# Post photos of how a 40 year old man should dress



## poorboy (Feb 23, 2012)

My female friend told me again that suits make me look old, but I'm 41! How am I supposed to dress? What do you think a 40 year old man should be wearing?


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## Virginia-Style (Oct 21, 2010)

well on this forum i think you know the answer. im 39 and wear suits and sport coats by choice to work. i think i look professional. maybe some brighter colored ties and pocket squares will help? better yet ask her - you might find she has no clue what she is talking about...


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## blairrob (Oct 30, 2010)

Virginia-Style said:


> well on this forum i think you know the answer. im 39 and wear suits and sport coats by choice to work. i think i look professional. maybe some brighter colored ties and pocket squares will help? better yet ask her - you might find she has no clue what she is talking about...


So true! Particularly in Vancouver, the most avant garde of Canada's cities, the relative conservatism in attire generally espoused here might be considered old manish. Few people give a rat's rump about half, full, or no canvass suits and that includes many of the partners in our lives. Each of us needs to determine how much, if any, the influences of others, including spouses, co-workers, current trends, geographic location, and professional dictates, should affect our dress. It's different for all of us and in the end should be done in the way we are most happy over the long term.


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## poorboy (Feb 23, 2012)

I'd say Montreal and the other large Francophone cities are the most fashionable in Canada. Vancouverites quite often run around in workout clothing.


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## johnpark11 (Oct 19, 2009)

I've been wearing suits daily for 10 years and I'm 35...I think the key is to wear suits that fit you well. Won't find me in a pleat either. I work in an industry where most wear suits; i receive compliments almost daily from mostly women. I found in this day of sloppy dressing people, women appreciate someone who cares about their appearance. All but one it seems...


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## blairrob (Oct 30, 2010)

poorboy said:


> I'd say Montreal and the other large Francophone cities are the most fashionable in Canada. Vancouverites quite often run around in workout clothing.


 Sorry, I meant to say Anglophone cities but forgot; I will however hold to that opinion, workout clothes or not.


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## phyrpowr (Aug 30, 2009)

poorboy said:


> My female friend told me again that suits make me look old, but I'm 41! How am I supposed to dress? What do you think a 40 year old man should be wearing?


Wouldn't make any difference what I think, or members of this forum. What's important is what the cool kids on E!, or MTV, or TMZ or what the hell ever think. They will instruct your female friend on what needs to be worn by persons appearing with them.


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## Col. Mustard (Mar 16, 2008)

This is not the first time this has come up. And I think it's a legitimate issue.

Message boards like the one here at Ask Andy spend a lot of time focused on the esoterica of tailored clothing, a mode of dress that had its heydey 50 years ago. This is not to say that this kind of dressing is completely unappealing in a modern context, but that, to the plebs, it carries the baggage of maturity and old fashioned-ness.

The key then, in my opinion, is to execute the more objective, positive virtues of tailored clothing so well that the presentation trumps the baggage.

Or to put it another way, unless you're already intrinsically attractive, *you can't half-ass it. *

That jacket you're wearing? It_ has _to flatter your build. That tie? There should be almost _no question_ as to whether it works. The combination of colors and textures? You _must_ have the right panache. You have to do your best to create something that is damn near objectively beautiful.

What this means is that you can't fall back completely on the rote traditions of tailored clothing. You can't wear a blazer and flannels just because it's a blazer and flannels; the blazer has to look right and the flannels have to look right. Again, you can't half ass it. You may still dress like "an old man," but you'll look like the most appealing, vibrant, dashing, fit old man the world has ever seen. And that's a GAZILLION times better than the douche in True Religion jeans.

So pictures:

This is an igent known as Phat Guido. He is about your age. Although I don't agree with all his choices, I'm willing to say that he dresses better than both of us put together, probably because he has the resources to pull it off. I remember seeing this guy in his _polo shirt/posing in front of a Ferarri_ days. From there, he was able to develop a style that was pretty damned impressive. Right now, as you can see on his blog "Most Exerent", he wears mostly casual clothing. But back in the day, he was one natty middle-aged Chinese guy living in Australia.








