# Flirting



## Mr. Di Liberti (Jan 24, 2006)

Do you? Yes

How much? Every given chance

Any good at it? Very

With or without intent? Without

Polished technique or natural? Both

Do you use come-on Lines? No

If so, what your favorite? N/A

Anthony

Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage ~ Theodore Roosevelt


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## Coolidge24 (Mar 21, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Mr. Di Liberti_
> 
> Do you? Yes
> 
> ...


One question before I respond, Anthony. If you're flirting without intent to do so, how do you know it's flirting? Maybe they're just flirting with you?

Anyway, on point:

Do you? No, I deliberately don't

How much? Never

Are you good at it? n/a

With or without intent? With intent not to

Polished technique? I pretend not to notice them at all, instead focusing on the conversation I usually am having (or in some bars, the beirut game) with the guys. What often happens is that paying no attention appears to incite them to come over and visit. I love it.

Do you use come-on lines? Nope

What is your favorite? n/a

I think it works like reverse psychology. If you pay no attention but still appear to be enjoying yourself (and therefore not a soulless curmudgeon) they are automatically more interested.

The only hovering busybodies who lean over girls in chairs at bars and have constant stupid jokes that I know who succeed at flirting this way are people who have other things going for them, like tons of money, tons of good looks, and possible hints of insanity or time served. And even some of those who have succeeded with female friends of mine haven't lasted.

Just one person's opinion of course. We do what works for us. The totally oblivious to their presence but still having a great time approach works best for me, and causes a lot less pressure for me as well.


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## Mr. Di Liberti (Jan 24, 2006)

By Intent I mean; When flirting is it with the intention of taking further.

Anthony

Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage ~ Theodore Roosevelt


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## The Gabba Goul (Feb 11, 2005)

Do you? Yes

How much? whenever I feel like it...

Any good at it? I'd like to think so...

With or without intent? it depends...

Polished technique or natural? Little of both...

Do you use come-on Lines? Yes

If so, what your favorite? "You like that??? That's cashmere..."[8D]

*****
[image]https://radio.weblogs.com/0119318/Screenshots/rose.jpg[/image]"See...What I'm gonna do is wear a shirt only once, and then give it right away to the laundry...eh?
A new shirt every day!!!"​


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## ChubbyTiger (Mar 10, 2005)

Do you? Yes, with ladies who seem to enjoy it and do not take it too seriously. And, now, not in front of my wife, of course. 

How much? Every given chance

Any good at it? Decent

With or without intent? Definately without. Unless, obviously, the target is my wife.

Polished technique or natural? Natural

Do you use come-on Lines? No

Perhaps oddly, I have always been mostly incapable of flirting with women I am very interested in and/or who are extremely attractive.

Oh well, it's all irrelevant now. 

CT


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## Albert (Feb 15, 2006)

Do you? _No, unfortunately completely incapable_

How much? _See above. Sometimes I try._

Any good at it? _As good as the cookie monster would be_

With or without intent? _Both_

Polished technique or natural? _It's natural, I guess_

Do you use come-on Lines? _Any attempt so far collapsed at eye contact_

If so, what your favorite? _N/A_


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## Mr. Di Liberti (Jan 24, 2006)

In Britain and North America, it seems we have become so worried about offending someone or being misunderstood that quite a few, many in fact are affraid to flirt. What many don't understand, flirtation is or can be playful and harmless. It's also part of our nature.

Playful flirting can be anything from an exchange of looks across the bar to light conversation. It can make us feel better about ourselves and others while expanding our social circle.

Anthony

Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage ~ Theodore Roosevelt


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## Albert (Feb 15, 2006)

> quote:_Originally posted by Mr. Di Liberti_
> 
> In Britain and North America, it seems we have become so worried about offending someone or being misunderstood that quite a few, many in fact are affraid to flirt.


I just don't like being butchered.


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## Coolidge24 (Mar 21, 2005)

I should add that, my above approach notwithstanding, I tend not to run into anyone I'd really be interested in when I'm out in town. I have very high standards, not so much for looks but more for values, and general demeanor. I have very little respect for a lot of the ladies I see out...frankly quite a few of them are pretty classless, regardless of background.


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## KenR (Jun 22, 2005)

I only flirt with women I know.


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

I don't flirt much. My social skills are so-so and I'm still obese. 

It probably would not be all that welcome.

