Appreciated, it is hard though know get better over time.Please accept my condolences, too. It’s always difficult to really lose any family member but especially parents.
I cringe at the day I lose mine.
Please take my advice and spend as much time as you can and ask lots questions, even if seems rudimentary. For example, never asked Dad about his employment and turns out he worked at a solar company doing energy evaluations, though when I told him I was getting a degree in energy evaluation, he never mentioned. I only found out because there was a copy of his resume he sent the employer of his second and last job in the desk (which was apparently never cleared out even when moved, just like his parent dressers that contained magazines and papers as far back as 1943).
And when you do loose a parent, don't dwell on the what ifs. For example, I was upset I got into a spat with my Dad, though soon let it go recognizing we were the same personality and he knew I meant no harm. Besides, all water under the bridge and can only learn from mistakes.