Does he look like an old man? F*** no. Note the fit, the combination choices, the tweaks of personal style. Again, you may not agree with everything he's doing here, but he makes it fresh and he makes it his own.

Let's get a little wilder now. How about Spoopoker?

A little bit younger, maybe. (30s?) But not beyond a 41 year old. Note the way his clothes fit -- well-tailored, athletic, and with very few compromises.






















Old mannish? Sure. But_ the most freaking dapper old man you've ever seen_. Again, I personally wouldn't go down every road I see here, but even your female friend would have to appreciate it and see it for more than old man style.

What do these guys have in common:

1. Non-Department store choices. Or if they did buy from a department store, they're packaging it in a way where it looks like they didn't.

2. Personal quirks. Unbuttoned buttondown collar. Lapel flower. Beaded bracelet. (All of these are taken now (and a couple are pretty awful anyway) -- you'll have to find your own.)

3. Occasional Risks. I.e., risks that are outside the Flusser/igent dogma. Brown on orange? Let's give it a shot.

4. Well-fitting clothes. No such thing as "close enough." They know what well-fitting means, and are able to articulate it to their tailors in a way that the tailors can understand and give them what they want.


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## MikeDT (Aug 22, 2009)

This is what this 40 something usually wears...


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## nlieb (Mar 20, 2012)

Col. Mustard said:


> This is not the first time this has come up. And I think it's a legitimate issue.
> 
> Message boards like the one here at Ask Andy spend a lot of time focused on the esoterica of tailored clothing, a mode of dress that had its heydey 50 years ago. This is not to say that this kind of dressing is completely unappealing in a modern context, but that, to the plebs, it carries the baggage of maturity and old fashioned-ness.
> 
> ...


This

Sent from my DROID2 GLOBAL using Tapatalk 2


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

I am surprised that no one has questioned the circumstances that resulted in the OP's friend's comment. If you took her to a sports bar or to an actual athletic event wearing a three piece suit...well that's probably not the best costuming choice to be made. Hell, we all know folks that seem to wear or claim to wear their suits 24/7. Well folks, that's just out of balance. If the OP falls into said category, his friends comments may be well intended and perhaps, on point! Regardless, consider this; we should dress to impress...ourselves first and others at some point beyond that!


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## poorboy (Feb 23, 2012)

These days, I wear a suit about once a month. Usually I try and meet my lady friend for dinner on those days as I'm already in the city center. She's 10 years younger than me, and seems to like the more hip GQ casual look, but even those guys are wearing suits (that are usually too tight and short).


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

poorboy said:


> My female friend told me again that suits make me look old, but I'm 41! How am I supposed to dress? What do you think a 40 year old man should be wearing?


Post a photo of yourself and let us tell you if you look old or not!!


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## AMProfessor (Sep 9, 2011)

Col. Mustard nails it. I also like to view the SF thread WAYWN Casual Style. Find some people with looks you like (over there lately I'm liking the looks of NOBD and IST66 and Kappelan) and follow them, many have links to tumblr sites too, like this one: https://torontomanblog.com/

Funny thing about these forums. When I first started lurking here about 2 years ago I read everything, and began to learn, coming from a perspective that I needed to start dressing better and I didn't know where to start. But as my knowledge began to grow, I also became more discerning about the advice dolled out here and elsewhere. What I've learned is you can get some really, really bad advice and wind up dressing like a real tool (i.e., the clothes are wearing you) because these places (not just AAAC, but SF and others) end up being an echo chamber, where people gain knowledge and then espouse knowledge not based on their real world experiences, but based on what they've learned from other i-gents.

TL; DR: find guys who look your age and check out their postings.


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## mrkleen (Sep 21, 2007)

There is probably no one less qualified to speak about mens fashion than a young woman. They have no clue what they are talking about, and would often prefer a slovenly dressed dolt - to a proper gentleman. UNTIL, it comes time to settle down - and then they want a man who knows how to handle his business.

There is a time and place for everything from jeans and a sweatshirt - to a 3 piece suit. Making appropriate choices is a big part of the equation, but you should always project your own style. I have no problem being in the best dressed in the room category - I just dont want to overdo it 

I say dress how you feel and dont worry about it so much.