I would like to do it more - - -


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## Mr. Di Liberti (Jan 24, 2006)

> quote:_Originally posted by forsbergacct2000_
> 
> I don't flirt much. My social skills are so-so and I'm still obese.
> 
> ...


Don't sell yourself short, you might be surprised.

Ever started a conversation with a member of the opposite sex (you didn't know) in the market?

That could be considered flirting it's simplest form.

There are a number of good books on hte subject of flirting, as well as some very good information on the net.

Like learning how to dress well or cook or .... there's nothing wrong with reading the how to's.

Anthony

Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage ~ Theodore Roosevelt


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## KenR (Jun 22, 2005)

You've lost a goodly amount of weight so far and your going to lose more. Then the women will sit up and take notice of your flirting. Of course, whether you take advantage of it is your business.....


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## Acct2000 (Sep 24, 2005)

I'm not good at catching the signals. 

I spent 7 years as the keyboard player in one of the hottest bands in the area, and I did not even capitalize well on that. (Maybe I should have worn jackets and ties on stage. LOL)

When I lose weight, maybe I'll have more confidence. That is probably the real issue.

Thank you for your concern and advise!


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## mgnov (Jan 11, 2006)

Do you? Frankly, sir, I'm offended at your presumption!

How much? Ever since my first humiliating failure, never.

Any good at it? What do you think.

With or without intent? Why would I intentionally humiliate myself?

Polished technique or natural? Would stuttering be considered natural?

Do you use come-on Lines? Er...yes.

If so, what's your favorite? "Help me, I can't breathe."


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## Mr. Knightly (Sep 1, 2005)

I probably flirt several times a day with any female between the ages of 18 and 118. I think Coolidge was talking more about "hitting on" women, which I would define as much more aggressive. Flirting is subtle, the only way I can define it is that it's a way of talking to a woman that you would never try with a guy.

The technique: 
constant smile (not phony, the kind that shows you're really having a blast talking to them) 

clever teasing (nothing too personal, ironic compliments work well)

up front comliments (actually, I do this while I'm flirting but I wouldn't consider it to be flirting per se. I try and give genuine compliments as often as possible. People don't receive them very often and they're always appreciated.)

touching (offering a girl my arm is generally considered to be a humerous gesture from someone as young as me, so it adds to the lightness that is desireable when flirting. In any event, the touching should not be even remotely sexual.)

Also, confidence should be worn lightly. The guys that Coolidge described, leaning over girls at a bar, might be described as cocky. Cockiness often comes across as a lack of confidence. Even if such confidence is real, it is only acting to draw attention to the guy. It is far better to be confident enough to almost ignore yourself and focus your energy on showing a woman that you're enjoying talking to her.

A litmus test for whether or not you're flirting too intensely: if you found out that the woman you're flirting with had a boyfriend or husband, you should feel as though you're not out of line and you should not regret any of the time spent. Flirting should be enjoyable for its own sake and its sexual nature should be very subtle.

Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man.


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## Coolidge24 (Mar 21, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Mr. Knightly_
> 
> I probably flirt several times a day with any female between the ages of 18 and 118. I think Coolidge was talking more about "hitting on" women, which I would define as much more aggressive. Flirting is subtle, the only way I can define it is that it's a way of talking to a woman that you would never try with a guy.
> 
> ...


I agree with you and stand enlightened. One might argue, then, that very little true flirting goes on in bars. And also, that what I do, when they do come over after the ignoring procedure, is flirting, that indeed, I do it almost constantly with women, by your definition.  Cheers, sir!


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## 16128 (Feb 8, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Mr. Knightly_
> 
> I probably flirt several times a day with any female between the ages of 18 and 118. I think Coolidge was talking more about "hitting on" women, which I would define as much more aggressive. Flirting is subtle, the only way I can define it is that it's a way of talking to a woman that you would never try with a guy.
> 
> ...


Chiming in, all of the points you've made are very good. A successful bit of flirting sends all parties away with a spring in the step and should be differentiated from "hitting on" someone or a hardcore pickup attempt.

And women all see through stock pick-up lines, even if they're funny. A sincere compliment is best (wouldn't you also like to hear something nice about yourself?)


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## Patrick06790 (Apr 10, 2005)

Do you - I have.

How much - Not much.

Any good - No.

With or w/o intent? Don't understand the question

Polished technique or natural - More like idiot savant - or is that Tourette's?

Come-on lines - Certainly. I stand in front of the bathroom mirror for hours on end, practicing combining clever lines with different facial expressions and wigs. It beats watching hockey.

