Tempest

Honors Member
eagle2250, I'm not sure you can blame The Rock....you paid to go see that, you should know what happens when he's in a movie.
How can Mr. Johnson be blamed for a crime as bad as a Michael Bay movie?

I avoid unpromising movies, but still endured "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" in a theatre. A remarkably similar, bad movie was "Universal Soldier." I recall each consisting of prolonged chase and fight scenes that extended well past any reason or care. It was like when Peter fights the chicken of "Family Guy" except less funny and ten times longer.
 

Shaver

Suspended
Wait - No, hang on! I've been thinking..... I may not have a 'worst' movie but I can think of a 'most disappointing' movie : The recent remake of Brighton Rock with Helen Mirren and John Hurt.

How I looked forward to viewing that movie- Pinky Brown being one of my favourite characters from fiction and the source novel generally being a masterpiece - but what a total crock it was. You still can't beat the 1947 Dicky Attenborough version, after all these years.
 

Snow Hill Pond

Advanced Member
Wait - No, hang on! I've been thinking..... I may not have a 'worst' movie but I can think of a 'most disappointing' movie : The recent remake of Brighton Rock with Helen Mirren and John Hurt.

How I looked forward to viewing that movie- Pinky Brown being one of my favourite characters from fiction and the source novel generally being a masterpiece - but what a total crock it was. You still can't beat the 1947 Dicky Attenborough version, after all these years.
If you're going the "most disappointing" route, then David Lynch's Dune is a top candidate. It's not necessarily a bad movie, but it doesn't really reflect the novel well.
 

Shaver

Suspended
If you're going the "most disappointing" route, then David Lynch's Dune is a top candidate. It's not necessarily a bad movie, but it doesn't really reflect the novel well.
Now this is a subject that requires discussing over a whole evening with a drink in hand. :icon_smile:

There are so many different cuts of Dune available (most of them pirate admittedly) that the movie exists in many lengths and formats. Certainly the bridging sequences direct to camera are appalingly ham-fisted in their execution. The special effects and sets are still, by and large, commendably passable (all these years and post-CGI later). Given that Lynch shot around 30(!) hours of footage I would love to see the whole thing and judge it against the book on that merit... alas this will never come to pass. Still all in all perhaps Lynch's worst film - yet better than many others' best films though. :icon_smile_wink:
 

Shaver

Suspended
I agree. The movie is beautiful. The sets are breathtaking...even more so, considering that they were built by carpenters and not pixels.
The movie of 'Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy' is good for this too- everything is a set or costume, no matter how outlandish. And it really works - my eyes rebel against CGI.
 
Tempest;1394565It was like when Peter fights the chicken of "Family Guy" except less funny and ten times longer.[/QUOTE said:
I could barely stifle a giggle when I read this. Those scenes always crack me up. They are absurdly long and call attention to the trend of useless "action-packed" movies.
 

William Edwards

Starting Member
Tommy (the "Rock Opera").

God's teeth I wanted to throw myself from the window. It went on for 15 hours (or at least felt like it). I'd rather watch the Star Wars Holiday Special than go through that again. :devil:
 

Shaver

Suspended
Tommy (the "Rock Opera").

God's teeth I wanted to throw myself from the window. It went on for 15 hours (or at least felt like it). I'd rather watch the Star Wars Holiday Special than go through that again. :devil:
I like Tommy. Ollie Reed is magnificent in it. Tina Turner's stupendous performance as the Acid Queen.

Oh and *ahem* THIS scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChGxwRq3YcI

It's a cracking movie.

EDIT: By the way that you tube clip is 'viewer discretion advised'
 
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Jovan

Honors Member
Joking aside, there are of course thousands and thousands of movies made with little or no redeeming values. Anything from Uwe Boll for example... Then there are movies that are so intrinsically bad, they're funny - Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus for example. Then there are movies made by a first time hit director who gains the attention of a studio, gets a pile of cash and makes a monstrosity - Richard Kelly wrote and directed the fantastic Donnie Darko, but then went on to make the disastrous Southland Tales. Then there are the failed big budget blockbusters - Showgirls, Heaven's Gate, Cutthroat Island..... They flopped for a reason.... Finally, back to my first sentence.... There are thousands and thousands of movies made with little or no redeeming values... The Hottie and the Nottie, with Paris Hilton or 'Superbabies : Baby Geniuses 2 come to mind.... I'd rather scoop my eyes from their sockets with a rusty spoon than watch them....