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## AMProfessor (Sep 9, 2011)

mrkleen said:


> There is probably no one less qualified to speak about mens fashion than a young woman. They have no clue what they are talking about, and would often prefer a slovenly dressed dolt - to a proper gentleman. UNTIL, it comes time to settle down - and then they want a man who knows how to handle his business.


Well, that's all fine and good. I can hear the conversation now: "You, pretty young lady, have NO idea how a man is supposed to dress. The men I post pictures with on the internet tell me I look terrific! Harumph!"  You might win the argument on moral/academic/factual grounds, but the fact is, the young lady in question doesn't find your look appealing. Schmucks like me, on the other hand, have at least more than just a passing interest in actually being appealing to the other sex. It helps improve the ability to procreate, contributes to the reproductive success of my gene pool, and brings me general happiness. Plus, one might think there is actually value in said young lady's aesthetic tastes. You may correct her ignorance on fused vs fully canvassed, may mock her inability to define a goodyear welt, but, she knows what she likes. In sum: there is value in listening the ladies.


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## Youthful Repp-robate (Sep 26, 2011)

Well, they are young women whose opinions on clothing I trust -- but they have a very menswear-influenced style anyway, and I take their advice with a grain of salt. I think the problem is taking advice from people who don't wear any kind of traditional menswear. They have no idea what they're talking about. That doesn't necessarily mean that everything they say is garbage, it means that they get worse and worse as they go towards specifics. They're broken clocks, but sometimes they're right more than twice a day.


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## mrkleen (Sep 21, 2007)

AMProfessor said:


> Well, that's all fine and good. I can hear the conversation now: "You, pretty young lady, have NO idea how a man is supposed to dress. The men I post pictures with on the internet tell me I look terrific! Harumph!"  You might win the argument on moral/academic/factual grounds, but the fact is, the young lady in question doesn't find your look appealing. Schmucks like me, on the other hand, have at least more than just a passing interest in actually being appealing to the other sex. It helps improve the ability to procreate, contributes to the reproductive success of my gene pool, and brings me general happiness. Plus, one might think there is actually value in said young lady's aesthetic tastes. You may correct her ignorance on fused vs fully canvassed, may mock her inability to define a goodyear welt, but, she knows what she likes. In sum: there is value in listening the ladies.


Yeah, I am sure my wife agrees with you


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## Bjorn (May 2, 2010)

AMProfessor said:


> Well, that's all fine and good. I can hear the conversation now: "You, pretty young lady, have NO idea how a man is supposed to dress. The men I post pictures with on the internet tell me I look terrific! Harumph!"  You might win the argument on moral/academic/factual grounds, but the fact is, the young lady in question doesn't find your look appealing. Schmucks like me, on the other hand, have at least more than just a passing interest in actually being appealing to the other sex. It helps improve the ability to procreate, contributes to the reproductive success of my gene pool, and brings me general happiness. Plus, one might think there is actually value in said young lady's aesthetic tastes. You may correct her ignorance on fused vs fully canvassed, may mock her inability to define a goodyear welt, but, she knows what she likes. In sum: there is value in listening the ladies.


There's something to be said for this point of view. Resistance is futile.

Also, women are very attuned to liking successful looking, sexy, slim, assertive guys. If you like your dress to really work, it's not a bad idea to ask the right woman.

Also, they have internal color wheels.


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## mrkleen (Sep 21, 2007)

Bjorn said:


> There's something to be said for this point of view. Resistance is futile.
> 
> Also, women are very attuned to liking successful looking, sexy, slim, assertive guys. If you like your dress to really work, it's not a bad idea to *ask the right woman.*
> 
> Also, they have internal color wheels.


THIS was the point of my post....which AM clearly missed.

If you are trying to attract the average 20 something college girl - then yes you should be wearing slim jeans, sweatshirts, t-shirts, neon sneakers, high water pants or whatever GQ is pushing this month. But if you are a man in his 40s, is looking to attract an age appropriate, cultured professional woman - she will NOT tell you that a suit makes you look too old for your age.

