# Age differences in relationships



## 10gallonhat (Dec 13, 2009)

I've been watching every episode of Gossip Girl lately (it's a really good show, lol) and I noticed there are a lot of relationships with huge age differences. It struck me as odd but it seems perfectly natural in the show, which is supposed to be pretty realistic. For example, the 19 year old college freshman is dating a 30 year old teacher. The same girl had a 20ish year old friend with benefits when she was 16. Her best friend had a one night stand with a 35 year old guy when she was 18, and her step-sister had a 25 year old boyfriend when she was 16. Everyone (including the characters' parents) seemed to think everything was perfectly natural.

Am I the only one who thinks it's weird having such a huge age difference? Am I being close-minded? When I was 21 I had a friend (just a friend) who was 17, and my mom thought it was weird. Do most people not really care about this stuff anymore, or do rich people live by different rules, or what?


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## phyrpowr (Aug 30, 2009)

Screenwriters and entertainment types live in a slightly different world than we do, and also need to create outsized situations. Still, "daddy" trading the credit card/spotlight/status for "baby's" tight body is not new news anywhere: it just doesn't happen as much as it appears.


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## jean-paul sartorial (Jul 28, 2010)

i agree with phyrpower, but also the age difference ceases to matter as much as you get older. The maturity difference between 21 and 17 is vastly greater than say, 45 and 35. The latter situation would perhaps be regarded as a little unusual but no one would really worry about it too much. At 35, you've lived on your own, held a professional job, been in a bunch of different relationships, and can generally look out for yourself and make your own decisions.


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## phyrpowr (Aug 30, 2009)

jean-paul sartorial said:


> i agree with phyrpower, but also the age difference ceases to matter as much as you get older. The maturity difference between 21 and 17 is vastly greater than say, 45 and 35. The latter situation would perhaps be regarded as a little unusual but no one would really worry about it too much. At 35, you've lived on your own, held a professional job, been in a bunch of different relationships, and can generally look out for yourself and make your own decisions.


True (I'm 60). There is a certain amount of growing up to do, experiences to be had for the first time with peers. I could talk to and relate to (some) even a 35 year old woman, but one in her 20s, I'd probably laugh at inadvertently, and that's no way to treat some one who's trying


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## beherethen (Jun 6, 2009)

I like my women and my Scotch the same way (12 years old ). Seriously except for a few women with daddy hangups, I think most younger women date older guys do so because they need a green card or money. There is nothing wrong with that as you do what you gotta do, but if your of a certain age and she says, "Oh, I always think of you as my around age-your so youthful", tell her she doesn't need to try so hard. 

BTW, I know you look so much younger than anyone else your age. It's a wonder they don't card you anymore. You still think young and 60 is the new 40. Water is wet and rocks are hard, and your what ever age you are. Find someone your own age and if she's really hot, ask if she has a younger sister who's into older guys for me. I really do still look 30. :icon_smile:


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Age doesn't really matter to me just as long as it's not too young and not too old.


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## PatentLawyerNYC (Sep 21, 2007)

I am seven years juinior to my wife and it works for us.


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

Age differences do not really matter as much as some would like to think that they do. Other considerations are far more relevant to the success of a relationship. However, while there is a less than two year age difference between my wife and I, she sure seems to be aging much more attractively and gracefully than me!


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## Earl of Ormonde (Sep 5, 2008)

When I was 22 I had a sex-mad 42 year old Colombian girlfriend in London who had 2 daughters (in Colombia) aged 18 and 16.
So as far as I'm concerned age makes no difference whatsoever. And seeing the photos of her daughters I was still more
interested in her.


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## mrkleen (Sep 21, 2007)

Depends on what age the people are and more importantly, what level of relationship you are looking for.

I am in my late 30s and have never dated a women over 29 in my life. At the same time, I am still single and the few times I got close - the age difference was a major reason things never went to the next level.

