# Obscene Chino Bulge



## Brownshoe (Mar 1, 2005)

As the weather warms, I am beset by chino anxiety.

I was wearing a favorite pair yesterday, and, while sitting down, had the misfortune of catching my reflection head-on in a mirror.

I wear my chinos baggy--not clown-like, but loose and easy.

When sitting, the fabric in the crotch region (and I'm sorry for typing that) apparently folds, gathers, swells, and bulges obscenely. I was horrified and mesmerized by what was going on down there. Really shocking.

Anyone else with this problem? Any solutions? Or is this just the price we pay?


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## jmorgan32 (Apr 30, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Brownshoe_
> 
> As the weather warms, I am beset by chino anxiety.
> 
> ...


we have to pen andy and request that the forum be renamed trad/humor forum.
i KNOW you have to be kidding here.......
or.............if not. well,,,,, i read an article recently about some men (well sort of men i guess) who undergo an operation that made me sick to read about. i dont recommend it at all.


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## jmorgan32 (Apr 30, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Brownshoe_
> 
> As the weather warms, I am beset by chino anxiety.
> 
> ...


ps..........what kind of chinos are these? i need to buy 12 pairs. my social life has not been the best lately. you are one very lucky hombre.


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## crs (Dec 30, 2004)

There was some amusement in the newspaper industry recently over a sports photo in a Texas newspaper. The paper contends that the unfortunate image was merely a fold in the shorts; some readers believed the poor guy was hanging out of his shorts:

https://www.deadspin.com/sports/col...-only-they-wore-cups-in-basketball-158168.php


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## shuman (Dec 12, 2004)

Seriously, I do know that with long rise pants, excess fabric gathers in the groin region while sitting. If they were long rise, like Bills, etc. or roomy fit, this may explain this. I have this myself.


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## longwing (Mar 28, 2005)

There is an episode from the first season of Curb Your Enthusiasm that deals with this subject. Quite funny.


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## Wimsey (Jan 28, 2006)

Beauty pageant contestants would recommend duct tape. (On the inside). I have no actual knowledge of how this works, not do I have any insights as to exactly where and how the duct tape is applied. More importantly, I have no idea how the duct tape is removed.

This information is provided "as is" and is for informational purposes only. If you act on this advice it is at your own risk and Wimsey assumes no liability for any injury or complications, including but not limited to: (1) sterility; (2) impotence; (3) amputation; (4) castration; or (5) eunuchhood. [}]

(I'm troubled that the waiver is longer than the post).


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## jmorgan32 (Apr 30, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Wimsey_
> 
> Beauty pageant contestants would recommend duct tape. (On the inside). I have no actual knowledge of how this works, not do I have any insights as to exactly where and how the duct tape is applied. More importantly, I have no idea how the duct tape is removed.
> 
> ...


now...that was outstanding....have you noticed we have some damned good writers on this forum?


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## 3button Max (Feb 6, 2006)

glad i had that hydro seal operation


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## Patrick06790 (Apr 10, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Wimsey_
> 
> Beauty pageant contestants would recommend duct tape. (On the inside). I have no actual knowledge of how this works, not do I have any insights as to exactly where and how the duct tape is applied. More importantly, I have no idea how the duct tape is removed.
> 
> ...


Don't forget follicle damage.


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## 3button Max (Feb 6, 2006)

we have woefully neglected unsightly waistband curl--solved by old men in sansabelts 30 years ago/


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## boatshoes (Aug 21, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by 3button Max_
> 
> we have woefully neglected unsightly waistband curl--solved by old men in sansabelts 30 years ago/


If I'm thinking of the same thing, just don't wear a skinny belt.


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## rip (Jul 13, 2005)

> quote:_Originally posted by Wimsey_
> 
> Beauty pageant contestants would recommend duct tape. (On the inside). I have no actual knowledge of how this works, not do I have any insights as to exactly where and how the duct tape is applied. More importantly, I have no idea how the duct tape is removed.
> 
> ...


I'm a little unclear why a beauty pageant contestant would have this issue to deal with!

Esse Quam Videre


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## Brownshoe (Mar 1, 2005)

I wish I could take, er, anatomical credit for the problem, but it's just excess fabric.

Pockets flaring out, folds and creases, weird shapes...it's a nightmare.


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## Andy (Aug 25, 2002)

Brownshoe:

I think it's the rise (no pun intended)!

The rise is the length from the crotch seam to the top of the pants waist. Pants are sold in different rise measurements. Most stores stock only â€œregularâ€ rise pants, but if you are over 6 ft tall you need a â€œlongâ€ rise for a better, more comfortable fit. Sometimes short rises are available.

Short rise -- 10 Â½ inches 
Regular rise -- 11 inches 
Long rise -- 11 Â¼ inches 


Andy


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## RTW (Jan 7, 2006)

> quote:_Originally posted by LongWing_
> 
> There is an episode from the first season of Curb Your Enthusiasm that deals with this subject. Quite funny.


I love that episode! I think it was the first episode of Season 1 (excluding pilot).


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