A woman in this category is also going to look for a man who is confident (hint - well tailored clothing requires a level of confidence to pull off), successful and a good potential partner.

So it comes down to what the OP is looking for. If he is looking to date children, then yes - a suit is overkill much of the time. But if he looking to meet a professional mature woman - dressing like an adult is a good start.


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## coase (Apr 29, 2010)

If I may make a different observation. Sometimes it's not the literal meaning of the words that matters but the underlying subtext. Either you're not this girl's type or she's trying to signal that she wants you to give off a different vibe. But I wouldn't trust her literal claims. A self confident person who dresses well can seem both young and experienced if he is comfortable in his clothes and how he projects himself. I've often seen fairly elegant older men excite younger girls and also make jeans/shirt clad young'uns green with jealousy and uncertain of their masculinity.


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## Bjorn (May 2, 2010)

mrkleen said:


> THIS was the point of my post....which AM clearly missed.
> 
> If you are trying to attract the average 20 something college girl - then yes you should be wearing slim jeans, sweatshirts, t-shirts, neon sneakers, high water pants or whatever GQ is pushing this month. But if you are a man in his 40s, is looking to attract an age appropriate, cultured professional woman - she will NOT tell you that a suit makes you look too old for your age.
> 
> ...


Also, I would not want to end up with a woman who wants me to dress like a 17yo backpacker. In that, I have been fortunate, though she is resisting my idea of a tweed suit (probably not age appropriate 

Thus far, me seeking advice from my significant other has worked to my advantage. But it is a learning process, to find out where I am wrong and she is right and vice versa. Generally, she trumps me on color and pattern combination. Every time..


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## Rick Blaine (Aug 26, 2012)

It's kind of an everyday struggle for some of us trying to find the right balance. I am 30 and trying to look my age at work, in a bar or hanging out. My first lesson has been - Clothes have to be matched to the company and occasion.

Col. Mustard made a fantastic post with pictures. It can't be half-assed and doing it to perfection takes skill, experience and resources (time and money). No arguments there.

HOWEVER... that's just a small part of it. Body type/ fitness are huge aspects of looking young(er). I went up/down 70 lbs last year. I look 5years younger in my pics from 11months ago.

Here is a great post from a SF user that sums my thoughts.

https://www.styleforum.net/t/204289...d-man-and-a-sharp-gq-esquire-guy#post_3698414


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## AMProfessor (Sep 9, 2011)

mrkleen said:


> There is probably no one less qualified to speak about mens fashion than a young woman. They have no clue what they are talking about, and would often prefer a slovenly dressed dolt - to a proper gentleman.


I'm sorry, I'm looking for the nuance, or the mention of the _right_ woman in that original statement. Look as hard as I can, I don't see it. I see: no one is less qualified to speak about mens fashion than a young woman.

Now I'm not sure where your cut off is for young, but I am in my 40s and work with some stylish, professional, well educated women in their mid 20s. To me, they are "young women". And they know what looks good.

I suppose we are both engaging in hyperbole here, but its fun, so I'll continue. My larger point is that there is a tendency among some here to trust the advice of a largely anonymous, self-selected, clothes fanatic guys on the internet more than they trust the judgment of living, breathing people they see every day, see what they look like in the context of their surroundings, and see how the clothes look on them. There is a lot of good advice to be had, but there is a lot of out-of-context silliness on these forums too (I'm reminded of a thread a while back where the OP was insistent that a proper gentleman never takes his jacket off around a lady). And so when I see these phrases like "proper gentlemen" it invokes my stereotype of the internet-dressed I-gent, who has learned a long list of rules and is quite strident about sticking to and not breaking said rules.

So you spend all this time learning these rules and feel compelled to follow them. You turn out for your date dressed to the nines and hitting every single rule properly, but your date/wife/SO just groans and wishes you would have worn your smart looking dark jeans and a crisp white oxford out to grab drinks with friends.


