# Are We Too Harsh in the Interchange



## RSS (Dec 30, 2003)

Lately, I've had more than a few rather heated disagreements here in the Interchange. I guess I just like to argue from time to time ... or perhaps too much of the time. However, via AAAC Private Messages, I've come to realize that several of the participants -- myself included -- feel that we sometimes have a tendency to go bit too far in our on-line attacks of others' points of view ... and even each other. 

So, I ask, are we sometimes too harsh on others and/or other's points of view ... particularly in this forum? 

Thoughts?


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## rkipperman (Mar 19, 2006)

No, not harsh enough.


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## KenR (Jun 22, 2005)

Yes, often the exchanges get a bit over the top. Sometimes people immediately go for the jugular, sometimes they are pushed to it.


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

I think so. I think that because we are somewhat anonymous, it can be easier to type the cold post. I just had to back off a bit on one. I was pissed and pressed "send" instead of counting to ten.

I will admit, for people I IM with or have met in person, it is far harder for me to be shrill.

While I don't consider myself one of the harsher folks on here, I think we would all do well to be a bit more gentlemanly at times.


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## AlanC (Oct 28, 2003)

Harsh? On the Interchange? Why, I'm shocked at the very suggestion.


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

I OBJECT TO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## BertieW (Jan 17, 2006)

Good question, RSS. 

While I try to distance myself from the really incendiary interactions, even skimming some of the more mean-spirited, heated exchanges has led me to nearly delete this Web site from my bookmarks. So far, though, I've learned to ignore the posts that seem particularly ungentlemanly and retain my membership. But I have to admit that occasionally I feel downright bummed out by some of the negativity here. I'm sure I've contributed some fuel myself, historically, which I regret. 

But some of the comments here lately do seem beyond the pale, and certainly beneath the dignity of a true gentleman, I should think. 

That's the (quasi)anonymity of the Internet for you. Brings out the beast in some of us.


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Sometimes, I know I come across as too harsh. I think many of us are guilty of it. When I first started posting here, I was as polite and as impersonal as I could be. I ended every post wishing people my warmest regards. However, I found that when my posts were challenged, mocked, ridiculed, that a polite defense seemed to never work. So being an adaptable lad, and a rather fast study, I learned to tear open the jugular quickly and deeply. I guess I am too jaded, but I do not think any detente would last long here for various reasons.


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## radix023 (May 3, 2007)

At times yes. By and large, no. It has been bad of late (there are multiple threads that I *want* to die).

I may have a skewed perspective. Having been online for quite a long time and participated on a lot of forums, this is far from the harshest place I've been. Also as one of four brothers (no sisters) who attended an engineering school with an 8-1 male-female ratio the forms and intensity of debate I'm accustomed to is a bit atypical.


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## Bob Loblaw (Mar 9, 2006)

We need this for AAAC to save time:


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## KenR (Jun 22, 2005)

People! 
People! 
This is not the answer, people. 
No matter how upset we may get...
or how frustrated we may be...
we're not gonna solve our problems out in the street.
It's just the wrong wayto do it.
We have to find a code of conduct...
that we can all agree to live by.
I asked George and Ralph here to sketch out a few ideas...
and I think they've done a terrific job.
If we can all agree to these, we can take a vote...
and I think we can start off in the right direction.
"One--all public disruption and acts of vandalism...
are to cease immediately.
*"Two--all citizens **of Pleasantville...*
*are to treat each other...*
*in a courteous **and pleasant manner."*

*"Courteous and pleasant manner."*
*That's not too bad.*

_Excerpt from the movie "Pleasantville"._


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## 16128 (Feb 8, 2005)

Compared to the old F'd Company, this place is an elderly nun's picnic!


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## radix023 (May 3, 2007)

Bob Loblaw said:


> We need this for AAAC to save time:


Thanks for sharing, that's really funny.


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## vwguy (Jul 23, 2004)

I was wondering about something similar today, do your "exchanges" w/ members carry over into the other forums? Or perhaps a better way to put it is do you hold a grudge when you see a member's post in another forum?

Brian


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

vwguy said:


> I was wondering about something similar today, do your "exchanges" w/ members carry over into the other forums? Or perhaps a better way to put it is do you hold a grudge when you see a member's post in another forum?
> 
> Brian


Only with P-Bomb, because he's Canadian. :icon_smile_big:


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Laxplayer said:


> Only with P-Bomb, because he's Canadian. :icon_smile_big:


Hey, no hate for the P-Bomb!


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## marlinspike (Jun 4, 2007)

SHUT UP, MORONS!


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## TMMKC (Aug 2, 2007)

Yes! All the bickering in recent weeks has gotten tedious and uninteresting. Oh well, I guess some people just like to argue ad nauseum. Again, this is just my opinion. Debate away! It's your right.


