Not Flanderian, but I will give you my 2 cents. There should be some concordance between the two but it's not a rigid rule. I think if you keep it within a half inch or so it's a non issue. Anything greater than or equal to an inch will start to look off. You probably will be fine with 3 1/4. It's really common sense - things either look right or they don't.Flanderian, a question for you. What is your opinion on wearing lapels wider than your tie? I recently purchased a suit with 4" lapels. I love the look, but I feel that a 4" tie is just too much for me. I have several ties in the 3.25 range. Can they work with wide lapels?