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## mrkleen (Sep 21, 2007)

AMProfessor said:


> So you spend all this time learning these rules and feel compelled to follow them. You turn out for your date dressed to the nines and hitting every single rule properly, but your date/wife/SO just groans and wishes you would have worn your smart looking dark jeans and a crisp white oxford out to grab drinks with friends.


Again, missing the point.

No one is suggesting that because you know how to properly buy and wear a suit - that you are then required to wear said suit, regardless of the formality of the occasion. No one is suggesting that you try and out dress your date or the company you are with. Knowing what to wear for what occasion is as important as understanding the "rules" you describe.

If your goal is to dress to the lowest common denominator (i.e. what *most* 20 somethings think is fashionable), then what are you doing on a site like AAAC?

I am all for dressing appropriately. But I also know for a fact that over the course of my life in Boston (which has more colleges and college students than any city in the world), I have had young women I was not interested in tell me I am overdressed early in the night - only to get the phone number of a woman I WAS interesting in later in the night. Same night, same outfit.

I dress to be appropriate for the situation, the company I will be with, the venue we are attending - but most of all for me. What some random clueless woman (or man for that matter) thinks is of no importance.


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## AMProfessor (Sep 9, 2011)

OK, I'll agree with several of your points. Its probably less that we're on a different side of the argument, its that we are emphasizing different things. Here are the differences:

1. You dismissed the listening to the opinion of "young women" out of hand. I found that preposterous. But to you, young woman = 19 year old sorority girl drinking grain punch out of a plastic cup at a fraternity party. I agree we can dismiss her, or Snookie, or whoever. But to me, young woman also = 27 year old MBA working for McKinsey bringing in 100K and is smoking hot. I value her opinion (hypothetically only of course.....I mostly value the opinion of my 40 y.o. wife, who also is, IMO, smoking hot).

2. I fully and 100% agree on the importance of knowing what to wear for the occasion.

3. I believe that one result of immersion in these forums can be a tendency to get *worse* at point #2, not better, as ones interest in clothes grows. I know because I've been the victim of this (as when the wife says...."Honey, the party invitation said it is beach themed.....can you skip the sports coat this time?).


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## PreppyBoy (Jan 1, 2005)

poorboy said:


> My female friend told me again that suits make me look old, but I'm 41! How am I supposed to dress? What do you think a 40 year old man should be wearing?


Hi.

Have it ever crossed your mind that may not look your age?

The reason I mention this is due to looking 10 years younger than my age (32). So I tend to attract girls ranging from 17 - 22 pending on my attire.


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## poorboy (Feb 23, 2012)

I could definately pass as being 10 years younger. How I normally dress can be seen on page 867 of waywt.https://askandyaboutclothes.com/community/showthread.php?62656-What-Are-You-Wearing-Today/page867I don't wear suits to the park or bbq's and dress appropriate for the occasion.


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## Jake Genezen (May 27, 2010)

poorboy said:


> How I normally dress can be seen on page 867 of waywt


... and to my eyes what you are wearing looks fine! Forget looking like a 40 year-old -- it's just a matter of looking like an adult, which you successfully do!


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## arkirshner (May 10, 2005)

poorboy said:


> I could definately pass as being 10 years younger. How I normally dress can be seen on page 867 of waywt.https://askandyaboutclothes.com/community/showthread.php?62656-What-Are-You-Wearing-Today/page867I don't wear suits to the park or bbq's and dress appropriate for the occasion.


I find your business dress to be solemn, serious, and significant, in a good way, that is to say you look like a man one could trust to take care of significant financial, medical or legal affairs. I take what she means by dressing old as her either equating age with seriousness or in some sense thinking that a man who presents himself as serious for purpose of business is not so capable at fun. I suggest you take a look at Paul Stuart for ideas of ensembles , suits and/ or sportcoats, that, when worn for leisure, are more lively than serious business wear. https://www.paulstuart.com/


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

PreppyBoy said:


> Hi.
> 
> Have it ever crossed your mind that may not look your age?
> 
> The reason I mention this is due to looking 10 years younger than my age (32). So I tend to attract girls ranging from 17 - 22 pending on my attire.


How does one guy look his age?


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

At 40, you shouldn't be dressing so you end up looking 60 nor so that you end up looking 15.


