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mikel

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In cooperation with our friends over at Tiege Hanley, we just published the following article about 7 Self-Care Lessons fathers would teach their sons.

https://askandyaboutclothes.com/7-self-care-lessons/

If I had a son, here are some self-care suggestions I'd make:
  1. Exercise often
  2. Eat well, but don't obsess over it
  3. Get a massage once per month if you're able
  4. Real men use facial scrub
  5. Manscaping is perfectly ok -- as well as appreciated
  6. Dress smart, though ensure you're comfortable
If you have a son, or would have a son, what would be the top self-care lessons you'd share (or have shared) with him?
 

Shaver

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Actually had to Google "manscaping" - never knew (or even knew of) any woman who would appreciate that as opposed to think that there was something quite wrong.



No.1 for me is an old chestnut - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" - which probably really is the ultimate form of "self-care" if one thinks about it...
I subscribe to a variation of the creed expounded by Mrs. Do As You Would Be Done By - the addendum being, Unless They Demand Otherwise. Many individuals appreciate being exploited; they seemingly believe that it is better to be used than to be useless.

Further, and occasionally:

"You should do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but if your courtesy is not returned, they should be treated with the wrath they deserve."
- Anton Szandor LaVey

Albeit, treatment being symptomatic, often indifference and exclusion is a more powerful response than wrath.

As to advice for my, imaginary, son - always be clean and tidy, a classical education will ease your path, and, remember, never demean yourself for access to a female's groin.
 

TKI67

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Don’t do things that have a high probability of damaging joints. Arthritis and worse can really limit your enjoyment of life.

Take up golf, including scrupulous adherence to the rules and code of honor.

Before words leave your lips, learn to assess how they will be received and adjust as needed.

Don’t rack up debt, but do be generous when you can. This includes more than money. Be generous with your kindness.
 

Fading Fast

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Practice personal integrity. Be that person whose word is completely trusted because you don't fudge the truth, go back on what you say, make something up to sound smarter or cover for something stupid you did (if you do something stupid, admit it, let them laugh at you because, in the end, they'll respect you more and know that, in the future, if you say you didn't do something, they'll believe you).

Included in this is to honor your commitments, be on time and don't gossip or take cheap shots. Try never to borrow, but if you do, pay it back on time and unprompted (the same with a gambling debt) - never make the person have to ask you for money you owe to them.

My Dad was that person and taught it to me. I've fallen short at times and have always regretted it because honoring it - having integrity - pays two dividends: you feel good about yourself and people trust you. And if you practice it early and always, it becomes an easy habit.

Developing a reputation for personal integrity is incredibly helpful in both your personal and professional life.
 

delicious_scent

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It's alright to cry, it's a purge of emotions and you will feel better after.

It's masculine to be kind to everyone.

It's alright to ask for help, know your limitations.

Light-moderate cardiovascular exercise improves blood flow to your brain and improves mental health.
 

Cassadine

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I subscribe to a variation of the creed expounded by Mrs. Do As You Would Be Done By - the addendum being, Unless They Demand Otherwise. Many individuals appreciate being exploited; they seemingly believe that it is better to be used than to be useless.

Further, and occasionally:

"You should do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but if your courtesy is not returned, they should be treated with the wrath they deserve."
- Anton Szandor LaVey

Albeit, treatment being symptomatic, often indifference and exclusion is a more powerful response than wrath.

As to advice for my, imaginary, son - always be clean and tidy, a classical education will ease your path, and, remember, never demean yourself for access to a female's groin.

Good grief, man, pull yourself together. You're quoting Howard Stanton Levey? The sky is crying and the trees weep. Just go to Ayn Rand or Ragnar Redbeard--ad fontes!!!

BTW the "Many individuals.." sentence is reminiscent of early Eurythmics. I'll take Chrissy Hynde over Annie anyday. LOL. I saw The Pretenders in the summer of 1980 at The Capitol Theater in Passaic NJ (RIP), and was floored by the visceral energy. For a moment Chrissy removed Stevie Nicks from my heart. A few Heinekens later and I returned to my senses.

Cultural trivia. Howard Stanton Levey died on the same date, 10/29, as did Duane Allman. I think the latter was far and away the greater cultural loss. Although Anton did give us Zeena Galatea who was marvelous in the 1980's; never grasped what she saw, or continues to see, in Nick the Shreck.
 

Cassadine

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I have a son. Cannot believe he's 19 already. I hear Floyd's Time in the background. Here's a bit of what I've tried to teach him. My daughter as well. Not in consecutive order.

1. The words of Time will haunt you if you do not heed its lesson. Ephesians 5:16 (NKJV) got it earlier.
2. Walk into a room like you own it, but treat everyone as your equal--even if they're not.
3. Never see yourself through another's person's sunglasses.
4. Always be the best dressed person in the room. I landed two lucrative sales positions simply because of my attire.
5. Avoid drinking, drugging and driving. That troika killed my best friend at age 19. I still mourn him.
6. Never EVER raise your hand to a woman. if you do, I'll raise my hand to you. I won't miss.
To my daughter a variation on the theme. One "threat" and you dump the guy, then tell me, your brother and then cousins. I know how to use a shovel.
7. The insurance companies run the world and they think you'll probably get to age 75. If you work assiduously between ages 12-25, the next 50 will be easier than if you slacked off.
8. if you've no children you can afford to make mistakes with career choices. Once "Father" is your title then you put bread and meat on the table. Period.
 