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## omairp (Aug 21, 2006)

I thought the interchange was tedious and uninteresting until just a few weeks ago. Name calling is unnecessary, but the debate is what the interchange is all about.


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## TMMKC (Aug 2, 2007)

omairp said:


> Name calling is unnecessary, but the debate is what the interchange is all about.


True...maybe it's just all the name calling and "navel contemplation" that turns me off once a thread gets past two or three pages! I'm all for a good debate. It just seems things have gotten downright mean-spirited and nasty recently. It gets in the way of intelligent conversation.


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

I think I'm responsible for much of the recent harshness on the Interchange during the last several months. When one sees "fashion forum" in a random web search, one assumes (at least partially) a certain demographic: young, liberal, gay friendly etc. It took me way longer than it should have to figure out I was trying to hammer square pegs into round holes, in fact on some topics I still am.

But remarkably, every private discussion I've ever had on this board, even with members with whom I've had the worst public flame fests, has been absolutely civil, even friendly. Go figure.


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## JRR (Feb 11, 2006)

RSS said:


> Lately, I've had more than a few rather heated disagreements here in the Interchange. I guess I just like to argue from time to time ... or perhaps too much of the time. However, via AAAC Private Messages, I've come to realize that several of the participants -- myself included -- feel that we sometimes have a tendency to go bit too far in our on-line attacks of others' points of view ... and even each other.
> 
> So, I ask, are we sometimes too harsh on others and/or other's points of view ... particularly in this forum?
> 
> Thoughts?


No...


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## yachtie (May 11, 2006)

FrankDC said:


> . When one sees "fashion forum" in a random web search, one assumes (at least partially) a certain demographic: young, liberal, gay friendly etc.


Gee, Frank, even us crusty, medieval, right wing, religious conservative idiots like to dress well too. :icon_smile_wink:


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

FrankDC said:


> When one sees "fashion forum" in a random web search, one assumes (at least partially) a certain demographic: young, liberal, gay friendly etc.


Nothing like a goodly bit of stereotyping, right? :icon_smile_wink:


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## Leather man (Mar 11, 2007)

Yes we are, or some of us are. I have posted only a few times on the Interchange but haven't for a while now because of the harsh way some people express themselves. It is not that I cannot give as good as I get, it is that I do not wish to and so I no longer bother posting. 

It may just be me, but I think that if there is a view out there that you are likely to get an "arsey" reply on the Interchange from someone who seems to think they are "God's gift" then a lot of people are just not going to bother posting on the Interchange who otherwise might do.

IMO a discussion is more likely to be fruitful if it doesn't take place in a Bearpit!


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## Kav (Jun 19, 2005)

We all have our passions and causes. The ability to present them in a coherent construct with the hope of sharing ideas or changing views is difficult at best on this most unforgiving of mediums. Sometimes I feel Like Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones when physicaly ill and performing the scene with the sword wielding opponent.


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## 16412 (Apr 1, 2005)

I like the ruff and tumble somewhat part of the time. I have certainly over done it, too. Don't think I need to defend myself in debate, but I do have some strong opinions on some subjects, which I guess I come across to strongly, sometimes. One thing that really erks me are the brainwashed liberals who get their "knowlege" of conservatives from liberal propaganda and prove they don't have a clue what conservatives believe and do. My feelings get hurt here once in awhile, but I get over it, because I like a good debate, and you can learn a lot about the other side from a good debate. Not everthing from the otherside is wrong (don't like the way they sometimes try to implement them). And one guy said we shouldn't be able to own guns, but rely on government to protect us. So, calling 911 one time I hear the government say "We don't care if they beat you up. We don't care if they kill you. Were not going to help you. Hang up". So I wasn't to happy with this person who says we should not be able to protect ourselves. Why the law enforcment said what she said above could have been a new person on the job overwhelmed, but maybe not. 

What people don't sometimes know about me is I find value in everybody. While I can strongly disagree with somebodies veiw points on a number of things the rest of that person is fine if not excellent.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

In a way,Some people are and I'm not mentioning names maybe we should be a bit understanding to others on here.


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Howard said:


> In a way,Some people are and I'm not mentioning names maybe we should be a bit understanding to others on here.


It is okay Howa, we forgive you for being so harsh.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

The inherent anonymity of a cyber exchange allow some individuals, who never had them, to grow a set...even if they are just imaginary!


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## RSS (Dec 30, 2003)

RSS said:


> So, I ask, are we sometimes too harsh on others and/or other's points of view ... particularly in this forum?
> 
> Thoughts?





JRR said:


> No...


