# Dealing with idiots in the workplace...



## The Gabba Goul (Feb 11, 2005)

Okay...so a few months ago...I was called into HR...there had been a rumor for a while that I was sleeping with the boss (totally untrue, although we are good friends, but I'm also good friends with her husband)...any-who...one of my moron co-workers decided to report this "inappropriate relationship" to HR who did a full investigation...needless to say I was pissed...but I let it go, as all the fuss had seemed to die down...now my mother works at the same hospital as me aparently, this rumor had gotten all the way around to ther department...now my mother had to raise two children on her own because of an unfaithful husband...so when she heard this rumor that I was some kind of homewrecker, she was pissed, it took a lot of convincing ofr her to finally believe the truth (now before any of you want to reference back to my post on cheating...I'll just let it be known that int he real world grown men dont make it a habbit to discuss their sex lives with their mother)...anywho...once again it died down...but I'm hearing whispers again...and truth be told, I'm sick of it...I've confronted people who I knew were spreading the rumors...but that only seems to make them want to talk more crap...soooo...now I'm unsure...I pose a kind of "What would you do?" question...my stepdad who is in charge of a pretty big company said that an employee in my position could go as far as to even cailm sexual harassment...I dont want to do that...and I dont necessarily want to see anybody get into trouble, but at the same time...it has to stop by any means necessary...

so...what would you do if you were in a similar situation???


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## yachtie (May 11, 2006)

Report them to HR for harassment and slander. You can also sue them.


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## The Gabba Goul (Feb 11, 2005)

I'd hate for it to come to that...but it may...although I'd like to explore less drastic avenues first...


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

An especially cruel and vicious practical joke might not help things, but it could make you feel better. (It might get you fired, too.)

Unfortunately, this stuff probably won't die. Could you get another position? It's not fair, but you probably either have to deal with this (if not in your face, it may go on behind your back.) as long as you work there.


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## KenR (Jun 22, 2005)

You did say the fuss was dieing down before your mother found out. Let the rumor die down some more, even if it does not go away entirely. If you need to, discuss the situation with HR. But a lawsuit seems _way_ too drastic a retaliation, which will certainly bring things to a boil again.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

...was it not Shakespeare who wrote, "methinks he protests too much"? What would be the predictable result of a lawsuit?


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## The Gabba Goul (Feb 11, 2005)

eagle2250 said:


> ...was it not Shakespeare who wrote, "methinks he protests too much"? What would be the predictable result of a lawsuit?


Perhaps I'm misunderstanding what you're implying here...but let me assure you that there never is and never was any kind of inappropriate relationship going on...I would just prefer not to go through all that crap and turn this into something huge...


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

I'm not a lawyer, but I have some experience with this situation in the reverse.

You definitely need to get some legal help after which they will notify a board member directly to start your own separate investigation of the false allegation requesting specifically they "they explain the failure to prove corrective action was taken in the first go-round and provide corrective action immediately." The company is liable (particularly if they are dumb enough to have written policies they didn't follow) since their agent/HR was notified and they only did half their job. Pretty much, once someone kicks *that* can over - making it official - someone has to be fired. That can be you, it can be the moron that volunteered themself and went to HR in the first place, or it can be the person that started the vicious and false rumor. Basic strategy says you can only eliminate one of the three possibilities, but you should act deliberately and realize HR defends the company not your interests.

If I was *allowed* to say more, I would.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

The Gabba Goul said:


> Perhaps I'm misunderstanding what you're implying here...but let me assure you that there never is and never was any kind of inappropriate relationship going on...I would just prefer not to go through all that crap and turn this into something huge...


GG: The intent of my post was to say that if you went to all the effort and cost of filing a lawsuit, a good percentage of your coworkers are going to conclude there is/was something there. Were I in your situation, I suspect I would try to wait it out, as the rumors died down.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

eagle2250 said:


> GG: The intent of my post was to say that if you went to all the effort and cost of filing a lawsuit, a good percentage of your coworkers are going to conclude there is/was something there. Were I in your situation, I suspect I would try to wait it out, as the rumors died down.