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## firedancer (Jan 11, 2011)

Robert graham Shirts and True religion jeans.


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## StylinLa (Feb 15, 2009)

I'm kinda with Colonel Mustard here.I live and work in LA. Work has become a very informal atmosphere here. I often dress in a manner that would appall many of the mainstays here. (Diesel jeans, AE Black Mactavish shoes, black silk shirt... I can hear Balfour retching). 

But I also often swim against the current and dress in a very traditional manner espoused by many here. Now granted, I am a older gent in a youth oriented environment. But I am confident in saying that women (and men) do take note of someone well dressed and do "get it." While I often get hassled for dressing nicely, it IS duly noted, and makes an impression. There is a resistance to someone swimming upstream. Personally I think a lot of men are lazy or cheap.

I believe that with women and men, there is underlying pressure to "fit in" with whatever the current "norms" are perceived to be. The point is to set your own style and wear it with confidence...even if it make Balfour retch.


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## arkirshner (May 10, 2005)

StylinLa;13I'm 31320 said:


> kinda with Colonel Mustard here.I live and work in LA. Work has become a very informal atmosphere here. I often dress in a manner that would appall many of the mainstays here. (Diesel jeans, AE Black Mactavish shoes, black silk shirt... I can hear Balfour retching). .


Appalled,no, just dismissive.



StylinLa;13I'm 31320 said:


> I believe that with women and men, there is underlying pressure to "fit in" with whatever the current "norms" are perceived to be. The point is to set your own style and wear it with confidence...even if it make Balfour retch.


"Set your own style and wear it with confidence" is the credo of the NBA player.


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## StylinLa (Feb 15, 2009)

Call me Kobe...


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## Grayson (Feb 29, 2008)

Open any Esquire magazine and you'll find it overflowing with 40-something men in all states of dressed up/down. I would offer among celebrities your girlfriend would have a hard time thinking these three look like old fogeys...


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Earl of Ormonde said:


> At 40, you shouldn't be dressing so you end up looking 60 nor so that you end up looking 15.


I like to dress older than what I'm really supposed to look like.


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## PreppyBoy (Jan 1, 2005)

Howard said:


> How does one guy look his age?


If a man's face does not match the style of clothing he is sporting, people will comment on his attire. Society always judges a person's age from a facial standpoint.

Some men with baby faces tend to grow a beard to increase their age if, they do not mind sporting a beard. If that is not your cup of tea, there is really nothing you can do for how the face age is based on genetics. Matters will be worse if you live a stress free life.


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## Apatheticviews (Mar 21, 2010)

PreppyBoy said:


> Hi.
> 
> Have it ever crossed your mind that may not look your age?
> 
> The reason I mention this is due to looking 10 years younger than my age (32). So I tend to attract girls ranging from 17 - 22 pending on my attire.


One of the major advantages of the male sex is that we effectively stop aging from 25-50 (assuming we take decent care of ourselves). It's significantly harder to judge a man's age than a woman's. That said, women tend to think about our age as they see us, not on our actual chronological achievement.


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## Balfour (Mar 23, 2012)

How a 40 year old man should dress = Manton, on Style Forum.


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## Balfour (Mar 23, 2012)

StylinLa said:


> I'm kinda with Colonel Mustard here.I live and work in LA. Work has become a very informal atmosphere here. I often dress in a manner that would appall many of the mainstays here. (Diesel jeans, AE Black Mactavish shoes, black silk shirt... I can hear Balfour retching).
> 
> But I also often swim against the current and dress in a very traditional manner espoused by many here. Now granted, I am a older gent in a youth oriented environment. But I am confident in saying that women (and men) do take note of someone well dressed and do "get it." While I often get hassled for dressing nicely, it IS duly noted, and makes an impression. There is a resistance to someone swimming upstream. Personally I think a lot of men are lazy or cheap.
> 
> I believe that with women and men, there is underlying pressure to "fit in" with whatever the current "norms" are perceived to be. The point is to set your own style and wear it with confidence...even if it make Balfour retch.


LOL.