Okay ... here goes an attempt at the more kinder, gentler me.

I am a bit confused in that I am not certain what your answer means. I suppose it might have been based on your not having thoughts to share ... or perhaps your having thoughts which you do not wish to share. Of course, either way, not sharing is a valid option.

Now ... on thinking further ... perhaps your answer was a resounding "No" ... in that you believe we are not too harsh ... or, God (see footnote ***) forbid, not nearly harsh enough. Then again ... perhaps it was mock surprise to yet another part of my post not parsed?

As all can see, there are so many, many options. It just goes to show how difficult a correct understanding of intent can be ... particularly here on the Internet.

Why, shucks ... I need Miss Manners for this one too. Judith, my dear, where are you when we need you.

** *God as used in this post is not to be interpreted as being a deity exclusive to the Roman Catholic Church.


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## JRR (Feb 11, 2006)

RSS said:


> Okay ... here goes an attempt at the more kinder, gentler me.
> 
> I am a bit confused in that I am not certain what your answer means. I suppose it might have been based on your not having thoughts to share ... or perhaps your having thoughts which you do not wish to share. Of course, either way, not sharing is a valid option.
> 
> ...


Just giving a succint answer. But to be more long winded, no I don't think anyone is too harsh in the Interchange. Things are pretty tame here. Go check out some of the sports forums, esp College Football for more venom. Or political boards, Ha!

I like the Interchange. Would have quit AAAC a long time ago if not for it. Posters may get riled up, but there is little of the complete stupidity that exists on many boards.

Cheers


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

JRR said:


> Just giving a succint answer. But to be more long winded, no I don't think anyone is too harsh in the Interchange. *Things are pretty tame here. Go check out some of the sports forums, esp College Football for more venom. Or political boards, Ha!*
> 
> I like the Interchange. Would have quit AAAC a long time ago if not for it. Posters may get riled up, but there is little of the complete stupidity that exists on many boards.
> 
> Cheers


I agree. Sports message boards get very nasty, and are full of trolls. I read a few to keep up on new info about my favorite teams, but they can be really annoying. The vulgar language and personal attacks on these boards are so widespread, it makes you wonder if they are being moderated at all. The Interchange can at times get a little nasty, but is very mild compared to other sites on the web.


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## jpeirpont (Mar 16, 2004)

The only real problem with the Interchange is that there is far more arguing than discussion, when the topic I know little about is posted, I learn nothing new about through the back and forth. Well that and the abundance of Internet know it alls.


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

jpeirpont said:


> The only real problem with the Interchange is that there is far more arguing than discussion, when the topic I know little about is posted, I learn nothing new about through the back and forth.


On a men's fashion board it's absurd to expect much information about (or credible discussion of) anything other than men's fashion. I doubt many people go to washingtonpost.com expecting to find fashion tips.


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## TheSaint (Jun 28, 2005)

I think at times, The Interchange can be harsh. Also very funny and entertaining.

My favorite Interchange Threads:

1. Favorite Sandwich Thread

2. I think it was a Hunting or Deer Hunting Thread. One poster told someone else to throw themselves in front of a stampede of Deer. Hilarious!!

3. A few Karl vs GMAC debates


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## jpeirpont (Mar 16, 2004)

FrankDC said:


> On a men's fashion board it's absurd to expect much information about (or credible discussion of) anything other than men's fashion. I doubt many people go to washingtonpost.com expecting to find fashion tips.


I suppose, but I hold the fellows here in a high regard for the most part. I think many of valuable perspectives to offer.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Wayfarer said:


> It is okay Howa, we forgive you for being so harsh.


Thanks.


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## guitone (Mar 20, 2005)

I post in this section infrequently because some members can get ugly fast. I prefer to have a civil debate, if I cannot do that I don't want to be involved. I have been baited at times and I may even have said the first word, but I have stopped that and I only post here when I find a topic that i can post intelligently about and not ask, asking can lead to being called an idiot.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

I was moved from the Clothes/Fashion Section to The Interchange earlier this year but now that I'm in The Interchange everybody seems to be getting on each other's nerves almost all the time on here.


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## radix023 (May 3, 2007)

guitone said:


> I only post here when I find a topic that i can post intelligently about and not ask, asking can lead to being called an idiot.


Best to sit quietly and be thought an idiot rather than open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

And the corrollary:
Never get in an argument with an idiot. Other people may not agree just who the idiot in the argument is.


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## Cool Cal (Jan 19, 2007)

One of the things aboout this whole anonymity thing with the internet means that people can say whatever they want without fear of repurcussions. That's good in a lot of ways but it allows people to stoke the fire.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Cool Cal said:


> One of the things aboout this whole anonymity thing with the internet means that people can say whatever they want without fear of repurcussions. That's good in a lot of ways but it allows people to stoke the fire.


and that's what causes arguements with forums sometimes.