YMMV, but for us the first step was not to file a lawsuit. There was the "implied threat" of a discrimination suit if something like 30 days went by without a corrective action taken in alignment with their published policies and previous cases. He just needs "someone" to "officially" ask an "officer" to do it. However, he can't sue yet AFAIK. IMHO he does need an atty.


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## crazyquik (Jun 8, 2005)

The Gabba Goul said:


> I'd hate for it to come to that...but it may...although I'd like to explore less drastic avenues first...


So I take it you've ruled out nuke them from orbit?

It's the only way to be sure.


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## gnatty8 (Nov 7, 2006)

Not to hijack the thread, but it is about difficult people in the workplace.

Anybody ever work with or supervise the dreaded glory hog? These are the folks who work with you or for you on a project, and they do everything they can to make it look like they are running the show. They e-mail/call other involved parties without copying or inviting their colleagues. They send out documents without seeking other team member's approval of them, resulting in difficult situations when the documents contain errors. Anybody have any experience with this? Most of the time, the behavior is harmless but frustrating. Other times, it can be damaging, such as when bad information is communicated due to lack of experience. Any thoughts?


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

First: exactly right, HR's job is to protect the organization from litigation. End of story.

Secondly, if you have been accused of an inappropriate relationship and called down to HR, you either need an attorney or you need to bring an employee ombudsman with you. This could be any employee; basically just anyone to be on "your side" in any HR meeting. No one is on "your side" but you. 

Next, once HR makes in investigation of this, it becomes confidential. Anyone that speaks of it outside HR is violating the policy of investigation and could well be subject to termination. HR should have made this clear.

Lastly, non-retaliation policy. Every organization should have a non-retaliation policy. People that viciously gossip or take affirmative actions against someone accused or bringing an accusation will be subject to this. Again, termination is the usual result of such things.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

I would hate for one of my co-workers to be spreading rumors that I was sleeping with the boss.

Have you thought about talking with the boss telling her it's all a lie?


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## tabasco (Jul 17, 2006)

The Gabba Goul said:


> I'd hate for it to come to that...but it may...although I'd like to explore less drastic avenues first...





The Gabba Goul said:


> ....
> Sence I dont really know any of you I can admit this...I've assisted in cheating (as in sleeping with married women)...I've cheated on girlfriends (sometimes with the aforementioned married women)...and I too have been cheated on...
> 
> ...but at the same time...I figured I have to accept it if I'm going to participate in the same behavior. That's one of the main reasons that I dont ever really want to get married is because I'm sure if I got bored or whatever, perhaps it's my hispanic blood or something...but I'd probably do it again, and in that case it would have huge consequences...
> ...


hmmm, something about lying down with dogs and getting up with fleas....

sounds like your reputation/attitudes have caught up with you.

change jobs, or change your behavior and attitudes and accept responsibility for your behavior. Leave the damn lawyers out of it.

M


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## TheSaint (Jun 28, 2005)

I agree with Wayfarer's comments. Make no mistake about HR. HR purpose in life is to PROTECT THE COMPANY. Never ever forget that.

This seems very strange. I am pretty high up the corporate ladder and rumors about people sleeping with people blah blah blah happens all the time. You mean to tell me that someone went to HR and complained that someone is ALLEGEDLY sleeping with someone in the company. Unless this person has pictures or witnessed inappropriate behavior on company property, I don't really know what the fuss is all about. I am surprised at the HR Dept would conduct an investigation on a "rumor" unless this boss filed a complaint that you were harassing her for sex, making inappropriate comments or something along those lines. Now, if HR continues to act and call you into the office over this silly nonsense and it seems you may be fired or a reprimand, you obviously may want to seek counsel from a Labor Attorney. I suggest you ignore the gossip and everythig else. This will probably just go away and die an ugly death. Technically, this really is your manager's problem, not yours. Especially if there is a company policy that manager's cannot date subordinates etc etc.


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## guitone (Mar 20, 2005)

Whether your past posts show a lack of discreetness or not, is not the point here and I will not go there, but it is something you should look at, as your co-workers probably know a bit about your history or your moral fiber.