We may disagree less than you think, though. While I may think the 'yoof casual' look is loathsome, I agree you need to balance how one would wish to dress with what is expected in your workplace.

I'm fortunate. I work in a fairly conservative but not ultra-conservative environment. As I've posted elsewhere, although I wear pocket squares, I would never wear one to an interview because I think it (a) could adversely affect ones chances and (b) would not improve ones chances (hence all potential downside, no upside). But in my vocation I could wear anything from three piece suits to blazer and slacks without transgressing any boundaries.

But I sort of like the idea of a 'Balfour retching' test - some folk here could benefit from applying it!:wink2:


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## StylinLa (Feb 15, 2009)

Balfour said:


> LOL.
> 
> We may disagree less than you think, though. While I may think the 'yoof casual' look is loathsome, I agree you need to balance how one would wish to dress with what is expected in your workplace.
> 
> ...


I quite enjoy this forum and like that there are some arbiters of conservative men's style for sure.

I like to dress, but in my work environment, it is frowned upon. The top executives in my division regularly wear dress slacks and shoes with an untucked casual shirt (Faconnable, Nordstrom, Boss).

When I show up dressed nicely, I am ostracized. Wearing a tie is nearly seen like act of defiance...as in "who do you think you are?" (I have a lot of nice ties gathering dust on my nifty little spinning tie rack.)

The entertainment industry in Los Angeles has long had its own set of rules, and traditional men's dressing is discouraged (known as "East Coast" here). In the 20+ years I have worked here, not one man has ever come to work in a blazer with metal buttons or in a vested suit. Ever. In my first week on the job, I was told emphatically "do not ever wear a vest here."


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## Balfour (Mar 23, 2012)

StylinLa said:


> I quite enjoy this forum and like that there are some arbiters of conservative men's style for sure.
> 
> I like to dress, but in my work environment, it is frowned upon. The top executives in my division regularly wear dress slacks and shoes with an untucked casual shirt (Faconnable, Nordstrom, Boss).
> 
> When I show up dressed nicely, I am ostracized. Wearing a tie is nearly seen like act of defiance...as in "who do you think you are?" (I have a lot of nice ties gathering dust on my nifty little spinning tie rack.)


I feel for you. But much as I have my strictures and views on things (that you've no doubt picked up on:wink2, professional position and advancement trumps sartorial preferences every time in my view so I don't think we actually disagree. This is only a hobby!


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## Rick Blaine (Aug 26, 2012)

Balfour said:


> I feel for you. But much as I have my strictures and views on things (that you've no doubt picked up on:wink2, professional position and advancement trumps sartorial preferences every time in my view so I don't think we actually disagree. This is only a hobby!


+1 to the last three posts.


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## arkirshner (May 10, 2005)

StylinLa said:


> I quite enjoy this forum and like that there are some arbiters of conservative men's style for sure.
> 
> I like to dress, but in my work environment, it is frowned upon. The top executives in my division regularly wear dress slacks and shoes with an untucked casual shirt (Faconnable, Nordstrom, Boss).
> 
> ...





Balfour said:


> I feel for you. But much as I have my strictures and views on things (that you've no doubt picked up on:wink2, professional position and advancement trumps sartorial preferences every time in my view so I don't think we actually disagree. This is only a hobby!


I fully agree with Mr.Balfour. Your company has, in effect, promulgated a uniform, and so, when in Rome do as the Romans do. Nevertheless, it is useful to recall, when Rome was at its zenith, Greeks, while they flocked to Rome to work for those with the money, could not help but look at the Romans as cultural inferiors.

Your work environment is evidence of what Paul Fussell called "prole drift...the tendency in advanced industrialized societies for everything [including mass popular entertainment] inexorably to become proletarianized." You can wear their uniform and take their money, but like the Greeks,you do not have to buy into their standards.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

PreppyBoy said:


> If a man's face does not match the style of clothing he is sporting, people will comment on his attire. Society always judges a person's age from a facial standpoint.
> 
> Some men with baby faces tend to grow a beard to increase their age if, they do not mind sporting a beard. If that is not your cup of tea, there is really nothing you can do for how the face age is based on genetics. Matters will be worse if you live a stress free life.