So if you are 40 and take care of yourself and want to date a 25 year old....GO FOR IT. Just dont expect her to marry you anytime soon.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

I don't mind dating someone older than me,I'm 36 but I don't look it,the women probably will think that I'm a kid but since I shave every day I don't look older anymore,I keep a clean complexion.


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## camorristi (May 9, 2010)

I think a woman's age matters more than a man's age; we all know unlike men, women don't come with a lifetime warranty :icon_smile_big: of all parts. But that aside, the main factor would be maturity of the mind and soul, which is very different between a girl who's 19 and a guy who's 25. I consider my self a bit more mature than my age so at 23 I'm dating a girl who's 27 (and if I'm lucky I might have a chance with her twin sister :icon_smile_big, but again when I was 18 I dated a girl who was 22. I don't see myself dating an older woman when I'm 35 though.


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## camorristi (May 9, 2010)

Earl of Ormonde said:


> When I was 22 I had a sex-mad 42 year old Colombian girlfriend in London who had 2 daughters (in Colombia) aged 18 and 16.
> So as far as I'm concerned age makes no difference whatsoever. And seeing the photos of her daughters I was still more
> interested in her.


This takes us back to my other thread about women on this forum. I think women of certain ethnicities age more gracefully than others.

Those Colombian women have to be in their 50's at least:


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

camorristi said:


> This takes us back to my other thread about women on this forum. I think women of certain ethnicities age more gracefully than others.
> 
> Those Colombian women have to be in their 50's at least:


They hide their gray pretty good,both of them might be in their mid 50's.


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## Saltydog (Nov 3, 2007)

camorristi said:


> I think a woman's age matters more than a man's age; we all know unlike men, women don't come with a lifetime warranty


You're 23 and you think you've got a lifetime warranty? So did I. Wahahahahaha.....you have much to learn grasshopper. Btw--i've been married to a women 8 years my senior for 38 years and it's been great. People still think she's younger than me.


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## camorristi (May 9, 2010)

Howard said:


> They hide their gray pretty good,both of them might be in their mid 50's.


I think I would not date a woman who's over 37, last year I dated a 35 yo elementary school teacher, didn't go very well lol. I think my most favorite thing in this world after clothes and cars is women :icon_smile_wink:.


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## camorristi (May 9, 2010)

Saltydog said:


> You're 23 and you think you've got a* lifetime warranty*? So did I. Wahahahahaha.....you have much to learn grasshopper. Btw--i've been married to a women 8 years my senior for 38 years and it's been great. People still think she's younger than me.


Look at Hugh Hefner, he's almost a 100 yo and dates girls younger than his grand kids! Now, you wouldn't say the same about a woman would you?! I don't approve of what he's doing, but just to prove my point.


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## blairrob (Oct 30, 2010)

camorristi said:


> I think I would not date a woman who's over 37, last year I dated a 35 yo elementary school teacher, didn't go very well lol. I think my most favorite thing in this world after clothes and cars is women :icon_smile_wink:.


Wait, you like clothes more than women????

When I was 37/38 I was dating a 6' model who was 21. While my friends were falling at my feet in supplication, the relationship became more trouble than it was worth, mostly in terms of our friends and my family, as well as some of the generational issues that arise in these partnerships. Sometimes I would feel proud when someone would "Sir, would your daughter...", and sometimes it was just bloody annoying.

On the other hand, at 41 I dated a woman (my massage therapist) for a couple of months who was 9 years my senior, albeit rather well kept for her age. Best, um, _kisser_, I've *ever* come across. I _highly_ recommend the experience.


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## camorristi (May 9, 2010)

blairrob said:


> Wait, you like clothes more than women????
> 
> When I was 37/38 I was dating a 6' model who was 21. While my friends were falling at my feet in supplication, the relationship became more trouble than it was worth, mostly in terms of our friends and my family, as well as some of the generational issues that arise in these partnerships. Sometimes I would feel proud when someone would "Sir, would your daughter...", and sometimes it was just bloody annoying.
> 
> On the other hand, at 41 I dated a woman (my massage therapist) for a couple of months who was 9 years my senior, albeit rather well kept for her age. Best, um, _kisser_, I've *ever* come across. I _highly_ recommend the experience.