But no.... none of those make my 'worst movie of all time'.... that honour goes to "Battlefield Earth". Even typing that makes me feel slightly ill..... It was shockingly bad and I quite possibly might have made use of a rusty spoon if I had one when I happened to watch it....
But would you like to touch rusty spoons with your salad fingers?

My vote goes to "The Room." I know it's kind of a cliche as far as bad movies go, but this one really has no redeeming qualities. It's not "so bad it's good." It's just bad.
Really? I died laughing at what they called "acting" and "dialogue".

The movie of 'Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy' is good for this too- everything is a set or costume, no matter how outlandish. And it really works - my eyes rebel against CGI.
I'd say it depends on what the CGI is used for and how well it is accomplished.

Star Trek (2009) used it to a beautiful extent, though sometimes I still sort of miss the days where exploding ships were achieved by loading up a model with glitter and firecrackers, then overlaying a filmed explosion element into the final composite. That said, ILM actually developed a program for the movie that creates explosions as they would actually appear and behave in zero gravity, so it's technically more authentic than a huge fireball. Pretty cool stuff.
 

jbmcb

Senior Member
Anyone old enough to have seen the original Star Wars trilogy on the big screen (or at least on VHS) knows that Jake Lloyd + Jar-Jar Binks = Worst Movie Ever
For anyone who hasn't seen it, here is a review by a group called Red Letter Media of Star Wars Episode One. It's nearly 90 minutes long. The narrator is a very disturbed and foul-mouthed man named Mr. Plinkett. It is, quite possibly, the greatest movie critique of all time. There are interviews with fans. There is intricate analysis of plot structure. There is implied murder and hostage-taking. There are disturbing offers of Totino's pizza rolls. It's Moviemaking 101 as brought to you by a sociopath:

https://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-wars/star-wars-episode-1-the-phantom-menace/

He also does the rest of the "prequel" trilogy, as well as every Star Trek TNG movie.
 
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Howard

Connoisseur
Eddie Murphy-Norbit that was one piece of garbage that I've seen from Eddie Murphy. I like Eddie Murphy and his other films but making really stupid films like this and Pluto Nash are on my list of ridiculousness.
 

toddorbertBU

Active Member with Corp. Privileges
I was bored one night so I'd thought I'd watch a random horror movie in Netflix. I picked one called Filthy McNasty, hoping for some bonus T&A. I think my high schools AV club could have made a better movie. Nonsensical plot, terrible effects, and the worst 'jokes'.

So bad that it was painful to watch.
 

eagle2250

Connoisseur/Curmudgeon Emeritus - Moderator
How many herein can/will admit to having experienced the Hangover movie series; numbers 1 and 2 and soon to be 3. Each movie in the series silver screen proof of the depths to which we might go in our search for few laughs! How much worse is it if the big screen experience impressed us to the point it became imperative to buy the DVDs, as they became available? :eek: :eek: (Just listen to the maniacal laughter in the background!)
 

VictorRomeo

Super Member
^ I freely admit to watching The Hangover and to be honest, it's one of the funniest comedies out there. I bust a gut laughing at that movie. Low-brow fart humour I don't find particular funny, but with the right cast and gags low-brow crude and crass humour can work well. I mean, you see the jokes coming a mile off and in the wrong hands can be a disaster. "Dude, Where's my Car?" is a good example. It has a similar plot with similar gags, however the Hangover is a far superior laugh.

I did not see the sequel.
 

Shaver

Suspended
^ I freely admit to watching The Hangover and to be honest, it's one of the funniest comedies out there. I bust a gut laughing at that movie. Low-brow fart humour I don't find particular funny, but with the right cast and gags low-brow crude and crass humour can work well. I mean, you see the jokes coming a mile off and in the wrong hands can be a disaster. "Dude, Where's my Car?" is a good example. It has a similar plot with similar gags, however the Hangover is a far superior laugh.

I did not see the sequel.
The sequence where a character advises Mike Tyson what a noble animal Tyson's tiger is, whilst pre-recorded cctv footage shows him in the act of pretending to hump it, makes me laugh like a drain. :smile:
 

MaxBuck

Advanced Member
Anything with Denise Richards is guaranteed to contain some of the worst "acting" ever recorded onscreen. Yet I find my eyes irresistably drawn to Ms. Richards's ... big brown eyes.

What an incredible rack. I could suffer through nearly anything just to see her upper torso undulate.
 
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