "one buys his admission into a certain type of school, therefore he did nothing to earn his class ring" is ridiculous if one understands that the class ring is not received at the point of matriculation or tuition payment. Are you next going to tell me that one buys his way through his coursework as well?


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## drlivingston (Jun 21, 2012)

Piqué said:


> Are you next going to tell me that one buys his way through his coursework as well?


I have seen this very thing happen more than you care to know. Besides, down here in Alabama, you need not be wealthy to "earn" a degree. You just need to be proficient in the handling of a ball, round or oblong.


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## Dmontez (Dec 6, 2012)

drlivingston said:


> I have seen this very thing happen more than you care to know. Besides, down here in Alabama, you need not be wealthy to "earn" a degree. You just need to be proficient in the handling of a ball, round or oblong.


Isn't that why so many professional athletes end up broke within a few years of retirement?


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## Peak and Pine (Sep 12, 2007)

Piqué said:


> My point, precisely, would be that your misguided assertion that "one buys his admission into a certain type of school, therefore he did nothing to earn his class ring" is ridiculous if one understands that the class ring is not received at the point of matriculation or tuition payment.


Nor is it received as a result of academic achievement. I don't believe it's actually received period. I think it's bling you buy. I chose not to buy mine...oops, rather they didn't offer them in the deep, dark, scary woods in which I matriculated.

Anyhow, thank you for explaining your point. I didn't understand it initially. Now I do. You believe I said something I didn't say, imply or mean. That was your point.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

Peak and Pine said:


> For Eagle:
> 
> I think the kids are gonna have a swell time with all those guns and Romney/Ryan buttons you'll be leaving behind. As well as knowing they had a dad/granddad who was not afraid to dust off the phrase mortal coil and bring it into the 21st century. And in case I've never mentioned it, and I don't think I have, I'm really liking the new(ish?) avatar.


Glad to hear you like the avatar....now if I could just manage to get those tiny pics to magically appear within the context of my posts? But alas, my IQ appears not to be sufficient to permit such endeavors to be undertaken, successfully. LOL.


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## Bjorn (May 2, 2010)

Peak and Pine said:


> No, nor would he himself, except on the rarest occasions. But a ring from a school not attended worn not to deceive, but to honor? Sure.
> 
> And here's one reason why. You _buy _your way into a spiffy school, not earn it. You are no better than the hundreds of thousands of kids with grade point averages as good as yours. You just had cash and connections. They didn't. Wearing a ring from a school not attended is no different than having a Ford medallion on a Chevy key ring; it signifies nothing, except what it means to you.


You buy yourself into anything... Also, you may be no better than the other kids before you get into a good school, but you might very well be better when you exit. Which is when you are entitled to wear the ring.


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## JLibourel (Jun 13, 2004)

Most of what can be said about this topic has already been said by now. I am firmly in the "don't do it" camp. It would be somewhat akin wearing your father's Congressional Medal of Honor lapel badge. (There is a substantial difference in degree, but not in kind, I think.) However, my perspective may be skewed by the fact I don't like rings or male jewelry of any sort. Also, I think class rings in particular look like hell (most of them anyway), and finally I think wearing it around your neck as a sort of medallion just seems odd. But then I don't like necklaces or medallions on men either. (My, I seem to be awfully curmudgeonly today, don't I?)


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## Reuben (Aug 28, 2013)

Ya know, I went to a public high school and I've got exactly zero likelihood of ever serving in the military (too many screws, staples, stitches, and glitches in the system), but I do have a letterman's ring that I worked hard for and sacrificed quite a bit to earn over the past four years. If, sixty or seventy years down the line God willing, I pass on and my son or grandson chooses to wear the ring in memory or for comfort, I wouldn't be upset in the slightest even if he never played a down of football (or went to Tech).


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## wwilson (Jul 13, 2012)

Reuben said:


> Ya know, I went to a public high school and I've got exactly zero likelihood of ever serving in the military (too many screws, staples, stitches, and glitches in the system), but I do have a letterman's ring that I worked hard for and sacrificed quite a bit to earn over the past four years. If, sixty or seventy years down the line God willing, I pass on and my son or grandson chooses to wear the ring in memory or for comfort, I wouldn't be upset in the slightest even if he never played a down of football (or went to Tech).


Well stated...


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## JLibourel (Jun 13, 2004)

Well, if my stepson were to flaunt my Phi Beta Kappa key after I check out (a great deal sooner than "60 or 70 years down the line"), I'd come back from the grave to haunt him! Of course, flaunting a Phi Beta Kappa key, even one you have justly earned, has always struck me as simultaneously dorky and tacky!