I don't care how this might sound, but given the choice of having sex with Christina Hendricks or free bespoke shoes made by G&G, I'll take the shoes without even thinking about it.

I can't say people thought my older date was my mother lol, but I did get a lot "you know what she really wants right?". People say whatever they're programmed to say.

This:

Not that:


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## Pentheos (Jun 30, 2008)

Ugly shoes or a chunky, fake woman...it's a lose–lose if you ask me.


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## camorristi (May 9, 2010)

Since there's a trend of choosing the lesser of two evils, you should be happy, no? :icon_smile_wink: (I know how much you hate the "fat" CH, but at least you can take the shoes and sell 'em :icon_smile_big


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## Saltydog (Nov 3, 2007)

camorristi said:


> Look at Hugh Hefner, he's almost a 100 yo and dates girls younger than his grand kids! Now, you wouldn't say the same about a woman would you?! I don't approve of what he's doing, but just to prove my point.


Yeah...with his money and lifestyle you can always get chicks. It sure isn't his looks they're after. Probably mainlines Viagra or has a platnium implant. He's certainly no stranger to plastic surgery--looks embalmed to me. Some women will go for a corpse if the money is there.


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## harryi (Nov 1, 2010)

Pentheos said:


> Ugly shoes or a chunky, fake woman...it's a lose-lose if you ask me.


yep,ugly look for the whole


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## camorristi (May 9, 2010)

Saltydog said:


> Yeah...with his money and lifestyle you can always get chicks. It sure isn't his looks they're after. Probably mainlines Viagra or has a platnium implant. He's certainly no stranger to plastic surgery--looks embalmed to me. Some women will go for a corpse if the money is there.


Apparently, the playboy bunnies are necrophiliacs :crazy:!


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

Saltydog said:


> Yeah...with his money and lifestyle you can always get chicks. It sure isn't his looks they're after. Probably mainlines Viagra or has a platnium implant. He's certainly no stranger to plastic surgery--looks embalmed to me. Some women will go for a corpse if the money is there.


LOL. Saltydog: Are you saying that there may still be hope for us(!)?


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

camorristi said:


> Look at Hugh Hefner, he's almost a 100 yo and dates girls younger than his grand kids! Now, you wouldn't say the same about a woman would you?! I don't approve of what he's doing, but just to prove my point.


He's 83


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

Would you guys date a woman younger than you let's say early-mid 20's?


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

Howard said:


> Would you guys date a woman younger than you let's say early-mid 20's?


"Date??"

No.


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## blue suede shoes (Mar 22, 2010)

Howard said:


> Would you guys date a woman younger than you let's say early-mid 20's?


Sure, but only if she were mentally mature. Of course trying to find one who is mentally mature is like trying to find a virgin. By the way, I'm 57.


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## Saltydog (Nov 3, 2007)

eagle2250 said:


> LOL. Saltydog: Are you saying that there may still be hope for us(!)?


Only if we have lots and lots of money! Money--with apologies to Henry Kissinger----is the ultimate aphrodisiac.


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## sowilson (Jul 27, 2009)

Howard said:


> Would you guys date a woman younger than you let's say early-mid 20's?


If by "dating" you mean going out for horizontal refreshments then yes, otherwise no.


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## camorristi (May 9, 2010)

Howard said:


> Would you guys date a woman younger than you let's say early-mid 20's?


In two words: Hell, no!

Most women are quite *insecure *and *immature *around this age for some reason, or at least the ones I've dated are.


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## camorristi (May 9, 2010)

WouldaShoulda said:


> "Date??"
> 
> No.