I used to sport a moustache and goatee years ago till I decided to shave it all off and never grow it again after 8 years ago.And people say I look 10 years younger, I decided to keep my babyface look.


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## StylinLa (Feb 15, 2009)

arkirshner said:


> I fully agree with Mr.Balfour. Your company has, in effect, promulgated a uniform, and so, when in Rome do as the Romans do. Nevertheless, it is useful to recall, when Rome was at its zenith, Greeks, while they flocked to Rome to work for those with the money, could not help but look at the Romans as cultural inferiors. Your work environment is evidence of what Paul Fussell called "prole drift...the tendency in advanced industrialized societies for everything [including mass popular entertainment] inexorably to become proletarianized." You can wear their uniform and take their money, but like the Greeks,you do not have to buy into their standards.


 Yes, well I draw the line at the untucked shirt thing. Not gonna do it.


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## petro (Apr 5, 2005)

poorboy said:


> My female friend told me again that suits make me look old, but I'm 41! How am I supposed to dress? What do you think a 40 year old man should be wearing?


You are old.

I'm 45, and I'm old.

Not as old as some, but by 41, in decades past, you'd be getting ready to see your first kid getting married, and grand children wouldn't be far off.

You're (probably) starting to get grey hair, if you haven't lost most of it yet. If you've neither lost hair, nor is it turning grey, they you're in the minority.

And finally, you are, or should be, an adult. People this day are holding on to childhood or at best young-adulthood as long as they can.

Your "female friend" sees you in a suit--that thing that *adults* wear to a "real job", and sees herself aging.

Or as a high-school acquaintance noted on when we ran into each other at our 20th, "where did all these old people come from".

As to what a 41 year old should wear, you're an adult.

Once you come to terms with *being an adult*, wear whatever you want.


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## poorboy (Feb 23, 2012)

petro said:


> You're (probably) starting to get grey hair, if you haven't lost most of it yet. If you've neither lost hair, nor is it turning grey, they you're in the minority.
> 
> And finally, you are, or should be, an adult. People this day are holding on to childhood or at best young-adulthood as long as they can.


I only have one or two grey hairs and still have all my hair thanks to the miracle of Propecia.

I had a 42 year old co worker who dressed like he was in his 20's with skin tight black shirts, fully tapered pants and skinny ties. In my opinion, he looked PATHETIC! 42 years old! COME ON! Of course he still lived at home and when he needed a suit, he'd borrow one from his brother, but that's another story.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

> You're (probably) starting to get grey hair, if you haven't lost most of it yet. If you've neither lost hair, nor is it turning grey, they you're in the minority.


I'm getting grey on the sides and I'm losing my hair or what you call "thinning".


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## PreppyBoy (Jan 1, 2005)

Howard said:


> I used to sport a moustache and goatee years ago till I decided to shave it all off and never grow it again after 8 years ago.And people say I look 10 years younger, I decided to keep my babyface look.


I was never fond of facial hair other than eyebrows so my face is clean at all times. If a man can tolerate dating girls that are 10 years (or more) younger than their actual age there is really nothing wrong having a baby face. The only shock will be girls that are younger than you reluctant to date you due to assuming they are older than you.

As Apatheticviews pointed out&#8230;



> That said, women tend to think about our age as they see us, not on our actual chronological achievement.


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## Rick Blaine (Aug 26, 2012)

poorboy said:


> I had a 42 year old co worker who dressed like he was in his 20's with skin tight black shirts


You worked with Anderson Cooper?!!


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## arkirshner (May 10, 2005)

Rick Blaine said:


> You worked with Anderson Cooper?!!


-LOL-


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

PreppyBoy said:


> I was never fond of facial hair other than eyebrows so my face is clean at all times. If a man can tolerate dating girls that are 10 years (or more) younger than their actual age there is really nothing wrong having a baby face. The only shock will be girls that are younger than you reluctant to date you due to assuming they are older than you.
> 
> As Apatheticviews pointed out&#8230;


I found that facial hair itched my face so I shaved it all off for good 8 years ago.


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