And If I feel I'm getting heated up,there's a log out option right above me and that takes cares of that situation.


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

Howard said:


> I was moved from the Clothes/Fashion Section to The Interchange earlier this year but now that I'm in The Interchange everybody seems to be getting on each other's nerves almost all the time on here.


So, you're not allowed to post in the Fashion Forum? What about the Trad Forum, or Food, Drink and Travel?


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Laxplayer said:


> So, you're not allowed to post in the Fashion Forum? What about the Trad Forum, or Food, Drink and Travel?


I like this forum,It's comfortable,This feels like family for the past 3 years.


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

Howard said:


> I like this forum,It's comfortable,This feels like family for the past 3 years.


I like it also, but I was asking if you are confined to the Interchange, or can you post in the other forums? You said in your previous post that you were moved to the Interchange, and I was just wondering what you meant by that.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Laxplayer said:


> I like it also, but I was asking if you are confined to the Interchange, or can you post in the other forums? You said in your previous post that you were moved to the Interchange, and I was just wondering what you meant by that.


Oh Cause I posted a post on Pathmark in The clothes forum and all of a sudden the next day it was moved to The Interchange so Here I am 7 months later.


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## flylot74 (Jul 26, 2007)

Having my head handed to me on a platter on another forum recently, I think I'll just hide and watch....


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## KenR (Jun 22, 2005)

Howard,

Laxplayer asked if you are *allowed* to post on the other forums within AAAC. The Pathmark thread being moved to the Interchange has nothing to do with his question.


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

The real Howard probably knows that. Troll Howard is just having fun.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

KenR said:


> Howard,
> 
> Laxplayer asked if you are *allowed* to post on the other forums within AAAC. The Pathmark thread being moved to the Interchange has nothing to do with his question.


Yes of course I'm allowed Ken.I just happen to post in this one forum only.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

forsbergacct2000 said:


> The real Howard probably knows that. Troll Howard is just having fun.


so nothing convinces you?


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

I'll admit that you don't seem to be evil or harmful.

It's just that occasionally, like in the poetry thread, what I think is the real you belies the simpleton you act like. In the poetry thread you show some understanding of poetry.

Most of the time, you post ditzy stuff. Possibly, you are trying to be funny. You post enough stuff that shows a lot more depth that makes the ditzy stuff seem contrived.

It may be too late. I suspect that real Howard might be a cool person and someone decent to have around. Ditzy Troll Howard is not really funny any more and while you don't annoy me all that much, you do annoy some other posters quite a bit. You may have done too much of the ditzy trolling for real Howard to be accepted by the others. I cannot speak for them.


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## RJman (Nov 11, 2003)

Why does every thread in this forum end up being about Howard? Do you guys really give him that much power over your imaginations?


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

No

Go ahead and think what you want.


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

RJman said:


> Why does every thread in this forum end up being about Howard? Do you guys really give him that much power over your imaginations?


You could post some poetry instead of complaining about the Interchange.


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

RJman said:


> Why does every thread in this forum end up being about Howard? Do you guys really give him that much power over your imaginations?


That is the powah
That is Howa


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## RJman (Nov 11, 2003)

Laxplayer said:


> You could post some poetry instead of complaining about the Interchange.


I did, dipshit.


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## Laxplayer (Apr 26, 2006)

RJman said:


> I did, dipshit.


Funny that you would post this in a thread entitled, Are We Too Harsh in the Interchange? Now head back to the Fashion Forum and give the FNB boys something else to put in the inane thread. :icon_smile:


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## RJman (Nov 11, 2003)

Laxplayer said:


> Funny that you would post this in a thread entitled, Are We Too Harsh in the Interchange? Now head back to the Fashion Forum and give the FNB boys something else to put in the inane thread. :icon_smile:


I was being ironic. Say hi to Film and his buddies for me.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

RJman said:


> Why does every thread in this forum end up being about Howard? Do you guys really give him that much power over your imaginations?


That's what I want to know,almost every thread is about me.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

forsbergacct2000 said:


> I'll admit that you don't seem to be evil or harmful.
> 
> It's just that occasionally, like in the poetry thread, what I think is the real you belies the simpleton you act like. In the poetry thread you show some understanding of poetry.
> 
> ...


How is that I annoy them,Tell me that.


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

I'm able to read your posts and shrug. The others have posted plenty about how you annoy them.


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## Wayfarer (Mar 19, 2006)

Howard said:


> That's what I want to know,almost every thread is about me.


Now Howa, the only thread "about" you is the one you started about Pathmart.


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