What's the other option. make a movie?! :idea:


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## PatentLawyerNYC (Sep 21, 2007)

blairrob said:


> Wait, you like clothes more than women????
> 
> When I was 37/38 I was dating a 6' model who was 21. While my friends were falling at my feet in supplication, the relationship became more trouble than it was worth, mostly in terms of our friends and my family, as well as some of the generational issues that arise in these partnerships. Sometimes I would feel proud when someone would "Sir, would your daughter...", and sometimes it was just bloody annoying.
> 
> On the other hand, at 41 I dated a woman (my massage therapist) for a couple of months who was 9 years my senior, albeit rather well kept for her age. Best, um, _kisser_, I've *ever* come across. I _highly_ recommend the experience.


You know that song "Hey Nineteen" by Steely Dan?


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## RedBluff (Dec 22, 2009)

It's way more the norm here in California.
I'm 46 and constantly getting hit on girls in their early 30's and mid 20's.
Alot of women have daddy complexes and or are looking for a shuga-daddy.

I also would add that it also goes both ways.
I dig older women. Their sense of style and grace is usually so much more refined.
There's nothing much better than a well kept divorced trophy wife.


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## camorristi (May 9, 2010)

RedBluff said:


> I dig older women. Their sense of style and grace is usually so much more refined.
> There's nothing much better than a well kept divorced trophy wife.


I concur :cool2:, it all comes down to class.


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## ZachGranstrom (Mar 11, 2010)

Howard said:


> Would you guys date a woman younger than you let's say early-mid 20's?


Sure, but I'm 19.


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## Baldwin (Jun 29, 2010)

blue suede shoes said:


> Sure, but only if she were mentally mature. Of course trying to find one who is mentally mature is like trying to find a virgin. By the way, I'm 57.


You're telling me. The girls on my campus by and large are creatures without direction hoping to shack up with/marry a future type-A lawyer or broker.

I figure that they'll wise up after a particularly nasty breakup or divorce.


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## jean-paul sartorial (Jul 28, 2010)

No need to be so cynical. Most men guys in college are immature as well. I know I was, despite thinking I knew it all at the time.

There are non-shallow, relatively mature women under 25 out there. Not as mature as they will be later in life, but then likely neither are you if you are the same age. You can grow together, that's part of the fun.


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## blairrob (Oct 30, 2010)

PatentLawyerNYC said:


> You know that song "Hey Nineteen" by Steely Dan?


the story you are about to see is true; the names have been changed to protect the innocent


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

blue suede shoes said:


> Sure, but only if she were mentally mature. Of course trying to find one who is mentally mature is like trying to find a virgin. By the way, I'm 57.


You wouldn't want to *rob the cradle * so they say.


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## camorristi (May 9, 2010)

Wait, I take that back :icon_smile_big:. I met a stunning 20-something brunette with killer eyes at the bar last night and she's a keeper!


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## Jovan (Mar 7, 2006)

jean-paul sartorial said:


> No need to be so cynical. Most men guys in college are immature as well. I know I was, despite thinking I knew it all at the time.
> 
> There are non-shallow, relatively mature women under 25 out there. Not as mature as they will be later in life, but then likely neither are you if you are the same age. You can grow together, that's part of the fun.


 Quoted for truth.


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## camorristi (May 9, 2010)

jean-paul sartorial said:


> *There are non-shallow, relatively mature women under 25 out there*. Not as mature as they will be later in life, but then likely neither are you if you are the same age. You can grow together, that's part of the fun.


I consider myself a dedicated womanizer lol but I can't say I've met any of those, if they do exist that is.


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## 10gallonhat (Dec 13, 2009)

I'm 23 and all of the girls I date are 18-23, I've been on dates with probably hundreds of girls and I can't say I've met ONE who wasn't immature or still in the drama-loving phase (hopefully it is a phase? is it?). But at the same time I don't consider myself the most mature person, and I cringe when some of my older friends talk about things like marriage and moving in together and kids. Maybe if I met a girl who was a little more mature, I wouldn't find the idea of getting serious with her so repulsive. But that's why I can't really see myself dating any younger than 18 because if college girls are immature already, how bad would younger girls be?