Peak and Pine

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I have a son. Cannot believe he's 19 already. I hear Floyd's Time in the background. Here's a bit of what I've tried to teach him. My daughter as well. Not in consecutive order.

1. The words of Time will haunt you if you do not heed its lesson. Ephesians 5:16 (NKJV) got it earlier.
2. Walk into a room like you own it, but treat everyone as your equal--even if they're not.
3. Never see yourself through another's person's sunglasses.
4. Always be the best dressed person in the room. I landed two lucrative sales positions simply because of my attire.
5. Avoid drinking, drugging and driving. That troika killed my best friend at age 19. I still mourn him.
6. Never EVER raise your hand to a woman. if you do, I'll raise my hand to you. I won't miss.
To my daughter a variation on the theme. One "threat" and you dump the guy, then tell me, your brother and then cousins. I know how to use a shovel.
7. The insurance companies run the world and they think you'll probably get to age 75. If you work assiduously between ages 12-25, the next 50 will be easier than if you slacked off.
8. if you've no children you can afford to make mistakes with career choices. Once "Father" is your title then you put bread and meat on the table. Period.
Not bad. It got my Like, even though it wandered away from the premise of the thread which I think is about grooming and dress. Couple of points. I learned that you're not a vegetarian. And I'm not so sure I'd be sticking around if folks kept walking into a room like they owned it. Did not get the sunglasses thing. I have no advice of my own to pass on to errant youth, except maybe No shirt, no shoes, no service doesn't always really mean that. Go ahead, strip off, you think there's a special jail for the shirtless?
 

Cassadine

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Not bad. It got my Like, even though it wandered away from the premise of the thread which I think is about grooming and dress. Couple of points. I learned that you're not a vegetarian. And I'm not so sure I'd be sticking around if folks kept walking into a room like they owned it. Did not get the sunglasses thing. I have no advice of my own to pass on to errant youth, except maybe No shirt, no shoes, no service doesn't always really mean that. Go ahead, strip off, you think there's a special jail for the shirtless?
Hmm. Shaver got me rattled and off point--that's his speciality--and no one tops him in that regard!. I think a few chaps veered. But I'll revise a bit. I did qualify the "walk into the room" advice.

1. Always strive to be the best dressed person in the room.
2. Never criticize another man's clothes. You're not walking in his shoes so don't presume he's not doing his best.
3. Find a pure soap (Ivory et. al.) that doesn't irritate your skin and stick with it.
4. Avoid fads and fashion forward clothing.
5. Go easy on the cologne. No need to smell like a cheap gigolo.
6. Man purses are not allowed in our family.
7. In hazy, hot and humid weather--travel with an extra shirt. You'll need it.
8. It's easier to stay in shape when you're younger, then to get in shape when you're older.
9. Nothing matters in the realm of footwear than fit and comfort. Take care of your feet.
10. Sweat equals "stink" eventually. Check yourself, in private, throughout the day.
11. Never waste a salesperson's time "window" shopping. Take his name, help yourself, then make sure he gets his commission.
12. The clothes do not make the man, but they reflect the type of man one is. Aim high.
13. Buy quality, understated clothing that is elegant but not ostentatious.
14. Shower and shave daily--2x if needed.
15. Donate unused clothing to those in need. You just might change the man's life; he might get that needed job because of the nice sport coat you donated.
 

Shaver

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Good grief, man, pull yourself together. You're quoting Howard Stanton Levey? The sky is crying and the trees weep. Just go to Ayn Rand or Ragnar Redbeard--ad fontes!!!

BTW the "Many individuals.." sentence is reminiscent of early Eurythmics. I'll take Chrissy Hynde over Annie anyday. LOL. I saw The Pretenders in the summer of 1980 at The Capitol Theater in Passaic NJ (RIP), and was floored by the visceral energy. For a moment Chrissy removed Stevie Nicks from my heart. A few Heinekens later and I returned to my senses.

Cultural trivia. Howard Stanton Levey died on the same date, 10/29, as did Duane Allman. I think the latter was far and away the greater cultural loss. Although Anton did give us Zeena Galatea who was marvelous in the 1980's; never grasped what she saw, or continues to see, in Nick the Shreck.
Oh, you know how it is, clumsy haruspication, merely attempts at divination of the future from that offal and, all being well, providing an enhanced access to the present.

"Check out my Chrissy behind - it's fine all of the time."

 

Cassadine

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Oh, you know how it is, clumsy haruspication, merely attempts at divination of the future from that offal and, all being well, providing an enhanced access to the present.

"Check out my Chrissy behind - it's fine all of the time."


Ahh, Chrissy. Ray Davies--the lucky dog.
 

Peak and Pine

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Ahh, Chrissy. Ray Davies--the lucky dog.
In a post above, mine, a double Like, spelled out, was given to the adjacent post by member Cassadine using this symbol: ^. That was a few hours ago. Now I see that a post by Shaver has been sandwiched in between Cassadine's and mine, making it look like the ^ refers to Shaver's post. Hardly, plus no way. The Double Like is Cassadine's. I only have eyes for you.
 

Cassadine

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In a post above, mine, a double Like, spelled out, was given to the post just above it by member Cassadine using this symbol: ^. That was a few hours ago. Now I see that a post by Shaver has been sandwiched in between Cassadine's and mine, making it look like the ^ refers to Shaver's post. Hardly, plus no way. The Double Like is Cassadine's. I only have eyes for you.
Thanks. Be careful. Shaver has an acerbic wit; he doesn't debate with a saber--he uses a scalpel--or, more likely, a straight razor. He's fantastic fun.