That said, it is your responsibility to take care of yourself in the workplace. Bringing charges is a no win for everyone, but sometimes needs to be done. I think reporting this to your supervisor for their counsel may be fine but if your direct supervisor is the woman in question you have a tough road ahead and you may end up taking it in the rear. I wonder what your boss thinks of this and how she is handling it, surely she must have heard the rumors as well? It may be time to not talk of this or any other outside work recreation, maybe some folks think they know you better than they do, maybe you are projecting an image to them that they want to make you feel pain for, or they may indeed think you are sleeping with your boss, which btw, does not make it ok for them to be discussing it. But remember, you are in a work place, a closed system and people will and do talk. Good luck.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

Wayfarer said:


> First: exactly right, HR's job is to protect the organization from litigation. End of story.
> 
> Secondly, if you have been accused of an inappropriate relationship and called down to HR, you either need an attorney or you need to bring an employee ombudsman with you. This could be any employee; basically just anyone to be on "your side" in any HR meeting. No one is on "your side" but you.
> 
> ...


Yep, Yep. Agree on the retaliation policy too; if they have them. By getting your first move in you also protect yourself from retaliation or at least make it very expensive for them. Policies are a double-edged sword for companies because people are generally so poor at implementing procedures by the book. A good atty will find the violation that has to be there in how they have handled this situation. As Way said, there has to be one because people are still talking about it after the first go-round.


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## xcubbies (Jul 31, 2005)

GG, I didn't know you were a doctor. 

From your earlier posts I assume that you are highly attractive to women; so maybe you share at least some of the blame. I know it's not a crime to be irresistable, but, like a television, one has to control the volume. Your boss is a woman, right?

Howard's right, tell your boss it wasn't you.

Guit, there is no word 'discreetness'. I think the word is discretion.''


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## guitone (Mar 20, 2005)

xcubbies said:


> GG, I didn't know you were a doctor.
> 
> From your earlier posts I assume that you are highly attractive to women; so maybe you share at least some of the blame. I know it's not a crime to be irresistable, but, like a television, one has to control the volume. Your boss is a woman, right?
> 
> ...


I know, I was playing with what I wanted to try to convey...thanks.....got stuck for a few, I wish we had a spell check here.


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

guitone said:


> I know, I was playing with what I wanted to try to convey...thanks.....got stuck for a few, I wish we had a spell check here.


Guit, download Firefox. It comes with a built in spell check!


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## guitone (Mar 20, 2005)

Wayfarer said:


> Guit, download Firefox. It comes with a built in spell check!


I use firefox most of the time, than Wayfarer, will check it out.


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

The Gabba Goul said:


> Okay...so a few months ago...I was called into HR...there had been a rumor for a while that I was sleeping with the boss (totally untrue, although we are good friends, but I'm also good friends with her husband)...any-who...one of my moron co-workers decided to report this "inappropriate relationship" to HR who did a full investigation...needless to say I was pissed...but I let it go, as all the fuss had seemed to die down...now my mother works at the same hospital as me aparently, this rumor had gotten all the way around to ther department...now my mother had to raise two children on her own because of an unfaithful husband...so when she heard this rumor that I was some kind of homewrecker, she was pissed, it took a lot of convincing ofr her to finally believe the truth (now before any of you want to reference back to my post on cheating...I'll just let it be known that int he real world grown men dont make it a habbit to discuss their sex lives with their mother)...anywho...once again it died down...but I'm hearing whispers again...and truth be told, I'm sick of it...I've confronted people who I knew were spreading the rumors...but that only seems to make them want to talk more crap...soooo...now I'm unsure...I pose a kind of "What would you do?" question...my stepdad who is in charge of a pretty big company said that an employee in my position could go as far as to even cailm sexual harassment...I dont want to do that...and I dont necessarily want to see anybody get into trouble, but at the same time...it has to stop by any means necessary...
> 
> so...what would you do if you were in a similar situation???


Somehow I don't think we're getting the whole story.

The first question I would have asked HR is, "What _exactly_ do you mean by 'inappropriate relationship'?" Obviously, if they called you in after doing a "full investigation", they must have found _some_ violation of policy. If they didn't find any violation, you should tell them to stop harrassing you unless and until they do.

