# Sticky  Civility, Kindness, being Welcoming & a Reminder



## iam.mike

While there are a good deal of positive interactions happening within our community, there are a growing number of less-than-positive conversations occurring, and they are happening frequently enough for us to want bring some attention to it.

Here is one example of an email from a newer member who recently asked us to deactivate his account:

_If you don't mind I wanted to mention something that maybe you could pass along. Basically, I have never participated in an Internet forum before and now I know why._​​_I had been reading AAAC off and on for years before signing up. I was very cautious to do so given the behavior I had seen. _​​_However, I enjoy nicer clothing and there aren't very many of us. Also, it appeared to be a good place if I had a question. Also, during my brief time as a member I did talk to what appeared to be some pleasant and quality people. _​​_I'm a friendly and fun loving guy. I figured if I put forth that impression all would be well. I also realize the big picture that it's just clothing and nothing to be overly serious about. Who really cares what someone is wearing?_​​_Obviously, I was wrong. _​​_Negativity, rudeness, and nastiness, seems to be normal and not the exception. I witnessed quite a bit and it really discouraged me from posting oftentimes. _​​_I wasn't the victim of it too much (although once is too many.) The final straw was when I felt the need to reply and gently defend myself. _​​_I normally just ignore stupid things from anonymous strangers but this time was insulted with profanity for merely offering friendly advice. I suppose it's true that cowards become brave when hiding behind a keyboard. _​​_I also believe it has a little to do with the demographic. No offense meant but let's face it: nearly all of the "regulars" are big city Easterners and it shows. _​​_I know nothing about internet etiquette but I don't understand why this is allowed to go on. _​​_I'm actually somewhat disappointed as I was only aboard to have some fun! In fairness, I did to a large extent and there are a few fellas I'll genuinely kind of miss saying hello to. _​​_Thanks for reading._​
While we understand that not everyone communicates the same way, we expect every member of our Community to behave in a civil and welcoming manner to other members -- no matter if they are new members or long-timers.

This does not mean we will expect nor attempt to enforce a 100% PC dialog, because there is far too much subjectivity that goes into defining what that is. Plus, we do love a good lively & creative discussion!

However, when we see behavior that we deem as being uncivil or unwelcoming, we will begin issuing infractions to the offenders, regardless of how long they have been a member here.

After a number of infractions, the offender will be suspended from the site, either temporarily or permanently.

Please see our official Rules for additional details.

We want to ensure Ask Andy About Clothes stays a thriving community that is welcoming to everyone -- a place where people truly enjoy spending their time and sharing their thoughts, opinions, & advice with one another.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

*Building a Better Ask Andy*

For information on what we're doing to build a better Ask Andy, please see this thread:
https://askandyaboutclothes.com/community/threads/building-a-better-ask-andy.243158/


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## iam.mike

A reminder of the original premise of this sub-community:

_A place for ladies and gentlemen to sit back in a plush leather club chair, with drink and cigar in hand and pleasantly discuss the great issues of the day that are not about clothes. Although I personally can't think of a single issue that isn't all about the clothes!_​
*And Rule #1 which applies to all discussions across the entire Community:*

1. No flames.

Keep all debates clean and civil. This is a gentleman's (and ladies) online Community. Everyone is expected to behave accordingly. What constitutes flaming and incivility should be clear to all: no name-calling, ad hominem attacks, slurs, swearing, or personal insults. Individual instances of flaming and/or incivility will be judged by the moderators.

If you are having difficulty controlling your emotions and are not able to support your point of view with respect for your fellow Members with opposing views you just might want to stay out of the Interchange! Maybe run for Congress!


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