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## jean-paul sartorial (Jul 28, 2010)

If every woman falls far short of acceptable and you think it's their job to somehow wow you enough that you'll stop playing the field, it doesn't speak much for your maturity either. If you're a self-described "womanizer" or you shudder at the thought of marriage or cohabitation then what sort of mature woman is going to hang out with you?

I'm just saying, there's always a reason why you end up dating who you do. Think about where you go, how you pick women up, how you act around them, and most importantly what you really want. My guess is neither of you really want mature women nor do you act in ways that would attract them.

Which is fine. There's nothing wrong with enjoying the single life. Go out and have some fun. You can't really fake maturity anyway. But you'll meet more mature women when you are ready to be a little more serious and your attitudes and actions reflect that.


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

a!!!!1 said:


> I've been watching every episode of Gossip Girl lately (it's a really good show, lol) and I noticed there are a lot of relationships with huge age differences. It struck me as odd but it seems perfectly natural in the show, which is supposed to be pretty realistic. For example, the 19 year old college freshman is dating a 30 year old teacher. The same girl had a 20ish year old friend with benefits when she was 16. Her best friend had a one night stand with a 35 year old guy when she was 18, and her step-sister had a 25 year old boyfriend when she was 16. Everyone (including the characters' parents) seemed to think everything was perfectly natural.
> 
> Am I the only one who thinks it's weird having such a huge age difference? Am I being close-minded? When I was 21 I had a friend (just a friend) who was 17, and my mom thought it was weird. Do most people not really care about this stuff anymore, or do rich people live by different rules, or what?


I don't think much of a couple's age or gender differences. Someone mentioned Hey Nineteen, but Harold and Maude is another possibility, or even Chris and Don if you've seen the film. That was a 48-16 pairing that lasted almost 35 years until Isherwood's death.


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## 10gallonhat (Dec 13, 2009)

jean-paul sartorial said:


> If every woman falls far short of acceptable and you think it's their job to somehow wow you enough that you'll stop playing the field, it doesn't speak much for your maturity either. If you're a self-described "womanizer" or you shudder at the thought of marriage or cohabitation then what sort of mature woman is going to hang out with you?
> 
> I'm just saying, there's always a reason why you end up dating who you do. Think about where you go, how you pick women up, how you act around them, and most importantly what you really want. My guess is neither of you really want mature women nor do you act in ways that would attract them.
> 
> Which is fine. There's nothing wrong with enjoying the single life. Go out and have some fun. You can't really fake maturity anyway. But you'll meet more mature women when you are ready to be a little more serious and your attitudes and actions reflect that.


I think you misunderstand what I mean by "maturity." Marriage has nothing to do with maturity, as immature people get married and have kids all the time. Maturity relates to not starting drama, not playing games, being able to relate to people and understand them better, etc. And I haven't met any girls who are "mature," in that sense.

And yeah you're right, all of the girls I've dated thus far have "fallen short of acceptable." I'd rather stay single than settle (and let's be serious, most people do end up settling rather than playing the field enough to find the right person). You make it sound like a negative thing but why would you want a woman who DOESN'T "wow" you? The "wow"ing can be as simple as being able to provide good conversation, but whatever it is, you have to have standards.

Anyway we're getting off topic so that's as far as I'd like to go with that. When I started the thread I wasn't really thinking that far into it, lol, I just saw it on TV and thought it was weird and wanted to see what everyone else thought, that's it.


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## 10gallonhat (Dec 13, 2009)

FrankDC said:


> I don't think much of a couple's age or gender differences. Someone mentioned Hey Nineteen, but Harold and Maude is another possibility, or even Chris and Don if you've seen the film. That was a 48-16 pairing that lasted almost 35 years until Isherwood's death.


See that just sounds weird to me. 48-16? I can't even imagine a 28-16. Regardless of maturity levels, am I the only one who thinks the numbers alone are just plain weird?


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## JDC (Dec 2, 2006)

a!!!!1 said:


> See that just sounds weird to me. 48-16? I can't even imagine a 28-16. Regardless of maturity levels, am I the only one who thinks the numbers alone are just plain weird?