As for everyone else, simply tell them to mind their own business or, preferably, ignore them completely. Just accept the fact the world will never have a shortage of gossips.

Just btw I had a similar experience about 15 years ago, and unlike yourself I actually _was_ in love with my boss. A business trip to Vegas turned into the hottest week of sex I've ever had.


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## guitone (Mar 20, 2005)

We have a woman in our division that has openly told many of us that she was sexually harassed at her last company. To make matters worse she wants to be treated like she is above all others and when she is not threatens that she may have to go to HR...so what do we all do, you guessed it, we stay away from her. So now she complains that nobody likes her. You know, you can work in a company and you do not have to like your coworkers, you simply have to be cordial to them.

PS:Wayfarer, just downloaded the newest firefox, very cool how the spell check works with underlines in red, it even tells me Firefox is wrong unless I use a capital F...you gotta love this, thanks.


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## The Gabba Goul (Feb 11, 2005)

Oh Tabasco...if only you read the very first sentence in that quote...I dont know any of you...I doubt I ever will...so I can tell things like this without worrying about it...but do you honestly believe that I'm running around (at work no less) talking about this???



xcubbies said:


> GG, I didn't know you were a doctor.
> 
> From your earlier posts I assume that you are highly attractive to women; so maybe you share at least some of the blame. I know it's not a crime to be irresistable, but, like a television, one has to control the volume. Your boss is a woman, right?


I'm actually not a Doctor...I have kind of a weird position...it's an admin position, but it's considered non union non management, so I get only some of the perks that the big shots get, and less headaches than the union employees get...

but re your other point...yeah, I do flirt alot, but not at work...one, because there is a serious deficit of attractive women where I work, and two, to avoid situations like the one I find myself in right now...

I actually did place a call to HR on the advice of almost everybody whom I've told this situation to...hopefully some resolution will come of this...


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## tabasco (Jul 17, 2006)

The Gabba Goul said:


> Oh Tabasco...if only you read the very first sentence in that quote...I dont know any of you...I doubt I ever will...so I can tell things like this without worrying about it...but do you honestly believe that I'm running around (at work no less) talking about this???
> 
> but re your other point...yeah, I do flirt alot, but not at work...one, because there is a serious deficit of attractive women where I work, and two, to avoid situations like the one I find myself in right now...
> 
> I actually did place a call to HR on the advice of almost everybody whom I've told this situation to...hopefully some resolution will come of this...


No. I don't think you're talking about your AAAC postings (or your personal life) at work. 
It's just that, no matter where you go, there you are...we bring all our past experiences and lives with us. Perhaps someone knows of your past far more than you are aware and has it in for you. If so, a corporate environment is a terrific environment for intrigue and harassment: legalities and niceties be damned. For your *career*, here's wishing that it blows over with no long term impairments.


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## whomewhat (Nov 11, 2006)

*The Gabba Goul:*

I represent federal employees on these types of issues all the time; currently working on three cases. Obviously, one would need far more information than you have provided here to give any real substantive advice, such as reading a copy of the company's policies, all of them. One thing I can say, however, without knowing more than you have written thus far: The company is generally not liable if you do not bring it to there attention and give them an opportunity to correct the situation. You need to tell them, and by that I mean, in writing.

Some here are proponents of doing nothing, which is fine, Others are on the other end of the spectrum, suggesting lawsuits, which seems premature. I would tell you what I have had to tell quite a few people recently in this regard when they have come to me for help. You can essentially do two things when you are being treated unfairly at work: Fight or do nothing.

First, you can do nothing. If you decide to go this route then my advice, as it is to others, is to stop complaining about it then. If you are unwilling to stand up for yourself, for your rights, then you ought not complain when people walk all over you. I spent more than four hours on the phone two nights ago with a friend who works for San Joaquim (spelling?) County and is having a problem relating to disability discrimination and the Family and Medical Leave Act. I quoted to him, directly from the FMLA, told him what the law was, told him what his rights are, and he just cowered, refusing to do anyting. Yet, he whined and complained all night, over and over again about the same things. Of course, he is a friend so I listened, but the truth is if he is unwilling to stand up to his employer then the discussion is really over. In that case, I advocate seeing a therapist.