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## Bradley.Kohr.II (Oct 12, 2012)

Personally, I don't like jewelry - the only piece I ever wear is my class ring - its not terribly comfortable, but it... I wouldn't wear one that wasn't yours. 

A friend of mine wore his grandfather's Annapolis ring, when he was younger - but he fully intentioned to attend the Academy as well - and so did. 

Perhaps wear it as a key fob? I understand the desire to carry it - I've carried my grandfather's sidearms at times, out of a similar feeling - but it would be an apparel item requiring regular explanation, which I wouldn't think would be appealing.


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## irish95 (Sep 27, 2011)

I believe the answer is simple--what would your father want you to do? For the record, I don't own a class ring from either of the 2 schools I attended. If I did, I would be immensely proud that my son would want to wear one of them if I passed.


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## arkirshner (May 10, 2005)

irish95 said:


> I believe the answer is simple--what would your father want you to do? For the record, I don't own a class ring from either of the 2 schools I attended. If I did, I would be immensely proud that my son would want to wear one of them if I passed.


That begs the question if his father would want him to do the "right" thing the question still is, What is the right thing? As Yoda would say, Not easy this one is.


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## Titus_A (Jun 23, 2010)

Dmontez said:


> Agreed, I see tons of people wearing University of Texas football jerseys, and hats, and sweatshirts, and only a very very small percentage of them would have ever attended the school.


Hey, apples, meet oranges. They don't sell class rings at Wal-Mart. To call this an analogy is an insult to the concept.


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## ruvort (Mar 11, 2014)

Titus_A said:


> Hey, apples, meet oranges. They don't sell class rings at Wal-Mart. To call this an analogy is an insult to the concept.


I'll just leave this here: https://www.walmart.com/tp/class-rings

Not trying to take any sides but thought it was interesting that Walmart does indeed do class rings (It most likely is just highschool ones though)...

Sent from my LG-VS980 using Tapatalk


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## orange fury (Dec 8, 2013)

ruvort said:


> I'll just leave this here: https://www.walmart.com/tp/class-rings
> 
> Not trying to take any sides but thought it was interesting that Walmart does indeed do class rings (It most likely is just highschool ones though)...
> 
> Sent from my LG-VS980 using Tapatalk


Ive only seen high school there. The two major players in class rings for universities that have an "official" ring are Balfour and Jostens. My class ring is a yellow gold Balfour, the only customization is the graduation year.


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## irish95 (Sep 27, 2011)

If I had a "such a ring" and my son wanted to wear it then it would be the right thing to do. Arkirshner--I see your point, but I have only 1 son and he is away at school, so I may be seeing this differently then others until he gets home at Thanksgiving.


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## Bleedblue (Aug 8, 2014)

I am stunned at the no responses. Honor your father however you feel appropriate. Should someone ask if you went to the institution, simply explain that it's your father's ring. I see 0 problem with this and would see it as a tribute to a man who clearly meant a lot to you. 

I have been fortunate enough to attend three private institutions in my life with a combined 600 years of history and I would never question your right to wear your fathers ring had he attended any of the three.


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## JLibourel (Jun 13, 2004)

"Stunned at the 'no' responses"? Last night I was at a party hosted by a prep school classmate of mine. Quite a few of the men were part of the "Preppy Nation," the senior man being a member of Harvard's Class of '50 (turns out he had known my wife's uncle there). I raised the topic of this thread during the dinner. The consensus was solidly and emphatically against the O.P.'s wearing his father's class ring.


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## Flairball (Dec 9, 2012)

JLibourel said:


> "Stunned at the 'no' responses"? Last night I was at a party hosted by a prep school classmate of mine. Quite a few of the men were part of the "Preppy Nation," the senior man being a member of Harvard's Class of '50 (turns out he had known my wife's uncle there). I raised the topic of this thread during the dinner. The consensus was solidly and emphatically against the O.P.'s wearing his father's class ring.


Not surprised in the least. Wear the ring, honor your father, and should someone make an issue of it just explain, and then blow them off.


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## ashcroft99 (Dec 12, 2008)

Bleedblue said:


> I am stunned at the no responses. Honor your father however you feel appropriate. Should someone ask if you went to the institution, simply explain that it's your father's ring. I see 0 problem with this and would see it as a tribute to a man who clearly meant a lot to you.
> 
> I have been fortunate enough to attend three private institutions in my life with a combined 600 years of history and I would never question your right to wear your fathers ring had he attended any of the three.


--I'm with you...I have been fortunate enough to have earned degrees from two universities with a combined 1,000 years of history and I, too, would never question the right of a son to wear his father's ring. In truth....I never put much stock in that sort of thing anyway, doubt I would notice, and not sure I would esteem someone's judgment who would make something of noticing. I live in a state in which military decorations can be displayed on license plates...my son drives one of my cars, which carries a combat decoration I earned that's high in order of precedence. I say, good for him! For the OP, wear your dad's ring!