 That's the point I was trying to make. They were happily together for 34 years, what difference does it make how it sounds to you or me?


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## 10gallonhat (Dec 13, 2009)

FrankDC said:


> That's the point I was trying to make. They were happily together for 34 years, what difference does it make how it sounds to you or me?


That's true. Interesting.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

camorristi said:


> Wait, I take that back :icon_smile_big:. I met a stunning 20-something brunette with killer eyes at the bar last night and she's a keeper!


Did you bed her?


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

camorristi said:


> What's the other option. make a movie?! :idea:


I was thinking "bang!!"


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

I would date this woman with the brown hair,she is super "hot" HOLY CRAP!!! ^


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## WouldaShoulda (Aug 5, 2009)

Howard said:


> I would date this woman with the brown hair,she is super "hot" HOLY CRAP!!! ^


Nice rose buds!!


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## eagle2250 (Mar 24, 2006)

^^
LOL. But do you think Howard's post would have been more effective and less confusing(!) if he had featured a slide show that didn't include several shots of men in their underwear and socks? Indeed, as he says, the gal is hot...the guys, not so much!


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## Pentheos (Jun 30, 2008)

a!!!!1 said:


> But that's why I can't really see myself dating any younger than 18 because if college girls are immature already, how bad would younger girls be?


Illegal.


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## turban1 (May 29, 2008)

*wisdom*

someone told me that one of the unexpected problems of courting a woman much younger than one's self is determining what sort of wine goes with peanut butter.


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## Padme (Aug 18, 2009)

turban1 said:


> someone told me that one of the unexpected problems of courting a woman much younger than one's self is determining what sort of wine goes with peanut butter.


Maybe italian Moscato Dolce.


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

eagle2250 said:


> ^^
> LOL. But do you think Howard's post would have been more effective and less confusing(!) if he had featured a slide show that didn't include several shots of men in their underwear and socks? Indeed, as he says, the gal is hot...the guys, not so much!


No Eagle I was referring to the woman posing in her underwear,I'm not bi-sexual I'm all man and I love women,case closed.


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## DukeGrad (Dec 28, 2003)

*Missed this one*

Gentlemen

God sorry I missed this one. I see no issue with a young wife. Since been on this forum. I have met a married 3 young ladies.
My 6th wife now is a lot younger than me. She is a 23 yo, striking redhead. Again another lawyer.
She did modelling for Victoria secret while going through law school.
Again, I have no concerns about this!

Nice day


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## PatentLawyerNYC (Sep 21, 2007)

DukeGrad said:


> Gentlemen
> 
> God sorry I missed this one. I see no issue with a young wife. Since been on this forum. I have met a married 3 young ladies.
> My 6th wife now is a lot younger than me. She is a 23 yo, striking redhead. Again another lawyer.
> ...


Pictures or it didn't happen. 23 year-old-lawyers are *very* rare, particularly those who were Victoria Secret models. Is it April 1?


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## catside (Oct 7, 2010)

DukeGrad said:


> Gentlemen
> 
> God sorry I missed this one. I see no issue with a young wife. Since been on this forum. I have met a married 3 young ladies.
> My 6th wife now is a lot younger than me. She is a 23 yo, striking redhead. Again another lawyer.
> ...


 Dunno, if you had to marry six times, perhaps this young wife thing is not really working for you!

Just kidding)


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## Cruiser (Jul 21, 2006)

When I was 18 my girlfriend was 15. It didn't seem unusual when I was 17, but it seemed a little awkward after I turned 18; and it got even worse after I joined the service and turned 19 before she turned 16. She seemed like a little kid and my buddies laughed at me, so I ended the relationship. 

I ran into her not long ago. She is now a 58 year old grandmother and somehow our ages didn't seem to differ much. It's funny how time alters perception. :icon_smile_big:

Cruiser


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## Howard (Dec 7, 2004)

PatentLawyerNYC said:


> Pictures or it didn't happen. 23 year-old-lawyers are *very* rare, particularly those who were Victoria Secret models. Is it April 1?


I think so.


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