Second, you can fight. If you fight, you will make some people unhappy. Even the employer, who has a duty to provide you with a hostile free work environment, will be unhappy because they do not like problems. I have seen victims far too often villified by their employer, co-workers, etc., because they made a complaint and it does not end just because a person might win a lawsuit in court. Some will say that winning the lawsuit does not mean you were right, just that you won.

It is not in my nature to allow people to walk all over me, so I obviously advocate fighting, in most cases. I have also known people who were so fragile, or came from a culture that does not advocate defending ones self, and have advised that they learn to live with it and/or see a therapist.

In any event, if you really want to do something about it, I would be happy to discuss the issue with you and advise you further. I am retired, have lots of free time, am passionate about this issue, and do not charge! Just a thought.


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## ksinc (May 30, 2005)

FrankDC said:


> Just btw I had a similar experience about 15 years ago, and unlike yourself I actually _was_ in love with my boss. A business trip to Vegas turned into the hottest week of sex I've ever had.


So, what happened? Did you have to get a lawyer? Did he lose his job?


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## Trenditional (Feb 15, 2006)

FrankDC said:


> *Somehow I don't think we're getting the whole story.*


Gaba, I have to agree with Frank on this one. Every work place has a rumor mill and employees who enjoy feeding it. From my experience those who get wrapped up in the rumor mill usually aren't outside the playing field as much as they claim they are. You don't mention how your boss seems to be taking these rumors. Lastly, if they're just "rumors" who cares, let those who have no lives play their games and just do your job. You're not married, so you don't have to worry about any potential backlash at home. You said you're friends with your boss and her husband, so there shouldn't be any concern for any type of problems on her end. Just leave it be. I'd say if anyone has an interest in quashing these rumors it would be your boss. She is married and in a position of authority, any negative ramifications would affect her more than you.


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## The Gabba Goul (Feb 11, 2005)

Trenditional said:


> Gaba, I have to agree with Frank on this one. Every work place has a rumor mill and employees who enjoy feeding it. From my experience those who get wrapped up in the rumor mill usually aren't outside the playing field as much as they claim they are. You don't mention how your boss seems to be taking these rumors. Lastly, if they're just "rumors" who cares, let those who have no lives play their games and just do your job. You're not married, so you don't have to worry about any potential backlash at home. You said you're friends with your boss and her husband, so there shouldn't be any concern for any type of problems on her end. Just leave it be. I'd say if anyone has an interest in quashing these rumors it would be your boss. She is married and in a position of authority, any negative ramifications would affect her more than you.


Well...it's tricky...for those that may care...I'll give some history, I dont want to divulge too much, just because you never know who might know somebody or whatever...

Anyway...I started my friendship with my boss about a year ago, when I was going through a very tough time with a GF of mine (not relationship trouble...something else), any way...it was effecting my work performance, so she called me into her office one day, I explained my situation (after fully accepting my warning from her and not trying to make any excuses to get special treatment or whatever)...she was willing to listen, so in order to thank her for that I bought her a small gift...after which, as a way of thanking me, she invited the GF and I to her home, where I quickly became friends with her husband. Sence then I have been to her house innumerable times, and at work her and I will have lunch together etc...but I dont really make it a point to advertize this to other co-workers. Anyway, I have worked with this other really weird lady who has always acted really strange around me sence I started, others in the hospital have said that they think she likes me...well anyway, I could care less, but this may very well be the case as I suspect that she is the one who called HR out of jealousy...she was the one who made some really out of line comment about the boss and I at our most recent staff meeting, and I did indeed call her on it.

I mean, I could understand how a person might mistake a friendship between a man and woman for more than what it is...but after she and I have both repeatedly made it clear that nothing is going on, it really needs to stop...and truthfully, she can't really say anything, because alot of these employees (the weird lady included) belong to a particularly corrupt union, who would turn this thing into a living nightmare for a supervisor...