Favorite - Tried this in another thread and got bupkis but the old Groucho line is good - "Are you married? Are you rich? Answer the second question first."

Is favorite line successful - Women don't like snappy repartee, even when I'm not stealing from Groucho. They seem to prefer the inarticulate fellow with a thousand dollar bill stapled to his forehead.

The modern American female is a complete mystery to me - a mystery I am increasingly uninterested in solving.


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## Mr. Di Liberti (Jan 24, 2006)

Mr. Knightly,

Thank you, thats a perfect example of light-hearted flirting.

Anthony

Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage ~ Theodore Roosevelt


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## Mr. Di Liberti (Jan 24, 2006)

_Do you use come-on Lines?_; Buy that, I didn't mean a pick up line, rather a phrase which invokes a response.

And in the truth, there is *1 Word* I've used for about 15 years to start a conversation with the girl/lady teller at the bank, checker at the market, clerk at the store, bartender etc. it works 90% of the time.

Most people ask "How are You" rather then saying "Hello", and most people respond "fine" or "Good" or whatever, because the person asking is being polite, not inquiring as to our well being.

The dialog starts some thing like this;

"How are you"
"Terrible"
"whats wrong?"
"nothing"
"you said you where terrible"
With a smile "Oh I am"...

It's meant as a way to start a conversation.

Anthony

Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage ~ Theodore Roosevelt


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## guitone (Mar 20, 2005)

My daughter tells me that young ladies flirt with me when we are out together (in shops usually). The ones that work there I am sure are only doing their jobs and being nice, the ones I know are flirting I try to run from....A good friend just started dating a young woman, 20 years or so younger than he is...for me, well I am not sure I have the energy, I am a stay at home kind of guy and have trouble keeping up with my very busy 50 ish lasy friend..and did I mention she looks maybe 40[}]..Yes, I am lucky and don't want to muddy up the waters.

guit


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## globetrotter (Dec 30, 2004)

I do not, I was never very good at it when I was single, and I don't even try now.


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## Old Brompton (Jan 15, 2006)

*Do you?* Yes
*How much?* Often
*Any good at it?* 8/10
*With or without intent?* With (95% of the time)
*Polished technique or natural?* Natural
*Do you use come-on Lines? * No, not really. I generally start with a compliment on her clothing or appearance. A woman appreciates it when a man acknowledges her beauty or good taste. The thing to remember is, *women need an audience*.  I'm pleased to report, however, that it's often the women (especially the older women, for some reason) who start flirting with _me_. 
*If so, what your favorite?* N/A


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## Chuck Franke (Aug 8, 2003)

LOL.... Angel is a great flirtation detector. When she was about 2, before I met Jill, she really did not like to have 'another woman' try to horn in on her daddy time and would say subtle things like "this is my daddy, go get your own daddy".

LOL, thank God she and Jill bonded so fast.... Now she protects Jill's turf like a little lioness.

www.carlofranco.com
Seven Fold Ties
Handmade in Italy


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## Jill (Sep 11, 2003)

> quote:_Originally posted by Mr. Knightly_
> 
> I probably flirt several times a day with any female between the ages of 18 and 118.


I love this! I love it when I see a handsome young man flattering an older woman (and NO, I'm not referring to myself). The guy may have ulterior motives, but it works. I always think, "Ahh. That is so sweet". He could be putting all his energy and attention into these cute young things over there, but instead he's making Grandma Mabel feel like the belle of the ball for the first time in a long time. The result, of course, is that those hot young things over there are all saying "ahhhhh. That is so sweet" while thinking, "This is a guy I could take home to Mama and Gram." It's just so adorable when he walks past the drooling prospects and asks a blushing Aunt Bernie for the first dance.

Then when the moms and grans have turned in for the evening, he's left with all the little dolls who've been waiting all night for their turns!

Of course, it's just as charming to see him drop his briefcase to run over and get the door for old Mrs. Epstein from upstairs.


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## Srynerson (Aug 26, 2005)

_Do you?_ Against my better judgment, yes.

_How much?_ I try to avoid it, so rarely.

_Any good at it?_ No, I come across as a fool.

_With or without intent?_ Yes, of course, otherwise why waste the time/effort?

_Polished technique or natural?_ Neither -- disasterous.

_Do you use come-on Lines?_ No

_If so, what your favorite?_ N/A


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