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## Steve Smith (Jan 12, 2008)

godan said:


> I think you should not wear it. My father was in a different military service from me and acquired many more medals. I inherited everything when he died, but I would not think of wearing his medals. I earned mine; they will do. Of course, military decorations are different, but the basic idea persists that one should only wear what he has earned.


Apples and oranges. Military decorations are completely different. OTOH I have a stainless steel watch bracelet with a brass eagle, globe & anchor one one side and brass naval aviator wings on the other side. When I am gone I will leave it to one of my sons (not veterans) with instructions to wear it if they like.

People seem to get unnecessarily uptight about this on AAAC. If you see me wearing the Brooks Brothers version of your Royal Olde Queen's Cavary Guard tie, then that is just tough ****.


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## Captain America (Aug 28, 2012)

I can really appreciate the "go to hell" factor of telling the OP to just wear it, devil take the consequences. I wear ludicrous pants because it has that F-U effect, on me, at least internally.

But in the real world, people will automatically assume that you graduated from your father's school. This would end up being more of a cross to bear, a constant inconvenience, in terms of either (a) telling people, "no, I didn't go there, my father did, etc., etc." or (b) nothing being mentioned by others and some of the others thinking that you're striving to cast yourself in a better light in some way, and of course, thinking less of you for it.

Find another piece of your dad's jewelry without this impact. I've got my grandfather's ruby ring, and wore it for some time, before I realized I just don't like jewelry on me. I wear a watch and a scapular, and that's it.


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## smmrfld (May 22, 2007)

Captain America said:


> But in the real world, people will automatically assume that you graduated from your father's school. This would end up being more of a cross to bear, a constant inconvenience, in terms of either (a) telling people, "no, I didn't go there, my father did, etc., etc." or (b) nothing being mentioned by others and some of the others thinking that you're striving to cast yourself in a better light in some way, and of course, thinking less of you for it.


Assuming this is meant to be humorous. But on the off-chance that it isn't, what "real world" do you live in? "Cross to bear"..."constant inconvenience"..."striving to cast yourself in a better light in some way, and of course, thinking less of you for it." If this is the "real world" in which you circulate, you might want to hang with a different crowd.


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## Pentheos (Jun 30, 2008)

smmrfld said:


> Assuming this is meant to be humorous. But on the off-chance that it isn't, what "real world" do you live in? "Cross to bear"..."constant inconvenience"..."striving to cast yourself in a better light in some way, and of course, thinking less of you for it." If this is the "real world" in which you circulate, you might want to hang with a different crowd.


Thank you for pointing out how absurd his comment was. It saves me having to do it myself.


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## thegovteach (Dec 2, 2012)

Ole Hickory said:


> My father recently passed away & my mother gave me his jewelry box. I am playing with the idea of wearing his class ring- from an old, stayed, private school. I prepped elsewhere & did not attend my father's school. I would only wear it in honor of him. Protocol? Thoughts?


A family member left me his degree ring.....it's a little different circumstance...
Same university as mine. 
Same degree as mine. ( B.A. History)
Only the year is different....25 years. 
It is so much nicer than the rings that were offered when I graduated. 
And yes, I wear it all the time...


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## Captain America (Aug 28, 2012)

The point really here is that many would assume that this is pretentious or an attempt to pull one over on you. I DO run into people who would assume that a man wearing a class ring DID go to school at the school where such rings are available. Don't you think?

All the rest is lotsa explanation. Rings of this sort are meant to be symbols and read on their own behalf.

So, yes indeed, the real world that you and I circulate does contain in it people who would think you went to the school denoted by the ring. AND not everyone will bother to ask you if you REALLY DID or not. They'll just assume you did, and then be confused . . . unless you went into the whole saga. . . about why you'd be wearing a different class ring from the one they feel you should be wearing/representing. That's all.

It's a touching idea, but not with this kind of item.


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## Captain America (Aug 28, 2012)

(re: above Phi Beta Kappa mention)


Yeah this is true. Mine's in the box. Given some of the responses here, I'm thinking about buying myself a nice maroon Harvard University tie!


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## MattS2 (2 h ago)

Personally, I think it is fine to do whatever you want to do. If you say that you are wearing your dead father's ring and you wear it to feel close to him, anyone who has a problem with it has never experience true loss and has no right saying anything about it. Graduating from any university is not as important as losing a parent. This is coming from someone who lost their father during college and cared less about graduating from their university than they did about losing their father. To those who think it is wrong, get over yourselves.


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## MattS2 (2 h ago)

To the people here comparing a class ring to the medal of honor, you are delusional.


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