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## bwep (Apr 17, 2005)

GG

I am sorry that you are having to go thru this. Is she good looking? Ok, now that I got the callous and immature response out of my system ( I tend to try to look at these situations silly as a defense mechanism), I understand what you are going through. I have to tread very carefully as a phsyician/surgeon at work for fear that even a slight comment can be misconstrued and a code purple called or accusations such as yours be made. My personal belief and second reaction is that it is no one's business and that it takes two to tango and that we are all grown-ups. I usually have to take a step back and look to my third reaction to realize that some have a position of power and that the it takes two to tango may not be completely applicable. At any rate, I think that all you can do is to go on record with HR, be honest, and move on. You know the truth, your family knows the truth and your friends (your boss) know the truth. That's what is important. I think that I am naive and live in a fairytale and would trust what some of the legal beagles are saying though.


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## guitone (Mar 20, 2005)

The Gabba Goul said:


> Well...it's tricky...for those that may care...I'll give some history, I dont want to divulge too much, just because you never know who might know somebody or whatever...
> 
> Anyway...I started my friendship with my boss about a year ago, when I was going through a very tough time with a GF of mine (not relationship trouble...something else), any way...it was effecting my work performance, so she called me into her office one day, I explained my situation (after fully accepting my warning from her and not trying to make any excuses to get special treatment or whatever)...she was willing to listen, so in order to thank her for that I bought her a small gift...after which, as a way of thanking me, she invited the GF and I to her home, where I quickly became friends with her husband. Sence then I have been to her house innumerable times, and at work her and I will have lunch together etc...but I dont really make it a point to advertize this to other co-workers. Anyway, I have worked with this other really weird lady who has always acted really strange around me sence I started, others in the hospital have said that they think she likes me...well anyway, I could care less, but this may very well be the case as I suspect that she is the one who called HR out of jealousy...she was the one who made some really out of line comment about the boss and I at our most recent staff meeting, and I did indeed call her on it.
> 
> I mean, I could understand how a person might mistake a friendship between a man and woman for more than what it is...but after she and I have both repeatedly made it clear that nothing is going on, it really needs to stop...and truthfully, she can't really say anything, because alot of these employees (the weird lady included) belong to a particularly corrupt union, who would turn this thing into a living nightmare for a supervisor...


GG, the present to your boss was a no no, not good. The fact that she accepted it and invited you to her home is a bit odd. Developing friendships with a supervisor can happen, but it is difficult at best. The fact the you and her husband have developed a friendship is good. I don't know what else to add except be careful, don't be naive, there may be more going on than even you are aware of at the moment. I would be curious, but not really in the need to know what your supervisor has said about all of this. You have to be careful about divulging too much about your private life to HR or anyone else, careers are on the line with something like this.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

FrankDC said:


> Somehow I don't think we're getting the whole story.
> 
> The first question I would have asked HR is, "What _exactly_ do you mean by 'inappropriate relationship'?" Obviously, if they called you in after doing a "full investigation", they must have found _some_ violation of policy. If they didn't find any violation, you should tell them to stop harrassing you unless and until they do.
> 
> ...


And was your boss in trouble for having sex with her employee?


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

The Gabba Goul said:


> Well...it's tricky...
> I mean, I could understand how a person might mistake a friendship between a man and woman for more than what it is...





guitone said:


> GG, the present to your boss was a no no, not good. The fact that she accepted it and invited you to her home is a bit odd. Developing friendships with a supervisor can happen, but it is difficult at best.


Back in the day, we had a saying, "you don't sh*t where you eat!" In other words, the commander doesn't fraternize with the troops; the boss doesn't develope personal friendships with or routinely socialize with the employees; not because of "class" differences but rather, because it just does not work...Someone always gets the wrong impression and it does affect the work unit. Were I the Hospital Administrator, at the facility for which you work, I would be having a very frank disciplinary discussion with your supervisor!


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

Howard said:


> And was your boss in trouble for having sex with her employee?


What happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas.


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## guitone (Mar 20, 2005)

eagle2250 said:


> Back in the day, we had a saying, "you don't sh*t where you eat!" In other words, the commander doesn't fraternize with the troops; the boss doesn't develope personal friendships with or routinely socialize with the employees; not because of "class" differences but rather, because it just does not work...Someone always gets the wrong impression and it does affect the work unit. Were I the Hospital Administrator, at the facility for which you work, I would be having a very frank disciplinary discussion with your supervisor!


eagle, when I worked for my uncle many years ago in NYC in his warehouse we could not sit on the shipping table for the , "you don't s*** where you eat" saying, today it means so much. I see so many young reps in our company pairing off at meetings and doing what we never would, never will. The moral thermometer has changed drastically.


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## xcubbies (Jul 31, 2005)

GG, I would be happy to sign a petition, and I'm sure many of our friends at AAAC would sign too, if you felt that your rights were in jeopardy. Just say the word and we're with you.


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## xcubbies (Jul 31, 2005)

xcubbies said:


> GG, I would be happy to sign a petition, and I'm sure many of our friends at AAAC would sign too, if you felt that your rights were in jeopardy. Just say the word and we're with you.


Problem!!! Do they call you Gabba Goul at work? If not, how will they know on who's behalf we are petitioning?


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

FrankDC said:


> What happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas.


That's a good idea Frank.


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## tabasco (Jul 17, 2006)

xcubbies said:


> Problem!!! Do they call you Gabba Goul at work? If not, how will they know on who's behalf we are petitioning?


Problem!!! Do we sign our user names ? our avatars (darn, I don't have one )? our occasionally signed initials or first names ?
Hmm, sence this is mostly made up as we go along, mebbe I can don another persona. It's all fair in love and war. We're all men here right ? Well, mostly men.

In a quandry


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## tabasco (Jul 17, 2006)

xcubbies said:


> GG, I would be happy to sign a petition, and I'm sure many of our friends at AAAC would sign too, if you felt that your rights were in jeopardy. Just say the word and we're with you.


BTW, xcubbies, a splendid idea, wot?

Would I were so charitably inclined.

Upon review of my prior posts, my thoughts and comments seemed to solely self-serving. Perhaps others in the fora would be kind ebough to comment and discreetly refer me to appropriate avenues to expand my communal responsibilities and rights. It's great to be in a band of well dressed (mostly) brothers. Maybe I need some new shoes:icon_smile_big: .

Staring in the mirror and disliking what I see


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

xcubbies said:


> Problem!!! Do they call you Gabba Goul at work? If not, how will they know on who's behalf we are petitioning?


What kind of name is Gabba Goul?


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## The Gabba Goul (Feb 11, 2005)

Howard said:


> What kind of name is Gabba Goul?


It's a username...kinda like...Howard...


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## jcriswel (Sep 16, 2006)

*Hard won lessons*



eagle2250 said:


> Back in the day, we had a saying, "you don't sh*t where you eat!" In other words, the commander doesn't fraternize with the troops; the boss doesn't develope personal friendships with or routinely socialize with the employees; not because of "class" differences but rather, because it just does not work...Someone always gets the wrong impression and it does affect the work unit. Were I the Hospital Administrator, at the facility for which you work, I would be having a very frank disciplinary discussion with your supervisor!


GG,

Eagle has provided you with some amazing wisdom. When you're young, as I understand you are under thirty which qualifies as young, it's sometimes hard to take advice from the older and wiser. Listen to this advice. Do not fraternize with those above or below you in your workplace! It is fraught with danger and not worth it. It appears it's too late for that advice because you have fraternizied with your boss and her family. Now you have found out why this time tested wisdom is worth heeding.

Now that your tit is in the wringer (believe me, it is *your* tit and not HR's or anybody else's) you're going to have to figure the most discreet and gentlemanly way out of this. Saying and doing nothing has its merits. Memories are short. Mark this one up to a lesson learned.

jcriswel


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## VC2000 (Feb 10, 2006)

It seems to me that your boss should have some say in this matter as well? Isn't the rumor that you are having a sexual relationship with her? What does she have to say or how to handle it? She is equally being injured if not more so by the rumors. (She is a woman (the double standard), she is married, management...) Your actions aren't independent of her. Any action you take I think should be in concert with her thoughts. Yes this might look like you have a relationship which you do but it is only friends. Friends and business associates are able to talk about difficult situations. If you act alone I might think you appear a jilted lover.


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

I like Criswell's advice.


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